resurgent2019:


I guess I am only being childish with my vain needs but I still have to get married. I can’t on account of my thought process not get married.

And when I advocate that I am scared, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t treat her right:she would be my wife for Christ sakes! But I might not be as loving as I would want to.

Please get this distinction and keep your comments coming.

I really appreciate you all..

Op is so irresponsible. Gettimg married out of desperation just to have kids is such a stupid way to reason. You can never stay in marriage by your write up. Please stay single. You go divorce. There will always be an excuse . You are made for single hood

resurgent2019:


What exactly is your angst with my issue? Millions of Nigerian men are in the same position: they want something better, but the were blessed with the available.

I am not against your advice but you make it seem like my issue is unheard of. Maybe you are just trying to say I should apply the breaks on my plans. You certainly can’t mean I should not marry at all! Who I offend na?

Thanks all the same.

Where are the.millions? You are.on your own and you are a very very bad person. You lack capacity to love to be sincere. Not one woman will ever good enough. I hope r you emain poor because if you get money no lady will be good looking enough. You will keep changing them out of greed.

Chubhie:
Find yourself first. Let your goals and milestones be your motivation. Women will come once you are in alignment. This is a gift nature bestows on them to sniff you out.

Which women will come. This one can never stay married. Did you not read what he wrote and imagine his shallow mindset.

Shookonekilla:


That is what I mean

For now do not get married

You will drive the lady to commit suicide

Or you might wake up and kill her one day

Your thought process shows a severely fractured personality devoid of depth

As shallow as a sand castle at the beach

You are not meant to be married please I beg of.you

Haba!

O ga o!

Take it easy on the young man, he's simply confused. It's better to advise him than condemn him completely.

Op, most times we don't get to marry whom we desire deep down. It's just how life is.

Forget about marrying the kind of lady u desire. Cos they may end up breaking your heart and trust. Try to understand and love this lady coming around u.
These days having a gf or bf who can stand by one through trying times, is a herculean task, in fact its rare.
Today's love and relationships is all man and woman for his or herself.

It's only God that will save the mindset of humans.
Develop love for her, with time u will appreciate her alot .

Mujtahida:

You are the only person who had shown wisdom, tact, truth, sensitivity and sympathetic understanding in offering advice.

The others are typical Nigerian advisers: they'd mix truth with insults, injure you, deride you, judge you and generally put you down. What I detest the most is the judgmental attitude.

The shooku guy was carrying on like a dictator, pressing his words onto the heart of the op, burning him with the 'truth'. It's not for nothing that Paul advised that the truth should be spoken in love because truth spoken without love is like a live electric wire. It shocks, it kills.

Op you deserve worse and harsher words. You are a very wicked person. I key into that Nairalanders prayers. Make aeroplane fall on you or your type coming near my female affiliates. Make train crush them God go crush if you ever marry .

baby124:

Kanwulia welldone. You are advising him to marry someone he is not attracted to when your husband probably married you because of what you look like. Which is probably one of the things that keeps the man married to you.

Poster, please marry who you are attracted to. Marry your spec. You can find your spec now if you have patience. Since you know your weakness try to build strength to avoid cheating when things get better for you. I know people who did not marry their spec and they are MISERABLE! Especially men! Men are visual creatures and at first you may think you can overlook, but when you have to wake to this person for at least 40yrs!!!! After 3yrs you will not want to come home. A lot of women can overlook looks for basic things that can be provided by the man. But men will end up destroying such women because they will eventually cheat and treat her bad.

With the Op's mindset and after leading the innocent lady on. Karma will mostly likely screw him up. He will end up with a woman who doesn't see him as her spec but says yes to him for reasons of greed. That is if he ever makes the money.

resurgent2019:


Oga take a chill pill! What’s your problem?

What is so wrong in what I have said? It’s not like I said I want kill anybody’s daughter. I came here seeking advice and you have given yours, kindly let others give their’s please.

You will definitely cheat on her by the time you get more financially stable.
It's best you tell her point blank now you cannot marry her and quit the relationship so you can go after the women you like.
I would advice you to try and chase such women even without money. You never can say, as you might be lucky to meet one who likes you for you.
However if you chose to marry the poor lady who is not your specs just because you have no money and want children with plans to go after your specs once you hammer, you might just remain poor for life.

Shookonekilla:


If children is your.problem.you can adopt a child.. but I wouldn't subject any woman to the torture of calling you her husband with this mindset

It's so unreal and someone with such a warped mindset actually might end up married? Small wonder why divorce rates are so high.

this thing is complicated madam. If the girl in question was very good looking, there is high chance she won't stick to the OP.

Most marriages and relationships are based on conditional love. Every body wants to give less than they stand to gain or at least equal.

Most of us finally settle with whoever that's available because time is no longer on our side

cruchenutii:


A Girl doesn't have to be a Hoe to be Beautiful. Do you say Yes to every Ugly pot belly looking dude that comes your way, I'm sure not.

She herself that is forming "stand by you through trying times". She knows she has no options prolly because of her average/below average looks. I'm sure she is not Stupid that is why she is willing to settle for less.

Money is not everything at the end, not every lady can marry an Ugly man like Oshomole.

I have seen "ugly" women married to relatively rich handsome guys.
Being ugly doesn't mean you have no options. Not everyone is shallow to be after physical looks. Some men have a deeper connection to some "so called ugly women".
I have seen beautiful women married to poor ugly men. What the OP needs is to go for his specs and find who will accept him the way he is.

Shookonekilla:


I still don't understand how someone.with such a warped sense of reasoning will be someone's husband ??

Oh my goodness !!

First of all ,let me reiterate! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET MARRIED !!! YOU WANT TO ! STOP ASSUMING YOU HAVE TO !

frankly you are not fit for.marriage yet.. you got a ways to go in the mental.maturity aspect...

You don't understand the difference between your wants and your needs

You think you will be doing the lady a favor because you married her due to your financial handicapp

Her life with you will be only comparable to the most gnarly horror movie ever made

You are very immature and unfit for marriage

I say again

MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE ESPECIALLY NOT YOU

madam stop this attack and reason with him. Will you marry a guy that you are not attracted to just because the type u want ain't forthcoming? And even if you do, don't you think you would be tempted to cheat when good looking guys keeps coming Ur way in d future.

Be sincere and stop being emotional about it.

OldBeer:
Father Lord,

I come to you in humility.

May men like the op of this thread never come close to my sisters or female friends.

If they come close may they go blind.

May trailer jam them.

May an aeroplane fall on them.

May the ground open up and swallow them.

Dear Lord, if you want to add your own jara just like you did in the old testament against Pharoah and co, go ahead.

Do this for me Lord and take all the glory.

Amen!!!... funny you though

.I am reading his posts on this thread fèling sick to my stomach..I honestly feel sorry for the poor lady whose life he wants to ruin.

Useless thinking! Your sisters fine? I believed that girl fine pass your sisters! If you maltreat that lady, better thunder wia no get papa and mama go strike u, and u go die, u get low mentality, u r a wicked man for real, after getting what you want, idiot, Na fine girls u want, who no fine? Ur mother fine? U better stay single, demon. So annoying, can ur relatives or ur sisters stay with u.... Leave that innocent lady, pay her off and continue with ur stupid thinking fool. She is not up to ur standard. If i may Ask? Who are you? Who is your father? Tell people about your background first before this ur high class. You are coursed! I pray for you now receive healing. I pity u.