UjuJoan2:


I remember when I was in the University together with my elder brother, and one of our 'uncles' relocated to our town. My dad called us (myself and my brother) to inform us of this development and instructed us to go and pay him a visit and welcome him to the town. My brother, being a sharp guy went first and met with 'uncle' and had a swell time. 'Uncle' was lodged in a hotel then and my brother was treated to room service buffet meal/drinks, and of course a generous amount of 'pocket money'.

I remember the excitement when my brother told me the good news, I couldn't wait to go for my own share of the enjoyment. Imagine my shock when I got to his hotel room and 'uncle' decided I had to pay for my own goodies in kind. Uncle did not even pity me and at least buy me a meal, seeing that I was visibly starving, after fasting all day in anticipation of the wonderful hotel meal. Needless to say, I left his hotel room empty handed, not even my transport fare was refunded.

I can give you up-to 6 (at least) instances of similar occurrences . . . one was even a first cousin, another was a catholic priest.

And one mumu will open his dirty mouth and claim male superiority. . . when 80% of them lack basic morality, self control and common sense.

Hmmm, even people we call families think there is nothing wrong with sleeping with their niece

cococandy:


@bold, but that’s the one of the core manifestations of inequality

Well, this inequality cannot be solved by laws; they can only be solved by proper upbringing and women respecting themselves.

Hanseel1:

Jeez...what kind of unruly and uncivilized behavior is this?
Can't you be civilized and polite?.

What part of my post is unruly? The part that didn’t agree with you?

I don't even live in Nigeria

irrelevant to the discussion

but I'm a Nigerian and I know what's happening in Nigeria.

you obviously don’t

Women should be able to stop their parents from taking bride price from suitors.

in an ideal world maybe. In another world where she can’t tie the men in both families up and stop them from carrying out their plans, then it’s easier said than done.

That's why Nigerian men kill and beat cheating wives because they believe they paid for her.

maybe. But that’s not the only reason why. It’s a fundamental ideology ingrained in them from their fetal stages that they can do whatever they want and women should burn for the same offenses. The ones that didn’t pay bride price still can’t understand why they should treat women as themselves.

Bride price is just like the men acquiring the women as properties.

I agree

Trust me, if bride price is abolished. Nigerian men will come to their senses.

I doubt that but I still think it should be abolished.

You descended on me for saying what I've observed. If you know me very well on this forum ,I'm an advocate of women rights and you can see that from my topics both on this account and my other account.

a true women’s advocate would not blame women for situations they have no control over.

Majority of Nigerian married women still depend heavily on their husbands. Until they stop depending on men as if their entire existence depends on the men and at the same time stop their parents from collecting bride price nothing is going to change.

I'll only deem it fit to reply you again if you give me a mention that is mature and polite.

That’s how it’s obvious that you don’t live in Nigeria. Millions of Nigerian women toil everyday to bring food to the table and take care of the children. I can’t take anyone seriously who says otherwise. You obviously have not been to the markets, banks, schools, roadsides, farms and motor parks to see women hustling under rain and shine every single day.

I don’t need your reply, but if you post something that is condescending towards women again, I’ll call you out on it. Maybe I’ll start the post with “dear sir” and end with a “thank you”.

That would be mature, civilized and polite.

cococandy:
That’s how it’s obvious that you don’t live in Nigeria. Millions of Nigerian women toil everyday to bring food to the table and take care of the children. I can’t take anyone seriously who says otherwise. You obviously have not been to the markets, banks, schools, roadsides, farms and motor parks to see women hustling under rain and shine every single day

I am amazed that the average NLer still believes that a husband is the sole provider in today's Nigeria.

Hanseel1:


Until Nigerian women stop depending on men for their existence and also stop their parents from collecting bride price from suitors, Nigerian men will continue to see them as properties .

Home upbringing and mentality are a part to this but most times it is dependency nature of Nigerian women and bride price.
If you ask a typical Nigerian man why he beats his wife, why his wife should be the one to cook, why his wife should see him as her God he will tell you that he paid bride price & also paying house rent,providing money for the running of the home.

What of in countries and cultures where men do not pay bride price? The domination mentality is still there. It has nothing to do with paying bride and everything to do with male ego and a faulty perception of women due to upbringing or personal experiences.

Men that treat their wives like trash and those that treat their wives like queens both paid bride price.

So if someone wants to use paying bride price as an excuse to treat a woman like an acquisition, it is a personal thing.

