How do you know that the person you met is the right person for you? Is it the things they do or say? Or the way they present themselves? Or do we just take their beauty and then pray that they are the right people?

Can we ever know the right person? When we look around us, we see happy couples or the so called "Happily Married people" but have we visited their lives? do we know if they are happy or not? you really cant tell.

The right person I would say is not always the right person, if we try to be judgemental about it. This is because emotions and feelings would come in, and judgemens through emotions?. How tangible can it be? Normally emotions blind choices or even our decision in life, and how can we know the right person, when choices like falling in love are governed by such factors?

We cannot run away from it, thats why we have fantasy. we always do !!. My recommendations would be explore reasonable things that comes along, but know when its time to leave. You would sure find the guy , that the exit door is just not there. Destiny does have a huge impact on such choices I believe. Do you believe in Destiny? if you do then you do not have a problem . Just play safe I would say.

Knowing the right person? I think the right question should have been "Are you a right person yourelf?"

The law of "like begets like" reveals that we attract people like us into our lifes.

So maybe the examination should be introspective, then we can learn the secret of who you really are, what you want and how to identify it with, when you see it.

I believe in Faith, and keeping faith with your partner will go along way in giving you a real happy life together.

Not all Roses are Red, and life is not a bed of Roses either.

All the best in your Quest!!

It might be difficult for some, but in my own candid opinion, God - who created you - knows who's best for you and knows whom to give you for a partner. You can never know who's best for you, no matter what you do, I tell you.
So why not pray and ask for guidance?

Ok another question. Do you all think that it ok to date many people before you find the right one? Or just find one and hope that one is the one.

Finding or confirming that your partner is the right person is the trickiest thing on earth. It is at the same time very relative. You see, as human beings, the only constant thing in our lives is change. What you fancied or considered the right thing or the right person at a certain age and level pales into insignificance at another. For a jambite (as we call them), the right guy might be any of a lot of guys but as she moves closer to her final days on campus, the story changes entirely. What am I trying to say?

It takes a right person to know who the right person is. Makes any sense? I cannot decide or know my right person even if he sits on my head without me being confident in who I am first and knowing for certain what I desire to see in my ideal guy. Every man/woman who desires meeting and knowing (when they do meet) that this is the right person must first of all mentally (or even physically) draw up the basic qualities and values they want in their partner. For example, do you want a person who is God fearing, someone nice and patient with others as well as you, who cares about the things you care about, someone with the same or even more sense of responsibility, credibility and such things that are important to you? Moving on to the ...well,...vainer side of things, do I want a tall guy (he'd have to be because I'm 5'11'), does he/she have a career he's pursuing, the list is endless really. But one thing I've come to realise over the years is that going out there looking for the right person without being armed with the basic qualities you want in the person when you do find them or they find you, as the case may be, is as good as going on a treasure hunt blindfolded. Whatever your fingers touch will appear to be a treasure even when it's clear to every other clear-sighted person around you that it's nothing but a garbage bin.

Re dating many people before finding the right one, I'ld say some people are lucky first timers. The first person they meet is the right one, my big sister is one of such, verily happily married to her childhood sweetheart for over 8 years now with 3 adorable kids. She was barely 23 when they got married. For others unfortunately, it involves emotional wounds and scares from past relationships gone bad. But if we all know what exactly we want in our partner, even though we are not likely to tick off all the points we want in that right person (for instance, he might be all what you looked out for in a guy but without a dress sense...Help Him!) the good thing about adhering to your list of values and basic qualities is that you know when you meet the wrong person and you save yourself undue stress and months of needless heartache.

Having said all of that however, it's not as easy as it sounds, it boils down to being truthful to yourself and praying to the One who founded the marriage institute to show you your missing rib.

Ra:

Having said all of that however, it's not as easy as it sounds, it boils down to being truthful to yourself and praying to the One who founded the marriage institute to show you your missing rib.

Well said girl!

Appearances they say are deceptive so in knowing who the right person is, you have go down on your knees and ask God for the vision and the foresight in choosing your life partner. And as Ra rightly said, you need to find your missing rib.

I believe that making the right choice in any field of life takes the same process. But I think the problem is that we tend to get foolish when love is involved!

