You clicked on this post because you are either curious or you really want to deal with a personal issue that this post is poised to handle.

You first decide what you want exactly. As you read, do make sure it means something. Even if it is just out of curiosity.

To the ladies. This thread will give you everything you need to assert yourself. Over the next couple of days.

Are you getting chills? I am.It is going to be pretty exciting

This means you are going to be pretty much ahead of the curve than ever if you  can only implement.






Here goes...


 

Many single ladies spend their entire lives searching for Love, a partner or just good old matrimony because they think these things will make them complete and make for a satisfying existence.

 

Sadly, many ladies never realize their soul's deepest desire.

 
Despite their desire, it is either they are guarded as a result of a past experience or many horror stories from friends, family and social media.

 

They wake up, go to work, have lunch, chat on Whatsapp, pay bills, meet deadlines and convince themselves that they are happy while crying themselves to sleep when they get yet another wedding invitation from a friend's kid sister.

To the warrior vixens on social media but late at night(with their pile of stuffed animals), are in a state of anxiety because of the possibility of clocking 40 and unmarried.

The reality is you can live through your decisions.

 

But there is a way to live free that will shatter your self-imposed boundaries – and experience life. I am not recommending a matchmaking site and I am not going to make you look thirsty and desperate by advising you to ask men out on dates.

 

I will be updating a thread with a new post with each passing day that will cover what I believe are the ways you can win at love if you can only implement every line.

  

 My  big reveal is this:

 

If you are worried about finding love,then you might worry forever because earthly love is self motivated. Many spend  a substantial portion of their time and their lives wishing for Love. They are caught in a trap and also disillusioned when they find out what they thought isn't what it is.

 

Keeping a date with this thread will help you to understand a lot of things about yourself, including your behaviour in past relationships that didn't work out, leading to a pattern which has been difficult for you to break free from.

  
You will discover new ways to how a relationship works(leading to marriage)and how a lot of broken relationships have been hinged on  chance because you went into them, starry eyed. You will also find ways to bring a much greater sense of purpose and meaning to your present relationship, if you are in one.

 

Another world is possible. All it takes is for you to believe.

 

 

 

P.S. By choosing the right path that is a great fit for you and dedicating yourself to the journey, you can prevent years (maybe a lifetime) of disappointment and heartbreak and find deep joy and satisfaction in your relationship.

When a guy is indecisive about you, it simply means he is not sure he wants you for keeps. He wants company or sex but he doesn't want an actual relationship.

You can't make him

How can you possibly hope to please him and make him happy when he is always changing his mind about what he wants!?

If you don't understand how a man's mind works, this can be downright frustrating.

Here's the secret...

Men are drawn to different things in different women.

Sometimes, what he sees in you is  not enough to make him want you for keeps.

Sadly.

You have to be unmoved.

Meaning - don't react to his flaky behavior and mood swings.

Don't be the lady who keeps trying to please him to no end by making constant changes to your personality and appearance just because you want to be called "Mrs *insert goofy surname*

You can't talk people into having what they don't want because their wants are not fueled by reason.

The man has to come to his senses and realize your worth for him to commit

It's actually really easy. Just stay calm and don't take him too seriously.

Or just walk away.

And feel free to reply the posts with your questions and comments.

@ op,there is nothing called LOVE coz most guys are dogs.

There's no manual to keep a relationship.

Op please tell me you are in a successful relationship.

Goodmorning, everyone.Thanks for following.



 Every day , ladies complain about guys and their inconsistencies.

"Men are scum"

"Men only want one thing."

"Men are users"

Here is my response to these complaints:

Nothing you can say will make a man act right.

In fact, you only make it worse because complaining only implies a victim mentality. Do bullies stop bullying weak runts because they whine and complain? Do our leaders stop looting the treasury when we as citizens grumble and insult them on social media? A stone to the forehead was what stopped Goliath from terrorizing the Isrealites.

 

Here's the Problem

Here's the problem most ladies run into:

Once they like a guy, it is all over.
They shut down and let their lives revolve around him. They think they need to express this to him in order to make him stay.  They cater to his whims

WRONG.

Love is psychological.

Women (and men) fall in love due to a psychological process that occurs in our own mind.

Guys don't fall in love because they want to fall in love unlike most ladies who are in love with the idea of falling in love. Love requires a psychological process for it to happen. At first, it is purely novelty for the guys, a new "prospect" means excitement and adventure.

An ego boost.

Have you realized that when you can't stand their indecision and their  attitude and you walk away, they start calling you to make up?

Love for guys is an "accident". No guy sets out in a relationship to "fall in love". It is up to the lady to make it happen. And you have that power but you just don't use it because of a particular behavioural pattern that you can't break out of.