Hanseel1:

Jeez...what kind of unruly and uncivilized behavior is this?
Can't you be civilized and polite?.

I don't even live in Nigeria but I'm a Nigerian and I know what's happening in Nigeria.

Women should be able to stop their parents from taking bride price from suitors.
That's why Nigerian men kill and beat cheating wives because they believe they paid for her.
Bride price is just like the men acquiring the women as properties.

Trust me, if bride price is abolished. Nigerian men will come to their senses.

You descended on me for saying what I've observed. If you know me very well on this forum ,I'm an advocate of women rights and you can see that from my topics both on this account and my other account.


Majority of Nigerian married women still depend heavily on their husbands.

Until they stop depending on men as if their entire existence depends on the men and at the same time stop their parents from collecting bride price nothing is going to change.

I'll only deem it fit to reply you again if you give me a mention that is mature and polite.

How much is bride price that is enough to buy a human being? These days the couple handle the wedding expenses together. And more and more wives are major breadwinners in the home.

Bride price is a cultural heritage here even if it has been abused by greedy relatives.

And as i said earlier, those that treat their wives like queens and those that treat their wives like trash both paid bride price.

But some choose to use bride price as an excuse to mistreat their wives.

Kelvin30286063:
A few years ago my dad had 3 of his children
in some universities around the country all at the same time.
I was one of those 3. My immediate younger sister was another while the next after her was the last.

So its just natural that things were tight financially. Either of us will always need something at one time or the other.
And my dad had to always share whatever resources available among us. That means if the money available is 10k, we had no choice than to share the 10k among the 3 of us.
Naturally if you are going to share 10k among 3 kids, it should be 3,250 each but my dad will always find a way to give my sister the lion share.
Like she gets more money and I get less.

Like I'm the older one here!
Hello!

That continued for a few months until I couldn't take it anymore so I had to confront him.
Respectfully of course.
That day I was home and so was my sister so I knew if we don't address that issue before the day we are leaving then I'll have lesser share of the family cake again!
I walked up to my dad that night and stammered through what I had to say.
I knew if I don't get my lines right, I might be in trouble so I had a little rehearsal time in my room.
Make I no go lose my entire allawee.

After all said, my dad looked at me and asked me how long I had been feeling that that.
I was like feeling what sir?

"This hatred for your sister" he said?

Then I automatically switched to defense mode and told him straight up that I don't hate her but I just don't like the fact that I'm getting less than she does, especially being the older one.

Then he told me a few things I didn't think about before. He reminded me that my sister schools at Abuja while I school in Ondo and of course the cost of living is not the same.
I could have easily told him that is not an excuse of course if not that he's my fucking dad!

Then his last statement got me even more confuse. He reminded me that my sister is a girl.

Whatever that means... Whatever, I walked out of his sight. My dad was never right when I was younger.

Now fast-forward to today, I realized how right he was about that last statement, Nigerian girls are exposed to so many dangers out there alone on their own. In schools, work and in the society at large.
Now a girl can not have a boyfriend in peace. If he's a yahoo boy, she might end up being a victim of ritual killing.
And you think of the fact that an innocent girl can not even stand alone at night and be safe.
There are so much danger out there for our women and every time I think about them, I just thank God I'm a man.
And wonder how it feels to live in Nigeria as a girl child, with so much fear and uncertainty.
Everyday, a girl is either raped, assaulted or killed and you wonder what happens if this continues.

I feel am going too far, let's even talk about the common dangers our women are exposed to this days, a guy walks up to her and tell her she's the only one in his life. He'll give her heaven and earth.
Being human, she believed him and the relationship started. Then after sipping the sweet wine, he started acting funny, started avoiding her calls, and the next thing you see is that he has moved on to the next girl.
Then girl moved on and found another guy, same thing happened.
Then tomorrow, a jobless dude standing in a corner watching her jump from one man to another comes out and say she's a cheap girl.

My brother, were you there when those cheap men were promising her a kingdom in a fairy world?

It is very wrong. I think it's high time guys stop seeing girls as a sexual tool.
Do you even know that 75% of marriages in Nigeria only happened because the girl got pregnant and there was no other choice?
How do we avoid domestic violence when that dude is not satisfied with the woman he married?

And why will you marry her when you know there are things you hate about her. I mean, let's be rational here. If you don't really love that girl, fine you guys had sex. You both agreed to the sex and now she's pregnant. It's just sane that you save the media some crime story and just accept the baby and leave the girl.

