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Do you have savings?Can you rent at least a self-contained apartment?

MOST importantly,does she work,have a source of income?Is what she earns appreciable?

I think you should give it a shot.Keep hope alive.
Just plan towards holding off pregnancy for a while.

GBAM! I was discussing same topic with one of my lawyer friend yesterday. OP you are a realist

at oops I can relate with your story,my own is that she is doing one petty business like that, infact she is the one doing virtually all the spending in the relationship, giving me the assurance that we will cope,if we got married,but I still insist that iam not tieing the knot,till I attain some level of financial buoyancy, please be real,dont succumb to her rush,if you are ready,then be ready.

thorpido:
Do you have savings?Can you rent at least a self-contained apartment?

MOST importantly,does she work,have a source of income?Is what she earns appreciable?

I think you should give it a shot.Keep hope alive.
Just plan towards holding off pregnancy for a while.

I've savings, enough to have a small wedding and rent an apartment but as they say, no be to marry be the problem, na to sustain the marriage

Folabimi:


I've savings, enough to have a small wedding and rent an apartment but as they say, no be to marry be the problem, na to sustain the marriage

If both of you can agree to a small wedding,then I think it can work.
She has shown she will not put you under financial pressure which is a good thing.
Go ahead with the introduction this december and have hope for next year.There is still time, so see how it pans out.

Op, marrage gives open doors, i dnt knw if u knw. My inlaw is a living example, after there marrage things turned well for them.

A happy mind listens to music.but,a sad mind listens to the lyrics...what to listen,is decided by you...the only mistake,is when you decide a song.whose lyric you can't sing along with.

Brytaboy:
Op, marrage gives open doors, i dnt knw if u knw. My inlaw is a living example, after there marrage things turned well for them.

Don’t listen to this crap

Some will say marry her as she could be the blessing in your life, others will differ and say make it first before putting someone's child in your care.

Its really complicated since we cannot see the future and we are scared of doing things that will make us regret. I hope you make the best decision for you both.

.what can I say.... OP follow your heart



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Brytaboy:
Op, marrage gives open doors, i dnt knw if u knw. My inlaw is a living example, after there marrage things turned well for them.

Lol..
What you see as a blessing to you, make not be a blessing to me..
If you knw, You know!

Folabimi:
I'm in a relationship with this amazing lady. I'm known as nice and easy going person but since I met this lady I've improved in areas of my life which I thought were baggage I will have to carry for life. She makes me want to be a better person while still completely accepting me for who I am.

When I met her, I was not in a rush to get married because I know I am not financially capable yet but the problem now is that marriage is on her top list of priority, she doesn't even mind my financial status. Sometimes, I just feel it because she haven't experience poverty yet since she is from an average family while I belong to below the average background, my experience and my kind of person will not even allow me to take the risk of settling down without knowing in my mind that I can provide the basic needs of my family.

I've potential, lots of it. I'm above average in intelligence. I'm currently working as a contract staff which will soon expire without hope of renewal. My best shot was a financial institution, which I even got to the documentation and medical stage of their recruitment but since then they haven't get in touch with me, I tried contacting them, but no clear response just the 'we will get in touch with you...'. Of what use is what could've been but actually never amounted to anything. Sometimes, I hate myself, cos people expect more from me, to be successful, sigh.

Back to my lady, my love, her family want us to do our introduction at the end of this year and get married next year. If at that time, I still don't have any steady source of income, cos I try business, side hustling too, I will have no choice than to disappoint her. God please don't let that happen.

P.S Just need to say it out. I'm not particularly asking for advice cos I trust nairalanders with different comments and advice. But I dont mind if you have a job offer

eh yaah, in fact, a lot of guys seems to be in your shoe.

Because a guy I barely know who usually see me at a barber shop worked up to me someday and bared his heart to me, I felt bad because I couldn't give him a good job instantly

His story is just like yours. He doesn't want to disappoint his girl who he said is 32yrs and he too 33yra but no good job and no good income and still squatting with a relative, I felt so bad.

My little advice to u; while u apply for jobs, make up yor mind and dive into business with all your energy, it will pay off and if at the end a better job comes and u are more cool with it, u can turn your Biz to a part time one or make your woman the manager while u take up the job.

Honestly speaking, I wont advice u to marry without a stable income even if its 80 - 100k monthly for a start because the present economy of Nigeria and the world at large isn't as friendly as some years back and human demands and needs have quadrupled in our time.

Don't let her push u into marriage unless she can provide enough finance to enable u start a lucrative business or if she can help u secure a nice paid job, if not, pls don't marry her yet cos u may regret it later and it will also make u to hate her later if things turn bad after u guys settle down.

Think wisely and pray too about it with faith.

Wish u the best.

This is why u guys need to come together and vote for me to become the president or even governor, cos if I was, would have given u instant job right away

franchasng:
eh yaah, in fact, a lot of guys seems to be in your shoe.

Because a guy I barely know who usually see me at a barber shop worked up to me someday and bared his heart to me, I felt bad because I couldn't give him a good job instantly

His story is just like yours. He doesn't want to disappoint his girl who he said is 32yrs and he too 33yra but no good job and no good income and still squatting with a relative, I felt so bad.

My little advice to u; while u apply for jobs, make up yor mind and dive into business with all your energy, it will pay off and if at the end a better job comes and u are more cool with it, u can turn your Biz to a part time one or make your woman the manager while u take up the job.

Honestly speaking, I wont advice u to marry without a stable income even if its 80 - 100k monthly for a start because the present economy of Nigeria and the world at large isn't as friendly as some years back and human demands and needs have quadrupled in our time.

Don't let her push u into marriage unless she can provide enough finance to enable u start a lucrative business or if she can help u secure a nice paid job, if not, pls don't marry her yet cos u may regret it later and it will also make u to hate her later if things turn bad after u guys settle down.

Think wisely and pray too about it with faith.

Wish u the best.

This is why u guys need to come together and vote for me to become the president or even governor, cos if I was, would have given u instant job right away

Thanks. You have my vote

I think franchasng has said it all

Mekenz:
at oops I can relate with your story,my own is that she is doing one petty business like that, infact she is the one doing virtually all the spending in the relationship, giving me the assurance that we will cope,if we got married,but I still insist that iam not tieing the knot,till I attain some level of financial buoyancy, please be real,dont succumb to her rush,if you are ready,then be ready.

Mehn, my girlfriend was like that , she just wanted marriage so quick, until i sat her down one evening and talked sense into her head... she saw reasons with me and apologised deeply for being too hasty about the whole thing...
she is an amazing woman, tho not working yet but gives me every motivation i need as a man while she tries her hands on other things too... I love her so much.... I just need an income a little bigger than my present take home....

Wilfredpat22:

Don’t listen to this crap

pls speak so he'd listen.... [quote author=Wilfredpat22 post=70365374]

stubbornman:


Mehn, my girlfriend was like that , she just wanted marriage so quick, until i sat her down one evening and talked sense into her head... she saw reasons with me and apologised deeply for being too hasty about the whole thing...
she is an amazing woman, tho not working yet but gives me every motivation i need as a man while she tries her hands on other things too... I love her so much.... I just need an income a little bigger than my present take home....

lucky you bro
that's what we are saying, a man must always be a man.