It’s a little bit tricky to navigate communication in the early stages of a potential relationship. You’re still getting to know each other, and that means you don’t always know exactly how to make yourself understood by this new person in your life. The ghosts of dating past can leave you with some hang ups and fears when it comes to talking things out honestly. Like everything else about dating, communication can get complicated.

If you’ve found someone with relationship potential, here’s how to set up healthy communication from the start:

1. Talk about the important things.
This seems like a basic, obvious tip, but so often when we’re caught up in the swirl of new love and feelings and trying to impress this person we’re really into, it can be easy to put the big issues on the back-burner. You may not want to bring up potential points of conflict early on in the relationship, thinking it’s easier to have those wait until you’re feeling more secure. But you can actually build the foundation of a more secure relationship if you talk about these things.

You don’t have to dump all your past trauma on the first date, but you can bring things up in a way that feels natural to you. Talking about where you each stand on important issues can be both helpful and a compatibility test of sorts. Don’t veer away from prickly topics out of fear.

2. Be aware of different communication styles.
There are four main styles of communication: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. You probably aren’t defined by only one of these at all times; we’ve all got a blend of these styles in how we communicate with others. Each of these attribute also comes with their own strengths and weaknesses.

Passive communicators have difficulty communicating their feelings, but they’re also easy to get along with in general. Aggressive communicators are, well, aggressive. That means they can easily brush past someone else’s feelings in order to communicate their own, but it also means they can be good at decisions and leading others. Passive-aggressive communicators are a little bit of both those worlds. Assertive communication is considered the healthiest style of communicating, but it can take some work to get there.
If you’re both honest about where you’re at on your journey to maintaining open, honest communication, you can help each other work on your various goals in this area...Read More