 

Men hate to see that you can live without them.

A lot of ladies don't know who they are and what they want.They are simply going with the guy who pursues the hardest.

They are slaves to their emotions and slaves to popular opinions.

 

He is sending you mixed signals. He us hot today.He is cold tomorrow. He is showering you with gifts today. You don't get a phone call in two weeks straight.

And feel free to reply with your questions and comments.

Good luck!

Thanks for following as usual. I hope you have learnt a thing or two.

Now

On what men want...

They say their wants are simple:Sex, food and more sex.

That is just a tongue in cheek answer to what men really want or just a quip or a one liner. Men want more than just sex and food.Men want to feel powerful, Men want control.They want to rule and dominate.

They want to dominate your mind and your body.

There's a HUGE difference between what men think they need and what they lust after. It leaves the ladies confused about the men because men say they are looking for the "good girl". They eventually find her but they can't make up their minds about committing.

Men want a stable home with a good woman in it.He wants respect and he wants her to be submissive to his will.It is a happy home if she can cater to his whims and listen when he is talking.

On the side,he wants a wanton

Who is a wanton?

A wanton is an uninhibited man eater.She is desired inwardly because she appeals to the primal instincts of the opposite sex but despised outwardly because society disapproves of her ways.

You have been made to subconsciously tailor your life to what the men say they want so you can be "marriageable".It is time to ignore what men say they WANT and instead focus on what they RESPOND to. These are not the same things.

In fact, they are often the exact opposites.

.
The idea of a "good girl" to a guy is simply a lady who lacks the ability to lose her inhibitions , even if she wants to and who practices self restraint.

There are too many ladies in the world but these men can't have them because of...

Women are categorized in aspect of social class, education, personality, exposure, intelligence and sophistication. Based on his capacity, these women pose a challenge to him. Men instinctively look for convenience which means control for them. The "convenient" woman might not be what they really want but they have to settle within their limits as they hope their fortunes might change some day soon so they can have what they REALLY want.

You are either a challenge or convenience. You didn't end up with him by chance.

  

On attraction and how it really works...

"Attraction does not happen the way as you would intuitively expect it. If it did, you wouldn't be single by now. You have been in what seemed to be perfect relationships before only for them to hit the rocks . Times are changing. You've got to let go of the way you think it should work so that you can start acting based on how it really does work."

You must learn to ignore what the men are saying, what society tells you, what the older generation of mothers and wives are saying.

.
And feel free to reply with your questions and comments,

Good luck!

Losing Control

Men don't display affection, let alone love when they are in control. They have no need to. Affection rarely comes with control.

Most alpha males rarely come across females who make them feel like they are losing control. Any woman they want , they get.

 This is where you have to understand that this Love thing is war and you can't keep leaving one bad relationship for a worse relationship.

Love happens when you start to feel like you're losing control.

Love is a word men hate to  ascribe to their feelings because it implies   powerlessness and the fear of losing you.

It is not just the fear of losing you. Kids hate to see other kids playing with their cherished toys. Employers hate to see their best employees being poached by other companies. In the man's case, the fear of losing you implies being possessive and that makes the woman "owned".

The fear of losing you has to come with powerlessness and anxiety. It has to also make him change his ways .

Love begins to bubble to the surface in the absence of control.

But that feeling is one that few women have been able to evoke in their men.

 

Make it happen!

And feel free to reply with your questions and comments

Good luck!

On this soulmate thing.You are not a "soulmate". You just came in to his life when he is emotionally mature, halfway through his life goals, a receding hairline, a company of married buddies , external pressure(self inflicted pressure) and a will to settle down.

Emphasis on "Will"

The man is a product of his experiences, his exes were target practice, a molting personality and an urge to sow wild oats and leave a trail of broken hearts in the process.

You are not his soul mate.

You just had a close shave with the possibility of being collateral damage.

A lot of times,when a man is not ready, then he is not. Accept your loss (and don't be sore about it)and go your way,albeit merrily. Or stay there and be "target practice"..

Why is it so hard for ladies to get out of  borderline emotionally abusive relationships ?

I still say it.

Women would have been the most powerful creatures ever if not for...

Emotions.

Men are quite emotional too..

But we mask that shit.

You think you can change him.

You are afraid to start over again.

That's your maternal instincts talking.

Or maybe its Joyce Meyer

Or Mrs Funke Adejumo.

You think you can quell his rebellion.

You think you can tame him.

Keep playing with hot coals.

Keep wasting precious time.

The smart ladies.The ones rappers like to call "boss bitches" would just go cold turkey on him and stop picking his calls.

You can't force him or coax him or give him an ultimatum to commit to you.

