Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? - Family (3)

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Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by dayokanu(m): 4:46pm On Sep 16, 2010

tensor777:

Yes but what if she really wants to go back home? In that case getting a Nigerian born carer is very unlikely to assuage her.

The OP said her mom doesnt want to go back to Naija but her siblings want to make her.

Why would a 67yr old woman want to go back to a place where Armed robbers beat her black and blue in her last visit?

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by ada24: 4:48pm On Sep 16, 2010

some people just like trouble.

what having a visa dashed to u has anything to do with anything is beyond me, ur either in the west by birth, or immigration. now having a visa is used as insult. na wah o!!

many people have given their advice to the poster why the fighting is beyond me.

health care in nigeria and UK is not comparable - just cos there are a few nice hospitals in lagos and abuja does not equate to what the majority of 150milion people have access to. there are failings in the UK system (boy do some of us know it!!) but i would rather be treated here for an illness than nigeria. THAT IS MY PERSONAL CHOICE.

Poster - ur mum might be nigerian but exposing her to the possibility of catching malaria after 40 years - chineke!!!!!!!

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kadman(m): 4:53pm On Sep 16, 2010

ada24:

some people just like trouble.

what having a visa dashed to u has anything to do with anything is beyond me, your either in the west by birth, or immigration. now having a visa is used as insult. na wah o!!

many people have given their advice to the poster why the fighting is beyond me.

health care in nigeria and UK is not comparable - just cos there are a few nice hospitals in lagos and abuja does not equate to what the majority of 150milion people have access to. there are failings in the UK system (boy do some of us know it!!) but i would rather be treated here for an illness than nigeria. THAT IS MY PERSONAL CHOICE.

Poster - your mum might be nigerian but exposing her to the possibility of catching malaria after 40 years - chineke!!!!!!!

Lol, thank you very much. When i first saw the mad woman's post I didn't want to reply to avoid trouble, till I looked at her profile and saw her other posts, she is busy abusing people in every post she makes all over nairaland. She is looking for trouble and I am free all today to give it to her.
Some people think it's their family than own nairaland (because they have no life outside it), you must not post anything contrary to their opinion or it's trouble, they never hala.

Yes they dash me visa, I didn't pay embassy application for it. B.astard, she will tell me how her ugly hag a@@ got to where she is. Oloshi jati jati.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Nobody: 4:56pm On Sep 16, 2010

dayokanu:

The OP said her mom doesnt want to go back to Naija but her siblings want to make her.

Why would a 67yr old woman want to go back to a place where Armed robbers beat her black and blue in her last visit?

I have already said she should only go back only on her own promptings, and definitely not as a result of being made to feel a burden.

If that is the case then she should have already factored in infrastructural issues before catching her flight especially for someone that was born and bred in Nigeria and has been an on and off visitor to the country for some years.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Nobody: 5:01pm On Sep 16, 2010

ada24:

health care in nigeria and UK is not comparable - just cos there are a few nice hospitals in lagos and abuja does not equate to what the majority of 150milion people have access to. there are failings in the UK system (boy do some of us know it!!) but i would rather be treated here for an illness than nigeria. THAT IS MY PERSONAL CHOICE.

I stilll don't get why you felt you had to post that. Who in their right mind would compare the 2 health care delivery systems?

And how do you know that the woman would not have access to the nice hospitals in Nigeria??

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Orilee9ice(m): 5:06pm On Sep 16, 2010

Omg plEeeeeeezzzzzeeeee u dis guy wake up man

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kadman(m): 5:13pm On Sep 16, 2010

Orilee9ice:

Omg plEeeeeeezzzzzeeeee u dis guy wake up man

Some people no dey gree wake up, na to dey argue blindly, when I mentioned the unavailability of some things, he never replied that but instead kept on going back to my post about my personal experience. It's a symptom with nairalanders.

