Taking care of yourself and conquering your people-pleasing ways doesn’t give you license to stop caring about other people’s feelings — especially your partner’s.

This article first appeared on SHE’SAID’ and has been republished with permission.

Someone once told me she was born knowing exactly who she was, and she’d never had a problem being herself. She said if there was anyone in the world who had a problem with her, that was their issue, not hers. I remember thinking that I’d never been less able to relate to anyone in my life.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been trying to figure out what people want from me, and then doing my best to give it to them. I grew up not knowing who I was, outside of who people told me I was: the perfect daughter my mother always dreamed of, the bratty little sister who made my brother’s life miserable, the straight-A student, the good mom.

The idea of someone not liking me, or thinking I wasn’t a good person, always filled me with panic and shame.

But what was a “good” person, anyway? As far as I could see, it seemed to entail always putting other people first, never speaking up for yourself, and apologizing a lot.

It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that there are people in this world who are so sure of themselves, they don’t care what other people think of them. I’ve spent my life trying to....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/is-your-people-pleasing-personality-killing-your-relationship/

Hmmm