Because you think you have gone too far to turn back now.

Your new prayer point is this: Pray you don't meet a man in his molting phase.He doesn't know what he wants.

A "molter" is a lady's dream.A strapping young buck filled with boundless ambition and a desire for new conquests.

Usually from his early 20s to mid 30s.

Same goes for the female gender.

But society stifles them.

They are tigresses. The Kim Kardashians. The Blac Chynas. Elizabeth Taylor in her prime. They rarely love.They only please their conquests.For money.For pleasure.

For Fame.

For power.

Or something only the devil in his sinister wisdom can explain.

What is this "molting" sef?

Molting is equal to raging hormones

Sex without strings...

Commitmentphobia...

And a redhot desire for new conquests..

Till the day he finds redemption or meets his match in the form of a female version of himself.

Robin Givens in "Boomerang"

Or Cassie in "The Perfect Match"....

So many ladies act as if marriage is all that is to this life.They live and breathe in anticipation of it.

It is a sad way to exist.

If you do nothing else – nothing else! – but eliminate your neediness, your desperation, your insecurity, and your jealousy...you would finally have one meaningful relationship.

A man can spot a desperate lady from a mile away.

Being despate gives room for manipulation.

 

Being a good girl is irrelevant.

Most especially if it is attracting jerks

Guys don't care if you are a good girl or not,especially if they are not ready.

All that matters to him is whether or not you strike a chord in him.

You might be a good girl which means you will make a good wife but...

But in the end, he is going to lust after the wantons and be with the lady who COMPLEMENTS him. A woman who mirrors his desired or perceived status. The female who keeps him wanting more.

.

Attraction is about your personality - how you think and what you do, how you live and who you are.

2nd Half 2019:Why You Never Get Past The Talking Stage


 

 

 

It is impossible to be have a smooth and promising relationship with men if you are stuck in your fear

 

This I believe is the reason why you are in your fourth relationship this year in mid June.

 

You are in the "talking" phase with this seemingly nice guy. Great conversation and equally great manners, charm and compatibility but you have a chip on your shoulder...

 

Instead of enjoying the moment with him and get to evaluate him objectively before you start falling for him, you are lost in your own thoughts and thinking nightmares.

 

Wondering what would happen next.

Self sabotage!!
 

(Maybe he would stop calling and just ghost on you like the ones before.
.

It has happened before with David,  Michael and Henry and it could possibly happen again.

 

 

(Should you just plain ask him what he wants or ask where this is going or....

 

Wondering if he likes you for now.

 

(All of your fears, insecurities, doubts, and anxieties will most likely convince you that he is not what he seems to be.

Men are all the same!!

 

 The first date is the outcome of mutual attraction. You consented to a date because there might be something there. Be calm and relaxed and focused. Enjoy the moment and experience him fully

A relationship has to go beyond mere attraction for it to work and that  your focus must be to look past the fear and "dissect" him.

 Live in the moment and make beautiful memories.

What is the worst that could happen?. Really!!!

What if he stays?

 

This state of mind requires conscious effort.

 

This is the state you should strive to be in when interacting with a new guy.

 
You will exude confidence and you will feel GREAT. You are what a decent, responsible dude would want for keeps

 

And here's the kicker...

 

As you project this reality, many men will bê irresistibly drawn to you.

 
It must go beyond attraction.
 

 

 

 

 

I will appreciate your thoughts and opinions and also questions do you have about this article. Just comment and let me know.

Love Won't Find You If You Continue To Be Passive...




 Men come in varieties. Emotional hangups, personality defects and quirks and so on

It is not you. It is them.
 

Some are nice, annoying, zany, confused, funny, sweet, and fun to be with. Others are high handed, egoistic, can't hold a conversation, etcetera

 

How do you tell who is who? if you are not a psychic? How do you know from the get go who the hell you are dealing with?

Poor you. You would have to stick around and just hope to God, the next charmer is not a sequel to a prior nightmare on Emmy street...well, if your name is Emmy.

The only way to find these things out is by fessing up.

Use your power!!

How sensei?

(I assume you are asking)
 

I assume you already know this man-woman thing is a game.

Only assume good intentions if you are psychic and can see right through a rock.

Just kidding!

It is not enough to have your "shield" up in a social setting. Playing "hard to get" is an old and familiar game.

You lose because you are always on the defensive..

Pick and choose. The one being pursued should decide the actions of the pursuer not the other way round.

Examine and evaluate. They came to you. They shouldn't be telling you what to do.

Have an honest conversation. Stop being coy while he is being slick. Steer the conversation to general subjects and stop making yourself out to be the "hunted".

"What is your name?

Don't say "Why do you want to know my name?