And he mentioned that no one compared the 2 systems. Hmm, the thread is only 3 pages long, still short enough to read through before replying.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kingwills(m): 5:34pm On Sep 16, 2010

My advise is for her to stay back when she get well enough then you can bring her back.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by r231(m): 5:45pm On Sep 16, 2010

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by usbcable(m): 8:04pm On Sep 16, 2010

The only reason I would suggest Gemma let his mum stay back in the u.k. Is due to her spending a greater part of her lifetime there.
As per Nigeria not being romantic, I beg to differ. If Nigeria is TOTALLY BORING then no one will be getting married, have kids train them here, have friends around and so on. Moreover, if for the mere fact that elderly people that have spent most of there lives here prefer to stay here shows that if you have a good means of sustainance Nigeria aint a bad place to be.
I think if you have £350k which is equivalent to 80 million naira, haba that is more than enough to enjoy life and death to the fullest here.
And about the security issue, you need to take more precautions.
But all said let the mum stay there she is used to life as a britiko and not a 9ja mama.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kuntama: 10:54pm On Sep 16, 2010

To the original poster, Gemma:
ARE YOU MAD

The healthcare system in Nigeria is non-existent. I'm a doctor and have experienced both sides- Western and Nigerian, so I should know.
It's not the medical knowledge that kills time and time again; it's the lack of equipment. SIMPLE, BASIC equipment to make the most simple diagnoses.
Your mother's diabetic- ok, what happens when they run out of glucometers? And you can bet your backside either her stock or the hospitals will. With that most basic of equipment (which costs less than 10pence) you cannot accurately treat the condition.
FOR SHAME!
I have a nasty suspicion that its the equity in the house that's driving your siblings to send your mother back to Nigeria.
You know, there's a simple way of looking at Nigeria: it doesn't matter how much money you have, the health care just isn't there, PERIOD.

To all those who may call me a Naija basher: the truth hurts
X

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by mrgbite(m): 12:07am On Sep 17, 2010

Wonder what the brouhaha is all about. @OP, she is your mother and has taken care of you all her life,so why considering "dumping" her back to Nigeria when her health is failing? well,the options are not many. You and your siblings may either act like africans and nurse her back to good health, watch over her and monitor her lifestyle or act the oyinbo and get a carer for her, either way its your prerogative afterall she is YOUR mother,
And for all those making so much hype about Naija healthcare viz a viz the UK NHS, Yes most govt. hospitals in naija are below par, but by western european standards, the NHS itself is absolute crap. you need to understand that when an African gets to the age of your mother, she needs more the care and attention of her children and extended family in addition to her medications than the availability of some fancy hospitals with morgues filled to the brim.That she has lived most of her life in the U.K doesnt change that, afterall she still devours eba, okporokpo and other oroshirishis

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kuntama: 12:35am On Sep 17, 2010

mrgbite:

Wonder what the brouhaha is all about. @OP, she is your mother and has taken care of you all her life,so why considering "dumping" her back to Nigeria when her health is failing? well,the options are not many. You and your siblings may either act like africans and nurse her back to good health, watch over her and monitor her lifestyle or act the oyinbo and get a carer for her, either way its your prerogative afterall she is YOUR mother,
And for all those making so much hype about Naija healthcare viz a viz the UK NHS, Yes most govt. hospitals in naija are below par, but by western european standards, the NHS itself is absolute crap. you need to understand that when an African gets to the age of your mother, she needs more the care and attention of her children and extended family in addition to her medications than the availability of some fancy hospitals with morgues filled to the brim.That she has lived most of her life in the U.K doesnt change that, afterall she still devours eba, okporokpo and other oroshirishis

Mate, you are talking so much bullshit. The NHS has one of the best emergency healthcare delivery systems in the world.
Anyway, we are comparing the NHS to NIGERIAN HOSPITALS, not other western hospitals.

What kind of S --it is that about?: when an "AFRICAN" gets to her age! ALL human beings deserve the care and attention of loved ones.

Where on earth do you get your facts from? Hospitals brimming with dead bodies? Have you been to the so-called morgues of Naija hospitals lately?
And Yes, now I'm really going to insult you as the illiterate crap that you are spewing is getting to me. If you really want this woman to get the best for her mother, she needs to make an informed decision, not based on the boastful, 419 lies that nigerians seem so keen on spewing. You, my dear are the kind of person that prevents any kind of visionary, logical and coherent planning that nigerians need for their country. JUST GO AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL- SHUT UP AND LET THE LIGHT SHINE ON THAT CESSPIT THEY CALL NIGERIA SO WE CAN ACTUALLY CLEAN IT.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kabukabu(m): 2:33am On Sep 17, 2010

kuntama:

