Hello everyone
I'm wondering this question in relation to the Fantababy's topic about getting fat and getting married. Well, while we were all trying to help our sister's out I've noticed a reply which paid my attention, In a word the guy advised her to lose weight as her fiancé suggested because she's 27 and according to him it's getting more and more difficult to get marry. Now I was wondering what was the most important getting married at all price in order to avoid the "critical"30's and family gossip or be patient to meet a correct guy, I'd not say the "right" or the "ideal" one because perfection doesn't exist and relationship is about concessions. But sisters what do you think? As African and with our culture we are raised to build our own family but many times when you are 25, 26, 27 without being married people used to "worry" about your future more than yourself.

As for me I think society put too much pressure on us (women), because yes I think having children at 24, 25 is good but I wouldn't rush and risk to be unhappy or regret my choice just because family and so on are pressuring me and make gossip quiet.

Let's have your experiences, thoughts and advises guys
Love you all,

Nayah, I know two ladies: both 26 and one will be 27 this year. You'd never guess they were unless they told you.

Fact is age is not written on your forehead. You get old when you start to act old.

There are some ladies who despite being in their 30s, 40s, and sometimes married, still get men wowing at them.

It's about the way they present themselves and their attitude in general.

I have seen a lot of girls in their early 20s looking like old women who have dropped at least 3.

Truth is bitter. But since we know society is not on our side as women, we must try to fight back by not giving them the opportunity to break our spirit. Besides who doesn't love to see herself in a lovely shape when she looks at herself in the mirror?

micheline sister, I'm not talking about the way oyu look because I've said it in Fantababy's topic, some black women tend to neglect themselves when they give birth, a woman has to take care of her but we don't look the same! peole are different , women are different we can not all look like model, imperfection makes us unique!. What I'm saying is we have to live our lives without caring about what people think. Of course for some people having children at some age is good but maybe this is not the priority for all, and seriously my dear 27, 28 30 this is young nowadays, our parents having children very soon because family's structure wa different, now women go more an more and longer to scholl and want to build a good professional career this takes time too, And the most important is to choose the correct person with values, not rushing because you increase the probability to get wrong.

Nayah:

micheline sister, I'm not talking about the way oyu look because I've said it in Fantababy's topic, some black women tend to neglect themselves when they give birth, a woman has to take care of her but we don't look the same! people are different , women are different we can not all look like model, imperfection makes us unique!. What I'm saying is we have to live our lives without caring about what people think. Of course for some people having children at some age is good but maybe this is not the priority for all, and seriously my dear 27, 28 30 this is young nowadays, our parents having children very soon because family's structure wa different, now women go more an more and longer to scholl and want to build a good professional career this takes time too, And the most important is to choose the correct person with values, not rushing because you increase the probability to get wrong.

Yep i agree with you on the the dynamics of today's structure regarding women particularly who have claimed their rights to education and the pursuit of a professional career, yet i would want to think is all about the reality of things as they stand e.g. the biological clock does not stop still because of your aspirations, a keen balance and priority is the name of the game,
I agree totally with you on values i will certainly stake my life for it. my 49cents

But when the women are ageing it shows on the face and they increase in size,but some are lucky to have a young shape but hide their age very well,so that the guy does not run away.Its a man,s world sha.But some women got theirs a long time ago but are never content.

looool no no this a topic for everyone actually knowing men point of view is quite important and interesting as well after all they are indirectly involved.

49 cents (lol love your pseudo) thanks it's good to see a guy agree with his sister because a lot of african brother don't,
Olas this is not about ageing cause you guys as well have belly when you ageing but we are still loving you as you are why putting tto much pressure on women? You people are demanding a lot of things we have to be good wife, good mother, a model( being as slim as possible),good cook and especially good daughter in law, all this demand work ha lool

i'd like to have some guys views as well

well the 6/3-3-4 educational system if corrected could assist some women,but that is not the issue,some people graduate at 21 and still have problems.peer pressure and not knowing what is right for the women.If you sample 100 guys in Nigeria and ask them why they are not yet married ,the answers you hear maybe economic.

