In our culture as Nigerians, is it right for it to continue to be wrong for women to ask men out?
who should make the first move in modern Nigeria?

Since you like a girl, you are meant to go for her.. and is not right for a lady to toast a guy... if that what you think.. it will look as if the gurl is kinda cheap

it's soooo not right......it 's going to make the lady in question look like she's desperate....please!!!!!!

the men.

guys should be the one taking the first step.abeg, don't  let your ladies do it..

a guy has to make the first move. thats like seeing a girl propose to a guy( a big no-no, i havent seen such ) so the guy definently gotta make the first move.

i think guys should always make the first moves ye. they should always cum up to gals, talk to them and then ask them out. why should a gal ask a guy out? i dont think there is a reason. And why should boys, i still dont think there is a reason. but wht i would love a guy to do is cum up to me and talk to me.

but.............
in another case, if we were talking bout been in bed, i think women should make the first move. climb on your man . forget u read that.

In our culture. The man makes the move. But the lady can help by giving him signs that, he has the green light to go ahead and ask.

Well anybody can.. but mostly the guyz should

smartsoft:

Well anybody can.. but mostly the guyz should

there goes my African brother.[quote][/quote]

I think our women folks are becoming victims of selective amnesia! When did you all become upholders of our customs? If i can recall, most of our customs require women to kneel when attending to their husbands. How many women recall that tradition?

More talk on a similar topic: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-4118.0.html

its like this year is going to be a duplicate, we are just duplicating and renaming past posts, what a way to go?

really it would really be nice if for once a girl asked a guy out, it is really not a good feeling for a guy to pluck up the courage to ask a girl out, only to be shot down but generly it is guys who have to make the first move.

Todd:

really it would really be nice if for once a girl asked a guy out, it is really not a good feeling for a guy to pluck up the courage to ask a girl out, only to be shot down but generly it is guys who have to make the first move.

You know, this is a good one, I will tell you our experience.
On New year day, we went out to the millenium park in Abuja. There were so many people there and you could hardly find a suitable place to sit. We finally got a hilly place.
As we were sitting and Chatting, My Sister Suggested the girls should harass the guys and toast them or just wave at them and see the response, while the guys amongst us do likewise to the Ladies.

Sweethearts, You will not believe it but ALL the guys we called or waved at responded positively. While the guys were disappointed at their passes.

Ladies, did you say it makes us look desperate? I think the guys are more desperate.
This is with no hard feelings, we are just talking. God knows we will be in trouble that is why He made it the other way round.
The Men should do the Finding.

it would be nice though if the girls started asking the guys, really. Women in America allways wanted more rights, then finaly they got it, so i think that that should make it social acceptible for them to ask guys out. It would also make it easier for guys to get dates. Some guys have just asked one too many girls out, only to be shot down (like myself for example, i tryed to aks this girl out that i really had strong feeling for, only to be shot down, but at least she did it sorta nicely), which makes them loose alot of selfconfidence and to become too shy to ask a girl, even if the girl would be the one. in that case, if the girl knows he wont, or is too shy to ask her out, she should take it upon herself to ask him. i think it should be social acceptable for both sexes to ask the oppsite sex out.

it really doesn't matter if a chick asks a guy out but personally its kind of weird maybe because its not generally accepted but i would really love to get the nerve to ask a guy out maybe sometime in life.but i prefere the guy God made it well that guys should do that.

our beauties............abeg. help our guys most of them suffer in silence in a bid to get the courage to ask a girl out.it's normal 4 a guy to make d first move but pls girls give us the green light cos it takes the two to play the game

Lets still respect d nigerian culture,norms n u know orientation. Guys should ask ladies out but they too can help by giving d green light. but plz girls, dont overdo it or we will take u as a cheap slut

c'mon it's modern times now
i dont' see how a girl could look 'cheap' making the first move, i mean i guess if it's some grotesque pick up line but it's not like it doesn't make guys look cheap if they do that too. plus if i a girl sees a guy somewhere, say at a bar or something and she sent him a drink, how could that be bad? everyone gets rejected anyway no matter what gender
then again a girl proposing, yeah that wouldn't be good but only because i think that's the guys moment and if a guy got proposed too he'd probably just feel robbed of that moment or insecure that they did it first. [/font][/font]

oh well i we are bringing Marrige proposals into this, then hell yeah! guys gotta do that, it is like a discrace to our manhood if the womam got down on her knees and asks it, then i mean that would be weird situation for a dude. it is like a right of passage for a man.

but i would like to see a lady ask a guy out, that would be nice, and if it goes bad, then all the better leason wise. Women should really experence, first hand the pain a guy goes through when they are shot down by a girl that he likes. i think that in modern times, we need more equal societies where it is ok for a girl to do things resereved normaly for a guy (at least in as far as relationship goes). once you experence the hurt oh getting shot down, then you may get a greater respect for the risks that a guy goes through by asking someone out, and if you are giving the signs to a guy you like, and you know he has been shot down a few times, then show you care and help the man out by shouldering a little burden

From the chauvinistic outlook i think men should be the first to make the move.
from a feminist point of view i still think men should make the first move.

from the weak brother who has no game, the woman can do all the asking.
my point is women if u like this gu and he cant seem to come aroud to asking you out, help him out!!!

There's this saying -- "once bitten twice shy." A lot of boys can't act out the role required. I know a certain couple -- before they went out the girl had to help him out along the way. Like

"Hello Susan, um , er, " [the boy]
"You'd like to take me out. When?" [the girl].

a man must make the first move

woman

it will be beta if the gurl make the move first,

Guys shuld mak da first move.Dats we lead and they folow.A girl once me out,wow,da relationship did not last cos i had no feelings 4 her.So guys shuld their job.

The man

Anybody can make a move at anytime cos love is the triumph of imagination over inteligence, ask Juliet why she had to kill herself over a dead Romeo while there are several Living Romeos like me, Anyhow not her Fault, Ask shakespeare LOL

pls,this idea of the guys must make the first mood,i think its not not helping me.There's this guy i really like at my place of work and i think he likes me too but i think he hasn't gathered the nerves to come to me.HEY GUYS,SHUOLD I HELP HIM OUT?at least,we'll start from being friends and later,we mite begin to run things,who knows.

I have to make the first move otherwise na hit and run I go take am do

Well i think its right for both sides to approach each other,
the african tradition stuff is just crap.