Stop assuming what might not be there.

When a dude is talking to a lady, there may be hundreds of things going through his mind.

 

But you bring that one thing to the forefront even before he does with coy answers

 


Moral of the message: Stop going along for the ride. Stop being an incurable sufferer of masculine whims
 

 

 


 

 

I

 

---

 

 

I
 Love Won't Find You If You Continue To Be Passive...




 Men come in varieties. Emotional hangups, personality defects and quirks and so on

It is not you. It is them.
 

Some are nice, annoying, zany, confused, funny, sweet, and fun to be with. Others are high handed, egoistic, can't hold a conversation, etcetera

 

How do you tell who is who? if you are not a psychic? How do you know from the get go who the hell you are dealing with?

Poor you. You would have to stick around and just hope to God, the next charmer is not a sequel to a prior nightmare on Elm street...well, if your name is Elm.

The only way to find these things out is by fessing up.

Use your power!!

How sensei?

(I assume you are asking)
 

I assume you already know this man-woman thing is a game.

Only assume good intentions if you are psychic and can see right through a rock.

Just kidding!

It is not enough to have your "shield" up in a social setting. Playing "hard to get" is an old and familiar game.

You lose because you are always on the defensive..

Pick and choose. The one being pursued should decide the actions of the pursuer not the other way round.

Examine and evaluate. They came to you. They shouldn't be telling you what to do.

Have an honest conversation. Stop being coy while he is being slick. Steer the conversation to general subjects and stop making yourself out to be the "hunted".

"What is your name?

Don't say "Why do you want to know my name?

Stop assuming what might not be there.

When a dude is talking to a lady, there may be hundreds of things going through his mind.

 

But you bring that one thing to the forefront even before he does with coy answers

 


Moral of the message: Stop going along for the ride. Stop being an incurable sufferer of masculine whims
 

 

 


 

 

 

.

 


 

 

.

People respond more to your appearance and your body language than they do from the actual words coming out of your mouth.

A powersuit and a briefcase on a Monday morning screams " I am a boss. I am not in the mood for games" than a jumpsuit would.

It is a fact that a receptionist will respond differently to the same person dressed differently at two seperate times(and encounters) within the week.
A lady in a revealing outfit or rocking daisy dukes will get more stares and possible catcalls than a lady in a black skirtsuit and Raybans. The latter will possibly be more respected.

It is a reality we hope will change soon.

But in the mean time.
The problem for most women is that they don't know what their self image is and how to project it.  They don't know how to properly convey the message they want to convey.

Hey, miss

You've been lied to.

You have been told for decades that it's the man's place to chase you

It is hard to believe otherwise but...

The times have changed.

I know it may sound hard to believe, because men are supposedly genetically programmed to chase you.


There is no research to back this claim but I can boldly tell you that you have the power to make the final decision.

You have the power of...

CHOICE...

Sexually... emotionally... and every other way she can imagine.

The man chases but you choose him based on your standards.

You will only choose him if he meets your expectations


Now you know....

When a man makes a move on you, there are two possible outcomes, you either reject him or encourage his advances.



PS - Remember – You choose him, not the other way around.

That means every time a man approaches you or CHASE you

You're actually choosing him.

You have heard it many times.

"What do you bring to the table?

Whether it's in dating or marriage, men and women bring a lot of things uniquely to the table that help build one beautiful, whole relationship.

Everyone always writes about what they want in their ideal partner, but how many people actually take the time to list out relationship traits they actually possess and what they would bring to the table



It is time to be assertive about what you bring to the table.

Tired of letting your imagination get the best of you? Then, here is your chance to set things right.

Are you single and genuinely want to "settle down"? This link is for you. Are you lovelorn and about to give up men altogether ?

Is this for you? Absolutely



Click link below



https://paystack.com/pay/forwhomweddingbellswilltoll

Will You Marry For Love Or For Money?


It is age old knowledge that woman are naturally predisposed to marry the richest man she can find

Why does society equate a woman prioritising her lover's financial status with gold digging?

Every woman has her individual desire and wants, sometimes influenced by society, associations and pop culture

But I will say this..

A woman's desire for a rich lover a man is a primal desire like a man going after a woman with humongous backside

It is a base level desire

It’s the most primitive desire of a woman – to choose a man with readily available resources

But is providing financial resources more important than providing emotional availability and companionship?

I am tempted to give an encompassing answer but to each her own. Women are not all the same. There are women out there who have minds of their own.

Anyway, are you tired of letting your imagination get the best of you? Then, here is your chance to set things right.

Are you single and genuinely want to "settle down"? This book is for you. Are you lovelorn and about to give up men altogether ?

