She met a guy and no one shes met has ever appreciated her like that before but she still needed to tell him she cant continue the affair cos she's not feeling him but she can't cos she got pregnant after only few months, she planned to keep the baby but not tell him yet cos he was doing his dissertation, but all this while the guy was pretending, he has a family in nigeria and was just using her while he's doing his masters so one day he told her that he's married so she has to go, she nearly pass out, the next morning she immediately arranged an abortion, i was saddened cos i dont understand why someone will take a life of their child growing inside them, will God ever forgive her? she cried to me that her life is no life for a child as she doesn't have any relative for emotional or financial support in UK, the way he tricked her she already thought he will be there.
I see her act as evil cos the child was few days over two months would you condemn her? cos i have been condemning her and kinda told our third friend who told her back and shes vexed, she sent a text and said "this whole thing is unfortunate and i needed you but you judged me instead, abortion was a dreadful experience for me and i pray for grace to forgive myself cos I know God already has" i started crying like a baby, i dont even know what to write back, what do you think of this and if you fall pregnant would you think of abortion

Like your friend has rightly said. . All she needed was support and not judgement. She told you out of the love and friendship you lot shared. You were selfish and didn't bother to think about her and how she felt. It is diffcult to have a child in the West with no family support and considering the circumstances as well.

Go and make amends with her. Be there for your friend because abortion always leaves a scar deep down inside. She just wants you to be a friend; You don't have to agree with her decision but you can be an shoulder to lean on.

Chaircover and Chika are right. what you did was wrong, so is also your friend. what she needed was a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on in-order to get through the horrible thing she did and not a judge in a disguise as a friend. like Chika said, try to amend with her

chaircover:

@whiteroses this is what real friendship is about. Not to judge but to be supportive. From what you say, the deed was already done, so there is no point "beating" her over it. Real friendship is about sharing and being there during the bad times too.

You said she didn't have anyone else to turn to so she came to you for help and not condemnation but you betrayed that trust by telling a third person.

Its all well and good judging her and telling her not to abort the pregnancy, but as her true friend, how did you help? Did you actually sit down with her and map out ways in which you can both work together with the pregnancy, offer to look up adoption agencies for her, work out ways she can make some extra money to support herself and the baby, help her investigate how she can claim child maintenance from the absent parent etc did you offer to be the babies god-parent, offer to accompany her to all her ante-natal classes & be her birthing partner and so on?

It is indeed a very sad story and your friend has not acted wisely at all and I am sure if she could, she will turn back the hands of time.

Another wake up call for women to stop being so gullible and to think using their heads rather than their heats when dealing with snakes AKA dressed up as men.

I'm sure you did neither of this. I'm sure you didn't even think of HER and what exactly she's going through. She needed you and you turned your back against her. You BETRAYED her TRUST by telling a THIRD PERSON. Who just like you didn't think. I'm not saying all this to make you feel guilty (all right maybe a little guilty). How would you feel if its the other way round? I'm sure your friend will stand by you. Just apologise to her and try to be there for her the best way you can. . . Be not just a friend but a sister, guidan, teacher and possibly a mother. She NEEDS you. Its cannot be over stressed.

chaircover:

@whiteroses this is what real friendship is about. Not to judge but to be supportive. From what you say, the deed was already done, so there is no point "beating" her over it. Real friendship is about  sharing and being there during the bad times too.

You said she didn't have anyone else to turn to so she came to you for help and not condemnation but you betrayed that trust by telling a third person.

Its all well and good judging her and telling her not to abort the pregnancy, but as her true friend, how did you help? Did you actually sit down with her and map out ways in which you can both work together with the pregnancy, offer to look up adoption agencies for her, work out ways she can make some extra money to support herself and the baby, help her investigate how she can claim child maintenance from the absent parent etc did you offer to be the babies god-parent, offer to accompany her to all her ante-natal classes & be her birthing partner and so on?

It is indeed a very sad story and your friend has not acted wisely at all and I am sure if she could, she will turn back the hands of time.

Another wake up call for women to stop being so gullible and to think using their heads rather than their heats when dealing with snakes AKA dressed up as men.

well i feel really bad but everything happened so fast she wasn't patient enough, she did a medical termination apparently within 9 weeks of pregnancy you only needed to take pills for abortion, so while i was struggling to convince her and help she's already gone for first dosage that stopped the baby from growing i was dissapointed thats why i reacted like that.

African_queen:

I'm sure you did neither of this. I'm sure you didn't even think of HER and what exactly she's going through. She needed you and you turned your back against her. You BETRAYED her TRUST by telling a THIRD PERSON. Who just like you didn't think. I'm not saying all this to make you feel guilty (all right maybe a little guilty). How would you feel if its the other way round? I'm sure your friend will stand by you. Just apologise to her and try to be there for her the best way you can. . . Be not just a friend but a sister, guidan, teacher and possibly a mother. She NEEDS you. Its cannot be over stressed.

but i tried tho, we went for the second dose together and she recovered at mines, it wasn't easy, i fed her she puked, i mopped, and it was nightmare for both of us cos she passed the foetus and stuff down her leg on our way to the bathroom i nearly fainted and i couldn't even sleep that night so i guess it was all too much for me. i'll call her and apologize when i can cos we havent spoken

whiteroses:

