I think its really a complicated issue but i am a young confused girl. I wonder why life is this harsh.

If a woman neglects her job all in the name of keepin her home, at a point in time, the husband feels so proud and complain of catering for her and providing her needs.

But if the woman faces her career, it's a different story that she doesnt care about her home.

What's your point of view? Do you think its better to stick to your job so that you can always cater for your self when he's complainig that you are not caring or neglect your job and watch him tongue-lash you in the house?

Am really confused.

You need to balance both honey! I don't like it when a woman sits at home, all in the name of catering for the house.

We all have rights: you have the right to make your own money! What you need is a very understanding man, and wisdom to handle your career and your home.

@hot chic: You should never marry a man that behaves the way you have described.
Instead of marrying such a man, you should just remain single, make money, and adopt a cute orphan.

I don't understand why so many women are ready to sacrifice their potential in order to get a sperm donor.

well hot chic
i think u jus go by wt busygirl said to you, u dont hv to sit at home and let your self be bored to death,
and better still u have to be up and doing about ur home,u jus hv to figure out a way of getting things
balanced,cos i dont fancy a women who jus sit at home and wait for their husbands to do everything for them,
so you try and make thing less stressfull for urself and i bet u'll be so happy
with ur self and your home

Seun:

@hot chic: You should never marry a man that behaves the way you have described.
Instead of marrying such a man, you should just remain single, make money, and adopt a cute orphan.

I don't understand why so many women are ready to sacrifice their potential in order to get a sperm donor.

You're very hilarious when you're not being a tyrant, seun.


YAY FOR CUTE ORPHANS!

Well busy girl has definitely said it all

in my opinion the average wife should have her job and still be able to cater and take care of her home (my mum is my role model), remeber it won't be easy though but with time, it becomes a way of life. We human-beings have the ability to adjust to even the worst situations, not to mention two activities we love so much and wouldn't want to give up for all the money in the world. Most women feel that way about their families and career( the family in my opinion though should be a step more prioritated, that's where you run to when every other thing fails). Don't lack effort in either, since that aspect might start feeling neglected and ignored

This is my point of view below:

Here in Hammerfest most happy wives have the 08am-16pm working shift from mondays to fridays.
While the lady is at work, the kids should be in school, kindergarten, nursery

The nurseries and like usually close the doors at 16.30pm, just in time for the wife to pick up the kids, when she gets home, she prepares dinner for the family and after that maybe they take a nap for an hour or two, then wake up and do some house work or if not have a lovely family evening with movies or any other thing they find interesting.

Some jobs like working in the hospital or some other public places(like restaurants) might require the lady changing shifts,(as in having both day and night shifts), those days when the lady has the evening shifts, it gives her time to do some work around the house while the kids are at school, she could even be able to prepare something for the family before she leaves

on occasions like this, the husband sure can step in and take care of the kids after school, afterall they're his kids too and that's what makes it a partnership, both people fulfilling each other (that in my opinion is what marriage is all about)

During the weekends, the whole family get to spend time with each other, the family can now take care of laundry and some house cleaning, go shopping and the likes

That's why a family now looks forward to vacations, when they get to stay all day long doing nothing, just being with each other

That to me is the happy, healthy, average and modern family life

Both your family and career(job) life are important, you need both to feel fulfilled and alive and any guy that doesn't see that is selfish but with the right guy, your dreams will sure come tru

before you get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a house wife ooh, but both of them(the man and his wife) should be in total agreement

Such things in my opinion are things a couple should discuss before going into marriage to avoid misunderstandings

First of all hotchic, i am really curious to know why you are confused about this issue because your profile says you are 16 years old, or is that wishful thinking?

Anyway, balancing anything in this world is challenging. As a woman, you need to determine what your priorities are - if it is your family then you learn to put that first when you need to make career decisions. My second advice to you would be to marry an understanding husband. With a good man, you can both work out any challenges you have and make it work.

You should be more confused about your high school final exams than how a woman balances married life.

maybe it was a scool project

either way, not evrybody asks a question because they're in the situation but for knowledge

the advice you get today can definitely be your backing rock tomorrow

even if she doesn't need the lecture, i'm sure some other married/single might, and value the opinions

its not everytime its called-for to criticize the author of a thread, cos you never know what thier reasons might be, there can be a 1001 reasons to it

madam nairaland police i don hear.

davidylan:

madam nairaland police i don hear.

wish more citzens would be as obedient as you
anyways but seriously everybody deserves a fair share to offloading what they're curious about, don't you think? _{there is a boundary though because i don't entertain dumb questions}

BTW Davidylan, who won our debate of yesterday?
and i just noticed you forgot to drop your own 2cents to the topc, it will actually mean alot. To the poster for one

I dont know who won the debate o, i think it was a divergence of oppinions that could be welded together to give us a better police force in terms of better equipent and of course "world class" uniforms.

As per the topic. This is no problem at all depending on the type of man you marry. I always suggest something based on my mom's experience, before you marry as a woman lay down your career plans. . . find a man who not only respects those plans but is willing to put in the effort and sacrifice to help you achieve every one of them.

There is nothing bad in a man chipping in to help his wife with the housework, nothing bad in a man who takes his time out to take care of the kids when mommy is not available.

What of a woman who works as a medical doctor, does she drop her career because she needs to take care of her home? Does she neglect her home because she must focus on her job to save lives?

