Is It Over Or What - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is It Over Or What (1925 Views)
| Is It Over Or What by chizumbaby: 6:46am On Aug 11, 2010 |
pls i am new to this forum and i have a problem which has been bothering me for sometime now. i need the advice of members of this forum. please no insults i just need matured advice especially from the guys. i have a boy friend who i have been dating for sometime now, to be precise we have been together for 18 months and we have been through a lot together but right now i'm not too sure. my boyfriend is currently stays in a remote area in the uk. and when i say remote i mean that there are only like five black people in the area (strictly white) and he is currently sharing his flat with a guy. his flat mate is due to move out of the flat and right now is almost as if he is stranded (or that's what he says) so on thursday he told me that there is this girl that wants to move in with him (a white girl). i kicked against it because for sometime now the girl has been calling him though i didn't take it serious. About two days ago i was calling him and he refused to pick up. i sent him messages on facebook he did not answer. so i decided to go to his house (his house is an hours drive from mine) when i got there he did not want to talk. so when he was sleeping i checked his phone and saw messages from the white girl. so i woke him up and asked him if its because of the girl that he did not want to pick my calls. i got angry and packed my things so to leave him the next morning. the next thing he started apologising and telling me sorry from there one thing led to another. after we were done i asked him to tell me wat was going on and he said that the girl has agreed to move into the house but that he has to date her and i was like wat rubbish how can a stranger be telling what to do. then he confessed to me that he slept with her and that he told her that he has a girlfriend and she started freaking out that either she moves in and they continue or nothing. right now he is still looking for a house because he told me that he does not want to stay with her but that if the inevitable happens that he will explain to her that im his girlfriend and he cannot just get me out of the picture. i'm quite confused as i dont know whether to walk away or to stay. but its looking like him and the girl are going to stay together. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by acidrop(f): 6:52am On Aug 11, 2010 |
DONT STAY. . . . . that story dont even sell out, the gurl forced him to sleep with hahahahhhaha, common now. i say u walk babe |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Gabry(f): 6:56am On Aug 11, 2010 |
Gosh! Men can be so stoopid. . . Sorry to say this. . . . . . . A man by all cost should never take in a female as their housemate because they are damn weak! This your guy is considered to already have cheated on you. U know, the problem is that before the problem arises, he should have told u about this and see what the both of u could work out instead of waiting for it to happen than u find out and he admits it. Rubbish! I suggest you leave him. . . For real! |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by lovemoi2(f): 7:38am On Aug 11, 2010 |
it is over |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Odunnu: 7:47am On Aug 11, 2010 |
@Poster,i'l assume u aint Nigerian.I ask cz Nigerians are by far smarter than 2fall 4ds story. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by CyberG: 7:51am On Aug 11, 2010 |
Typical woman advice! After the 18 month relationship crash (on the counsel of strangers), we will see who loses. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by chizumbaby: 7:54am On Aug 11, 2010 |
cyber g please what do yu mean? explain i dont understand |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by sugarpp: 8:08am On Aug 11, 2010 |
It is only over if he goes ahead and let the white girl move in. You have to let the white girl know about u whichever way u r goin to let that happen then let ur boyfriend know that u r nt goin to stand his rubbish for example make it clear to him that when u call his fone u expect him to pick up n things like that. In this recession he is saying he is stuck n unable to find acommodation  when people everywhere r lookn to rent out rooms in their hse to generate extra income. What exactly is his deal that he needs the white girl? immigration palava? |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by CyberG: 8:12am On Aug 11, 2010 |
@Poster. . .believe it or not, 99% of ladies who read your post (given the picture you painted) will tell you to break-up with this guy. But think for a moment, does the 6 paragraphs you posted accurately and completely reflect what your 18 months relationship (which you admitted you have been through a lot together) looks like? Well, you are the one who can tell but people are already advising you to break-up. I hope you will not just take the advice of people who may not have had a successful 3 or 6 months relationship but will listen to your own heart (and then think based on what things look like or are looking like) before making a decision. I am a guy and oftentimes, things are not what they seem. I suggest you cautiously evaluate the relationship based on how he acts, reacts, talks to you etc. . .to have your mind made up one way or the other. Also, talk to him and if he does not come across as valuing your relationship to repair it immediately and restore it, then when you make a final decision, you can be confident that you are not taking a hasty or ill-conceived decision. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Gabry(f): 8:18am On Aug 11, 2010 |
