My friend just lost his mother yesterday and while he was talking to sympathizers, he said "The most important person in my life has just passed away" The wife who was hearing was set off on edge and asked him where she belonged. If your mother is the most important person where do I belong? Second most or what?
Whats your take on this?

Bukittes:

My friend just lost his mother yesterday and while he was talking to sympathizers, he said "The most important person in my life has just passed away" The wife who was hearing was set off on edge and asked him where she belonged. If your mother is the most important person where do I belong? Second most or what?
Whats your take on this?

That woman is thoughtless and insensitive. Well, if she is going to make me choose between her and my mum then she should be ready for a shocker coz she wont even come close. My mum has been there all through my existence until she died, wife has only started being there when we got hooked up in the church, b!tch might even leave me with that kinda selfish attitude but mum? Stuck with me! No sane woman dare ask me that thoughtless question coz I damn sure will choose my mum over and over and over her as many times as she asks me to. . . Goddam it! Like I expect her to choose me over her loving parents.

My mum of course, b4 any other person,

@poster
oh lawd, is she for real?! i hope she aint Nigerian because that will be a real wake up call for her knowing that she aint even second most important if they happen to have children(especially boys).

the fact that this wifey even asked this silly questions shows us how some married women really want to become the center of our universe AND MORE.

^^^^^whats there to discuss?
the two are no even comparable to begin with.

Bukittes:

My friend just lost his mother yesterday and while he was talking to sympathizers, he said "The most important person in my life has just passed away" The wife who was hearing was set off on edge and asked him where she belonged. If your mother is the most important person where do I belong? Second most or what?
Whats your take on this?

That's a very rude thing to say in front of your wife!

But the wife could have just ignored him afterall he was mourning his mother!

The Fact she feels the need to make a fuss over the fact that I made an emotional statement to express my sadness for the demise of my mum is what I find annoying. It is like my father getting annoyed because I am fond of my mum than him, of course he knows I love him too and would do anything for him even as much as I would my mum. Asking stupid question like; "so what am I? Second most important?" is very immature, insensitive and ignorant. If I did not love her in the first place, marriage would not ve come up. And if you want to pit yourself against my mother then I will let you know that you ve not done and can't do half of what she has done for me, there would ve been no me without her. Nothing is as annoying as your spouse making manipulative statements to make you choose btw them and your family members.

Women, why! why! @rhymz I got you.

chaircover:

^^^^^
Yes, but they are married and therefore have no choice but to discuss it and try and sort out any issues caused as a result of the remark & her response to it.

They just cant walk away from each other just because of this matter.

yes of course, this is no reason to walk away from each other but why would a wife (probably even MOTHER, what an irony!!!!) think she is higher than a childs mother to begin with?!
the fact that any gal think that they have a base for a discussion here is alarming!

the simple discussion that should happen and close that matter once and for all is for the hubby to simply say:"she is my mother, the women who gave me LIFE. do you dare compare yourself with her?!"

bookmarked

For the Love of God the man was mourning his mother. Anyways the story seem somehow sha because no woman in her right state of mind will say such to her mourning husband unless she wants to see her mother-in-law face to face in after life.

@Chaircover
yeah i got what you said but my concern is more that some women dont know or dont want to accept the obvious fact here (or would rather not hear it).

at that painful time of his life, do you think hubby cared about how wifey felt about being second best (or worse) in his life?!
or cared about "peace?!

HONESTY is one of the foundation of marriage, not "partial honesty to make wifey feel better". at least each and everyone will know their places and act accordingly.

