Mods please move to front page urgently.

Hello guys. This is my first post here and in a million years i never believed it would be something of this nature.
A girl whom i love and respect just informed me she was raped less than a week ago.
As a matter of fact i met with her a day after the incident(and she looked so downcast and depressed) but i couldn't place it.
Today after much prodding she opened up to me. A church brother whom she spent the night with when she came for her clearance had his way with her.
She is such a little thing. Broken, devastated, hurt. The type of person people take for a ride. She has told no single soul and intends to keep it that way.
How do i help her. How do i comfort her? Most especially how do i get justice no matter how little? Left to her she has "forgiven and left him with God".
Again, how do I protect her identity yet give her some closure? I know she'll be happy if he pays but she'll never risk confrontation or discovery.
WHAT DO I DO?

Every and all advice acceptable. Just note that what is done is done!

It is a pity. She should take care of herself medically first, in case of infection or unwanted pregnancy. Reporting the guy to the Church could at least unmask the monster and save other young sisters that might fall victim to the same guy, that is if she is sure she does not want to involve the Police. Young girls should avoid staying alone with men, to the extent of passing the night alone with them. They are ordinary flesh and blood, even if they are brothers.

I feel sorry for her.
But if you really want to help her, don't push. If you prod her she might withdraw. Don't think because she told about the incident she's gonna open up completely to you or do everything you tell her to do. Just give her time. Gently make her see reasons why the case needs to be reported, but If she insists she doesn't want to report the case, then let her be. Remind yourself she just went through awful experience where she felt powerless so don't ruffle power with her. It has to be her own decision on who to tell when to tell and how. She needs to know you will support her no matter what her decision is.

Currently, you need to know the emotions she might be dealing with; shame, guilt, pains, later on depression might set in and then some more gory tales if the situation isn't properly handled. Help her identify those emotions if you can, be there for her when she needs to talk about it but also give her space.

Generally, rape victims go through a some post trauma but it isn't the same for everybody. There is no general rule as to how she is expected to behave. Response are individualised. Therefore, you need to be able to watch out for her emotions and her response as your guide to help her out.

Nevertheless, She will need constant reaffirmation because she will be battling with guilt. "Why did i pass the night there?" "was there no other place I could have spend that night? " "maybe if I had screamed, or fought harder it wouldn't have happened ". She is going to get a whole lot of "if I had....." and all other guilt trip. So you will have to tell her she did all she could and it's not her fault things played out this way, irrespective of how it happened or why it happened the offender is always at fault.

If she can put words to her feelings and thoughts then you can begin to deal with any belief system or assumptions she has about the assault. You need to make her understand you do not see her as immoral or promiscuous because of the occurrence.

a lady you love and respect told you that she was raped?....,and she has not told anyone else?...too vague abeg,

Aksah12:
I feel sorry for her.
But if you really want to help her, don't push. If you prod her she might withdraw. Don't think because she told about the incident she's gonna open up completely to you or do everything you tell her to do. Just give her time. Gently make her see reasons why the case needs to be reported, but If she insists she doesn't want to report the case, then let her be. Remind yourself she just went through awful experience where she felt powerless so don't ruffle power with her. It has to be her own decision on who to tell when to tell and how. She needs to know you will support her no matter what her decision is.

Currently, you need to know the emotions she might be dealing with; shame, guilt, pains, later on depression might set in and then some more gory tales if the situation isn't properly handled. Help her identify those emotions if you can, be there for her when she needs to talk about it but also give her space.

Generally, rape victims go through a some post trauma but it isn't the same for everybody. There is no general rule as to how she is expected to behave. Response are individualised. Therefore, you need to be able to watch out for her emotions and her response as your guide to help her out.

Nevertheless, She will need constant reaffirmation because she will be battling with guilt. "Why did i pass the night there?" "was there no other place I could have spend that night? " "maybe if I had screamed, or fought harder it wouldn't have happened ". She is going to get a whole lot of "if I had....." and all other guilt trip. So you will have to tell her she did all she could and it's not her fault things played out this way, irrespective of how it happened or why it happened the offender is always at fault.

If she can put words to her feelings and thoughts then you can begin to deal with any belief system or assumptions she has about the assault. You need to make her understand you do not see her as immoral or promiscuous because of the occurrence.

You really sound like one who has a training in counseling.

TYKLINTYZA:
It is a pity. She should take care of herself medically first, in case of infection or unwanted pregnancy. Reporting the guy to the Church could at least unmask the monster and save other young sisters that might fall victim to the same guy, that is if she is sure she does not want to involve the Police. Young girls should avoid staying alone with men, to the extent of passing the night alone with them. They are ordinary flesh and blood, even if they are brothers.

Op, follow this advice... Let her go to the hospital for pep, to prevent unwanted pregnancy and any STD cos rapists don't use condoms.
I feel so sorry for her, a similar thing happened to my friend back in school...
And help her to get justice against the rapist...