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I Made A Mistake For Asking My Wife For An Open Marriage (story For The TL) / I'm Having Sleepless Nights Over A Mistake. What Do I Do / Is My Perception Of marriage Wrong Or Am I Making A Mistake? Advise Me (2) (3) (4)
Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 1:08pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
I live and work in Lagos and I see beautiful women everyday but there is no money, patience nor time to approach let alone marry one but there is this lady I have known for a while who is ready to settle but I do not really think she has the capacity to make me happy in marriage (because I think she’s not my spec). But this lady is the only lady willing to stand by me in this tough moment in my life. I had lived a rough life when things were okay but I never settled but I wanna do it(marriage)now. The issue is that I am scared I am making the wrong choice due to circumstances. But on the flip side, I don’t have the kind of money or patience to deal with the kind of beautiful women I would like to marry. So I am asking married people here for advice on whether I should go ahead or wait to have have the kinda of money it takes to pursue the kinda woman I want. Given the fact that I hate divorce and at the same time wouldn’t want a loveless marriage, I hope I am not about to make a mistake? Please be civil and constructive in making your comments and criticisms. Thanks in advance. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 1:14pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
I see alot of error in your thinking 1. You seem.to think money would give you someone who you would love , maybe but it won't give you someone who would love you 2. It takes alot more than what you call specs ... Which is physical beauty to make a marriage last and work. 3. Marriage is not for everyone with your mind set you will be heading to the divorce court or you would.run out on your family ... Please I beg of.you do not get married, don't make someone's daughter's life miserable... You are not a husband material at.all.. (I say this as a friend who doesn't know you or care about you) 4. I repeat marriage is not for everyone , not everyone should be married and from what you wrote up there judging by how you think, please do not get married. You will only make her life misreable...it seems you think you are doing any woman you marry a favor? Bros please remain single the world.will be better off... We have too many men.like you who got married and turned out to be totally irresponsible hence giving men a bad name... REMAIN SINGLE PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER GET MARRIED YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO BE MARRIED DONT SPOIL SOMEONE'S DAUGHTER'S HAPPINESS PLEASE 45 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Antina(f): 1:32pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
"But this lady is the only lady willing to stand by me in this tough moment in my life" "Given the fact that I hate divorce and don’t trust myself not to misbehave when things start moving again" What advise do you need again? Someone that is willing to stand by you through trying times, still you don't trust yourself when you have money cos u can still misbehave? She is not your type sir! Please don't make the mistake of marrying her. Don't make her life miserable! Most of you guys! Na those Oloshos u dey find, after you will be crying "Girls are hoe" 33 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Nobody: 1:38pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Please don't marry her. Look for your kind. You don't deserve her 17 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Eberechi24(f): 1:41pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
pls leave that beautiful soul alone, you don't Worth her. You will break her and make her bitter eventually if things start moving for you, you will leave her for "your beautiful girls" Stay single. 18 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Nutase: 1:44pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Wisdom brought you here to seek advise and I hope you will have the wisdom to heed to the advice you receive here. 1) Money can buy you a partner of your choice but it doesn't guarantee you her love. 2) Beauty is vain and it fades. 3) Happy marriages don't just happen it takes a lot of conscious effort and work to make it happen and last. 4) Do not marry out of pity or for the wrong reasons but look for someone you can tolerate. 5) That slay queen you are yearning for might be your downfall. 6) Life is full of uncertainties. That fair weather slay queen you're hoping to marry when the going gets good might not be able to stand by you and give you the moral support you would require from a spouse when the going gets tough. 7) Love is a choice and can happen at anytime. It might not be at first sight (which is often infatuation). If you look closely you might find reasons to love anyone. Use your tongue to count your teeth before making that decision. 11 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:03pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: Thank you for responding. But you cannot say I shouldn’t marry. Time is running out and I have to get children within the institution of marriage. I know my mindset is a problem but I am between a rock and a hard place here. I have to make a move since the resources to attract the kind of women I like is not there. I can’t be left hanging. Maybe I would learn to love the woman in question. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:05pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Eberechi24: That’s one thing I would never do: leave my wife for any beautiful woman that didn’t stand by me. I might not express enough love, but I would never leave her. It is my family we are talking about here remember? |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:08pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Antina: I understand and that is why I am seeking advise. I am getting to know her better and striving to be content with what fate has brought me. I can’t remain single for long however. I have to make a move before the end of next year (God preserving my life). Please keep them advice and criticism coming. I really appreciate those who have contributed. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:09pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: If children is your.problem.you can adopt a child.. but I wouldn't subject any woman to the torture of calling you her husband with this mindset It's so unreal and someone with such a warped mindset actually might end up married? Small wonder why divorce rates are so high. 10 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:12pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: I guess I am only being childish with my vain needs but I still have to get married. I can’t on account of my thought process not get married. And when I advocate that I am scared, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t treat her right:she would be my wife for Christ sakes! But I might not be as loving as I would want to. Please get this distinction and keep your comments coming. I really appreciate you all.. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:16pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: Sorry I am coming back to you, don’t you think the bolded verdict is too harsh for a man who admits being attracted by a bit of physical beauty? I have admitted that I might not have what I takes to pursue that hence my resignation to settling down with what is available and willing. I need advice and not condemnation. Thanks once more and keep’ em coming. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:16pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: I still don't understand how someone.with such a warped sense of reasoning will be someone's husband ?? Oh my goodness !! First of all ,let me reiterate! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET MARRIED !!! YOU WANT TO ! STOP ASSUMING YOU HAVE TO ! frankly you are not fit for.marriage yet.. you got a ways to go in the mental.maturity aspect... You don't understand the difference between your wants and your needs You think you will be doing the lady a favor because you married her due to your financial handicapp Her life with you will be only comparable to the most gnarly horror movie ever made You are very immature and unfit for marriage I say again MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE ESPECIALLY NOT YOU 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:18pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: Ok, now you are taking it personal. I knew I would encounter your kind. Thanks for your advice all the same. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:19pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: Truth smarts Meaning truth hurts , but embracing truth sets you free You may see it as harsh condemantion but it is the unedited, unbiased, truth Marriage is not for everyone and certainly not you You will be better off to society single , and you would be happier than to burden yourself with guilt of taking this myopic mindset into marriage and making some lady's life misreable till the point she contemplates suicide Please remain single 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:20pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: It's not personal Come.on grow up.. read.my.comments , there is nothing personal about it I am just being frank 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:20pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:20pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: Ok thanks. Really appreciate your advice. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:21pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
[quote author=resurgent2019 post=71337057] Ok thank. Really appreciate your advice.[/quote You are welcome Please I beg of you with everything you hold holy Do not marry any lady Spare them the torture Please 5 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:21pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: Thank you. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:24pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
[quote author=Shookonekilla post=71337086][/quote] What exactly is your angst with my issue? Millions of Nigerian men are in the same position: they want something better, but the were blessed with the available. I am not against your advice but you make it seem like my issue is unheard of. Maybe you are just trying to say I should apply the breaks on my plans. You certainly can’t mean I should not marry at all! Who I offend na? Thanks all the same. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:25pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: You are welcome But please Make.me one promise For now you will.put this nonsese idea about getting.married out of your head ! Please for now at least You are far from ideal for marriage You are a disaster waiting.to happen A murdered wife A battered wife A crushed heart A suicidal wife All waiting to happen Please leave people's daughters alone please I beg of you 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:25pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Need more advice from others viewing the thread please... |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:26pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: Oga take a chill pill! What’s your problem? What is so wrong in what I have said? It’s not like I said I want kill anybody’s daughter. I came here seeking advice and you have given yours, kindly let others give their’s please. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:28pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: That is what I mean For now do not get married You will drive the lady to commit suicide Or you might wake up and kill her one day Your thought process shows a severely fractured personality devoid of depth As shallow as a sand castle at the beach You are not meant to be married please I beg of.you 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:32pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Shookonekilla: This is way too personal. I would not allow you tempt me to return your insults. You have not abided by my plea for constructive criticisms. Thanks all the same. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Shookonekilla: 2:34pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019: I haven't been mean to you Did you come here seeking the truth or people to pander to your childish whims? Grow up man , you aren't a child 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 2:39pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Nutase: Nice one. Thanks for being civil. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by Chubhie: 3:30pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Find yourself first. Let your goals and milestones be your motivation. Women will come once you are in alignment. This is a gift nature bestows on them to sniff you out. 6 Likes
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Re: Am I making a mistake? by resurgent2019: 3:37pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Chubhie: Hmmmmmmm. God bless you. |
Re: Am I making a mistake? by jideofor1885: 3:41pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
Oga take a chill pill! What’s your problem? What is so wrong in what I have said? It’s not like I said I want kill anybody’s daughter. I came here seeking advice and you have given yours, kindly let others give their’s please. 7 Likes
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Re: Am I making a mistake? by Chubhie: 3:49pm On Sep 19, 2018 |
resurgent2019:Bless you too. |
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