MALICE IN WONDERLAND (Action from Last nite's Episode)


Scene I: Finally, we get some action! These housemates must have thought they’ve come to BB house for some family reunion or JW Convention; holding hands and singing “We are H-A-P-P-Y” around a camp fire like a couple of boozed out Indian Shaman. Someone had to do something and shake that mother up. Who else? Naija boy to the rescue! Over a game of Jackpot and some drinks. Things get heated up between Uti and Yacob. Dudes traded some hard hitting potshots back and forth. Yacob gets all fussy about it and in a classic Uti move; dude climbs the furniture to get in Yacob’s face (talk about putting the “F” in some folks never learn). Housemates move in to separate them.

Scene 2: Enter the Vultures and Hyenas to fight over the scraps.

Code: Got some good quality camera time that he wouldn’t have gotten otherwise thanks to Uti. Gave some good advice to both combatants tho. Seems a genuine nice guy! But nice guys usually don’t finish first.

Hannington: Played the neutral onlooker. Was more interested in rehearsing his “promise ring” giving speech to Sheila. Later backfired on his azz.

Jennifer: MIA as usual. If they took out the real Jen and put a mannequin in her place. Most people won’t notice for 48hours.

Kaone: Hovered around Yacob like a UFO driven by the alien that he is. Later changed into a leathery bikini and bra to do some bushman dance! This dude should be deported to Mars or given his own universe.

Lerato: Her loyalties are clearly with Uti. Did her bit to douse the fire. Drank more than her fair share of liquor while at it. Later reconvened with her underlings to tattle about you know who?

Meryl: Couldn’t be bothered. Bit disappointing thot she was with Naijaboi, later gave a thoroughly chastised-looking Uti a kiss on the cheek saying “Don’t let no one tell you how to be you!” Talk about a lame advice! I guess she’s made for lap dances!

Munya: Make no bones about it. This dude sure has some bones to pick with Uti, hear him “Never argue with a fool cos no one will be able to tell the difference between you” His advice to Yacob (your guess who the “fool” is), nearly made him the victim of a kiss from girlie Yacob who was all buttery with Munya all nite. I guess we might have our first BBA bromance brewing with these two. Watch this space!

Mwisho: BBA Veteran that he is milked the situation by playing both sides. Enjoyed a lot of camera time without offering a single noteworthy advice. Mouthed a lot of alcohol-induced gibberish, the most important being that he’s never lost a fight since the fourth grade. Who cares! He should be in MMA not BBA!

Paloma: Mama Paloma to the rescue! Told Yacob “You don’t know Uti, if you had watched him in BBA3 that is what he does; he will get in your face, bla, bla, bla” Later owned up that much to Uti. Also gave some pretty good advice to Uti, and for her pains got Uti’s nomination strategy offered up on a platter of amala by a clueless Uti.

Sammie: (What did Uti do to this dude anyways?) Camera was all over the place looking for Uncle Sammie to no avail. The only time it found him a dour-looking Sammie surprisingly looking more embittered than Yacob was consoling girlie-man with these words “don’t worry Africa will decide!” Can’t wait for that decision, Uncle Sammie. You might be surprised.

Sheila: Uti’s ride or die chick. Was there for her boi whenever she was not chasing Hanny off her Fanny or gossiping with M and L.

Tatiana: Couldn’t be bothered either way. Has her own battle on her mind. She must be going into fits each time she sees the MLS stars gathered in their usual spot in the garden.

