Episode one
David lay down on the bare floor,his mouth wide open and one of his legs raised up and resting on the wall. Suddenly,a water drop landed directly into his mouth and he woke up and began to cough ceaselessly. Another drop landed on his head and he looked up. It was his leaking roof. He sighed,looked at his watch and rubbed his stomach at the rioting sensation he felt. He quickly dashed to the toilet but quickly turned pale at the long queue he saw waiting in front of the door of the public toilet. He joined the line very pressed
"Mama Bisi,do fast naaa!"Shouted one of the impatient neighbors
"I dey come ooo..."Said the woman inside the toilet. After about 2 minutes,she came out and signaled the next person to go in,then the bomb landed. It sounded like a space shuttle was about to take off and accompanying it the sound of guns and fireworks. Everyone turned at David,the culprit of the dreaded crime
"Wetin?since you keep me here,you no no say I go menss?"He asked frowning. His statement was accompanied by an awful odor which smelt like rotten shit and perfume mixed together. They all covered their nose and the one closest to the door said
"Please,let him in,before we all get poisoned here"he said while they all covered their noses. David went into the toilet and shut the door. It was as if world war III was being fought in the toilet. After about five minutes,David let out a sigh of relief and said"chai!shitting is life"everybody laughed.
After the toilet incident,David went to see his best friends. They were also living in a one room apartment but it was more decent. O,and it wasn't leaking. David shook his friends,Lanre and Felix and greeted them like all guys greeted. After all the greetings,David sat down and asked
"Ah,my niggars,this one una just the shine like this,any hala?"
"Chai!Daveooo my guy,you need to see good news"Lanre said
"Kilode?"David questioned
"Na so I dey goo,I come meet one of my classmate in university. The guy don hamma now. I come ask am wetin be the secret. Him come tell me about"lanre paused and whispered"yahoo yahoo".
David almost jumped out of his seat.
"The guy see he go give us laptop,train us make we start our own"
"Noooo,me I know want that kind of business"david said and lanre and felix looked at each other
"Wetin that one come mean na?"Lanre asked
"Dem no train me like that"david replied. Lanre and felix laughed
"Guy,you dey craze. See ehn,this guy wey I dey tell you about,even sef,if church laugh see am,they go bury am because it die of laughter. But now,even,if Dangote see am,he go bow. See you"
"I know want. Wat if I enter trouble naa?I know want biko,I fit manage"
"Chai!holy david. Well sha,me and felix don make up our minds.if you want,the ehn..offer,still dey"lanre paused"anyway,you go go Jojo wedding tomorrow?"
"Ehen now,I go go,since this week na only garri and salt I dey chop. You no wan make I eat beta rice na anu(meat)?".lanre and felix laughed.
"Davoooo!the number one eater.chai,you dey crazeooo"felix said and the three men laughed.




To be continued...

Please honest criticism is highly appreciated. The story promises to be very interesting and educating. Updates will be coming in time but remember,they will be maintained by your comments oooo

Abeg update before I go finish my popcorn oo

Update o

Episode 2
The next day,the trio attended the wedding held at a nearby catholic church. After borrowing fine clothes that same saturday,they borrowed a car from a friend to make them look like big boys. On sunday,they drove to the church making so much noise and disturbing everyone's peace.
The wedding service was simple and short. However,David slept most of the way. He rarely came to church. He only went there if he was attending an event. Heck!he didn't even know the Lords prayer,a very poor christian indeed.
After the service,they attended the reception at a primary school. It was during the refreshment part of the wedding that they let out the beast in them. Felix ate up to three plates of rice and at least,six bottles of soft drinks. Lanre ate only two plates of rice and fufu with egusi soup which he gulped down with more than seven bottles of alcohol. David was the worst. He ate five plates of rice and three plates of fufu. He drank both soft drink and hard drink and went as far as mixing a bottle of '33'with 'mirinda'
. when a man noticed this massive gluttony,he approached him and tried to caution him but he got a slap in return which almost resulted to a fight. It was just awful...

Episode 2 continues
David was just eating his last plate of rice. He picked up his chicken and was just chewing it when he froze and left it dangling in his mouth. He raised his eyebrows and stared at the angel in front of him.
She was very tall and fair. She had a very round face and a pointed nose. Her eyes were big and innocent looking like a baby's and she had very small lips. She had chubby cheeks with curves to kill for. She was just to much in all directions,goddess of beauty.
Felix noticed his friend in a trance and drooped the bottle in his hand
"Abeg bros,you no wan eat your chicken again?"He asked and streched his hand. David shook his head
"Take am,I don find something better than food"he replied and pointed to the angel.
"Holy Hezekiah!apostles must hear this!!"Felix said and tapped Lanre,who was close to him,resting his head and battling the rioting sensation in his stomach
"Wetin!!"He asked angrily revealing his pure red eyes and miserable face. Felix ignored his angry mood and pointed to the angel. Lanre opened his mouth and released a silent fart.
"Who be that..chai!"He said
"See see see I see this one first so no try put that your chicken blood eyes there"David said
"Thunder ehhh..who tell you say you go get that fine girl?"Lanre asked. David just stood up
"Just cheregodu m first"he sPoke in igbo and stood up trying to make himself look presentable. He then wore a big smile and approached the angel who was with her friends...