@ Uyai

See your "love story" has changed since we last talked.

If you ask me, either both of you are playing the "hide and seek" game, or you've actually slipped through each other's fingers or one of you is still blindly in love . . but i can't really place my finger on which of the above your case is

If its the hide and seek game, then it might land you guys on a dangerous spot, Cos for some the more you play the game, the more seperated you become. And at the end of the day, the broken pieces would be so shattered to mould back. That's what i call a couple growing apart from each other

In your case??
I think you're scared to let go? but if you ask me, it think its time to, i know i told you to give it all you had and give some benefit of the doubt but the situation now seems to have an extra unwanted side to it

He no longer sounds like someone who just needs some space, he now sounds non-challant and ignorant of whatever might be, and to me you guys are still "a couple" Cos neither of you has the courage to speak up. Girl break out of the cycle Cos it seems to be costing you a lot.

A relationship is supposed to bring joy, hapiness and a feeling of security and even during the bad times, there's this assurance and hope of better days to come,

your relationship?? i see no prospect, no rock to hold you through, the parties are more of frenemies than a couple, secrets are smuggling in, irritation towards the other party is sneaking in, the love is slowly varnishing leaving you my girl empty, depressed and confused.

The sooner you guys jointly called it a day, the better for both parties. You can remain friends, you might even benefit from each other, but your days as a couple has been realised, its time to heal and move on.

Meet better things that life has in stock, but know this: as long as a door doesn't shut, a window will not be opened. And NO, let the other guy go. Recover from the pains and hurt, mourn your newly-dead relationship and give yourself some time to realise what you just went through. When you're ready for another relationship, and have met a suitable match for yourself, it will tell, but for now, yourself should be your best friend, family and female friends(good ones ooh) should be your crying shoulder!!!

Nairalanders are at your service too Don't worry, it shall be well, take my word on it.

I don't like where you're heading to,

It seems that in

@topic; Takes d grace of God and his doin. so just hope and pray 4 d best. "God would surely c u through"


@cute-ass; hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

chiegemba:

@cute-ass; hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Hi darling, good to see you. I was actually thinking of you yesterday, and my prayers were just answered. Hope you're fine

@ cute-ass
ha!  where do you get the power  to hammer out these lengthy posts?  

@ topic
i believe you dictate the way people treat you. just ignore him for a while. dont honor him with your attention like he witheld his from you. let him get the point. he may become defensive and break up with you. fine. you dont want a man that can never get the message.

@cute- ass; really! thanks,
havent actually been on 4 a while. doin my finals. so i have a lot of studyin / presentations dat am preparin 4. {hectic though} but its all good.

I finally decided to break up with him. I called him early in the morning, i left a message telling him to put all my stuff together that i was coming to get it at a certain time.
On getting there, he gave me a hug and asked what is going on with me. That he has been calling me for the past 4 days. i told him that i've been busy. he was like too busy for me? were you ignoring my calls? are you telling me you had absolutely no time to call me? at a point i told him that he sounds like me. He asked why i was taking my stuff, i said i needed to wash them, he asked if that was the real reason, i said yes. For some reason i could not do what i went there to do. he was like he missed me, glad i came, his reaction was very appropriate like nothing is wrong between us

The name i saw on his phone was actually a male. He brought his phone and spoke to the person in front of me. So i was wrong about that.

I do not know why i'm not satisfied with what he says, i still hurt inside. He says i know he's busy at work and blah blah. He did not call me that day again and the following day until i called him. I once again said something about our lack of communication. I asked him if he wants a break up that he should let me know, that i do not want to be heart broken when all is said and done. i told him that i was confused. he said he's with me, does not want a break up that i shouldn't talk like that, that he cares about me a lot. he also said that he does not want me to be confused, that i should relax.
Is there something wrong with me? do you guys think this guy really wants to be with me? I'm afraid that i might be falling inlove with the guy as much as i try to fight it, could that be the reason for my sadness and insecurities?

lol this is so funny because i have exactly the same issue with this guy, he use to call me like everyday even when he was at work, he always found time to call, but then he stopped, his excuse, i am always busy at work, and i was like all those other times you were busy and you called me, i mean like wats different now, i understand the fact that he is a doctor and has got things to do, but the thought of knowing that he actually thinks of me maybe once a day would have been enough, we argued about this stuff, broke up off and on several times, the last time we broke up and got back together everything was good, then i decided to stop calling him to see if he would call me, and he hasn't in like 3 weeks, lol no one is going to tell me when its time to move on, i actually moved on the first week after he didn't call and i am so not calling him back. he can burn in hell for all i care, im not wasting my time on someone who deosn't feel like he wants to be with me, he says crappy things like i love you and making empty promises, i think showing you care is better than saying it.

uyai:

Is there something wrong with me? do you guys think this guy really wants to be with me? I'm afraid that i might be falling inlove with the guy as much as i try to fight it, could that be the reason for my sadness and insecurities?