Uti: Homeboy found the chink in Yacob’s armory but instead of milking it for all its worth, let the others take the shine. This guy can’t help himself even if you strung him up by the balls, so Naija peeps get ready to vote your fingers off cos dude is going to come up to that nomination podium quite a number of times. Uti should have just laid back and soaked it in once he noticed his jokes had missed their target. So instead of capitalizing on Yacob’s weakness (his over the top sensitivity about some issues and obvious need for acceptance) he played the Uti card and let others capitalize on his weakness (and again that violent-guy stereotype is out there)

Yacob: This dude reminded me of R Kelly singing “Heaven I need a hug” Heaven! He really needed a hug! LMFAO. Yet dude was boasting about about going mano a mano with Uti. Yacob fight? Didn’t Kevo whip this dude in that mock boxing arena game? I’d rather watch two chickens duke it out than witness Yacob fighting. Stick to what you do best, man! He did really try to manipulate the situation, at least more than Uti. Yacob was practically begging viewers to vote Uti out. Try as he did, his overly-sensitive side stuck out like a sore thumb. Didn’t score with the guys on that one!

Scene 3: Winners and Losers

Queen Hyena: Mama Paloma got the hugest bite off the pickings. Enjoyed quality camera time with both combatants. Got a chance to present a really intelligent side to her persona. Got Uti’s nomination strategy offered up quite easily, without revealing hers. Talk about a coup!

The Vulture King: Cold Code suddenly got all hot at least for one night! Enjoyed some quality camera time with both combatants and got drunk to booth! Nearly blinded me with them shiny 32s.

Starved Hyena: Uti had this and lost it. The only one bold (or silly) enuf to stir shiit up. Got the least morsels off his kill, can you imagine? Besides that Violent guy stereotype won’t do his reformed image any good. Need to do some major repairs within the week, especially at diary sessions.

Starved Vulture: Yacob: This guy lost a wing! Playing cool dude all week, a rather disturbing sensitive side suddenly makes him easy meat.

Winner: MNET and Endemol, this slowly grinding show got a major boost. The ratings must have been up all nite.

Fact: if Uti gets into the bottom two on Sunday, he should at least get the Farm House for his pains. Feeding those chickens will teach him how to handle Yacob in future! (Pun very much intended)

@ Rheinmetal

Another gr8 analysis & Its good to know that naija will not desert its own boy Uti, despite the fact that he's becoming a pin in the ass.

@ Screendiva
Nice break down, keep it rolling,

i really hope they find a way to get through with this incredible task witout gettin hurt cos snakes aren't good creatures to mess with

@ Rheinmetal Jennifer: MIA as usual. If they took out the real Jen and put a mannequin in her place. Most people won’t notice for 48hours.

You got me cracking up with laughter with this analysis. LMFAO.

Good job.

I really don't think that those were poisonous snakes. I highly doubt that BB would risu the HMs lives like that, sn why were they so scared?

@Rheinmetal: lovely analysis!!!! Keep it coming!!!!

@bebe4u, Zizi, thanks.

Zizi, if time and commitments permit, sure why not!

this clown has succeeded in pushing himself down the ladder for the price,


uti


he is just plain childish and BTW whats all this with jacoub forming the vulnerable guy

why dont he stand up and fight!!!


uti get hit everyday with the 419 issue and he stands up with it


he should stop behaving like a sissy

Well, what do we have in there? Lesbian s*ex on International tv. It seems those girls Sheila, Meryl and Tatiana went there with their minds made up that they would have se*x with other females.

What a shame.

@Angelfaith

Thanks a lot!!!!

@Rheinmetal

You really got me LMAO!!! especially with Code trying to blind us all with his 32 teeth all night, the guy suddenly forgot his guitar.

One thing i like about Lerato is that she is never two-faced, whenever she chooses an alliance, she sticks with it. no matter what.
Yeah!!! Paloma took advantage of the situation, some may call her opportunist but she also got Uti to apologise to Yacob.  Sammy, Sammy i just dont get him at all, Who knows about the task given to him by Biggie whether he actually did it? i could not stay up till late to see if he actually had the fake nightmare to earn him some cigarette and chilli.  

Some of today's diary sessions:

LERATO; Informed Biggie that Paloma was being overly dramatic with the task and added that Paloma is an attention seeker, that pretends to suffer pain everytime to get attention from people, she also told Biggie that Yacob is ''CREEPY'' that he tried to smooch her.

