Hi guys, as aguy in his 30 ties i met a lady who is from a different tribe and a bit on the plumb/big/chubby side though i dont have any thing against being on the big side the only thing i cant stand is an obessed person but based on certain reason that stopewd being an issue and i overlooked all physical looks as she her self made moves to kind of trim down but i refused to pressurise her to do so but told her to do it as she likes. the issue now however is WHAT IS THE FUTURE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, soon i need to get married, the test now is if our relationship can go from a dating relationship to a fiance/fiancee relationship?? so i decided to test the waters by letting my folks know who i was dating but at the end of the day they have one excuse or another why she should not be the one for me, ranging from If she is fat now she will explode after having kids, tribe, kind oif school she went to blah blah blah, Recently they saw a family friend who they felt is okay this made them seem to completely reject my present girl and are fully in favour of my starting a relationship with the new girl, i would not want to suddenly break a persons heart as i have never and will never be a player, the way the whole family thing goes THEY ARE NOT LIKELY TO FULLY ACCEPT MY GIRLFRIEND if i try to "upgrade " her status not that i can force matters but i think it is better to be carefull in family matters still when everybody wants someone else. as the other person in question the chemistry is very perfect and we get along very well as friends but no deep relationship. what do i do? my girl may not fully understand what is on ground and i dont want a bad situation in future if we cant upgrade our relationship?

You always let other people decide for you on who you want to settle down with? Grow a pair buddy.

deniyor:

You always let other people decide for you on who you want to settle down with? Grow a pair buddy.

He need ur advice hence dis post.

Creamdream, I can understand how you feel, though u don't allow just anybody to decide for you on issues like dis, but at the same time, families are not to be ignored easily, (you can go against their wish but you have to be FULLY CONVINCED

Dealing with the most sensitive issue of your life, requires utmost care.

I suggest you 1st, pray about it, THEN SUBJECT IT TO THE TEST OF TIME. (at least six months)
b4 the end of 3 months you may not need nairalanders to suggest as da 1 u will live with would have been made manifest to you.

I wish you da best.

Be a man - and make your own decision.Dont let your family do that for you. At the end of the day-- you are the one that has to live with her at night, and go home to her, The grass is not always greener on the other side!

@ poster

An illiterate like you should be grateful even if it was a gutter rat that looked your way.

Nonsense!

michelin89:

@ poster

An illiterate like you should be grateful even if it was a gutter rat that looked your way.

Nonsense!

to be abusive is not a good trait in a woman

I think you should listen to ds 700. Who you marry can make or mar you. U need God's guidance. Pray,open your heart and listen to hear from God. All the best.

double08:

to be abusive is not a good trait in a woman

And to be an amebo is not a good trait in a man!

michelin89:

And to be an amebo is not a good trait in a man!

michelin89:

And to be an amebo is not a good trait in a man!

please xplain who be the amebo for here?

ds700:

He need your advice hence dis post.

Creamdream, I can understand how you feel, though u don't allow just anybody to decide for you on issues like dis, but at the same time, families are not to be ignored easily, (you can go against their wish but you have to be FULLY CONVINCED

Dealing with the most sensitive issue of your life, requires utmost care.

I suggest you 1st, pray about it, THEN SUBJECT IT TO THE TEST OF TIME. (at least six months)
b4 the end of 3 months you may not need nairalanders to suggest as da 1 u will live with would have been made manifest to you.

I wish you da best.

   @ Ds700        thanks for sharing your thoughts on the matter above, i am willing to subject the whole matter to the test of time and the GOD factor is also a good idea, his wisdom is idespensible

@ double08     
   LOL  thanks    let it go, maturity demands that one does not have to dignify every nasty comment with a reply. its simply not worth the time and stress. God bless you!!

  thanks you all!! i believe one has to chose for himself but wisdom and diplomacy might come in handy though its easier said than done!!

Welcome.