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My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by willanderson: 5:16am On Jul 11
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

Birds of the same feather flocks together....

58 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by CosmicJames(m): 5:32am On Jul 11
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all
The only problem you have is that you are afraid of losing her. So you end up taking all sorts of rubbish from her!
Imagine you apologizing for her own mistakes just to keep the relationship going.
How long will you be doing that?

May sense fall on you!

Stop the fear of losing her to regain your real self and be fine. Stop thinking that you can't do without her.

You want to know how to do it? Ok.
Imagine that she travels to a far away country to stay permanently, where you will never have a chance to see her again.

14 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Olifiz(m): 5:55am On Jul 11
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

Pls forget the toilet part. Do you apologize wen wrong or u put up a nasty face n keep malice?

Are you open to corrections or u feel to big to be corrected?

Don’t get it wrong these are the major complains OP is tryin to make. I’m sure u won’t like a guy who won’t apologize to u wen he’s wrong or a guy who keep malice with u wen u correct him.

26 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by veraiyke(m): 5:56am On Jul 11
R
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by ITbomb(m): 5:59am On Jul 11
Almost everyone including those who had been in the same shoes agree that you should leave her

So.

The Ayes have it

14 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by veraiyke(m): 6:00am On Jul 11
This is one thing I hate. A girl never seeing a reason to say sorry. Rather defence mechanism will be activated and next you will become bad cox you talked about what you perceive is going wrong. Never be afraid to lose a woman. I think some of them play on it

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 6:00am On Jul 11
walesalak:
ijebu shey?

Correct
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 6:06am On Jul 11
pocohantas:


So, are you (still) single now? smiley

Yea. I consider myself, because I'm ending this for good
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 6:06am On Jul 11
pocohantas:


So, are you (still) single now? smiley

Yea. I consider myself, because I'm ending this for good.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by ojoj(m): 6:07am On Jul 11
My brother, it's natural. She needs a re assurance. Most of us are wired that way. Women are like kids. When you rebuked them, you need to bring them back to reassure them. Even we that have been married for a lot of years, our wives behave that way. Even mine, will pass by you in the house a d tried as much as possible not to let a little part of her body touch you.
Please roll with her since she has scaled about 70% of the qualities you want in a lady. Please manage her. When you rebuked her, bring her back and tell her you love her. With time, she will do it less. It is well.

9 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 6:11am On Jul 11
donstan18:
I'll advice you to break up with her and allow her learn the hard way from a hard and tough man.

But incase you want otherwise, then read.

She's taking advantage of you because you seems to be a good and caring guy, and one of the habit of a typical Nigerian lady is to take such men for granted.

All you need to do is to pay less attention to her nagging attitude for a while. Give her the same attitude in a higher measure. Allow her understand what "Correction" is all about by putting an end to your act of begging her after correcting her on something.


She's taking your kindness for a ride and indirectly wanting to turn you to a MUGU with her nasty attitude. Man up and go aggressive/less concerned on her for a while. Just a while.

She'll change if she really cared for you, but If after she fails to change. DUMP her for a respectful lady who will give you peace of mind with no nasty attitude.

A good one here. Thanks bro

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by oniru4real: 6:45am On Jul 11
I have the same issue with my gf. I m still praying that she will change. I love her so much
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by carlos1(m): 6:46am On Jul 11
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

U and Buhari r one of the problems of this country, u no get sense at all. No common sense for ur head.

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by pocohantas(f): 6:59am On Jul 11
boiz2men:



angry I haven't deactivated and you are flirting with another man.....

And you are supposed to be my nl babe.... angry

I asked because I want to know if he is still available.
In case his chick swallows her pride and comes begging cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by lereinter(m): 7:13am On Jul 11
the gal is comfortable or comes from comfortable family

most gals in such category behave like that

you are the one to call her and give her stern warning not threat, just like a husband will warn a wife
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by godfrey01(m): 7:15am On Jul 11
[quote author=delugajackson post=69262348][b]You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.[




... you spoke well.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by wristbangle(m): 7:19am On Jul 11
It's obvious you are dating an immature & extremely spoilt lady. There are derogatory values that can be work on to change the perspective of a person positively. Envy, malice, over-pamper and overbloated ego are not part of it. These red signals points she will send you to early grave in future.

This is why it's paramount to date a person and watch closely if the partner ticks the box of positive traits and un ticks dangerous negative traits.

Also, I blame you for pleasing her too much hence apologise and begging when she is at fault. Don't you dare do that for any woman, you will be seen as a weakling. Be a man, be assertive!

Look bro, She can't change and it's best you call off the relationship. It sounds blunt but it's for your good.


Regards,

Lalasticlala. I think this thread deserves wider view.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by ndy87(f): 7:29am On Jul 11
biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.






Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by BestDude: 7:34am On Jul 11
delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.

Thank you.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by kunleweb: 7:37am On Jul 11
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.


You get bad mouth, i swear you invented trouble cheesy - " like you an eraser "
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by BestDude: 7:37am On Jul 11
donstan18:
I'll advice you to break up with her and allow her learn the hard way from a hard and tough man.

But incase you want otherwise, then read.

She's taking advantage of you because you seems to be a good and caring guy, and one of the habit of a typical Nigerian lady is to take such men for granted.

All you need to do is to pay less attention to her nagging attitude for a while. Give her the same attitude in a higher measure. Allow her understand what "Correction" is all about by putting an end to your act of begging her after correcting her on something.