Then this guide is for you? Absolutely

Click the link below

https://paystack.com/pay/forwhomweddingbellswilltoll

As a woman, your authenticity is limited because you have to bend to societal rules and patriarchy (which is not really extinct yet) for your goals, behavior yet) and even how you present yourself.

Look in the mirror.

You do what you are told. Go to school. Look and dress a certain way. Get married at a certain age. You have lost touch of who you really are. Maybe it is too late to go on a journey of self discovery or maybe it isn't but most of the time, you get so good at doing the things that are prescribed to you by society that you lose touch with yourself and have forgotten who you really are.

According to societal dictates, the chance of a woman getting married is hinged on her looks, body size and how homely she is. The game depends on how appealing you are to a man. Has the times changed much?Are women regarded and respected for their minds and achievements? Yes, they are but it isn't widespread yet but you can be different...You can change the game.

Say "Amen"

Are you single and genuinely want to "settle down"? This book is for you. Are you lovelorn and about to give up men altogether ?

Then this guide is for you? Absolutely



Click the link below



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oyinatinuke:
@ op,there is nothing called LOVE coz most guys are dogs.

If you list exactly what you want in a man..and God gives u a man like that but need you to make little compromise..you will never agree, you will say he is not the right man and run away...seeking only what you think you wantbfor yourself till u get old and start seekingbhalf the qualities God gaev you before in an old man...

We know you people..vurgina people...confused people!

The movie " Queen & Slim" ends on a very sad note. I had already envisioned their possible escape and safety but it wasn't meant to be . They were shot and killed by the police just as the couple was about to flee on their getaway plane.

If you haven't seen the movie, then I will give you the synopsis. The story is based on a black couple who are on the run after killing a police officer. You need to see the movie to know what led to the "murder".

The man in the photo(who was supposed to help them escape)snitched on Queen and Slim just to get the reward money for their capture. Obviously, there was a manhunt for them but the man wasn’t loyal. He alerted the police and it led to an unexpected anticlimax that really broke our hearts.

You see, everyone suffers at least one really bad betrayal in their lifetime. The Son of God was no exception.

So, how did you manage betrayal from a friend, a family member or a lover?

Have you been able to trust fully and implicitly since then?

Have you gone on to develop deep bonds with other people?

It is natural for people to affirm their distrust in others because of one act of betrayal but we have to be careful about the thoughts we send out to the universe by casting sentiments aside.

We have to process the reality of pain as a result of betrayal. Paranoia impedes spiritual and psychological growth. Trust is the foundational principle that holds all relationships but what happens when you suffer a really bad betrayal that just knocks the wind and the trust out of you?

You see, the ending of "Queen and Slim" reminds me of a grim past. It poked an old wound. I realized that I am still detached but I am rational in my level of trust towards others without highlighting the magnitude of what happened .

Kindness will prevail.


Are you single and genuinely want to "settle down"? This book is for you. Are you lovelorn and about to give up men altogether ?

Then this guide is for you? Absolutely



Click the link below



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Perhaps the greatest craving for men, paying little mind to custom or culture, is opportunity, regard and sexual curiosity

Men comprehend their acknowledgment as validated by the society.

A few men battle for their entire lives for opportunity, and to encounter opportunity.

Typically once they find that feeling of opportunity, they could never release it

Yet, you need responsibility. You need to be the focal point of his reality. A man as of now has such countless duties and commitments so being with you should not feel like a commitment in light of the fact that you trigger enthusiasm when you are together.


A relationship is an association, and responsibility is a two way road. On the off chance that you need somebody to focus on you, ask yourself exactly how much responsibility you've given as a trade off. Come at the situation from your accomplice's perspective and ask yourself exactly what they believe they need to focus on in you, and what responsibility they can expect consequently.

Are you single and genuinely want to "settle down"? This book is for you. Are you lovelorn and about to give up men altogether ?

Then this guide is for you? Absolutely



Click the link below



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You have to admit that the ordinary characteristics that make a lady 'spouse material' or 'marriage' material sound pretty exhausting.



My recommendation:



Try not to intend to be spouse material.



Expect to be in the unrivaled lady class. Since being a spouse is no assurance that he is infatuated with you, is faithful to you, or considers you to be his all in all.



Marriage can be an outer image that you're the all in all, however it is a long way from an assurance.



It is just when you're the unparalleled lady that you can guarantee that all his enthusiastic assets, time and energy are saved distinctly for you.







However, when you're the unparalleled lady, you have the characteristics and the weakness that makes you the sort of lady that men become hopelessly enamored with









Are you single and genuinely want to "settle down"? This book is for you. Are you lovelorn and about to give up men altogether ?