CyberG: Hmmm, . I would have to admit that u could be right. People tend to focus more on the negative side of everything and not considering of other details being out out. But to me, I dont think 3-6 months is long. If within that time frame, her bf suddenly behave as such on the 7th month (to be honest 3-6 months is like one week) and even managed to sleep with another lady behind her back and all, I dont think the dude is serious. . . He didnt tell her of his troubled times and even tried hiding it behind her back. Wheres the trust here? Guys, if u dont ant your woman no more, stop hiding and tell her instead of cheating behind her backs and sleeping around like some goat. . .  |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Nobody: 8:32am On Aug 11, 2010 |
He shuld have told u from d start.I believe ur bf have hidden agenda.I see no reason y he shouldn't tell u 1st b4 takin dat decision stay 2gedag wit a gal.They even had sex.come on it absurd bt i think u have d final say. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Gabry(f): 8:42am On Aug 11, 2010 |
yorke: Exactly! Thank u  |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by chelseabmw(m): 8:44am On Aug 11, 2010 |
[size=18pt]U BOYFRIEND IS A LIAR[/size] |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Okijajuju1(m): 9:16am On Aug 11, 2010 |
Una too talk, the poster put up a @ Poster My answer is "What" |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Basildon1(m): 9:17am On Aug 11, 2010 |
chelseabmw: She knows already but she's in denial.what a weakling  |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Nobody: 9:35am On Aug 11, 2010 |
your bf and the gal are having an affair mayb it will blow over and he will come running back to you or he"ll stay with her or she might dump him and he will come back or he may simply move on.so many scenarios.I think you should be patient and be sure whether you want to leave him or you want to stay.in a few mnths time you shld have made up your mind with proper information so good luck. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by chizumbaby: 10:09am On Aug 11, 2010 |
Basildon1: I'm not a weakling. I just love him |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by SALady(f): 11:35am On Aug 11, 2010 |
@Poster, leave the Move on to be with a guy who will not lie or cheat on you 'cos you are worth it. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by deniyor: 3:49pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
It's over only when you say it is over. And in your best interests, it should be over. He cheated and that can be forgiveable. But he did try playing for a big fool and that is just plain disrespectful. It is one thing when a man cheats on you. It is another story when he wants the girl he cheated on to move in with him while he has a gf. Shows his gf means little or nothing to him, no matter what he tells you. Get out now or be kicked out later. Ultimately, it is your choice. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by kilakhan(m): 6:31pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
@Poster dont be mean, it gets quite cold in remote parts of the UK and the poor guy can not drive for an hour each time he needs TLC. so he decides to have some instant TLC available at all times and you dey vex? seriously though the guy is not being honest to you and i think you know that too but are refusing to accept it. probably been shagging the babe for some time now. what do you do? two choices. stick it out or get a move on with your life. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by MissyB1(m): 9:00pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
CyberG: CyberG:  |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Nobody: 9:25pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
Even a 3wks old foetus can see the lies from the womb. Girl he is weaving you like a piece of yarn.  |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by slex(m): 9:32pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
I will be frank with you. If he loves you or really understands what love is, he won't compromise ur relationship for a roof over his head. Come how come he can't stay with you sef?pls answer |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by funkybaby(f): 9:35pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
@poster you have been with him for 18months? chizumbaby: is your boyfriend illegal in the UK? what is his immigration status?? cos i cant seem to understand why the white girl has to move in with him |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by chizumbaby: 7:46am On Aug 12, 2010 |
funkybaby: slex: |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Tinksh(f): 8:49am On Aug 12, 2010 |
