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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? (1651 Views)
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Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 12:37am On Feb 03, 2019 |
In today's world, it's no doubt that there are lots of marriages that have failed and many are still failing. There are so many divorcees and the numbers keep increasing. It makes me wonder why it is so. Marriages are meant to be enjoyed not endured, but it so happens that many marriages today are far from being enjoyed. What could be the cause of increased marital failures in the society today? Is it infidelity, or could it be linked to finance, maybe family interferences, the kids, juju (lol), dishonesty, laziness?? I want us to share our personal experiences or honest thoughts on this issue and also profer possible solutions to curb the increased rate of marital failures in the society. We could help one or two people by our honest thoughts and solutions given. Over to the married people and others in the house |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by ogawisdom(m): 11:09am On Feb 03, 2019 |
People should go back and use the Bible which is the manual for marriage. Biblical standard for marriage is timeless and God's plan for marriage. A woman that can't submit to his man should not marry. This days u hear something like equal partnership in marriage which is not biblical. The man is the head of the union whether broke or rich. The man must love n care for the wife. The man must provide for his household, u are not a head for nothing 2 Likes |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 12:05pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
ogawisdom: Thanks for this response sir. I also will advice we go back to Biblical standard for marriage. Everything was well spelt out, Wife submit to your husband... Husband love your wife... Fathers do not provoke your children to wrath... Children obey your parents in the Lord... Servants honour your masters... And so much more. I believe if we obediently follow these steps and continue to be led by the Holy Spirit, we will enjoy our marriages and make happy homes. God help us all, Amen 2 Likes |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by cooldood(m): 8:25pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
Increase in marital failures- reasons: Gender equality jingle, Marriage is partnership jingle, social media craze, love for instant gratification,etc. Let me stop here for now. 2 Likes |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by xtivin2: 9:48pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
More women are getting born, more women are getting educated, more women are getting jobs. Until there is a reduction in 2&3 this trend will continue. Reasons; 2. The more a women get educated the more she becomes difficult to control except God steps in 3. Women are getting jobs, they feel they don't need a man anyways to carter for her needs. BTW, I forgot to add the social media, its becoming too crazy |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 10:04pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
cooldood: Please don't stop there, give solutions |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 10:08pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
xtivin2: Thanks for your contribution. But I will contest the last two points you mentioned. It's not something peculiar to 'women' only. It's also the same for the men. BTW, you even generalised it, all women are not the same nah, haba 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 10:08pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
Makschinchin: |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by cooldood(m): 10:18pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
Makschinchin:I don’t think things will get better rather it will get worse going forward. The moral fabric of the society especially in countries like 9ja has been shattered. Is it social media’s negative use you want to curb or is it the push for gender equality that you want to stop? The solution for individuals is simply to find someone who shares similar ideologies with you and who had solid parental upbringing and also trained him or herself properly. And then try to raise your kids in a proper way. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 10:30pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
cooldood: Okay. Thank you for your contribution |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Nobody: 11:02pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
xtivin2: Were racists in the USA right for hindering slaves from learning to read during the slave trade? People like you should have been born then. |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Tedpgrass: 11:09pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
Agree with Cooldood The terrain is changing quite rapidly and roles are being re-defined on a regular basis.. Gender equality in itself isn't an issue.......... It's the misinterpretation of gender roles and need for adaptability in the event of very fluid circumstances that's often the problem. The rise of vices aided partially by social media is another factor. This has led to a collective culpability only enhanced by a constant lack of reprimand. A mental connect and a morality connect should supercede any beauty/ financial / educational connect.. When choosing a life partner. These are the areas where the foundation stones are often substandard. When the storms arrive, the house is often too unable to withstand the pressure. . . 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by pansophist(m): 11:30pm On Feb 03, 2019 |
Shot answer. Marriage cannot survive in a capitalist modernize world. Every fault that leads to divorce can be traced to the modernize world somehow. 2 Likes |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:01am On Feb 04, 2019 |
xtivin2: i partly agree to say women are getting educated and getting jobs meaning she brings in income and they opt to leave a marriage, becoz she can provide for herself whereas long ago women depended on husbands financially Were i differ with you on the "becomes differ to control" as for me you dont need to control a wife but make her understand you and her understand you the moment you control you end up putting harsh treatments or condition, just like laws of a country they control by putting harsh sentenses on committed crimes as men we had the upper hand, due to working and providing and that put women under us becoz they need someone who provide for her and future kids ever since women got voting rights and rights to inherit property it has been seen as challenge by men, the west world took ages to adopt to these changes and has worked well for women then for us africa we are playing catch up, to this woman rights or the development of working being able to work and being able to stand on her own without a man supporting her so women are walking out of marriages becoz there something she is not happy about and she has a option to leave than being tied down like many women before her its the option to leave, some men are afriad of and some women use it as an excuse over a simple matter can be solved without walking out of the marriage an animal is the one that needs control as it doesnt speak, for an human speak your voice and agree to disgree and come up with new understanding no one is perfect and the way we deal with an issue varies becoz we are individuals by nature and we were raised differently there an approach to an issue varies how were taught and how much have you developed as person what worked for your parents 20 years might not work for you with your wife 3 Likes |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:12am On Feb 04, 2019 |