To the original poster, Gemma:
ARE YOU MAD

The healthcare system in Nigeria is non-existent. I'm a doctor and have experienced both sides- Western and Nigerian, so I should know.
It's not the medical knowledge that kills time and time again; it's the lack of equipment. SIMPLE, BASIC equipment to make the most simple diagnoses.
Your mother's diabetic- ok, what happens when they run out of glucometers? And you can bet your backside either her stock or the hospitals will. With that most basic of equipment (which costs less than 10pence) you cannot accurately treat the condition.
FOR SHAME!
I have a nasty suspicion that its the equity in the house that's driving your siblings to send your mother back to Nigeria.
You know, there's a simple way of looking at Nigeria: it doesn't matter how much money you have, the health care just isn't there, PERIOD.

To all those who may call me a Naija basher: the truth hurts
X

Very true, nigerian healthcare is rubbish, glad my mom is now in the states where she gets the right treatment,anytime she wants with all the therapy and medicines she needs, have lost too many family folks to naija failed healthcare system

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by tpiah: 4:31am On Sep 17, 2010

ada24:

Poster - your mum might be nigerian but exposing her to the possibility of catching malaria after 40 years - chineke!!!!!!!

OMG see illiteracy.

and you wonder why other countries dont respect you!

why are these visa officials dashing out visas anyhow!!!!!

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by tpiah: 4:34am On Sep 17, 2010

kuntama:

To the original poster, Gemma:
ARE YOU MAD

The healthcare system in Nigeria is non-existent. I'm a doctor and have experienced both sides- Western and Nigerian, so I should know.
It's not the medical knowledge that kills time and time again; it's the lack of equipment. SIMPLE, BASIC equipment to make the most simple diagnoses.
Your mother's diabetic- ok, what happens when they run out of glucometers? And you can bet your backside either her stock or the hospitals will. With that most basic of equipment (which costs less than 10pence) you cannot accurately treat the condition.
FOR SHAME!
I have a nasty suspicion that its the equity in the house that's driving your siblings to send your mother back to Nigeria.
You know, there's a simple way of looking at Nigeria: it doesn't matter how much money you have, the health care just isn't there, PERIOD.

To all those who may call me a Naija basher: the truth hurts
X

kuntama:

Again! How we love to pull each other down.

kuntama:

Shouldn't there be a health section?

I nominate myself for the health section
Regards

kuntama:

Who cares. Internet forums and globalisation mean I can be anybody/thing I please.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Asbo from East Harlem.
Regards

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kuntama: 7:32am On Sep 17, 2010

tpiah:

And your point is?
As usual, the above posts by myself have to be taken in context- a lot were done tongue in cheek.
WHAT is your point exactly?
My sarcasm/denigratory remarks/witty repertoires?
WHAT EXACTLY? You're going to have to be more explicit.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by snthesis(m): 7:42am On Sep 17, 2010

Gemma11:

My mum is 67 and has lived in England since she was in her early 20s. The last time she went back to Nigeria in 1997 she was attacked by armed robbers. My other siblings are now devsiing a plan to send her back to Nigeria. The plan is to sell her house which will bring in around £350k and buy a property in Nigeria where she can stay with my older sister, who also has her own life in Nigeria.

bloody, ungrateful,disgusting coup plotters! angry

ur siblings and urself ought to be totally ashamed of urselves- hw cud u eva tink of such a solution.
dats d problem with the world today- nobody gives a damn abt d oda, no one ws to bear/share d burden of another, no one truly cares, we r jst out to satisfy "self"
keep deceivig urselves dat ur looking @d big picture- wat ur mum deserves is ur LOVE/companionship/ care, u dont have to be there 24/7 but d reassurance of knowing her children ar closeby is more than all d money in the world-dumping her@ d moment of need is totally heartless.
hav u eva considered dat it ws easier aborting u and ur siblings rada dan taking the pains of raising u up,
u guys ar rili sic-or perhaps jst misguided dnt cross ur mum else u'll end up in regret all ur lives-karma is a biatch angry

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by chika98: 8:07am On Sep 17, 2010

The fact that anyone would compare health care in Nigeria
with the West is laughable and ought to be IGNORED!

