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Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out - Family - Nairaland

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I Have Never Been So Confused! / So Confused Right Now / Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed (2) (3) (4)

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Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 7:29pm On Aug 13, 2018
I am based in the United Kingdom, I normally come to Nigeria a lot. There was a time I travelled down to Lagos and met this guy. I thought he was nice and we began dating. I went to his house, a one bedroom flat which he rented and stayed with his elder brother and friend. I didn’t like his house at all because it was too small so whenever he takes me there, I always wanted to leave back to my house in ajah which was a 3 bedroom apartment. I did notice himself and his elder brother was addicted to naija bet, they hope on winning one day to be a millionaire, he drinks which I thought was normal because a lot of people drink, he would always ask me to lend him 10k naira every now and then, not just lending from me but also from his friends. He lost a few of his friends because he wasn’t able to pay them back, he controlled his friend who stays with him. In short, his friend doesn’t have a job, and his elder bro didn’t have a job too as at then. My own guy was working as a uber and taxify driver paying deliver to the owner of the car. and whenever he got back to his house from work, he would order his friend to always cook for himself and his elder bro to eat. On a normal, I had always rented an apartment on the island, ajah to be precise, i furnished it to my taste and whenever I came to Lagos from uk, I stayed there. I don’t do hotels and whenever I travelled back to uk, I lock the doors up. So I went back to uk, my rent was almost due. My guy advised I don’t pay the rent anymore and that he would move all my things to his house, so I thought it was a good idea. I agreed and sent him money to move all my stuffs to his house. While I was still in uk, we both talked about buying a car for uber and taxify business, I sent money for the car, he bought the car and started working as independent. But ever since my guy started working, he doesn’t save, he makes at least 50k minimum per week and max 120k per week but yet, he never saved a penny. I always advised him to save but he doesn’t listen. Whenever he made money, he would remember there’s something wrong with the car and he spends all his money on the car. So he says. While I was in uk, I always told him that I wouldn’t want to stay alongside his elder bro and friend in a one bedroom flat whenever I come to Nigeria so by the time I got to Nigeria at some point, his elder bro and friend had moved. I always helped this guy every little way I can. Am the type of woman, marriage don’t freak me, am not desperate to marry at all. I have so much passion for my dreams and want to make sure I achieve them soon. My guy would always tell me, if I buy the car for uber business, he would save money and we would get married. I told him I wasn’t in a rush to be married. To the extent, he went to the registry, collected forms etc, he told me he would go to the registry and wait for me and that he would see whether I wouldn’t come and marry him. Lol. At some point, I thought he was really serious and ready to settle down, so I began telling me family members about intro etc etc.... I began planning an introduction, I sent funds for him to book a hall etc.. this guy later came and said to me a celestial church saw a vision that he shouldn’t marry that year. I said okay. I was even kind of happy because I really wasn’t ready, he was pushing me to marry him at all cost. Although I know a lot of guys in Nigeria would want to do the same in the hope that they can travel. I was watching him. My whole family was even advising marrying him was wrong thing to do because he his parents are deceased and he doesn’t mingle with his family members that much except for his elder bro and elder sis. I came to Nigeria in May this year, and guess what my guy got drunk, drove the car and we had an accident where the car somersaulted, we are very lucky to be alive because it wasn’t a small accident. I always warned him about drinking and driving but it seems in Nigeria it’s a normal thing to do. I don’t drive, I would have drove while he was drunk but he drove the car and we had an accident. The car totally wrecked. I didn’t have any money and wasn’t insured so when I got back to uk, I still sent him some money to help him towards fixing the car back. My mum dislikes this guy because she believes he is with me for what he can get from me. So now, my mum would lie against him so that I can leave him and pack my things out of his house, whenever I ask him about what my mum said about him. He would say he didn’t say such. Since I bought the car going to about 8 months, this guy never for once saved, cannot afford to pay his rent, owes so many people money, plays naija bet everyday, when he’s drunk he behaves like a mad dog, he hardly baths, he is dirty. There was a time I even saw a number on his phone, called the number and it was a prostitute. He said it was his friend who used his phone to collect the prostitutes number. As dirty as he is, his armpit hair turns white and stinks like hell. I would push him to paint and re decorate his house to make some areas look decent, I would buy lots of fresh home decor from uk to put in the house etc. I’ve had enough of him now and I have arranged for all my belongings to be packed from his house and leaving him for good because as at yst, he still begged me for 30k after I already transferred 200k to him towards fixing the car he wanted to kill me with. He doesn’t have plans, he always competes with me and my idea which I thought is so annoying for a man to do. He nags too much like a woman. And he doesn’t know more than cook Amala for me. All he’s life, he will eat amala even in his dream. Whenever I came to Nigeria before the accident, he would stop working and sit with me in the house and spends my money, whenever I complain, he would say he doesnt want me to complain he left me at home for work. It is when we are done spending my money, that’s when he would take the car and go to work and still come back saying it was quite and he didn’t make a lot of money. Would you still Continue dating this guy if you were in my shoes?