This is not me preach oo, this is just me saying that girls should not always be the victims just because they are "not fast"


https://www.zealnut.com/blogs/entry/The-Fears-of-Being-A-Girl-In-Nigeria

His last statement wasn't and isn't right.
A girl shouldn't get more allowance just because she's a girl and your claims of Nigerian Girls being exposed to so many dangers, now, would you tell me boys aren't exposed to the same dangers?.
As for the assholes(i won't call them men/guys) who dump girls anyhow, I won't really blame them. Girls do worse to their boyfriends. You wonder how a male who has invested much in a relationship get dumped by the girl because she found someone richer, huh?

Dumping isn't limited to one gender,so I'll advice you to stop playing the gender card just to attract likes.

And as for the false promises / lies, I believe Nigerian men only succeed in that aspect because Nigerian girls always want to be in paradise without working hard.

Everything has become a gender stuff in this world.
Some weeks ago people died in a bombing and what I saw on the headline was “ Women and children... ”
When I opened the post I saw that they acknowledged that many men died but they were just emphasing much/only on the death of women and children as if men are meant to die while women and children shouldn't die.

Any danger a female is exposed to be rest assured that a male is exposed to it, just that it is limited.


In the current /ongoing war against Boko Haram, almost 97% of the fighters deployed by the Nigerian military are men according to the statistics presented by the Nigerian government in 2016.

Men are left alone to fight against terrorists while women are left alone in the barracks, isn't that being exposed to danger?.

Nigeria is a primitive,patriachal and uncivilized country where much is expected of/from men. Yet I don't read about men protesting.

ImaIma1:


How much is bride price that is enough to buy a human being? These days the couple handle the wedding expenses together. And more and more wives are major breadwinners in the home.

Bride price is a cultural heritage here even if it has been abused by greedy relatives.

And as i said earlier, those that treat their wives like queens and those that treat their wives like trash both paid bride price.

But some choose to use bride price as an excuse to mistreat their wives.

You're still asking me how much is bride price?.. Is this what a female have to say?

As long as money is paid even if it is 50naira most men see it like they have acquired you as a property.

ImaIma1:


How much is bride price that is enough to buy a human being? These days the couple handle the wedding expenses together. And more and more wives are major breadwinners in the home.

Bride price is a cultural heritage here even if it has been abused by greedy relatives.

And as i said earlier, those that treat their wives like queens and those that treat their wives like trash both paid bride price.

But some choose to use bride price as an excuse to mistreat their wives.

Dear I agree that it has to do with faulty upbringing but most times it has to with the bride price stuff.

You were on that cooking thread where a lady made a comment :

You're a guy so you tried.

I quoted her and asked her why she should exempt the young man from blames just because he's a man as if men aren't meant to cook.

I also told her that women aren't cooking machines but she replied me that's the way things are.

Only for an overzealous misogynist pig to quote me and was saying bullshît about gender roles.

I corrected him that anyone who still believes in gender roles is plainly primitive and misogynistic but the bitch started reminding me of how men are expected to propose, pay bride price and at the same time pay bride price. ]


Nigerian men who beat their wives is as a result of wrong/faulty upbringing, yes but every other area is because of bride price and dependency.

cococandy:

What part of my post is unruly? The part that didn’t agree with you?

irrelevant to the discussion
you obviously don’t

in an ideal world maybe. In another world where she can’t tie the men in both families up and stop them from carrying out their plans, then it’s easier said than done.

maybe. But that’s not the only reason why. It’s a fundamental ideology ingrained in them from their fetal stages that they can do whatever they want and women should burn for the same offenses. The ones that didn’t pay bride price still can’t understand why they should treat women as themselves.


I agree

I doubt that but I still think it should be abolished.


a true women’s advocate would not blame women for situations they have no control over.



That’s how it’s obvious that you don’t live in Nigeria. Millions of Nigerian women toil everyday to bring food to the table and take care of the children. I can’t take anyone seriously who says otherwise. You obviously have not been to the markets, banks, schools, roadsides, farms and motor parks to see women hustling under rain and shine every single day.

I don’t need your reply, but if you post something that is condescending towards women again, I’ll call you out on it. Maybe I’ll start the post with “dear sir” and end with a “thank you”.

That would be mature, civilized and polite.

What part of my post is unruly? The part that didn’t agree with you?

irrelevant to the discussion
you obviously don’t

in an ideal world maybe. In another world where she can’t tie the men in both families up and stop them from carrying out their plans, then it’s easier said than done.