You are only an hour away from him and he still cheated, now the girl he cheated with is moving in?? Oh my!!! He has already gone there so why would you think he wont with her under his roof then blame her. It takes two baby. Please believe that i know exactly how hard it is to walk away from someone you love but you need that love in return. He is playing you. Doesnt matter how long you have been together, his story is ridiculus!! How can you believe anything he says, I know you want to believe him and it will hurt like hell to walk away but my god you deserve better than that. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by Damalex4luv(m): 9:12am On Aug 12, 2010 |
But to me you dont have to think much about this issue b'cos he is a guy and is entitled to many girl as far to the length that he can.lol |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by 1105(f): 9:52am On Aug 12, 2010 |
Poster Look @ it from your BF's point of view, he definitely cant be stranded,so i suggest that you both go and confront the New Girl and make yourself known to her that you are the person in his life and that you know everything thats happening between them,then pack your BF's things and take them to a house or sometin, you have to be strong now for your BF now or never,,. But please do not say i didnt tell u cos if that new Girl succeeds in getting in2 your BF's apartment U are histo thetory |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by kpolli(m): 2:28pm On Aug 12, 2010 |
190 is always rite |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by chizumbaby: 8:32am On Aug 16, 2010 |
thanks for the replies everyone i am very grateful. On thursday i went to my boyfriend's house unannounced and he was not at home though i was able to get in when he came back i nagged him a bit and then slept off even though it was very difficult for me. the next day i was supposed to go back by 4.30 in the afternoon. i was online and then he came online and and we started chatting after sometime we had a huge disagreement and i then decided to pack all my things out of the house i went and dropped his keys fro him at his place of work when i got there he was acting apologetic, he gave me a peck on my cheek and then put me in a taxi but i was very angry. when i got home he started texting me that he still loves me and stuff i then asked him why he was hurting me this way when he claims to love me. then he told me he would come over the next day being saturday. on saturday before he came he told me that he was going to check for a laptop for his potential flatmate i got very angry and asked him why he was telling me he then became apologetic and started telling me to please please please understand whats going on and take it easy. that he knows how diffucult it is for me. i made food for him when he came over and he ate he even helped me process my mobile phone contract after staying for sometime he said he wants to start going home. he even told me that it was the woman that drove him in her car to town and that he has already told her about me though she has been acting funny he also said that he was able to get the laptop for her and that he wanted to help her do some installations i asked him where he said either at his place or her b and b. i escorted him to the bustop and decided to go and see a movie. at the cinema with a friend of mine. while i was at the cinema i called him and we chatted with each other. after the call i decided to test him and sent him a text that i was coming over to his place he then sent me a reply that i should please not come cos she is sleeping over that she is having issues with her b and b. i called him back and told him that its over. he then started trying to explain but i did not answer him. i went ahead to watch the movie while i was watching the movie he called me but i rejected his call. on sunday he kept calling me and sent me a text that he still loves me but that he is in a fix cos of the house problem and that he knows it will be diffucult for me to understand. i then called his elder brother and told him what had been going on. his brother told me that i should understand that he is not earning much money at the moment and that he needs a flatmate to share the bills with that he (his brother) has stayed with girls in the past eventhough nothing happened between him and them. and that if he is not able to pay the bills he (his elder brother) would have to bear the burden and he might not be able to help out. that i should just be patient if i try to be forceful i will only hit a brickwall. he told me to be patient and that instead i should try and make myself known to the girl. anyway my boyfriend called later and we got talking he then told me that the lady was tsill around and he asked me if i wanted to talk to her i said ok but the lady said she did not want to talk to me. he then told me that he will talk to her after the call and that she was going back on sunday. |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by oYaTo(m): 2:48pm On Aug 16, 2010 |
Okija_juju:  @poster. .Since it seems as if it's his accommodation issues that's driving you apart, why can't he move in with you instead? |
| Re: Is It Over Or What by chizumbaby: 2:52pm On Aug 16, 2010 |
im staying with my brother and my parents will never never agree to that. morever, my house is like one hour fifteen minutes to his place of work and because he does'nt have a car its approximately £200 pounds per month for transportation |
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