Then this guide is for you? Absolutely



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10 Steps to Becoming Awesome



1) Put Yourself First



2) Be the Best Person Possible

Improve your eating regimen. Exercise. Scale back medications and drinking. Be useful. Learn valuable things. Do not spend money on frivolitieso.

3) Be Present

Learn from your mistakes. Understand that you can not change the past, and there is no assurance that what you do today will shape tomorrow.

4) Be Reliable

Your friends, family and allies should be able to trust you to keep your word.

5) Choose your associations carefully.

Learn to invest your emotional energy wisely. Choose your associations carefully.



6) Treat Everyone the Same – With Respect

Have a similar regard for the individual cleaning your office as you would your best client. At the point when you do this, you put on a show of being more valid.

7) Don't Lie

Being truthful is the most ideal approach.

Be Social

Attempt to take part in friendly exercises with others. Discover something you are keen on and get included. The best speculation you can make in your life in growing your organization.

9) Stop Complaining

In the event that there is a going thing on in your life that you don't care for, make a move to transform it. On the off chance that it's anything but something you can change, figure out how to adapt to it in the most ideal manner you can.

Are You An High Value Woman?





If you want him to think that you are a high value woman...

Then you must be more than just a pretty face and a great body.

Read on


Your attitude should be:

"I am sophisticated, well rounded, charismatic, intelligent, confident, assertive, powerful, passionate and important"

This is how we perceive an high value lady who understands her worth and importance.

I am not going to lead you on or deceive you by telling you that you are high value because I don't know you. You would have to decide what you are but I want to let you know that your "value" is what determines everything that happens to you. From your relationships and your association. It determines the access you have and also how people treat you, both men and women.

Value is the difference in how the First lady of a country or a popular actress or artiste is treated from a local unknown market woman in Oyigbo market.

High value is not the window dressing. A local housewife or a market woman in a business suit and a Cadillac is still a local woman because of her self image

That's why she appears uninteresting and uncouth.

Your appearance can only go so far. How do you sustain the interest of the kind of man you desire as time goes on. Instagram presents a facade to the world. You can easily filter and airbrush your photos to look the part but will people get disappointed when they meet you in person?


High value people will ask for more than window dressing.

We are qualified on our interests, hobbies, goals in life, things she likes to do for fun, etc. Start paying attention to the things that are high value worthy.

I could write a book on how to be regarded as high value because it is a very vast topic but in this context of romantic relationships, you have to understand that people are drawn to people who are like them or person who they aspire to be like.


It is a sunny Saturday afternoon. You are wearing shorts and watching funny videos as you lay on the couch in the living room. You suddenly come across the photo of a really goodlooking fella on Instagram. He is dark skinned like Kofi Siriboe with a full dark beard. He is wearing a dark blue suit as he winks at the camera with a set of perfect teeth.

Well, as expected. You click on his handle to take a look at his page. His posts have tons of comments from hordes of female admirers just lusting over him and calling him "stud", " hunk", "hottie" with heart thumping emojis to boot.

Well, what do you expect?

Well, you are probably thinking you don't stand a chance. You are not in his league as you consider sending him a DM.

What the heck!! You just might. What's the worst that could happen?

You pause for a bit to muster courage. You scroll over his photos again to see him smiling like a Cheshire cat in what looks like a cockpit. Oh, he must be a pilot. He is even dressed like one. Other photos show him beside the Eiffel tower in Paris and some other exotic locations.

At this point, you decide to go back to watching videos. Yes, you have followed him but only to look at his ravishing photos. Oh, he is wearing black briefs in one.

Why didn't you shoot your shot?

It is simply because you felt unworthy. You didn't think he would entertain your advances because of the photos you saw on his page. I absolutely understand. This is why I recommend investment in your self development on the path to being an high value woman.


Have some depth. Read books on emotional intelligence, seize every opportunity to improve yourself. Read to expand your knowledge base. Exude genuine warmth and also value your self esteem. Listen to classical music, jazz and R&B from the 90s and also from the present. Explore horizons. Pick up a new hobby. Get involved in yoga or pole dancing. Eat healthy and also pay attention to your appearance.

You don't have to wear shoes or clothes that cost an arm and a leg just to prove that you are high class
Sometimes, style isn't necessary equated to price. Nobody knows or even cares how much your blouse costs if you are not wearing your price tags.


When you compliment others, they appreciate it greatly because of how they hold you in high esteem.

Men also wonder if they will make a good match for you when they are in your presence.

This paints you as the validator.

You become the source of validation when you are high value.

Now whether or not they are willing to commit to you is a whole different story.

But you set the frame. If he doesn't submit, there is no romance.

A high value lady wouldn't hesitate to DM Kofi Siriboe if he catches her fancy.