She met a guy and no one shes met has ever appreciated her like that before but she still needed to tell him she cant continue the affair cos she's not feeling him but she can't cos she got pregnant after only few months, she planned to keep the baby but not tell him yet cos he was doing his dissertation, but all this while the guy was pretending, he has a family in nigeria and was just using her while he's doing his masters so one day he told her that he's married so she has to go, she nearly pass out, the next morning she immediately arranged an abortion, i was saddened cos i dont understand why someone will take a life of their child growing inside them, will God ever forgive her? she cried to me that her life is no life for a child as she doesn't have any relative for emotional or financial support in UK, the way he tricked her she already thought he will be there.
I see her act as evil cos the child was few days over two months would you condemn her? cos i have been condemning her and kinda told our third friend who told her back and shes vexed, she sent a text and said "this whole thing is unfortunate and i needed you but you judged me instead, abortion was a dreadful experience for me and i pray for grace to forgive myself cos I know God already has"  i started crying like a baby, i dont even know what to write back, what do you think of this and if you fall pregnant would you think of abortion

How will you feel if you found yourself in such a situation, confided in a friend and in turn the friend told another friend?

It's not too late to be her friend.Give her your shoulder and be there to hold her hand.
Imagine if it was you who took a decision in your best interest and your friend condemns you for it,how will you feel?

People have different views on abortion and everyone's view has to be respected. I am against abortion and I would not be assisting or escorting anyone to do an abortion. That simply has to be respected by your friend too.
You even went against your own wishes by supporting her even though reluctantly.
I cannot condemn you for discussing this with a third friend. I mean the truth is that most people tend not to be very good at keeping secrets. Anyway it is possible your mutual friend knew about it already.
It has happened so you need to pick up the pieces from there.

whiteroses:

well i feel really bad but everything happened so fast she wasn't patient enough, she did a medical termination apparently within 9 weeks of pregnancy you only needed to take pills for abortion, so while i was struggling to convince her and help she's already gone for first dosage that stopped the baby from growing i was dissapointed thats why i reacted like that.

but i tried tho, we went for the second dose together and she recovered at mines, it wasn't easy, i fed her she puked, i mopped, and it was nightmare for both of us cos she passed the foetus and stuff down her leg on our way to the bathroom i nearly fainted and i couldn't even sleep that night so i guess it was all too much for me. i'll call her and apologize when i can cos we havent spoken

Well as it happens you just have to be there emotionally for her. Abortion is not easy. . .

With friends like you who needs enemies? I think you should apologise. It's simply the right thing to do. Don't expect that you guys could ever be close friends again.

mutter:

People have different views on abortion and everyone's view has to be respected. I am against abortion and I would not be assisting or escorting anyone to do an abortion. That simply has to be respected by your friend too. 
You even went against your own wishes by supporting her even though reluctantly
I cannot condemn you for discussing this with a third friend. I mean the truth is that most people tend not to be very good at keeping secrets. Anyway it is possible your mutual friend knew about it already.
It has happened so you need to pick up the pieces from there.

its not discussing, its gossiping and breaking the trust her friend might have had in her. what exactly did she intend to gain by gossiping about it to her? her friend knew that third friend was there and would have told her if she wanted her to find about it but for whiteroses to gossip about it to her is wrong.  even if she cant keep an ordinary secret knowing how sensitive the issue of abortion is should have given her the idea/manner to respect her friends privacy and choice.

When I was a very young lady (about 21 or so), my best friend had an abortion and I accompanied her to the clinic. Neither of us were born again and I did not think of the procedure as murder. The abortion broke her relationship with the guy and she moved on. Maybe two years later, we both accepted Christ. Though we did not speak on the abortion, I know it caused her much anguish, shame and guilt. She stayed single and celibate for 17 years until God sent her a wonderful loving husband. She only recently talked a small bit about the abortion. I believe it took her years to forgive herself. I know u were traumatised by this too and that u must feel u were a partaker in this but do not blame her because you chose to help her through this. And please remember, you have no idea the depth of suffering shse is going through. I do not mean to sound harsh but please examine your heart in this. Your topic is "What's Your Opinion About My Friend." It appears you are looking for people to condemn her so you won't feel bad for condemning her yourself. When people need to assess and judge others' actions, it is usually because they have undealt with shortcomings yourself. I know you feel bad for your part in this, but blame yourself for your own actions, seek God for your forgiveness in assisting in this grave deed and then your heart will be free to love this friend as she so desperately needs at this time. If you can't do this, please don't matters worse by betraying her trust. If you must talk at all, you can do it on this forum where you are nameless and not with people who share friendship with this girl. She will suffer untold shame from your actions. But most of all, let us remember that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God and let she among us that is without sin cast the first stone.

i read everyones opinion and suggestion in details, well you people are cheeky a lot of bashment there but seriously its helped to revalute (however you spell dat) everything cos i get confused and cant think straight about a situation until i explain to someone, every morning it bugs my mind i just push it aside but i knew i had to deal with it so yeh i will call her and apologize hopefully we'd be friends again.

mutter:

People have different views on abortion and everyone's view has to be respected. I am against abortion and I would not be assisting or escorting anyone to do an abortion. That simply has to be respected by your friend too. 
You even went against your own wishes by supporting her even though reluctantly.
I cannot condemn you for discussing this with a third friend. I mean the truth is that most people tend not to be very good at keeping secrets. Anyway it is possible your mutual friend knew about it already.
It has happened so you need to pick up the pieces from there.

tanks i meant good