Only women and the government can stop the payment of bride price in Nigeria . As a woman, you've the unhinged right to warn your future husband not to pay any bride price . If you want change, the change should start with you. Don't wait for Nigerian men because they'll never abolish it by themselves.

maybe. But that’s not the only reason why. It’s a fundamental ideology ingrained in them from their fetal stages that they can do whatever they want and women should burn for the same offenses. The ones that didn’t pay bride price still can’t understand why they should treat women as themselves.

You surely haven't interacted with a lot of Men (African men as a whole) on this issue.

I repeat, if you ask a typical Nigerian /African man the main reason why they don't want to cook, they don't want to bath kids, they won't do laundry, they beat their wives if caught cheating instead of divorce they'll tell you that they paid bride price and the woman is living under their roof. Well, you're entitled to your opinion.
If you won't agree to this 'I can't /won't force you to agree with me'. I'll only agree that it is faulty upbringing when it comes to beating of wives.

I agree

I doubt that but I still think it should be abolished.


a true women’s advocate would not blame women for situations they have no control over.


The payment of bride price can be stopped by women in many ways I.E protests, revolution and rebellion. Registry marriage doesn't require bride price.
If you say I'm a false/fake advocate of women rights then I'll call you a fake one too because I've seen many posts of you and Bukatyne where you two disgraced the feminism ideology.

That’s how it’s obvious that you don’t live in Nigeria. Millions of Nigerian women toil everyday to bring food to the table and take care of the children. I can’t take anyone seriously who says otherwise. You obviously have not been to the markets, banks, schools, roadsides, farms and motor parks to see women hustling under rain and shine every single day.
Cool
I don’t need your reply, but if you post something that is condescending towards women again, I’ll call you out on it. Maybe I’ll start the post with “dear sir” and end with a “thank you”.

That would be mature, civilized and polite.

Kelvin30286063:


You're right. And to think that the government does not have any measure put in place to protect women is alarming

Protect them from what exactly?

cococandy:

What part of my post is unruly? The part that didn’t agree with you?

irrelevant to the discussion
you obviously don’t

in an ideal world maybe. In another world where she can’t tie the men in both families up and stop them from carrying out their plans, then it’s easier said than done.

maybe. But that’s not the only reason why. It’s a fundamental ideology ingrained in them from their fetal stages that they can do whatever they want and women should burn for the same offenses. The ones that didn’t pay bride price still can’t understand why they should treat women as themselves.


I agree

I doubt that but I still think it should be abolished.


a true women’s advocate would not blame women for situations they have no control over.



That’s how it’s obvious that you don’t live in Nigeria. Millions of Nigerian women toil everyday to bring food to the table and take care of the children. I can’t take anyone seriously who says otherwise. You obviously have not been to the markets, banks, schools, roadsides, farms and motor parks to see women hustling under rain and shine every single day.

I don’t need your reply, but if you post something that is condescending towards women again, I’ll call you out on it. Maybe I’ll start the post with “dear sir” and end with a “thank you”.

That would be mature, civilized and polite.

Shop being belligerent. That guy made lots of sense. I believe men should respect women and I do but it will be wise if men can stop paying bride price and paying all sorts of bills just to marry a woman. Most men believe they have 'bought' their wives and hence can treat her as they like.
We are not saying that the tradition is the women's fault but rather women and feminist group like yours should advocate for the abolishment of this tradition.
In Nigeria, people will trample on you if you are dependent on them for money or favours. That's the way our mind is wired, sadly.

Please move along.

zed7:


Shop being belligerent. That guy made lots of sense. I believe men should respect women and I do but it will be wise if men can stop paying bride price and paying all sorts of bills just to marry a woman. Most men believe they have 'bought' their wives and hence can treat her as they like.
We are not saying that the tradition is the women's fault but rather women and feminist group like yours should advocate for the abolishment of this tradition.
In Nigeria, people will trample on you if you are dependent on them for money or favours. That's the way our mind is wired, sadly.

ImaIma1:


What of in countries and cultures where men do not pay bride price? The domination mentality is still there. It has nothing to do with paying bride and everything to do with male ego and a faulty perception of women due to upbringing or personal experiences.

Men that treat their wives like trash and those that treat their wives like queens both paid bride price.

So if someone wants to use paying bride price as an excuse to treat a woman like an acquisition, it is a personal thing.

In India it is the women that pay dowry to the men and we all know that the women are generally treated like scum. In fact the men sometimes kill the women when the deem that the women and her family haven’t paid enough dowry. Maybe Hanseel1 can explain that to us?