@ uyai darl

Are you saying you weren't in love with him all these while, that you might be falling in love??

All you wrote, brings us back to square 1, go back and read what i wrote and do just that.
Your insecurities will only make you see things the way they're not. Every little thing he does or says is interpreted differntly. (Believe me I know)

You have to choose either to live with the "new him", or call it a day, Cos if you don't approve of the new him and still want o be with him then you're only exposing yourself to sad days, depression and grief, and i tell you, those are not healthy for you

Daring "love" is a survival of the bravest . . I'm sure no one on earth is 100% secure, Cos we're all human and have absolutely no right to what happens to someone else's feelings the next minute , we just hope for the best and expect the worst.

Do not jump into conclussions until you have back-up facts, never live on "i thought i saw" or " i heard", those are disasterous for a relationship . . "TRUST" is the key word here, walk with it until its been proven betrayed . . .

Nobody said relationships were going to be a bed of roses, but I'm sure with time, and when both of you're more close and matured in the relationship, things will loosen up!!

Hun its your turn to analyze lol?? Haven't heard the line forever, mind explaining what it means?? Is being a "doll" good or bad
[quote][/quote]
dolls r cute  just like your analysis r cute,and my guess is , u're cute. just like your ID says. get it?

uyai dear, you have to make up your mind and be firm about your decision. from your last post, you still care about him and somewhere at the back of your mind you want the relationship to work.

but what does your heart really tell you to do?if you feel you should move on, then take the step one day at a time. someone said"he who has the heart to love should have the heart to suffer the bruise of it" that means not all 'loves' are meant  to be. please my dear dont fuss it. think of what will make you happy and try very hard to do just that. i know its not so easy that is why you should take it one day at a time.dont settle for less out of sentiments, matters of the heart are not easy, but try to be strong. you can do what you set out to do, trust me.

He did not call me that friday, he did not call saturday untill very late at night after i called him. we were on the phone for a minute.

I was disturbed that night so i called him again. I once again said how i don't like the fact that things are not going well. he once again said the same thing and sweet nothings. he said that it was late, he's trying to sleep that we should talk in the day time. He did not call me on sunday. Today is monday. I was very distubed last night, instead of studying for my finals, i found myself sitting and thinking what i did wrong.
I decided that my health was more important. I called him 3x today he did not pick up, on the fourth call i left him a message telling him that the relationship is over and that i wish him the best. ( it was longer message)

right now i'm very relieved and happy, i know it'll hurt but i also know that i'll get over it with time. I turned my phone off, it will be off for a couple of days cuz i do not want to hear from him, i want to clear my head.

ok girl,
i think thats a good step.
lets see what happens after this. how he responds.
the time off will do you good (though will be painful), just clear your head and be yourself.

now this is what i'm expecting from him;
when he doesnt hear from you for a few days after such a message, he should make the effort to come see you. anything less is unacceptable. thats my view.

moondust:

dolls r cute just like your analysis r cute,and my guess is , u're cute. just like your ID says. get it?

thanks hun!!!!!

HE HAS BEEN CALLING MY WORK PHONE!

he was like why are you being mean to me? i care about you a lot, you are getting everything all wrong, i want you in my life, i did not know you were this mad. he called a couple of times. ( he said more than this)

I told him that action speaks louder than words. I cannot believe he's trying to get back with me!

@ all, thanks for all the advice, i feel empowered.

What exactly is the problem? Is it that he doesnt call everyday?

@ red lips.
problem: there is no communication in the relationship and no effort from him to solve the problem. ( please read post)

your posts have just been of phone this phone that

How far is he from you? Cant you guys communicate face to face?

Although it's kinda sad that he cant take at least ten mins of the day to call you, unless of course each time he calls you are complaining and he dreads calling cos he wants to avoid the nagging

There are 24 hours in a day. What stops him from making a 2 minute call to touch base with his babe, every other day? If na big money di babe dey owe am, you think say he no go make di call?

When a guy starts dodging a girl's calls, he is sick & tired of that relationship. And he is merely looking for an escape route, without saying too much.