^^^^^^^i guess it all depends on who you asking. rotflmao.
when/if i am asked this question i simply reply:" do you want me to be brutally honest OR simply answer to make you feel better?!

i, for one, dont believe in this fake BS. if i had a problem with my gal's anatomy then i wouldnt be with her to begin with so she should definitely get real and not ask me such silly question if she doesnt expect a truthful answer!
i would even tell her that she got a fat bootay if she did because she may not like it but not know that this may be what turns me on about her. should i lie about that?! lol

this question would be as silly as me asking her to tell me that my third leg is huge while i am only packing a peanut. come on! people should be comfortable with what they're packing anatomically and if they dont then they probably shouldnt get married or even date.

wrong thread, sorry!

chaircover:

@ Ibo-made LOL 

But I hope you guys are as forgiving when your wives start comparing you to their wonderful faultless amazing fathers  

@chaircover we all compair. Parents compair their kids, kids compair their parents with their friends parents, girlfriends compair their boyfriend with her friends' etc. But if my wife should compair me to her father. Chei Amadioha go strike her because a man can only do so much. But think about it that is what most women do anyway. Compair and Complain  

chaircover:

Rhymz I do agree that the wife shouldn’t have made an issue out of it, She should have known that her hubby loves her too and was only expressing his grief at the time, however the husband is not blameless in his choice of words and set himself up for trouble the moment he uttered them. Let’s look at it this way; if he hadn’t said what he said then the woman wouldn’t have had any cause or reason to raise her eyebrows; well not at this reason anyway.

Now to the wider comments you made, yes your wife cannot do certain things that your mum can do, so too can your mum not do certain things that your wife does & can do. Both mother and wife have their separate places, however both clamouring for your love so it is a good idea to know how to keep both sides sweet and without avoidable conflict.

I believe that the husband could have said a lot of other things to express his grief at the loss of someone so dear to him, but that single one statement that he made in front of his wife wasn’t the cleverest thing he could have come up with under the circumstances.

So lemme get you darling, I am supposed to moderate the importance of my mother when am talking about her in the presence of my wife. That is so hypocritical, of course it is presumptuous of any woman to expect me to cut down on the encomium I lavish on my mum, it shows she does not respect and recognize the importance of my mum in my life. Whatever I say about my mum whether exaggerated or not should not be used as a yardstick to measure your own importance as my wife in my life- my mother is my mother and if actually I am convinced that she is the most important person in my life, so be it, it should not be contended or viewed as a yardstick for comparison. If everyone is to get edgy over hyperbolic statements such as that then may be my father or my Childrien are entitled to such a frivolous outburst.
If I were the wife, I would rather see the statement as an opportunity to strengthen our relationship and make him feel that even if she can't be your mum she can try and may be one day, I would ve the cause to say, my wife is the most important person in my life.

@Chaircover no man will compair his wife to his Mum naa, their roles may be similar but they are not the same. Guys don't do such things   . Do you know a man will compairs his wife to his mum? I don't think so.

How can a woman make such a comment at a time llike that
No respect, arrogant and silly.
No sorry today one calls it emancipated, enlightened and independent

Ibo-made:

@Chaircover no man will compair his wife to his Mum naa, their roles may be similar but they are not the same. Guys don't do such things  . Do you know a man will compairs his wife to his mum? I don't think so.

I'm curious . .  but only because you keep repeating it! Is that a typo or do you just not know how to spell it  

chaircover:

Haba Prof Rhymz this grammer too  much for me o! 

But since you asked a direct question, if I was the wife, I will wait until bedtime, then jokingly ask him to repeat that statement he made a few days ago 

Honestly I have learnt to find humour in most things but we all cant be the same, hence the reason maybe why this woman didnt see the funny side.

. . Well, as long as the question remains in bed, you will surely get the answer you want to hear. A man can say anything in the throes of passion and love-making. But seriously, why should you ask your husband to clarify his statement? Don't you find such a question jejune and unnecessary? It is sth a kid should worry about; "Dad loves kevin than me". . . Questions like that create bad blood in the family, I wont take it likely if my wife ( when I eventually get married)

The man should have been tactful and chosen his words carefully. His wife on the other hand didn't have to "freak out" either.

Ujujoan:

I'm curious . .  but only because you keep repeating it! Is that a typo or do you just not know how to spell it  

Dead!

I read the original post and the reponses that followed and shocked that anyone would find fault in the statement of the man.

His Mother Vs. His Wife. _{No contest here} especially if she was a very good mother.