Fact of the matter is, how a man treats a woman depends on indoctrination. A man that respects women is not all of a sudden going to treat her badly because he paid bride price. Likewise a man that has been taught that women are less than him and not worthy of consideration, is not going to treat his wife better just because he didn’t pay bride price.

Case in point is the cases of poor people in Nigeria who move in together and start having kids without a marriage or bride price being paid. We know that a large number of those unions are rife with domestic violence and a whole host of other issues. Why is that Hanseel1?

Some men just want to absolve themselves from all responsibility, they cry about every little thing that sane society requires of them and act as if it is the biggest imposition. These same group of men have been so coddled that they even refuse to take reaponsibility for their own bad acts and will do anything to absolve themselves from liability, including blaming the victim. We have many examples of them here on NL.

cc: Cococandy, Ujujoan

@ phut that’s exactly my point. A true women’s advocate will not blame women for the behaviors of men.

cococandy:
Please move along.

Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Good job Ujujoan, cococandy and the op and any other woman on the thread for defending females.

I don't know why any sane person will open their eyes and decide it is ok to maltreat another human being for life because of bride price of not up to 100,000 naira in some cases. I am just fed up with how majority of men think like sociopaths. The male leaders in The past put up laws regarding paying bride price and now their equally misogynistic descendants are claiming women must abolish those laws they created or face maltreatment. What a bunch of psychos.

And NO, men fighting wars does not grant them any special place in society either because the cause of those wars is usually the same men themselves. You caused those wars so you dam well fight them. Who were you expecting to fight the wars? Is it Innocent women who you endangered their lives with your war or what?

peacengine:
Let's protect our female folks, without them our future generation is gone.

Women don't need protection,
Men need to stop committing violent crimes against women. Stop raping and killing and kidnapping them. They don't need your protection they need men to stop being criminals.

Phut:


In India it is the women that pay dowry to the men and we all know that the women are generally treated like scum. In fact the men sometimes kill the women when the deem that the women and her family haven’t paid enough dowry. Maybe Hanseel1 can explain that to us?

Fact of the matter is, how a man treats a woman depends on indoctrination. A man that respects women is not all of a sudden going to treat her badly because he paid bride price. Likewise a man that has been taught that women are less than him and not worthy of consideration, is not going to treat his wife better just because he didn’t pay bride price.

Case in point is the cases of poor people in Nigeria who move in together and start having kids without a marriage or bride price being paid. We know that a large number of those unions are rife with domestic violence and a whole host of other issues. Why is that Hanseel1?

Some men just want to absolve themselves from all responsibility, they cry about every little thing that sane society requires of them and act as if it is the biggest imposition. These same group of men have been so coddled that they even refuse to take reaponsibility for their own bad acts and will do anything to absolve themselves from liability, including blaming the victim. We have many examples of them here on NL.

cc: Cococandy, Ujujoan

Hanseel1 and Zed7 what do you guys have to say about this?

zed7:

Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Seeking unearned respect and audience is the hallmark of Nigerian trained boys.
I have a right to tell someone to move along if I’m not interested in what they have to say. You’re not special and I don’t have to grant you audience. Don’t catch feelings about it

zed7:

Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Can you stop with the generalizing. How many Nigerian girls have you related with? Is it half of the population of females in the country.

Who made you the manners police anyway?

When people generalize, they sound less than intelligent.

Phut:


In India it is the women that pay dowry to the men and we all know that the women are generally treated like scum. In fact the men sometimes kill the women when the deem that the women and her family haven’t paid enough dowry. Maybe Hanseel1 can explain that to us?

Fact of the matter is, how a man treats a woman depends on indoctrination. A man that respects women is not all of a sudden going to treat her badly because he paid bride price. Likewise a man that has been taught that women are less than him and not worthy of consideration, is not going to treat his wife better just because he didn’t pay bride price.

Case in point is the cases of poor people in Nigeria who move in together and start having kids without a marriage or bride price being paid. We know that a large number of those unions are rife with domestic violence and a whole host of other issues. Why is that Hanseel1?

Some men just want to absolve themselves from all responsibility, they cry about every little thing that sane society requires of them and act as if it is the biggest imposition. These same group of men have been so coddled that they even refuse to take reaponsibility for their own bad acts and will do anything to absolve themselves from liability, including blaming the victim. We have many examples of them here on NL.

cc: Cococandy, Ujujoan

It is these same responsibilities which the society imposed on them alone instead of both genders that is making them to treat their wives like trash.