In my e-book: "Eyes Wide Shut...Get The Unexpected Answers To Finding And Keeping Love..Only For Single Ladies", i went into details to explain the exact step by step secrets to use to stop men from playing games with you.

You deserve to know what's inside this book.

Because it shows you how to change certain things about yourself if you are unsatisfied with your love life (and making the same old mistakes


(See my profile by clicking my name to see how you can get the e-book).

See my profile for the link to get it


Peace..

Why Men Rarely Ask You Directly For A Relationship


I see this question asked often:

Why won't he ask me directly to be his girlfriend if he's interested?

Often, the presumption is that he doesn't know what he wants or he is trying to make up his mind(commitment phobia).

Well, here is an alternative explanation.

All have always been fair in love and war which simply means there are no rules to this "game" called Love. It sure isn't meant to be a game but a lot of people have an ulterior motive or an hidden agenda. At best, you might simply serve as a reflection of his self image or an extension of his ego so he can't resist the possibility of another opportunity for gratification.


He likes you. He wants you but you are not necessarily "the one" .

Everyone has a timeline for different points in their lives. School, marriage, starting a business. Somehow, he feels that a relationship might be disruptive to his plans so he doesn't ask you directly to be his girlfriend. You are only convenient for sleepovers (and sex appointments) and he wants you to be reasonable enough to accommodate him that way because he is comfortable with the arrangement.

Once you’re hooked, you’ll invest your time and emotions only to realize that you have "just friends" all along. And it's too late, you are hooked and Mr Hotshot isn't considering the possibility of a relationship, let alone "happy ever after" with you.

Secondly, you might not be his type. It happens. We have our specifications and somehow, we haven't met the one that makes us feel like gliding but we meet people who don't fit the description of the ideal mate, especially in the physical department but we date them, regardless because they have other qualities that make up for their lack of sex appeal or something else.


The current society has normalized women "shooting shots" at their desired choice of partner. It is simply making advances at the man. It shows you are assertive and confident. I encourage it too. It's good but be ready to evaluate what really happens afterwards, especially if he doesn't reciprocate your advances. In fact, be glad he rejected you. Look on the bright side. At least, he didn't lead you on.

Most men will encourage flirtation from women because it is a boost to their ego I understand a lot of women hate to be rejected because they have been doing the rejecting almost all their lives, especially in the area of heterosexual relationships and situations.

All I know is that it simply FEELS GOOD when a woman makes it obvious that she likes a man.

Making the first move by the lady is being gradually encouraged in this era. It is no longer a masculine trait but it doesn't guarantee that he will like you back. Men will rarely reject a lady outrightly just like the women would. He will definitely reciprocate your gestures and advances because you have stroked his vanity but understand that you might not fit his ideal description so he will not be motivated to ask you out or ask you to be his girlfriend.



==========


Yes, men should give chase but don't let society foist rules on you that have not been accepted by the majority because of social conditioning. Go at your own pace but don't be in a rush to hop on a bandwagon that does not agree with your values.

Take charge!

You may not necessarily like having to do all the work because he is the man but taking charge is a sign of confidence and feminity in 2022 because it is synonymous to saving your time and not wasting it with yet another perennial bachelor if marriage is in your sights.

Taking charge of the situation is simply defining what you want and letting him know that before it drags on


In my e-book: "Eyes Wide Shut...Get The Unexpected Answers To Finding And Keeping Love..Only For Single Ladies", i went into details to explain the exact step by step secrets to use to stop men from playing games with you.

You deserve to know what's inside this book.

Because it shows you how to change certain things about yourself if you are unsatisfied with your love life (and making the same old mistakes


(See my profile by clicking my name to see how you can get the e-book).

See my profile for the link to get it


Peace..

An Unpopular Reason Reason Why You Haven't Met The Right One

Your logical mind says you want a functional relationship devoid of strife and unhappiness, but sadly, you are not driven by logic because of your emotions.

When your subconscious mind and conscious mind are in alignment, We are magnets for whatever experience you feel we deserve, either positive or negative. The law of attraction pulls people into your life based on your subconscious.



You see, we think millions of thoughts every day, negative or positive, confident or fearful, determined or defeated. These thoughts create a world based on your most dominant thoughts, thereby forming a pattern. There is a constant struggle between your thoughts and your reality when they should align.

You also need to understand that your subconscious often comes from your experience, other people's experiences, seeing your father cheat on your mother so many times, hair salon chatter or ladies night gossip with your girlfriends. These things form the basis of your subconscious and your subconscious determines your reality.

So, you are quick to jump ship, act out or exaggerate his actions or indiscretions because you have internalized the idea that men are unfaithful so you sabotage a beautiful friendship or just nip it in the bud before it becomes significant.



