ways a woman can handle dominating and controlling husband in marriage & relationship

It ‘s all depended on how serious and how frequent these controlling behaviors are, you may be able to work with your spouse to improve your marriage, or you may benefit from counseling. If the behavior is very serious or does not improve with counseling, you may need to consider ending the relationship with your controlling partner in order to regain your independence.

Stay calm. For many people, arguing is a natural response to a spouse’s controlling behavior.Unfortunately, a controlling person is unlikely to submit and let you win the argument, so this tactic will likely only escalate the situation. Instead of arguing, stay as calm and collected as possible. You can disagree with your spouse without yelling or being disrespectful.

If you feel that you need to disagree with your spouse, consider saying something like, I see your perspective, but have you considered this? instead of “That’s wrong. My idea is better!” In some cases, you may find that agreeing with your partner is best, but you can do this without submitting to the controlling behavior. For example, you may take the initiative to make your own decision, while still taking your spouse’s opinions into account.

Ask the controller to develop a plan. In some cases, you may be able to use your controlling spouse’s tendency to control as a way of remedying minor issues in your relationship. Explain the issue to your spouse, and appeal to their desire to control by asking them to develop a plan to solve the problem.
Be as specific as possible when describing the problem to your spouse. For example, instead of saying, “You are too controlling, consider saying something like, I feel that you micromanage my activities and don’t trust me to get things done on my own.
If your spouse refuses to acknowledge that there is any problem, this strategy may not work.

Be empathetic. When your spouse makes a demand or tries to control you, it may help to try to see things from his or her perspective. Take a moment to consider why your spouse may be acting this way, and try to be understanding. This may help you avoid becoming angry whenever your spouse acts controlling.

This should help you understand your spouse’s behavior and perhaps look past minor incidents, but you should never use this technique to excuse disrespectful behavior.

Ask constructive questions. If your spouse begins to criticize or interrogate you, you can quickly turn the focus around by responding with the right questions. Ask questions that reveal to the controlling spouse that their expectations are unreasonable or that their behavior is unacceptable. For example, you might say, “Did you explain to me exactly what you wanted me to do?or I am going to walk away unless you start treating me with respect. Is that what you want?”[4]

Avoid getting defensive, as this will only enhance the controlling behaviors.

Be prepared for denial. Controllers often do not know they’re controlling. In fact, many controllers feel as though they are being controlled, which may explain why they feel the need to be so assertive. If you are dealing with a spouse who is habitually over-controlling, you will most likely have to convince them that they are controlling, which may take some time.

Be as respectful as possible when having this conversation. If you want to save your marriage, you should not attack your spouse’s character. Instead, focus on the kinds of actions or situations that upset you.
Use as many examples as possible in explaining what you mean by controlling.

Set boundaries. Once you have a conversation with your spouse about their controlling behavior, you will need to make it very clear what you are willing to tolerate. Explain to your spouse in as much detail as possible what kind of behavior needs to be corrected.

You may want to make a list of the biggest problems and brainstorm with your spouse about specific things you can do to avoid those problems in the future.
Keep in mind that there is a chance your spouse will think you are controlling as well, so be open to listening to any boundaries that they might propose.

Enforce consequences. Your spouse may need to be reminded of your limits every so often, so it’s a good idea to decide what kind of behaviors warrant consequences and what those consequences will be. This should only apply to major offenses that cannot be addressed in any other way.

For minor offenses, your spouse may benefit from a simple reminder of your boundaries.
Don’t overuse consequences. Withholding privileges or affection as a consequence for the tiniest offense is what controlling people do!
Your consequences may have to be quite serious. For example, you may decide that you will move out of the house if your spouse does not make an effort to treat you with respect over the next month.

Read more here:http://jumiaforum.com/listing/ways-women-can-handle-dominating-and-controlling-husband-in-their-marriage-relationship/

[quote author=jumia1 post=75095941]ways a woman can handle dominating and controlling husband in marriage & relationship

It ‘s all depended on how serious and how frequent these controlling behaviors are, you may be able to work with your spouse to improve your marriage, or you may benefit from counseling. If the behavior is very serious or does not improve with counseling, you may need to consider ending the relationship with your controlling partner in order to regain your independence.

Stay calm. For many people, arguing is a natural response to a spouse’s controlling behavior.Unfortunately, a controlling person is unlikely to submit and let you win the argument, so this tactic will likely only escalate the situation. Instead of arguing, stay as calm and collected as possible. You can disagree with your spouse without yelling or being disrespectful.

If you feel that you need to disagree with your spouse, consider saying something like, I see your perspective, but have you considered this? instead of “That’s wrong. My idea is better!” In some cases, you may find that agreeing with your partner is best, but you can do this without submitting to the controlling behavior. For example, you may take the initiative to make your own decision, while still taking your spouse’s opinions into account.

Ask the controller to develop a plan. In some cases, you may be able to use your controlling spouse’s tendency to control as a way of remedying minor issues in your relationship. Explain the issue to your spouse, and appeal to their desire to control by asking them to develop a plan to solve the problem.
Be as specific as possible when describing the problem to your spouse. For example, instead of saying, “You are too controlling, consider saying something like, I feel that you micromanage my activities and don’t trust me to get things done on my own.
If your spouse refuses to acknowledge that there is any problem, this strategy may not work.

Be empathetic. When your spouse makes a demand or tries to control you, it may help to try to see things from his or her perspective. Take a moment to consider why your spouse may be acting this way, and try to be understanding. This may help you avoid becoming angry whenever your spouse acts controlling.

This should help you understand your spouse’s behavior and perhaps look past minor incidents, but you should never use this technique to excuse disrespectful behavior.

Ask constructive questions. If your spouse begins to criticize or interrogate you, you can quickly turn the focus around by responding with the right questions. Ask questions that reveal to the controlling spouse that their expectations are unreasonable or that their behavior is unacceptable. For example, you might say, “Did you explain to me exactly what you wanted me to do?or I am going to walk away unless you start treating me with respect. Is that what you want?”[4]

Avoid getting defensive, as this will only enhance the controlling behaviors.

Be prepared for denial. Controllers often do not know they’re controlling. In fact, many controllers feel as though they are being controlled, which may explain why they feel the need to be so assertive. If you are dealing with a spouse who is habitually over-controlling, you will most likely have to convince them that they are controlling, which may take some time.

Be as respectful as possible when having this conversation. If you want to save your marriage, you should not attack your spouse’s character. Instead, focus on the kinds of actions or situations that upset you.
Use as many examples as possible in explaining what you mean by controlling.

Set boundaries. Once you have a conversation with your spouse about their controlling behavior, you will need to make it very clear what you are willing to tolerate. Explain to your spouse in as much detail as possible what kind of behavior needs to be corrected.

You may want to make a list of the biggest problems and brainstorm with your spouse about specific things you can do to avoid those problems in the future.
Keep in mind that there is a chance your spouse will think you are controlling as well, so be open to listening to any boundaries that they might propose.

Enforce consequences. Your spouse may need to be reminded of your limits every so often, so it’s a good idea to decide what kind of behaviors warrant consequences and what those consequences will be. This should only apply to major offenses that cannot be addressed in any other way.

For minor offenses, your spouse may benefit from a simple reminder of your boundaries.
Don’t overuse consequences. Withholding privileges or affection as a consequence for the tiniest offense is what controlling people do!
Your consequences may have to be quite serious. For example, you may decide that you will move out of the house if your spouse does not make an effort to treat you with respect over the next month.

Read more here:http://jumiaforum.com/listing/ways-women-can-handle-dominating-and-controlling-husband-in-their-marriage-relationship/[/quote
You have said it all gbam.