It can take an entrepreneur 2 years to plan the launching of a business (which can be sold off anytime if it's not working). I can take a graduate years to finally find a job worth settling in (and even if you make the wrong choice, you can resign quite easily when you find a better one).

Baased on that observation, one would think that dating/engagement/marriage would be taken with a lot more seriousness (since it is supposed to last 50 - 70 years). One would think people would consult experts and seek knowledge, spend a lot of time evaluating the various options, and stick with the decision once it's made.

Is this how it happens in practice? No. Why not? Because we think love is different.

If I know nothing about marriage or even relationships, I know for certain that no one craves the pain or hurt that inevitably follows a bad marriage or a broken relationship. Silly as it might sound, choosing a partner or matters of the heart are way different from choosing what suit to wear to work or what car to buy next year. Why is it different? If we all knew the answer to that then no one will ever have a sour relationship again. Won’t that just be the perfect world! Experience, they say, is the best teacher and it's been proven time and again relationship wise. The major prayer is never to get into the wrong hands or to court the wrong woman. A typical instance, a legal career is a legal career. I did not start off Law Classes in UI under the false impression that I would graduate as a medical doctor. That's the difference. Practical, daily issues will not present themselves to be what they are not. Men and women world over however, are not as simple and uncomplicated.

Hello,

I am a new member in this blog and I hope my stay here would be worth it. Going through your messages lately, I got to know how beautiful you guys think and how innovative we all are. Great Nigerian young adults long live us all!

Well, as for my guy that wants to know how you recognise love, well I guess it has to do a lot with feelings first and the rest latter. I mean, it starts with you feeling something strong about that person and when you get to know the person more you get to see other qualities you like and have always wanted in any girl.

One more thing:
In such cases the love never goes wrong, but be watchful o ...

It's a difficult question. However there is a logical answer. You choose the most favourable of the rest if you must: scale of preference.

Well, I think there are "right people". While I was serving, I met a girl whom I was convinced was "the one" (yeah like Neo ). I am very choosy about any girl I want to date cos I feel it has to be a longterm relationship to be worthwhile. From the very first time I met her, I admired her intelligence, her natural altruism and her youth. She was engaged then and I tried to "disengage" her cos I truly believed we were made for one other. didn't work out though and now she is happily married with a kid.

Now if there is a right person, that would mean I'm doomed for good, but I honestly believe that there is that special person that would be as crazy about you as you are about him/her.

most importantly, you have to pray for directions and guidance from the Almighty. But first it's just as important of being the right person as it is meeting and finding the right person.

someone who respect you,
someone who will not hout you intentionaly,
someone whoyou can laugh with,
someone that's there for you during the good and the bad time,
someone who is caring,

The right person for me is someone who is God-fearing, completes me perfectly and in whose eyes i see a million possibilities. Once i feel that spark, i'd know i've met him.

kikelomo:

The right person for me is someone who is God-fearing, completes me perfectly and in whose eyes i see a million possibilities. Once i feel that spark, i'd know i've met him.

which spark madam ?
u mean ur xpectation is 4 d guy to b working wit PHCN?
omo,spark no b word dem dey joke wit ooo.
laughssssssssssss

WISH U LUCK SHA.

if you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit would direct you, if you have a close relationship with God. Also our instincts is another way, there is a difference between feelings, thoughts and instincts,but most people are not aware of these,so they make mistakes about the three. feelings and thoughts might lie,but instincts do not lie. but the mistake we all make is, when we meet someone and its so rosy, we allow our feelings think for us, rather than going by our instincts, our feelings overcloud our thoughts and deceive us.

Alot of people have spoken very intelligently on this issue.
And i liketo think that we have lots ofmature minded peopleon this topicin particular.

First of all in finding a rite partner, you have to decide why you wanna get married or what your expectations of a relationship are.

Like its being mentioned earlier, you really need to be whole, complete in yourself before you look for a life partner otherwise your judgements will be blurred.

Definately we need to pray for our Abba Father to guide our thoughts but our Father can only go by whatever we have in our minds thats why its very essentila to be grounded yourself before looking for a mate.

Dont just say the Holy Spirit will do it, God isnt a magician and we have our own parts to plan and we need to shine our eyes.

And dont be fooled by any brother or sister in a church that tells you stuff - shine your eye, and dont be fooled.

enough said

well said