Also, I never emphasized on India rather I was talking about Nigeria and Africa as a whole.

CHoccolaTE:

Women don't need protection,
Men need to stop committing violent crimes against women. Stop raping and killing and kidnapping them. They don't need your protection they need men to stop being criminals.

Are there no female criminals in every society?

ImaIma1:


Hanseel1 and Zed7 what do you guys have to say about this?

Nothing much. The Indian case is absolutely mentality and faulty upbringing but not so with Africa.
It has to do with bride price, faulty upbringing and dependency in Africa.

CHoccolaTE:
Good job Ujujoan, cococandy and the op and any other woman on the thread for defending females.

I don't know why any sane person will open their eyes and decide it is ok to maltreat another human being for life because of bride price of not up to 100,000 naira in some cases. I am just fed up with how majority of men think like sociopaths. The male leaders in The past put up laws regarding paying bride price and now their equally misogynistic descendants are claiming women must abolish those laws they created or face maltreatment. What a bunch of psychos.

And NO, men fighting wars does not grant them any special place in society either because the cause of those wars is usually the same men themselves. You caused those wars so you dam well fight them. Who were you expecting to fight the wars? Is it Innocent women who you endangered their lives with your war or what?

Queen Victoria started many battles which could've been avoidable just because she wanted to showcase British strength.

In those wars majority of the people deployed were men, if we should use your ideology women are the ones supposed to be deployed since it was a woman who started those wars.

zed7:

Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Please stop with the generalizing. How many Nigerian girls have you related with? Is it half of the population of females in the country.

Who made you the manners police anyway?

When people generalize, they sound less than intelligent.

zed7:

Mannerless. It's part of the problem with Nigerian trained girls, they can't pass a message politely.

Generalizing makes one seem less than intelligent. Try not to do it please.

Hanseel1:


Nothing much. The Indian case is absolutely mentality and faulty upbringing but not so with Africa.
It has to do with bride price, faulty upbringing and dependency in Africa.

You cannot isolate that case.

Paying bride price has nothing to do with maltreatment or owning a woman as property.

A man that is prone to such behaviour will still be that way even if he doesn't pay a dime

Hanseel1:


Nothing much. The Indian case is absolutely mentality and faulty upbringing but not so with Africa.
It has to do with bride price, faulty upbringing and dependency in Africa.

You cannot isolate that case.

Paying bride price has nothing to do with maltreatment or owning a woman as property.

A man that is prone to such behaviour will still be that way even if he doesn't pay a dime

Hanseel1:


Nothing much. The Indian case is absolutely mentality and faulty upbringing but not so with Africa.
It has to do with bride price, faulty upbringing and dependency in Africa.

Nigerian case is also mentality and faulty upbringing.

What would you say about a guy and lady are living together and they have kids but he has not paid her bride price yet he is mistreating her??

Leave bride price alone and focus on the real issue...mentality, ego and upbringing, etc.

ImaIma1:


Nigerian case is also mentality and faulty upbringing.

What would you say about a guy and lady are living together and they have kids but he has not paid her bride price yet he is mistreating her??

Leave bride price alone and focus on the real issue...mentality, ego and upbringing, etc.

You win.

Hanseel1:


It is these same responsibilities which the society imposed on them alone instead of both genders that is making them to treat their wives like trash.

Also, I never emphasized on India rather I was talking about Nigeria and Africa as a whole.

Men have responsibilities, women have responsibilities. Women are the bread winners in a lot of Nigerian families and they do that quietly because they do not want the man to feel emasculated. Traditionally men were to be the providers, women the child bearers, nurturers and keepers of the home. Currently, Women have carry a lot of financial responsibility without men taking up a corresponding amount of child rearing and family chores.
The fact is a lot of men in Nigeria were spoilt in the youth and made to feel special just because of their gender. They were told that the world revolves around them. As some one mentioned in this thread, you will see situations where the little girl is sent on so many chores and errands while the little boy lounges around and these men carry it into adulthood and become a burden.

Everybody know that it’s a mans world and men even throw this fact in women’s faces from time to time. However in spite of all the benefits society bestows, you still see men whining in a very unbecoming manner.
Whining is unbecoming of a man. Now if being a man (with all its attendant benefits in Nigeria) is too much for some guys to handle, they can give up there cojones and let women take over. Don’t cry when we call the shots.

P.S. India’s example was very apropos because it shows a system where the absence of bride price did not improve the plight of women.