YACOB: Informed Biggie that he enjoyed the task greatly and wished he would have taken  photo standing next to the snake, he also added that while he is trying to get along with all the housemates, he found Uti's comment about his ethnicity irritating.

TATIANA: When asked about the relationships in the house, she informed Biggie that she felt the relationships were just too supernatural (too fake) she told biggie about Sheila/Hanny, Sammy/Paloma, she also added that Paloma felt Sammy was not being man enough in his approach to her when asked about her relationship with Sammy. She added that for now Paloma, Jen, Sammy, Code and she are all  together and they mix freely with other housemates that have formed alliance (Lerato, Meryl, Sheila, Hanny & Uti) but from time to time Uti tries to wriggle out of the alliance and mix with other peeps. She further added that she resolved her sleeping arrangement with Sheila, she initially felt Sheila was grabbing a larger portion of her blanket and when she told her about it, Sheila felt Tatiana did not want her to sleep on her bed but last night she told her to come with her own blanket which she did and they slept together on her bed. Even though the Hms have been gossiping that Sheila is a lesbian she does not care!!!! they also see her as a flirt and talk about her sexy nature, this she told Biggie that its in her blood/skin to be sexy and it cannot be taken away from her.

MUNYA: the guy went on and on about some peeps in the house trying to get on others skin, his skin, namely Uti and sometimes Paloma, but he has learned to control himself because when you fight or argue with a fool people will not be able to tell the difference. He also informed Biggie on how hard it is to shower with a beautiful lady and still try to focus and remain calm that it is not easy to be in total control of oneself when in the company of a nude beautiful woman. He admitted  that he loves women a lot, that they are his Cryptonite. hmmmmmmmm

uti cant last in this game hes simply not playing the game with instincts, his diary session today sounded as if he only apologized be cos he was on tv, you dont joke around peoples culture values and religion because this issues are very sensitive, am happy big brother reminded him of the rules and regulation binding the bigbrother house on racism and cultures and also corrected him about talking about other peoples religion and cultures, my vote is going to that bush man from morogoro, mwisho. but for this week i,ll pity him and vote him to stay

Was just watching the diary session, and is as much as i dont support/condone Uti's unnecessary utterances towards Yacob last night but i cant help but notice big brother's unfair, biased indirect judgement(my opinion) at Uti's actions. Her voice tone was so harsh and somehow encouraged Africans who are voting Uti out and gave others who are undecided a reason to. She even didnt ask Uti what he feels about the secret clues they gave the housemates, a question she asked every other housemates. It makes me wonder what she will say to guys like Mwisho and Sammi who have repeatedly call Uti a scammist and Nigeria as a scam country. Anyways am still voting Uti and confident he will survive the eviction. I dont know if anyone noticed it also.

Thought Uti had learnt his lesson after his first but guess he is still the same old piece of noisy jukebox, Let him return home and grow up. He cannot be our true rep.

As for the housemates calling Nigerians scammers, do u really blame them? Na their mouth!

@stankay did you expect biggie to be nice on a very sensitive issues that involves politics culture and religion, it has been stated in the bigbrother
rules not to discuss issues on religion politics and cultures most especially in away that would  hurt other house mates .big brother is watched all over Africa and if she didn't address it like that then viewers would have been offended most especially viewers from the north and east (muslim nations) africa

mwisho and sammy call uti scam and every body knows its a joke(they all laugh around it)uti as well call mwisho a wizard and bushman and they all play about it but am very sure if they speak about naijas politics or values in an offensive manner uti that i know(MR PATRIOTIC) would rant and rave and would even break something to defend himself, so thats it, culture politics and religion are very sensitive issues

the bottom line here is that uti was very very very wrong and biggie corrected him and reminded him of the rules and regulations of the house at this stage i cant even vouch for his stay because he has lost  lots of votes, anyway uti lovers kip voting yr boy to stay

Double standards. If Biggie really did reprimand Uti for his behaviour then it is rampant hypocrisy. In all the 3 previous BBA editions that I have watched I don't think there has been any Nigerian housemate who hasn't had to put up with most of fellow housemates making harsh and insensitive remarks about Nigeria (whether jokingly or serious). We are constantly subject to a barrage of negative comments and stereotypes, but because Nigerians know how to stand up for ourselves and push/fight back nobody sympathizes with us. But as soon as one housemate who went looking for trouble starts acting as if they insulted his country and heritage, everyone now suddenly remembers that it is not funny. Bullshit.

