My mom has been sick for some years now and 2 of her brothers refused to come see her talk less of asking about her health because of some kind of misunderstanding in their family, and these my 2 uncles are the rich ones, we her children have been taking care of her since then with the little we have, my mom died yesterday ( may her soul rest in peace) and these my shameful Uncles were here this morning asking us about burial arrangements, please dear nairalanders what are we suppose to tell them or do?

Tell dem u dont need big funeral for ur mum. U n ur siblings sud arrange d little burial u can.

Sorry about your loss... But tell them you guys have been handling your family affaires... u can still do it.... please do not say it as if they owe you something...

Only be angry when they try to impose something that you guys cannot accept...

Quick question... If they give you guys money for the funeral would u accept it? Before answering this, First think.. what would mum do or think in such situations

if you can pay for the funeral yourself then tell them:"thanks, but NO thanks!"

family relationships can be dicey. u never can tell what happened between them. anyways it is when you are in trouble that you know your friends. since they didn't stay when mama was ill tell them u will do the little u can for Mama and if they offer money, tell them no. if they want to do anything let them do it, but they should not involve u guys.

you knew your mum.
would she want them at her funeral?
if she wouldn't, pls don't involve them.
if she wouldnt mind, then let them play their part in burying their sister.

Well the fight is not yours. Let it end with their generation biko. Tell them you plan something small and invite them to come if they want. May God rest your mom well. E Pele.

sisisioge:
Well the fight is not yours. Let it end with their generation biko. Tell them you plan something small and invite them to come if they want. May God rest your mom well. E Pele.

i dont know about you, but if while they were alive my parents didnt want to squash any issues they had with their family members, i certainly wouldnt allow these same people at the funeral. we certainly can now squash the beef (aka between me and uncles/aunts) but the beef they had with my parent will remain til they all meet in the afterlife.

This is the time you'll pass the real test bro, be wise as a serpent if you form bravado, they will team up to intimidate you. Carry them along in your plans or they will treat your fuckup.

Do what your intuition tells you to, it won't fail you
Then discuss your ideas and plans with your siblings, and also putting in mind what your mother would have wanted. Whether their(your Uncles) presence will be of significance or not
If at all you and siblings can settle all of the expences her burial require on the scale you're planning, then don't ask for(I'm sure you won't) or accept funds from your Uncles who didn't honour her when she was still alive.
Collecting money from them would only add to their vile ego and they would use that as an opportunity to find an opening to you guys.
So you could just let them come witness their sister's burial, I mean its their right after all(a stupid right if you ask me).
So basically just do your agreement with your loved ones and hearken to your intuitions, God is with you.
Stay comforted! in Jesus name.

Rip...

Pour them acid

RIP to your mom.

You are in the best position to say na...
Good luck.

lucind:
My mom has been sick for some years now and 2 of her brothers refused to come see her talk less of asking about her health because of some kind of misunderstanding in their family, and these my 2 uncles are the rich ones, we her children have been taking care of her since then with the little we have, my mom died yesterday ( may her soul rest in peace) and these my shameful Uncles were here this morning asking us about burial arrangements, please dear nairalanders what are we suppose to tell them or do?

the dead should be honored.
I bet your mother's spirit will be angry with you if you let those hateful people near her corpse. Uncles! Men who couldn't mend the family....

MrBrownJay1:


i dont know about you, but if while they were alive my parents didnt want to squash any issues they had with their family members, i certainly wouldnt allow these same people at the funeral. we certainly can now squash the beef (aka between me and uncles/aunts) but the beef they had with my parent will remain til they all meet in the afterlife.

I won't bother. I will just handle the burial and invite them like normal guests. Yes, let them go and make peace in heaven if they like. The fight isn't mine. This is how feud is passed from generation to generation jare...I'm not interested. I will just handle them like casual strangers.

sisisioge:



I won't bother. I will just handle the burial and invite them like normal guests. Yes, let them go and make peace in heaven if they like. The fight isn't mine. This is how feud is passed from generation to generation jare...I'm not interested. I will just handle them like casual strangers.

invite people at the funeral that were against my late parent when they were alive?!?!?!?!?!

[img]https://media1./images/47c1375dc97507e3e1edfe06b7715ea7/tenor.gif[/img]

[img]https://media1./images/92568bbb64124180593b9a2a26115f20/tenor.gif[/img]

May her soul Rest in peace

sisisioge:




I won't bother. I will just handle the burial and invite them like normal guests. Yes, let them go and make peace in heaven if they like. The fight isn't mine. This is how feud is passed from generation to generation jare...I'm not interested. I will just handle them like casual strangers.

until your great grand kids want to get married, they'll now saw one ancestor was not buried properly.. Best bet just tolerate them for the ceremony, and thereafter cut them off.

MrBrownJay1:


invite people at the funeral that were against my late parent when they were alive?!?!?!?!?!

[img]https://media1./images/47c1375dc97507e3e1edfe06b7715ea7/tenor.gif[/img]

[img]https://media1./images/92568bbb64124180593b9a2a26115f20/tenor.gif[/img]

You've got to calm down daddy...we've got to embrace peace.

sisisioge:


You've got to calm down daddy...we've got to embrace peace.

if there is no peace in life, there can be NO PEACE in death... none in my world at least!

My condolences, OP.

FatherCHRISTMAS:
the dead should be honored.
I bet your mother's spirit will be angry with you if you let those hateful people near her corpse. Uncles! Men who couldn't mend the family....

You are absolutely correct, Even my mom before her death told us never to let them see her corpse.

^ In that case, Lucind, please honor your mom's wishes. You and your siblings need to stick together. My condolences once again.

thank you all for your contributions, we have resolved not to allow them participate in the burial, they won't near her corpse, my mom still have other 2 brothers and those will stand in as her family member, we will bury her with the little we have, we don't need their money.

Do not involve yourself with any family feuds. Since your mom and his siblings refused to settle their scores while your mom was alive, leave them with their issues.

Before you castigate your uncles, try to turn the table and imagine what your mom would do in a similar situation. While she was alive (before the sickness), did she try to make peace with the family? Did she make positive efforts to settle with her siblings?

Unless you have a detailed or thorough understanding of the issues, you might make a biased judgement. As far as your uncles weren't directly involved with her sickness/death, I would advise you to thread with caution. Bury your mom in peace and involve her husband's (your dad) family. If her bride price was properly paid, then her siblings have little or no role to play in the first place.


RIP to your mom.

Sorry for the loss, in your own little way, bury your mother, don't involve them. Let all the children be in one accord. The Lord is your strength

Even in the tiniest way bury your mom without them.

lucind:
You are absolutely correct, Even my mom before her death told us never to let them see her corpse.

.

So why are you asking again