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Orilee9ice(m): 8:40am On Sep 17, 2010

This is the problem with us nigerians we think we know everything and are the best thing since sliced bread when in fact let me know go there jare, the op wanted advice simple advice oh folks and what is she getting, abuse, arguments, insults, and I- too- knows (ITK'S) having a go at each other thank god we went to school oh or some peeps on here would make u feel inferior with their big big grammar o gaa 4 u guys oh plez can we keep it to simple advice and keep your self rightousness to ya'selves ha ha, ki lo de

, sorry o Gemma11, I am sure this is not what u were expecting and I am sure the kids are not after the equity of their mums house when they have their own like someone suggested on here as well. So guys ewo la tun fe gbo ooo , Selah

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by ada24: 9:12am On Sep 17, 2010

tpiah:

OMG see illiteracy.

and you wonder why other countries dont respect you!

why are these visa officials dashing out visas anyhow!!!!!

i now see u have something against me no problem sha - like i said my maid is typing this for me as i dictate - or don't u know what the word illiterate means again.

no one dashed me or any of my siblings visa darling - this visa u keep shouting about all u have to do is put in your appeal letter and i'm sure your own too will be dashed to you. na wah o see nonsense and i thought i was the one allowed to be hormonal in my condition. i'll let your insults go cos i have days like that when i'm just annoyed for no reason as well.

try some herbal tea love - heard it cools the temper down, or book in a day spa, I hear u can get one on last minute.com for £30.

God bless wink

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Orilee9ice(m): 9:22am On Sep 17, 2010

no one dashed me or any of my siblings visa darling - this visa u keep shouting about all u have to do is put in your appeal letter and i'm sure your own too will be dashed to you. na wah o see nonsense and i thought i was the one allowed to be hormonal in my condition. i'll let your insults go cos i have days like that when i'm just annoyed for no reason as well.

@ada24, 9ice one girl!, wink

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by vanitty: 9:23am On Sep 17, 2010

First of all the woman is 67 years old not 97 undecided

, why should you even control her finance at that age

so you are busy devising to sell her house, ship her to Nigeria without her say-so. How bloody ungrateful are you lots, are you the only one in Britain with aged mothers, so because una get live off your own, your mother is now a nuisance
Olorun maje ki ni omo oran. shior. Shame on all of you.

Anyway since your question was how much time will £350k actually last- I will say not a lot, by the time you guys have bought the property, make her comfortable enough by the standards she is used to, the money will properly be zero, but since all you want to do is work work work, you should be able to maintain her lifestyle. Good luck kiss

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kunyeo(m): 9:32am On Sep 17, 2010

It is not really in our culture to abandon our parents in their feeble old age.African take care of their parents.Dont forget,it is a matter of time,you yourself would soon become feeble.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by kadman(m): 9:37am On Sep 17, 2010

ada24:

i now see u have something against me no problem sha - like i said my maid is typing this for me as i dictate - or don't u know what the word illiterate means again.

no one dashed me or any of my siblings visa darling - this visa u keep shouting about all u have to do is put in your appeal letter and i'm sure your own too will be dashed to you. na wah o see nonsense and i thought i was the one allowed to be hormonal in my condition. i'll let your insults go cos i have days like that when i'm just annoyed for no reason as well.

try some herbal tea love - heard it cools the temper down, or book in a day spa, I hear u can get one on last minute.com for £30.

God bless

She has nothing against you, she's like that with everyone. She's an evil fiend constantly looking for trouble.
And don't let anything go. I've let it go with her before, too many people let it go, that's why she has a deluded feeling of self entitlement on here.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Orilee9ice(m): 9:39am On Sep 17, 2010

She has nothing against you, she's like that with everyone. She's an evil fiend constantly looking for trouble.
And don't let anything go. I've let it go with her before, too many people let it go, that's why she has a deluded feeling of self entitlement on here.

@ Kadman, hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (lehin aponle, abuku lo kan!, lol)

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by ada24: 9:40am On Sep 17, 2010

vanitty:

First of all the woman is 67 years old not 97 , why should you even control her finance at that age so you are busy devising to sell her house, ship her to Nigeria without her say-so. How bloody ungrateful are you lots, are you the only one in Britain with aged mothers, so because una get live off your own, your mother is now a nuisance
Olorun maje ki ni omo oran. shior. Shame on all of you.