@ davidylan

i totally agree with the "world class" uniform theory

@ to the topic, you spoke well. Happy to see we're on the same page. Marriage sure is a partnership, not an employer-employee affair I guess meeting each other half way will cut the cake and keep the family happy

_{well i guess my police job here is done, got to get moving to somewhere else lol}

see you around hun

Wel, I think it's all understanding btw the couple involved. It's definitely not the best to stay home all day in the name taking care of her family, it could be boring and it's not the best to for a woman to be so money hungry to forget her familly. A job that's not so demanding could do no matter how little the pay is. No matter what, the familly should come first.

as a woman with a career, life is excrutiating.
no one said it wud be easy but you just have to do it all. yep. you run straight from the board room to the kitchen to start dinner still in your heels!
it takes a lot out of you. none has to suffer but succeeding at both entails giving up some hours of sleep.afterall you are first to wake, last to sleep!

didnt know you were married, spoilt

Globally,the world is changing everyday,a woman dis days can go and do evrytin a man does,i no of women dat literally take care of the homes financially and otherwise,the key word is organisation and planning,and of course an understanding husband,with these things combined you will make a perfect home,take que 4rm the virtuous woman. if a woman fails in her key responsibilities which is taking care of the home,she has completely failed but wit a perfect balance it will work out just fine

men marry a teacher no regrets!!!!!!!!! i am going to marry one, too easy to combine for a teacher. 2pm she is in the house with our kids,5 pm i join them,check it out guys.

Nice one, fromuk. marry a teacher

Honestly, used to think like that too. will definately not want to marry a banker or a management consultant, who has to work excruciating hours.

Doctors, civil servants, lecturers, teachers, researchers, are the best people to marry.

Epiphany:

Nice one, fromuk. marry a teacher

Honestly, used to think like that too. will definately not want to marry a banker or a management consultant, who has to work excruciating hours.

Doctors, civil servants, lecturers, teachers, researchers, are the best people to marry.

did you say doctors?

I'd like to marry a businessperson like me. As a businessperson, you can adjust your working hours to suit you.

Marry a medical doctor! Have two kids and take turns taking care of the home front!
That would be the dream marriage.

Marry a teacher ke? She wont have the faintest clue what my job is all about.

davidylan:

Marry a medical doctor! Have two kids and take turns taking care of the home front!
That would be the dream marriage.

Marry a teacher ke? She wont have the faintest clue what my job is all about.

two people with 2 different occupations can make a marriage work. you marry for love not according to profession. as you get to know someone you better understand his or her job and what they do. any by the way, teachers arent that daft! they are often under estimated!

@Spoilt thank you very much for stating exactly what I was about to mentioned.

I will NOT marry someone who does the same job as myself, Talk about monotony, what can we possibly talk about, that we won't already know?

And thanks to teachers, as a result of their imput, there are doctors, lawyers, bankers et al.

PS. The best men to marry are hitmen, they only work on special assignment. Meaning they will be at home most of the time, therefore they will have ample time to help out with the household chores. Well that's after they're done assemblying their latest killing gadgets.

@ neelsel.
ha! thats real funny. a hit man washing plates!
anyway hit men always have a fake job so as not to blow their covers!

@Spoilt, I guess with all this ego running wild, am left with no other alternative. My hitman and I will balance our time effectively so as to ensure that our kids become investment bankers, doctors and and all the other highly prestiged so called careers.

@ Neel talk of Mr & Mrs SMITH

Well Balancing my Home is so Easy---He Knows how 2 cook,I do-He comes Back Home b4 me--he is not jus my Husband but My BetterHalf!

NEEL DNT ASK ME ANYTING

very very amused by seun and leelsels comments, i am a young maried chic who works in a 'new generation bank'' with often crazy hours. i do try to balance work with the house and 'taking care '' of my first child (yours truly). we have no kids yet and are just enjoying ourselves. i think every chic shld work for financial independence and also have some form of monetary contribution to the house. not easy i tell u, but being a housewife, wouldnt think of it

though i need a job with saner hours

i do believe that if you truly have a calling to a profession (no matter how crazy the hours are) you just would be unable to switch professions and do something else.
my friend was born to be a doctor. (some kids just know wht they want to do right from age 5!) well she's a doctor now with crazy shifts. the hours are long and excrutiating.she's always on call. but she could never not be a doctor.
but the key is how you spend the hours you have when not working. when she's outside the hospital, she's home cooking , doesnt go out much and barely answers anyone's calls.she says its time to tackle the home front.
its not easy but what can one do?

davidylan:

Marry a teacher ke? She wont have the faintest clue what my job is all about.

Was it not a "teacher" that "taught" you your job?

Chei! Women na wa!
Before i get verbal burns. . .
It's not a bad idea to marry a teacher, afterall you "marry for love and not for profession".
But! Sometimes it doesnt hurt to consider the place of compatibility in a marriage, love alone is not enough. . . and sometimes that is where profession comes into play. It should not be the primary reason for "falling in love" but it should not be overlooke either.

@davidylan
each to his own. but i was just curious as to why you were certain a teacher wont have a clue about what you do. last time i checked, teachers are very literate and are capable of making good conversation which is the key to communication and understanding.

n.b
no one was trying to verbally burn you. we're just rubbing minds! relax.