Personally I would never had said the things Uti is reported to have said and don't see it as funny or intelligent to be saying such on live TV. But lets be honest, there is constant mocking of all participating countries going on during the show by respective housemates (Mwisho may even be a worse culprit than Uti). It is unfair to single out only one individual when there are several others who are guilty. If Biggie was really serious and wanted to be fair,  he would warned all the housemates (not just singling out Uti) to desist from insensitive and harsh remarks about other housemates countries. If we were to count the number harsh remarks made about all the respective countries Nigeria would easily come first, yet because Uti didn't go crying like a little girl to mummy like others he is now the only bad guy. Bullshit.

@rhemental kip it up with those analysis   yeah, maybe you should speak with mrs biola alabi (mnet africa md) to open up your own big brother website, you sure can do better than what they give us on mnetafrica/bigbrother and bigbrother.com, kip it up

kay bently:

@stankay did you expect biggie to be nice on a very sensitive issues that involves politics culture and religion, it has been stated in the bigbrother
rules not to discuss issues on religion politics and cultures most especially in away that would  hurt other house mates .big brother is watched all over Africa and if she didn't address it like that then viewers would have been offended most especially viewers from the north and east (muslim nations) africa

mwisho and sammy call uti scam and every body knows its a joke(they all laugh around it)uti as well call mwisho a wizard and bushman and they all play about it but am very sure if they speak about naijas politics or values in an offensive manner uti that i know(MR PATRIOTIC) would rant and rave and would even break something to defend himself, so thats it, culture politics and religion are very sensitive issues

the bottom line here is that uti was very very very wrong and biggie corrected him and reminded him of the rules and regulations of the house at this stage i cant even vouch for his stay because he has lost  lots of votes, anyway uti lovers kip voting yr boy to stay

you're so wrong on that. if you watched last night (or ever), you would have heard the guy when said he NEVER lets negative comments about himelf, his tribe, religion, or country get to him. he also said he would never have joked about such an issue if he knew yakob would take that personally and he apologised, twice. what else do you want? just say you hate the guy.

@Montelik, thanks you've said it all.

@Rheinmetal,
You're cracking me up. . .don't let me get addicted to your write ups o.
Nice one too from Screendiva.

Now the game is just beginning. . .
People are beginning to 'hate' people.

let the games begin. about time too!

@ domniue i dont hate uti am just disappointed over the fact that he had to touch sensitive issues like that , Ethiopians dont play with their culture and religion , am still voting him to stay, funny enough i just voted

one thing you cant take away from uti is that he gives the viewers something to watch


throughout ysdrday nite, the camera was glued to him!!!

how many times has the  camera bin on munya

@ Rheinmetal,

Your commentary pieces are soooooo on point. Really great job with them. They're insightful and funny and all round excellent!!!


As for Uti, his problem is his inability to shut up for a second. He needs to learn to think before he speaks. He can be sooooooo obnoxious. I was cringing with embarrassment because it was so inappropriate that he wouldn't let his joke about Yakob go. And it was the same thing with his defense of Ofunneka the night before. It's like you've stated your point just let it go. But honestly, I doubt Yakob was crying himself to sleep about it, he was just playing the game, and he's sooo transparent. It WAS unfair though of Big Brother to single Uti out to repeat the rules, but hey, Uti put himself in that position. He needs to learn some sensitivity and develop some maturity.