All the advice given here are so meanigngful. Its so sad that girls go through situations like this. Let's be strong and learn to appreciate those who appreciate us. Follow ur heart and do what u have to. We have just one life so live it up!

uyai: He did not call me that friday, he did not call saturday untill very late at night after i called him. we were on the phone for a minute.

I was disturbed that night so i called him again. I once again said how i don't like the fact that things are not going well. he once again said the same thing and sweet nothings. he said that it was late, he's trying to sleep that we should talk in the day time. He did not call me on sunday. Today is monday. I was very distubed last night, instead of studying for my finals, i found myself sitting and thinking what i did wrong.
I decided that my health was more important. I called him 3x today he did not pick up, on the fourth call i left him a message telling him that the relationship is over and that i wish him the best. ( it was longer message)

right now i'm very relieved and happy, i know it'll hurt but i also know that i'll get over it with time. I turned my phone off, it will be off for a couple of days cuz i do not want to hear from him, i want to clear my head.

The relationship was already over on his side and he was patiently waiting for you to call it off,so even if your was switched off for a year,he won`t give a hoot.

you dont need me to use crayon and write it boldly that he doesn't love you anymore do you? Common gurl from his
actions you should know that he's not into you anymore. Just move on with your life already.

Don't mind the f*cked op, you and your ex loved each other before and u then called off the relationship just because of ya father. Smh! You should then go and marry your father. Mtchwwwww

Young po413:


The relationship was already over on his side and he was patiently waiting for you to call it off,so even if your was switched off for a year,he won`t give a hoot.

answering the op seven years later? Hian!!

What's the conclusion of dis story op. It will be nice if d op can come here and tell us if she had truly broken up wit her bf or she had rejoined with her ex or even anoda admirer. *spreads mat*

@ op, lack of communication is one of the problems in our relationship, anyway I wish u all day best.

My dear to be candid I understand your current condition. I will like you to seat down with your current boyfriend and discuss this problem with him letting him know that if there is no change then you might see it as if he does not care for you anymore and therefore does not want you. If he is still adamant, then I believe you should decide to move on with your life without him. As for going back to your ex it is very risky based on the reason you gave in your thread. Advice him to go back to school if possible enroll into adult education programmes.

My dear what you have to do is seat your boyfriend down and discuss this problem with him letting him know that lack of communication leads to problems in relationships. If he remains adamant then I believe you have to move on with your life without him. As for your ex, advice him to go back to school and if possible enroll in adult education programs.

Your present relationship is obviously not working so you are free to go where you are needed.

Get back to the man who loves you.

Stop forcing a horse to drink when the water is at his feet..

It's official. Nairalanders no dey check date before hitting the reply button

Oahray: It's official. Nairalanders no dey check date before hitting the reply button

. Bro me sef tire for the matter o. I was thinking she'd be encouraged to come and tell us if she had reunited with d guy or she's now in a new relationship. Seriously me like to knw how d story ends but it seems d op is no where to be found near nairaland.

uyai:
I am confused, i feel like i'm going crazy. My boyfriend has not been acting they way he use to. I mean when we see each other he's the same guy. But he does not call me like before. He's always busy. I have complained and complainded,i'm tired of complaing. Each time this comes up he tells me to believe in him and have patience. I do not know if i'm imagining things or if they are actually happening. How can you be busy all the time? can you be too busy to talk to someone you care about?

Because of his lack of attention, my Ex crip into my mind. He use to give me 110% love and attention. i broke up with him mainly because my dad would commit suicide if i brought a guy like him home. he is opposite of me. He is not in school and is doing music( RAP). We recently ran into each other at an African night event. We have been talking ever since. He still loves me and it is very obvious. I told him that i can't wait for him forever. I'm turning 25 sep he's turning 24. He told me that he'll continue to work on the things i told him to work on so that we could be together. I told him that i have a boyfriend now, he looked so visible sad that i moved on already. We have a special connection. I became a part of his family. His mom and dad loved me and use to call me all the time. I was known as wife to be in his family. his counsin even called me from Canada. His grandmother called from there too to pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!! so the break up was tough.

I am now having thoughts of him. I know i woulndn't have had thoughts of him if my boyfriend was treating me right. My ex and i are seeing, i'm afraid that i'm going to do something bad like cheating.

Do you think i should break up with my bofriend since he cannot spare one minute in 24hrs to check on me or should i go with the person that is ready to kiss the ground i walk on.

please i need a constructive reply, i'm in a big stress. I think i love both of them but i want my boyfriend not my ex.

mumu