pansophist: fair point but look at the other side women were not been a chance to education simply becoz one felt that it would enriching thr husband to be, women were and in african traditions are not allowed to inherit her husband's wealth, the deseased brothers takes everything for her to have hands on the wealth she has to marry one of the brothers or else she goes back to her parents place empty handed for a woman to survive she had to be married, women are important while she is a wife, the moment the husband passes away, she is seen as an outcastif she doesnt remarry or if she wants to what they built as husband and wife |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by pansophist(m): 12:15am On Feb 04, 2019 |
ZIMDRILL: And your point is? 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:18am On Feb 04, 2019 |
pansophist: you cant figure it out? |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by pansophist(m): 12:20am On Feb 04, 2019 |
ZIMDRILL: It is ambiguous, and I do not want to misconstrue. Can you elaborate? |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:31am On Feb 04, 2019 |
pansophist: simple you mentioned what you call the bad side of modernization (capitalis) and mentioned the bad side of before modernization |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Risingphoenix12: 12:56am On Feb 04, 2019 |
Speaking from experience. (divorcee) My opinion on some causes of marital failures: 1) Lack of preparation. A successful marriage takes a lot of hard work, commitment and resolution. Its more much than hormones and fuzzy feelings. Expectations are not well managed before the union is sealed. Its also much more than what the other person says but what he/she does. 2) Poor foundation - Like tedpgrass mentioned.. mental and morality connect are both key... but also.. the rate of evolution of both parties must be matched. You can start out on the same level but if one advances mentally/morally than the other... then there's a disequilibrium and potential for issues. 3) Compatibility- an offshoot of (2) above... from seemingly innocuous things as eating habits to deeper things like spirituality etc... A successful marriage is meant to be a marathon.. not a sprint.. so think far into 6 decades.. Can you live with this for that long? and is it something you'll be OK with for that long? 4) Lack of selflessness- As time goes on, there is a tendency to want to focus on what's best for you (as an individual) instead of what's best for you as a couple. One must seek the other's development and wellbeing and vice versa... If efforts and considerations are equally matched, it helps forge the bond of the union... unfortunately, if one-sided... doom lurks. I'm sure there are many more... just wanted to share a few i could think of. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by ZIMDRILL(m): 2:02am On Feb 04, 2019 |
Risingphoenix12: good points remember MARRIAGE IS THE ONLY THING THAT GIVE YOU A CERTIFICATE BEFORE STUDY AND PASS THE EXAM |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Nobody: 8:48am On Feb 04, 2019 |
Makschinchin:Have you thought of other religious beliefs before advocating for bible based marriage? You have to be specific with a target audience 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Nobody: 8:50am On Feb 04, 2019 |
xtivin2:Your assertion is false and vague. Women acquiring education and been employed isn't responsible for marriage failure 2 Likes |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Ottocycle54(m): 8:53am On Feb 04, 2019 |
Makschinchin:The main problem is this equality nonsense Now women believe they are equal to men and hence, they don’t heed to corrections, no respect, full of themselves and infidelity from women side Check my signature to migrate to Canada 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 12:41pm On Feb 04, 2019 |
Ottocycle54: Oooops, you're sounding like a misogynist . We all know not all women have that "equal rights" mentality and infidelity is not a "women thing" only |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 12:46pm On Feb 04, 2019 |
asuustrike1: Thanks for your contribution sir. Let me ask you a question, if you were the CEO of Apple phones, will you come to the public to advice others to use other brands other than Apple phones just because you want to be "specific with a target audience?" No disrespect to other religions, but I am talking from a perspective I know so well. I can't speak from an angle I know little it nothing about. |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 1:01pm On Feb 04, 2019 |
Risingphoenix12: Thank you for your contribution sir. Number 4 is a major problem in many marriages. When married, one should always endeavor to be selfless knowing fully well that any action taken will one way or the other affect the other person 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Makschinchin: 1:03pm On Feb 04, 2019 |
ZIMDRILL: |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by Ranchhoddas: 1:14pm On Feb 04, 2019 |
There cannot be two captains in one ship. 1 Like |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by okikiola2: 5:31pm On Feb 10, 2019 |
One one is to seek God's guidance first, then the man must be a REAL man not a kid nor his family bread winner, the spouse must have gone communication and good sex, yes good sex, if a lady marries a one minute man, it will lead to separation. |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by bukatyne(f): 6:32pm On Feb 10, 2019 |
I see a lot of 'equality' causing divorce. Can someone explain how? |
Re: Increase In Marital Failures: What Factors Are Responsible And Solutions? by escapefromusa(f): 8:22pm On Feb 10, 2019 |
Family background is the no 1 reason. If you both come a family that stuck through thick and you will both stiick together through thick and thin. Many men were under achievers and a girl still took a risk and married him. Times got hard, yet she stayed and supported him. And they made it. Look at our parents .. many had nothing in the beggining .. today they have it all. No miracles in life. Its strictly based on goals and common interest. 1 Like |
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