As far as the housemates, obviously I support Uti because he's a Nigerian (although if he wasn't, I would be kind put off). . . but I haven't really picked a favourite. You all seem to like Mwisho. Honestly speaking, I'm not at all a fan of his. . . Something about him is off-putting to me. I'm still trying to find a fave though . . .

kay bently:

@ domniue i dont hate uti am just disappointed over the fact that he had to touch sensitive issues like that , Ethiopians dont play with their culture and religion , am still voting him to stay, funny enough i just voted

Never mind. For now the disgusting Lesb*ian sex*ual act between Meryl and Sheila is covering up the loud mouth Uti's tactlessness

soloqy:

Never mind. For now the disgusting Lesb*ian sex*ual act between Meryl and Sheila is covering up the loud mouth Uti's tactlessness

don't be so sure. a lot of naijaphobic peeps will be watching out for the slightest slip-up from him so that their reasons for disliking him will be justified. the guy can be annoying but he's really likable when he's not talking much.

@tatase
i've also wondered why this mwisho fellow gets so much hype. have yet to get one intelligent conversation from him. all i get from him is drunken slurs. i'll choose sheila and paloma over him anytime anyday.

Never mind. For now the disgusting Lesb*ian sex*ual act between Meryl and Sheila is covering up the loud mouth Uti's tactlessness

Serious? 
When did this happen?

talk about frying pan to fire. big brother moved the camera from talkative avuvusheila to code and sammy trying to make music. mennn i don tire o.

BlueDiva:

Serious? 
When did this happen?

Late late last night(ungodly hours of the morn). Sheila got into bed with Meryl and they covered themselves (but it was very clear where there hands and mouths were going all on each others bodies) After the first session, Meryl got up and went to the bathroom to clean up. Came back, and Sheila was eagerly waiting for them to continue and they did continue. Very irresponsible females those two are.

What would Meryl tell her 8 month kid? That the mum was seen on International tv fingr*ing and licking another woman. And sheila? a confirmed lesbo who i suspect, will bed Tatiana too before the show is over.

soloqy:

Late late last night(ungodly hours of the morn). Sheila got into bed with Meryl and they covered themselves (but it was very clear where there hands and mouths were going all on each others bodies) After the first session, Meryl got up and went to the bathroom to clean up. Came back, and Sheila was eagerly waiting for them to continue and they did continue. Very irresponsible females those two are.

What would Meryl tell her 8 month kid? That the mum was seen on International tv fingr*ing and licking another woman. And sheila? a confirmed lesbo who i suspect, will bed Tatiana too before the show is over.

i noticed this since the inception, especialy Sheila, i dont know why a sexy gurl like her will chose to be a lesbo and an addict smoker, its creepy

[size=13pt]^{Titiana the head of the house. . . . . how ? why and when?? . . . .huh mmm , this is unbelievable !!} [/size]

soloqy:

Late late last night(ungodly hours of the morn). Sheila got into bed with Meryl and they covered themselves (but it was very clear where there hands and mouths were going all on each others bodies) After the first session, Meryl got up and went to the bathroom to clean up. Came back, and Sheila was eagerly waiting for them to continue and they did continue. Very irresponsible females those two are.

What would Meryl tell her 8 month kid? That the mum was seen on International tv fingr*ing and licking another woman. And sheila? a confirmed lesbo who i suspect, will bed Tatiana too before the show is over.

It's crazy really.
When you lock adults up for months, put males and females in the same house and bedroom, expect to see Hot peeps.
I mean, some of these people cannot stay without sexxx in a week.

Which group does sammy's music belongs?That guy shouldn't do that to himself on international tv

BlueDiva:

It's crazy really.
When you lock adults up for months, put males and females in the same house and bedroom, expect to see Hot peeps.
I mean, some of these people cannot stay without sexxx in a week.

This is different. Its only two weeks and these two only met each other in the house. Its so scandalous that even Big Brother is playing hush about it. The only hint they are giving is 'Sheila shares her bed with Meryl'. So even as debased as the whole Big Brother thing is, they are scared silly of the reactions this one can bring again(looking back to the Offuneka thingy). And this is woman on woman we are talking about .