Anyway since your question was how much time will £350k actually last- I will say not a lot, by the time you guys have bought the property, make her comfortable enough by the standards she is used to, the money will properly be zero, but since all you want to do is work work work, you should be able to maintain her lifestyle. Good luck

hey hey - i don't know the poster but that is harsh - i truely believe that they want the best for their mother, 80 million naira after buying a nice property and putting in the infrastucture she is used to will not last - we both know that but not everyone who has lived in the UK for A VERY LONG TIME understand that. maybe she has asked her children to control her finances - after all she is diabetic not suffering from dementia. I think the main point is this - neither of the kids can give up their job and live on a carers allowance to take care of their mother, I think once someone gets to that age its more a support system and people her own age she needs to interact with. maybe she should join a church group or like i said maybe rent out a room or get a carer to come round to look after her and also to have that human interaction we as human beings need.

personally like a lot of people have mentioned her don't send her back - for various reasons not just the medical one - she has lived most of her life here - this is home for her. being beaten up by armed robbers is no joke, and i doubt she wants to put herself in a situation where she can be exposed to that or even worse, cos lets be honest if she was only around for a holiday when it happened - it was an inside job!!!

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by ada24: 9:45am On Sep 17, 2010

Orilee9ice:

@ada24, 9ice one girl!,

kadman:

She has nothing against you, she's like that with everyone. She's an evil fiend constantly looking for trouble.
And don't let anything go. I've let it go with her before, too many people let it go, that's why she has a deluded feeling of self entitlement on here.

see me see trouble o!! not only am i still dealing with morning sickness at 6months this person is looking for my trouble and decided to single me out for her immature insults - maybe if i hadn't gone to school my complex would take her illiterate comment to heart but since that is the only thing she can shout at me and this visa thing (i don't even know what a visa looks like self) i'll leave her be. u know sometimes i wake up in a foul mood so i can understand her nonsense the human mind can be a simple thing when u open ur mind to its greatness and stupidity.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by Orilee9ice(m): 9:51am On Sep 17, 2010

see me see trouble o!! not only am i still dealing with morning sickness at 6months this person is looking for my trouble and decided to single me out for her immature insults - maybe if i hadn't gone to school my complex would take her illiterate comment to heart but since that is the only thing she can shout at me and this visa thing (i don't even know what a visa looks like self) i'll leave her be. u know sometimes i wake up in a foul mood so i can understand her nonsense the human mind can be a simple thing when u open your mind to its greatness and stupidity.

@ada26, eyaaaaaaaa! on a lighter mood jare my sistha, plez concentrate on the baby-to be and dont let the "ya-ki-ri-yak" on there worry u, if u are yoruba, i would say , [i]asokale anfani oh!.[/i]meaning, safe delivery oh in English, grin

cos lets be honest if she was only around for a holiday when it happened - it was an inside job!!!

come 2 think of it, food 4 thot oh, hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by abujaddan: 9:55am On Sep 17, 2010

dont

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by vanitty: 10:05am On Sep 17, 2010

Anyway na me get time sef.
Unless she has signed the deed of her house to you, you cannot sell it legally.
I hope you are not going to court to declare your mum legally incapable because of this "devising" you guys are talking about.

Re: Would You Send Your Elderly Parent Back To Nigeria? by martinosi: 10:20am On Sep 17, 2010

ada24:

abeg where is the insult.

yes i'm an illeterate - my housegirl is writing as i dictate

your too hypersensitive. abeg person no fit respond again to topic, think my first post adressed the question asked with no insult, or should my parents ask for a refund of my school fees cos maybe i'm not reading right - damn i always knew i was borderline dyslexic

so that i can move on and go to sleep, to answer the OP my answer is no!!!

Ada, dont mind this guy, he character and attitude
is lacking in refinement lol, and he lives in Lekki, Lagos!!!

LOL, i have just come back from Nigeria last week having been there
for a month and i can see that even the "rich-folk" and the rich area
of places like Lekki in Lagos are feeling the Pressure of the
decay,

tpiah is always fighting with people online from his
40 million naira mansion in lekki

- Now if thats Tpiah, God help
the average Nigerian in Oshodi!!!

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