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Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by dingbang(m): 7:38pm On Aug 13, 2018
At some point I just got tired of reading because I saw hate written allover the write up..

Please can you just do yourself a favor and get yourself another man? We have good guys here on nairaland such as lordsapostle and lefulefu. You can just date anyone of them.

7 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by PamaB(m): 7:40pm On Aug 13, 2018
You've over stayed.....Move on.

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 7:42pm On Aug 13, 2018
What attract you to this smelling guy according to you?

I doubt your story

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by madridguy(m): 7:43pm On Aug 13, 2018
@ OP, from your narration so far, you don't need anyone to tell you the guy in question he's just using you for his personal interest.
I think you've over stayed in the relationship and if you will admit you made a terrible mistake vacating your apartment and move your belongings to his apartment.

If possible, just forget about him and move on.

Parasite opportunist.

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Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by NobleAky(m): 7:43pm On Aug 13, 2018
You owe yourself a real hapiness than this shadowy game! Free yourself from this entanglement and get a serious man for yourself... It's well.

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by OneStep3: 7:45pm On Aug 13, 2018
Why me I no dey get this kind luck!
My dear, you're a money bag, ATM n since naija bet couldn't pay, you decided to pay him.

Congratulations.
I'll advice you maintain the status quo.
Send him more money.
His armpit smells and he's always drunk, yet u were still sending money.
Your people must be proud of you.

U came all the way from UK to date a gambler, while there are responsible men out there. Or have u entered menopause?

I'll gladly refer u to Nwaamaikpe, he might try for the other side in the other room.

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 7:46pm On Aug 13, 2018
dingbang:
At some point I just got tired of reading because I saw hate written allover the write up..

Please can you just do yourself a favor and get yourself another man? We have good guys here on nairaland such as lordsapostle and lefulefu. You can just date anyone of them.
I no want believe this story.. Nigerian girl wey dey UK go dey mumu like this? Abi she be cripple or she be 50 years old womanshocked I no understand

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by bomasek(m): 7:46pm On Aug 13, 2018
U r truly in a hopeless situation, count your losses n move on

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by dingbang(m): 7:53pm On Aug 13, 2018
Oyindidi:
I no want believe this story.. Nigerian girl wey dey UK go dey mumu like this? Abi she be cripple or she be 50 years old womanshocked I no understand
lol. Na love and prick cause am..

4 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 7:57pm On Aug 13, 2018
Oyindidi:
I no want believe this story.. Nigerian girl wey dey UK go dey mumu like this? Abi she be cripple or she be 50 years old womanshocked I no understand
and to worsen everything she came to naija all the way frm the uk to be dating a naija bet addictcheesy. Wetin happen to d medical doctors,lawyers or other guys who are working class. Na man wey dey gamble and wey believe say na thru gambling im go make am in lifecheesy. Abeg comma dey d storycheesy.
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 7:57pm On Aug 13, 2018
Thank you �
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 7:58pm On Aug 13, 2018
Oyindidi:
What attract you to this smelling guy according to you?

I doubt your story
na fake storycheesy
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 7:59pm On Aug 13, 2018
Am not 50 ooo. Lol. 50 ke
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 7:59pm On Aug 13, 2018
dingbang:
lol. Na love and prick cause am..
The way op described this guygrin I no sure say him get functional prick wey go satisfy any girl. grin I dey vex

The guy useless lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 8:00pm On Aug 13, 2018
It’s not fake dear. Trust me, I could go on and on. I just had to stop because nairalanders don’t like long story.
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 8:01pm On Aug 13, 2018
lefulefu:
and to worsen everything she came to naija all the way frm the uk to be dating a naija bet addictcheesy. Wetin happen to d medical doctors,lawyers or other guys who are working class. Na man wey dey gamble and wey believe say na thru gambling im go make am in lifecheesy. Abeg comma dey d storycheesy.
I weak grin I no fit believe this kind story.grin
floshady:
Am not 50 ooo. Lol. 50 ke
Flosh, talk true, this story na true?
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 8:01pm On Aug 13, 2018
dingbang:
At some point I just got tired of reading because I saw hate written allover the write up..

