Olease i need truthful and unbiased veiws,I've been there twice and it was a bad experience (for both parties).
Now, I'm about to go there again because my father-in-law is sick and I just feel I should be there for him...
I've called to inform them I'm coming and nobody told me not to come but my husband is giving me feelers that they don't think its necessary...

I'm confused if I should go or not.
Note: None invited me ooooooo, I'm going because I feel its proper I visit my father-in-law in this trying moments.

........and it was a bad experience (for both parties)

............what made a bad experience?!

I think your husband is in the best position to advice you what to do. He knows his own family.

I am not sure any anonymous person understands the dynamics of your in-law's family.

Since your husband is telling you that the family believes it is unnecessary, I think you know the answer you seek. I understand you are trying to show care and concern for the ailing man but you can't help those who refuse help.

What you can do is to support in the payment of hospital bills if need be or provide support when they request.

bryanarchie:
but my husband is giving me feelers that they don't think its necessary...

There's your answer.

Thank you all..My husband said its left for me to decide and I know my in-laws are not too happy about my trip (which I totally understand).
I just really want to damn it all and go because my father-in-law has been wonderful to me and I believe I should do this but I'm also scared...
No one has told me not to come there but they've been talking to my husband and he has expressed they are not enthusiastic about me being there...

My father-in-law has been good to me and I want to be there for him. My husband has refused giving me an account number to send money to them and if I ask my father-in-law he will tell me not to bother...

Why not listen to your husband.

You can support with your prayers since finance is not an 'issue' on their part.

I think you should wait till the next time ur husband plans to visit, go together and come back that same day if it's possible.
But I think there is something fishy in this story.
Why would the family think there is no need for you just to come and say hello or check the man? Or do u plan to pack there?

adebayo3449:
I think you should wait till the next time ur husband plans to visit, go together and come back that same day if it's possible.
But I think there is something fishy in this story.
Why would the family think there is no need for you just to come and say hello or check the man? Or do u plan to pack there?

It's a journey of hours, I can't go there and come back the same day.
I'm definitely not packing there...

I have decided to go when I'm wanted.Thank you and God bless

bryanarchie:
I have decided to go when I'm wanted.Thank you and God bless

Just call to talk to the man regularly, and maybe even mention you would have loved to come but your husband said you should hold it off till later.
I say this so the man won't feel any animosity towards you for not visiting, he and his son can settle if he is not happy about that decision.

bryanarchie:
I have decided to go when I'm wanted.Thank you and God bless

I think you should feel free to visit your father inlaw when you want. You are more or less his daughter.

But because of others that might make you uncomfortable, make your visit short...probably don't even sleep over. It is good if it is a kind of visit that you just see him and leave the same day to reduce the awkwardness and issues.

bryanarchie:
Thank you all..My husband said its left for me to decide and I know my in-laws are not too happy about my trip (which I totally understand).
I just really want to damn it all and go because my father-in-law has been wonderful to me and I believe I should do this but I'm also scared...
No one has told me not to come there but they've been talking to my husband and he has expressed they are not enthusiastic about me being there...

My father-in-law has been good to me and I want to be there for him. My husband has refused giving me an account number to send money to them and if I ask my father-in-law he will tell me not to bother...

You are giving us information in bits in each post

The 1st post you said it was bad exprience for both parties we assume you and husband (you let us in dark of the bad exprience you mentioned ) we need to know the bad experience to help us understand eg the family dynamics.

Then on the 2nd post you say you know that your in-laws are not happy about you visiting thats confusing to us then finally you say you understand it why they wouldnt want you to visit

So we dont have a clear pic of the problem you are having with his family or what your husband is having with his family

But in general a clever daughter-in-law leads husband to visits her in -laws its works a good PR for when husband tell his family that it was your idea to visit

The same tactic when visiting your parents husband leads the way and u tell your parents that it was his idea

Its seems like husband is letting you lead, lead him to go and see his sick father, let your good deeds speak for themselve to say you are a good daughter in law. You say the father-in- law has been always good so pay him a visit unless if they said they dont to see you

Ughhhhh, it's the worst experience ever.....i don't want to ever repeat it AGAIN.....ahhhhh