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The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by ogtavia(m): 12:45am On Aug 23, 2018
LordKO:


You're wise. The OP and his ilk doesn't seems to understand that there's a difference between sense of responsibility and ego. See them trying so hard to gloss laziness, selfishness, self-centeredness and greediness with garb of equality - nay sharing bills. Volitional and conscientious assumption of responsibility (by both parties) based on individual's immediate capability is a true sign of oneness and validation of equality. Marriage isn't a commercial enterprise where partners shares things based on the size of equity one own/hold. The sacredness of marriage lies in mutual altruism, kindness and sincerity.

If a couple share bills this month - instead of each person making volitional and sincere contribution based on immediate capability - it means that if one of the parties runs out of resources in the future due to unforseen life circumstances, s/he should and would be abandoned. Bumpkins don't seem to understand that loyalty is earned.


The world still sees men as providers so I find it odd for people to equate duty with ego. I shouldn't be applauded for paying my son's school fees or paying the rent.
Problem is there is a lot of silliness happening on social media so much so that many people have gotten marriage, adulthood and correct behaviour twisted.

3 Likes

Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by jojothaiv(m): 1:16am On Aug 23, 2018
Insightful!

My advice to the man in the mirror...

Please handle the heat like hands on trigger!

Vector ft Emmsong Alone

1 Like

Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by jojothaiv(m): 1:22am On Aug 23, 2018
ogtavia:


The world still sees men as providers so I find it odd for people to equate duty with ego. I shouldn't be applauded for paying my son's school fees or paying the rent.
Problem is there is a lot of silliness happening on social media so much so that many people have gotten marriage, adulthood and correct behaviour twisted.




The last paragraph was spot one..


If you don't mind sir, permit me to use it on another forum, due credits will be given.
Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by DonroxyII: 1:59am On Aug 23, 2018
Hanseel1:
A man spends his whole life chasing money, mostly not for his own needs but for that of his immediate family.

The wife works quite alright but there is an unwritten law that says he must provide all her needs because he is a "man", so he saves up and the first car he buys he gives to his wife because "she's a woman, she shouldn't be stressed up" he can still jump buses till he affords to buy another car.

The house rent gets due and he is short of 50k so his wife adds up from her savings and they pay. Two months into the renewal of the rent the wife starts nagging about how she really needs her 50k, there are things she needs to do, most of which are all superfluous. He pays her back her 50k that she contributed to the good of the same family.

His wife isn't very good at driving so he comes home to see she has bashed in the right door of her car. "I'm a little pressed for money dear, I won't be able to fix that anytime soon, do you have some money to spare?" She says she doesn't so the car gets parked for a month or two in which his eardrums were nearly perforated with nagging and complains.

She's pregnant! Yay! the first child is here, it's a girl. That brings it's own responsibilities. The wife's family came to visit to congratulate them and when they leave, another unwritten law says that as a "man" you should give them money for transport

The Man's own family comes too and the same unwritten law is applied.

They get more children and have to move to a bigger house which requires bigger money for rent. And with children expenses don't decrease as they grow older it increases.

One day you wake up and you are 65years old realizing you've done absolutely nothing for yourself as a man but slaved to satisfy others, most of which aren't even grateful for the sacrifice.
Summary of the Life of a Nigerian Man !!
Me , come to enjoy my world oooo .... I ma develop myself very well before marriage ..... no time .... Aint gonna sacrifice my life aspirations for no one .... grin ....

4 Likes

Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by AreaFada2: 2:02am On Aug 23, 2018
Wilfredpat22:
You men are really trying but you guys use women alot. The best thing is to find your footings (financially) before asking any of us out. During your hustle or struggle days don’t be in any serious relationship.

Remember we women have nothing to lose. We got our Poosie to help us in any situation.

May God help you all
Madam in this 21st century when women want to be rightly taken seriously, this state of mind is very unfortunate.

We know that poosie is most lucrative commodity many of our girls have for sale. But OP is referring to marriage if I am not mistaken.

I would have thought marriage is a union in which a man and a woman or women (in polygamy) have decided to come together and form a family. A mutual serious commitment where both parties are prepared to put in their very best to ensure success. Instead of just poosie of sale, to the highest bidder if possible. shocked shocked

Regarding poosie as the tool/commodity for all occasions demeans women, not that some really care as long as it brings the money.

We need to have a "healthier" view of what women represent FROM WOMEN.

1 Like

Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by AreaFada2: 2:07am On Aug 23, 2018
Wilfredpat22:
You men are really trying but you guys use women alot. The best thing is to find your footings (financially) before asking any of us out. During your hustle or struggle days don’t be in any serious relationship.

Remember we women have nothing to lose. We got our Poosie to help us in any situation.

May God help you all
Madam in this 21st century when women want to be rightly taken seriously, this state of mind is very unfortunate.

We know that poosie is the most lucrative commodity many of our girls have for sale. But OP is referring to marriage if I am not mistaken.

I would have thought marriage is a union in which a man and a woman or women (in polygamy) have decided to come together and form a family. A mutual serious commitment where both parties are prepared to put in their very best to ensure success. Instead of just poosie for sale, to the highest bidder if possible. shocked shocked

Regarding poosie as the tool/commodity for all occasions demeans women, not that some really care as long as it brings the money.

Women have a lot too lose my dear. While they chase men who have money, they can easily miss the man who would show them love beyond material goods. Some women become slaves to materialism, get brutalised or abused in loveless relationships they got into for money. Or ending up with a rich guy who has only ever seen her as "poosie, boobs & bum" instead of a complete woman that should be cherished.

We need to have a "healthier" view of what women represent FROM WOMEN.

3 Likes

Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by ogtavia(m): 2:14am On Aug 23, 2018
jojothaiv:
The last paragraph was spot one..


If you don't mind sir, permit me to use it on another forum, due credits will be given.

By all means, go ahead.

1 Like

Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by jojothaiv(m): 2:17am On Aug 23, 2018
ogtavia:

By all means, go ahead.
Thanks a lot.
Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by arrestdarrester: 2:20am On Aug 23, 2018
From the comments you'll already know who is married and who isn't
Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by MONIKERREVEALER: 2:45am On Aug 23, 2018
sins of the fathers to sons.
Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by emperorblog(m): 3:34am On Aug 23, 2018
adamsoghene:
Simple but truthfully. This is the harsh truth but it's happening everyday & most homes are guilty of it. May God help men with wisdom always .
Re: The Many Struggles Of Nigerian Men by Nobody: 3:51am On Aug 23, 2018
Idrismusty97:
Lol there is a word for women like you, They are called prostitutes in other words "Ashawo". Look it up.

That's a guy actually not a lady

2 Likes

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