Please can you just do yourself a favor and get yourself another man? We have good guys here on nairaland such as lordsapostle and lefulefu. You can just date anyone of them.
u no jus wish me wellcheesy. Wat of if op is a woman above 70 yrscheesy? Dem tell u say i dey do such racket? Maybe lordapostle fit dey intrested shacheesy.
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by dingbang(m): 8:02pm On Aug 13, 2018
Oyindidi:
The way op described this guygrin I no sure say him get functional prick wey go satisfy any girl. grin I dey vex

The guy useless lipsrsealed
but she dey give am money na...which girl in her right senses will be giving guy money if he no dey give her good prick
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by OneStep3: 8:03pm On Aug 13, 2018
I don't believe this story
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 8:03pm On Aug 13, 2018
dingbang:
but she dey give am money na...which girl in her right senses will be giving guy money if he no dey give her good prick
This one own no fit good... Na fake story sha
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by dingbang(m): 8:03pm On Aug 13, 2018
lefulefu:
u no jus wish me wellcheesy. Wat of if op is a woman above 70 yrscheesy? Dem tell u say i dey do such racket? Maybe lordapostle fit dey intrested shacheesy.
see you.. You no wan jand
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 8:04pm On Aug 13, 2018
floshady:
It’s not fake dear. Trust me, I could go on and on. I just had to stop because nairalanders don’t like long story.
shocked watin attract you to this guy? I'm just curious
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Ifeanyi4491(m): 8:05pm On Aug 13, 2018
I stopped at He said it was his friend who used his phone to collect the prostitutes number. Both the uk lady and guy are somehow funny stewpid.

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 8:05pm On Aug 13, 2018
Oyindidi:
I weak grin I no fit believe this kind story.grin
Flosh, talk true, this story na true?
u don see dose guys wey dey play naija bet b4?cheesy. Dey are always on red bathroom slipperscheesy. I don ask myself wats the connection between red bathroom slippers and gamblingcheesy. Upon all d money dem claim to dey hammer thru naija bet dem go still dey wear one bathroom slippers and three quater jeans wey tear for yansh.gambling na bad spirit i swearcheesy.
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by dingbang(m): 8:06pm On Aug 13, 2018
floshady:
It’s not fake dear. Trust me, I could go on and on. I just had to stop because nairalanders don’t like long story.
but the guy dey give you confirm kerewa abi grin
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 8:07pm On Aug 13, 2018
lefulefu:
u don see dose guys wey dey play naija bet b4?cheesy. Dey are always on red bathroom slipperscheesy. I don ask myself wats the connection between red bathroom slippers and gamblingcheesy. Upon all d money dem claim to dey hammer thru naija bet dem go still dey wear one bathroom slippers and three quater jeans wey tear for yansh.gambling na spirit i swearcheesy.
I never see them before.. grin na broke guys them begrin
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 8:08pm On Aug 13, 2018
Of course now. Why would I want to come on nairaland and talk this a much if it’s not true. And besides, I registered on Nairalande since 2015 or so and this will be my first post in family section. I always went to the property section because am currently on my own buildIng project. And not even 35 years old yet not to talk of 50 or 70. Stop eet already guys.
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Nobody: 8:09pm On Aug 13, 2018
You no serious I swear. Kerewa ko, keresan ni.
Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Oyindidi(f): 8:11pm On Aug 13, 2018
floshady:
Of course now. Why would I want to come on nairaland and talk this a much if it’s not true. And besides, I registered on Nairalande since 2015 or so and this will be my first post in family section. I always went to the property section because am currently on my own buildIng project. And not even 35 years old yet not to talk of 50 or 70. Stop eet already guys.
Okay flosh, move on with your life. You love him?