Times are changing fast and some women are reaching monopause very early,The only solution will be to produce kids without being married,but such women will be strong to survive it.

I disagree with you menopause on the contrary tend to come very late nowadays with technical and medical progress plus, don't see relationship with time but with complementarity olas, life is not maths

Am not a woman ,but i have read in different scienfic journals and reasons for reaching monopuase early,life is not maths,but if you are a Nigerian woman living in Nigeria with your immediate community,you understand things differently.I know of a Nigerian girl that is 33 and lives on a street in Nigeria,all the childhood friends were all married on that street,so when she walks on the street people call her and ask a lot of questions,they were always suprised that she still lived with her parents.she had to relocate  ,she visits home ones in a while,some even promised to help her with metalphysics that will help her secure a man.

Till today nothing as come her way.They are so many in Nigeria with different metalpysical make up that has being prepared for them by metal pysicians,.

I have quite a number of female friends, all around 24 - 27. I'd say about 10% are married and they ALL want to get married ASAP. It's not that they are putting dating aside to chase a career. That's just a facade, quite the contrary.

Yes, they are working women, they have jobs, but not exactly fighting to advance a career as you would put it. They are very open to dating,  but where do they start looking. Truth is most ladies that get married early are either married to a chap they met in school or an arranged marriage, outside of that, it's rather TOUGH,  and this goes for both sexes.

Well i believe its different reasons however when a female reaches around the 27-20 range it because a real problem. Lots of times men around that range will look for younger woman that are more juicy and ripe . Men appreciate with age and woman depreciate with age sad to say it but thats how we africans think. Lots of times females think too much of themselves and blow off so many guys that come there way until they start getting old thats where the problem start by that time noone wants to marry them. As far as school medical students are different at times it takes a while with school but they usually marry someone who is in the same field so they understand why they are not married at that age.

CHYZ Thanks this is our African think but do you think it's good what's the cliché of "women get worst when they're ageing" the thing is as I told women when they have babies a lot of them tend to neglect their body I don't blame them because raisng children it's a difficult and endless work. But come on guys 27 28 it's still young, and for those who wants to hurry because of this it's because this society pressure and that's a pity,

Just passin

what is so romantic about this topic?

hi slex romance doesn't only means fairy tales and so on I think we can talk about some romance issue,

Marcus it would be good to explain, what's not ture?

Reasons why women don't get married early r
setting of high standard
lack of character i.e been stubborn.
Though age does not show in d face but it shows in d fertility face, Fertility diminishes wit age

Marry whenever you can afford to start a family and secure your future, without breeding problems for the community and society as we have seen that most poor people who marry have only caused more social welfare problems for the rest of the community and society.

may i get a lady to marry ( old or not), amen

okenwa AMEN you will!!
Adosjun, so feritility'runing means chasing husbands?? orinlka thanks for the advise and I think our sisters have ton think about it also, building a stable household, being ready psychologically before starting having children or think about it Ties are different now, maybe our "biological clock" is still here, clues for hapiness and family structures as well as people'svalues are changing

if i talk now dem go say viva don come again bringing morality and standards down----no comments apart from of cos this comment

And thats the mistake

you rush get married just for the sake of saying 'im married' your husband cheats on you left right and centre

you choose to turn a blind eye, your to embarressed to confront him or your family, your friends look at you in pity

youve become dependant on him so you cant go anywhere

HE still leaves you when you got 4 kids

for the sake of getting MARRIED, if you just waited a little longer ,

(this

Well ladies don't need to worry anymore about 'em gettin crackd cos there's a product named Anti-Age cream from knoxville, Tennessee to make dem look young even tho they're 50yrs old, they'll still look like 16 even get married at dat old age nd if u want d product u can hit me up right here 4 dat material.

WELL Brit I totally agree with you sister but unfortunetely this is quite disffucult to make some people understand that, because of our culture,

looool tonsville