She's taking your kindness for a ride and indirectly wanting to turn you to a MUGU with her nasty attitude. Man up and go aggressive/less concerned on her for a while. Just a while.

She'll change if she really cared for you, but If after she fails to change. DUMP her for a respectful lady who will give you peace of mind with no nasty attitude.

Thank you.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by BestDude: 7:46am On Jul 11
oniru4real:
I have the same issue with my gf. I m still praying that she will change. I love her so much
that is no love. That is stupidity. Can you love a mad woman on the street? Look, you will not get her respect if you continue.

Women don't respect men that tolerate their crap. They are drawn to masculinity... You got to assert your man power... Like a stern but loving father that scold his child when correcting them.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by ednut1(m): 7:52am On Jul 11
oniru4real:
I have the same issue with my gf. I m still praying that she will change. I love her so much
weak men everywhere. Smh

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by bigocean(m): 8:05am On Jul 11
@op, most of the comments before mine have said it all.

Any relationship where one party has to always beg is not healthy. Marriage is a life long affair, now for how long will you continue to tolerate and beg.
Trust me, you Will get tired someday and am sure you don't want to have a failed marriage.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by majekdom2: 8:13am On Jul 11
There is nothing to work on really. You are with an emotional unintelligent lady who is not mature too. The word "I'm sorry" saves loads and it takes emotional intelligence to tell when one is wrong and say this word. You will be unhappy with this lady if she feels she can't be scolded, can't realise her mistakes and say I'm sorry. This is because a man is wired to want respect. Forget all that cooking and stuffs you are seeing. It won't keep you happy. If it did, you won't be here. I tell you all these from experience.

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by fashionale(m): 8:30am On Jul 11
My brother, she's not into the relationship as you are, I doubt if she truly loves you. She's in for your money.

Solution: first, make up your mind to be the man in your relationship. Call her and communicate with her on this her attitude, how you feel about it and if she doesn't change, you will not be in the relationship. Because this her attitude is as a result of lack of respect for you. And there's no true without respect.
Secondly, check how you correct her when she how's wrong. Do you do it with harsh voice or you usually latch out on her even in public. There are people who don't like been scolded with harsh voice or in public.
In all, communicate calmly with her. But if she refuses let er go bro. A woman that loves you will do anything to make you happy.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by obi4eze: 8:35am On Jul 11
biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.
100000 likes

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by MissJoy29(f): 8:49am On Jul 11
veraiyke:
This is one thing I hate. A girl never seeing a reason to say sorry. Rather defence mechanism will be activated and next you will become bad cox you talked about what you perceive is going wrong. Never be afraid to lose a woman. I think some of them play on it
I have had friends who were like this. Always NEVER accepting their wrong. They will drag it o, defend, put up silly exuses, try to trade blames, beat about the bush and the worst of all, guilt-trip you and end up making you feel bad for saying anything in the first place. God! Those emotional manipulators!

I had like 3 friends like that. One was a love interest. The good thing was that he was able to adjust. I started by explaining to him that doing all those rigmarole when its clear you are wrong and eventually saying "sorry" takes the value and weight out it. You have put me through emotional stress and I won't accept the sorry again. Tomorrow you will say the person is keeping malice with you. I did this with him for a while until bam! He adjusted. I watched him say, "I'm sorry" without lame excuses and I respected him the more.

The other two friends didn't. And there's nothing I detest than someone who is too full of him/herself. You will be dropped like you are hot cos it's a very bad attitude

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by MissJoy29(f): 8:52am On Jul 11
fashionale:
My brother, she's not into the relationship as you are, I doubt if she truly loves you. She's in for your money.

Solution: first, make up your mind to be the man in your relationship. Call her and communicate with her on this her attitude, how you feel about it and if she doesn't change, you will not be in the relationship. Because this her attitude is as a result of lack of respect for you. And there's no true without respect.
Secondly, check how you correct her when she how's wrong. Do you do it with harsh voice or you usually lash out on her even in public. There are people who don't like been scolded with harsh voice or in public.
In all, communicate calmly with her. But if she refuses let er go bro. A woman that loves you will do anything to make you happy.
Nobody would actually.

6 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by donstan18(m): 8:53am On Jul 11
MissJoy29:

I have had friends who were like this. Always NEVER accepting their wrong. They will drag it o, defend, put up silly exuses, try to trade blames, beat about the bush and the worst of all, guilt-trip you and end up making you feel bad for saying anything in the first place. God! Those emotional manipulators.

I had like 3 friends like that. One was a love interest. The good thing was that he was able to adjust. I started by explaining to him that doing all those rigmarole when its clear you are wrong and eventually saying "sorry" takes the value and weight out it. You have put me through emotional stress and I won't accept the sorry again. Tomorrow you will say the person is keeping malice with you. I did this with him for a while until bam! He adjusted. I watched him say, "I'm sorry" without lame excuses and I respected him the more.

The other two friends didn't. And there's nothing I detest than someone who is too full of him/herself. It's a very bad attitude

You are always having friends to type about.


Continue!

9 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by MissJoy29(f): 8:56am On Jul 11
donstan18:


You are always having friends to type about.


Continue!
Lol....my wealth of experience runs deep honey.

After insulting me the other day, you are the last person I wanna see on my mention.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by donstan18(m): 9:00am On Jul 11
MissJoy29:

Lol....my wealth of experience runs deep honey.

After insulting me the other day, you are the last person I wanna see on my mention.

Reason why I gave such age-pediction that day kiss


Insult you? I don't insult ladies. I've never done that before?

1 Like

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