Example:

He does something that upsets you, so you start to focus on how he’s going to leave you or get sick of you or break up with you over qualities then you wonder why your relationships dies after 3-5 months



In my e-book: "Eyes Wide Shut...Get The Unexpected Answers To Finding And Keeping Love..Only For Single Ladies", i went into details to explain the exact step by step secrets to use to stop men from playing games with you.

You deserve to know what's inside this book.

Because it shows you how to change certain things about yourself if you are unsatisfied with your love life (and making the same old mistakes


(See my profile by clicking my name to see how you can get the e-book).

See my profile for the link to get it


Peace..

How To Enjoy Valentine As A Single Lady Without Any Fuss Or Self Pity


lt is Valentine's Day. A pagan holiday if you ask me, but it is a special day dedicated to lovers. A day filled with excitement, joy, and a genuine gratitude for that special someone in your life.



This is a loner's guide for the single and luckless in love. I don't mean to be blatant with my description of the single state of a lot of people but I believe in an actual diagnosis. This piece is for the recently single and the ones who are currently in a failed talking stage, or situationship that turned out to be a no-situationship. Bless you all!!



But before you start moping or feel sorry for yourselves, I want you to know you should be thankful because you are not under pressure or obligated to be in search for a gift that suits "the one".



Single by choice or nah, this short piece will help rid you of the blues today. You just haven't found the right person and that's fine. It can be a celebration of yourself and the people you care about.


While you might be single, that doesn’t mean you only have to spend all of Valentine’s Day at work or at home.

Go out, window shop, sip cocktails, eat pizza...you never know, you just might meet your potential Valentine date for February 14th 2023. Take the time to appreciate the wonderful friendships you have in your life



Reject pity. You are still amazing, regardless. This is not a pep up talk. It's just how I feel . Would you rather be in a relationship going nowhere or would you rather spend time by yourself to still explore and improve yourself rather than be shackled to a narcissist who thinks you should be grateful to have him in your life.



You don’t have to have a partner to be happy on Valentine’s Day besides there is no rule that you have to spend this day with a "lover" of the opposite sex(who you are not related to). It is all about love so you can spend it with mum or a couple of friends or any available ally or comrade so you can form your Lonely Hearts band(just joking).



It is an excessively commercialized super-sexy holiday, so go take advantage of the sales and have fun by yourself or with your girls.



Also, don't try to secure a last minute Valentine moment by replying a DM sent since December 2021. It is plain embarrassing. Everything will be fine as soon as it's 12 midnight and we are all back to reality and gender wars.





It is okay to restrain yourself from scrolling through Instagram today if you can't bear the onslaught of #CoupleGoals pics. Don’t spend too long on social media if images of romantic Valentine’s Day gifts and pictures are going to irk your soul.



No matter what you do, this thread is to make being single and also being in a relationship worth the time and the wait. Sometimes all you need to feel better about being single on Valentine’s Day is reminding yourself just how amazing you are.


In my e-book: "Eyes Wide Shut...Get The Unexpected Answers To Finding And Keeping Love..Only For Single Ladies", i went into details to explain the exact step by step secrets to use to stop men from playing games with you.

You deserve to know what's inside this book.

Because it shows you how to change certain things about yourself if you are unsatisfied with your love life (and making the same old mistakes


(See my profile by clicking my name to see how you can get the e-book).

See my profile for the link to get it


Peace..

The Basis Of A Toxic Relationship



Women are known for ignoring bad treatment when they’ve become attached to a man.You don’t want to ruin what you already have with him because you have invested time and emotions and you think you love him.

Your perspective becomes distorted, the longer you tolerate bad treatment. This happens because you are now emotionally attached. 


The key to making the right choice in a man is two things:

Watch his actions

Don’t deny how his actions make you feel.

Sometimes, you talk yourself into believing he is going to change for the better. All because you are already attached emotionally.

I’m sure lots of women do have their ideal man by their side and are really happy.

Still, when it comes to commitment, you have to evaluate him without any ounce of sentiment. You have to be careful.


In my e-book: "Eyes Wide Shut...Get The Unexpected Answers To Finding And Keeping Love..Only For Single Ladies", i went into details to explain the exact step by step secrets to use to stop men from playing games with you.

You deserve to know what's inside this book.

Because it shows you how to change certain things about yourself if you are unsatisfied with your love life (and making the same old mistakes

See my profile by clicking my name to see how you can get the e-book).

See my profile for the link to get it


Peace..

oyinatinuke:
@ op,there is nothing called LOVE coz most guys are dogs.

Are you a native of Modakeke?

julybaba:

Are you a native of Modakeke?

Yes