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out by Orhevus: 8:13pm On Aug 13, 2018
floshady:
I am based in the United Kingdom, I normally come to Nigeria a lot. There was a time I travelled down to Lagos and met this guy. I thought he was nice and we began dating. I went to his house, a one bedroom flat which he rented and stayed with his elder brother and friend. I didn’t like his house at all because it was too small so whenever he takes me there, I always wanted to leave back to my house in ajah which was a 3 bedroom apartment. I did notice himself and his elder brother was addicted to naija bet, they hope on winning one day to be a millionaire, he drinks which I thought was normal because a lot of people drink, he would always ask me to lend him 10k naira every now and then, not just lending from me but also from his friends. He lost a few of his friends because he wasn’t able to pay them back, he controlled his friend who stays with him. In short, his friend doesn’t have a job, and his elder bro didn’t have a job too as at then. My own guy was working as a uber and taxify driver paying deliver to the owner of the car. and whenever he got back to his house from work, he would order his friend to always cook for himself and his elder bro to eat. On a normal, I had always rented an apartment on the island, ajah to be precise, i furnished it to my taste and whenever I came to Lagos from uk, I stayed there. I don’t do hotels and whenever I travelled back to uk, I lock the doors up. So I went back to uk, my rent was almost due. My guy advised I don’t pay the rent anymore and that he would move all my things to his house, so I thought it was a good idea. I agreed and sent him money to move all my stuffs to his house. While I was still in uk, we both talked about buying a car for uber and taxify business, I sent money for the car, he bought the car and started working as independent. But ever since my guy started working, he doesn’t save, he makes at least 50k minimum per week and max 120k per week but yet, he never saved a penny. I always advised him to save but he doesn’t listen. Whenever he made money, he would remember there’s something wrong with the car and he spends all his money on the car. So he says. While I was in uk, I always told him that I wouldn’t want to stay alongside his elder bro and friend in a one bedroom flat whenever I come to Nigeria so by the time I got to Nigeria at some point, his elder bro and friend had moved. I always helped this guy every little way I can. Am the type of woman, marriage don’t freak me, am not desperate to marry at all. I have so much passion for my dreams and want to make sure I achieve them soon. My guy would always tell me, if I buy the car for uber business, he would save money and we would get married. I told him I wasn’t in a rush to be married. To the extent, he went to the registry, collected forms etc, he told me he would go to the registry and wait for me and that he would see whether I wouldn’t come and marry him. Lol. At some point, I thought he was really serious and ready to settle down, so I began telling me family members about intro etc etc.... I began planning an introduction, I sent funds for him to book a hall etc.. this guy later came and said to me a celestial church saw a vision that he shouldn’t marry that year. I said okay. I was even kind of happy because I really wasn’t ready, he was pushing me to marry him at all cost. Although I know a lot of guys in Nigeria would want to do the same in the hope that they can travel. I was watching him. My whole family was even advising marrying him was wrong thing to do because he his parents are deceased and he doesn’t mingle with his family members that much except for his elder bro and elder sis. I came to Nigeria in May this year, and guess what my guy got drunk, drove the car and we had an accident where the car somersaulted, we are very lucky to be alive because it wasn’t a small accident. I always warned him about drinking and driving but it seems in Nigeria it’s a normal thing to do. I don’t drive, I would have drove while he was drunk but he drove the car and we had an accident. The car totally wrecked. I didn’t have any money and wasn’t insured so when I got back to uk, I still sent him some money to help him towards fixing the car back. My mum dislikes this guy because she believes he is with me for what he can get from me. So now, my mum would lie against him so that I can leave him and pack my things out of his house, whenever I ask him about what my mum said about him. He would say he didn’t say such. Since I bought the car going to about 8 months, this guy never for once saved, cannot afford to pay his rent, owes so many people money, plays naija bet everyday, when he’s drunk he behaves like a mad dog, he hardly baths, he is dirty. There was a time I even saw a number on his phone, called the number and it was a prostitute. He said it was his friend who used his phone to collect the prostitutes number. As dirty as he is, his armpit hair turns white and stinks like hell. I would push him to paint and re decorate his house to make some areas look decent, I would buy lots of fresh home decor from uk to put in the house etc. I’ve had enough of him now and I have arranged for all my belongings to be packed from his house and leaving him for good because as at yst, he still begged me for 30k after I already transferred 200k to him towards fixing the car he wanted to kill me with. He doesn’t have plans, he always competes with me and my idea which I thought is so annoying for a man to do. He nags too much like a woman. And he doesn’t know more than cook Amala for me. All he’s life, he will eat amala even in his dream. Whenever I came to Nigeria before the accident, he would stop working and sit with me in the house and spends my money, whenever I complain, he would say he doesnt want me to complain he left me at home for work. It is when we are done spending my money, that’s when he would take the car and go to work and still come back saying it was quite and he didn’t make a lot of money. Would you still Continue dating this guy if you were in my shoes?

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