Marbella003:
I have a main account but I decided to create this one to post this in order to avoid embarrassment or reveal my identity.

I got married 4 years ago to my husband. He was in his 40s and I was in my 20s. The age difference between us has never really been a problem as we are both educated, well spoken, have similar personalities and share a lot of interests, and as a result we mesh well. My husband is a very caring and thoughtful man. This is one of the traits that made me fall helplessly for him, along with his intelligence and fun personality. I will not reveal anything pertaining to kids as this might punch a hole in my wall of anonymity.

I've always loved my husband and I still do. But I've never really been sexually attracted to him. This is not to say that I find him unattractive. No. He is okay as far as physical appearance goes, but his look has never been the kind to turn me on sexually. To put it plainly, I find that I'm only sexually attracted to young men around my age with tall, athletic bodies and with the energy and agility to please a woman satisfyingly in the bedroom. I met this kind of man in my work place and after we talked a few times I couldn't help but become attracted to him. I realized he was also attracted me, and fast forward to a week ago, we had sex in a hotel room.

I'm ashamed to admit that sex with him was glorious, but it truly was. It was better than anything I had ever done with my husband. I loved how he tossed me around the bed and did stuff to me that my husband doesn't do and I liked how ever part of his body felt firm and strong. After the act I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I recognized that I had committed an atrocity and I knew I had broken my marriage vows. The guilt of what I had done followed me around like a stench. I hated myself for betraying a man that had always loved and cared for me.

The problem I now face is that despite the guilt and the shame I constantly feel, I still yearn to experience another period of sexual bliss with my colleague. I can't help it. I'm torn. I already told my colleague that that one time was the last but deep down I don't want it to be. I know that if I tell my husband about what I did, that it would mark the end of my relationship with my colleague, but I don't know exactly how my husband would receive this information. I don't want him to look at me and see a betrayer of trust; a woman lacking integrity and virtue. No. I even thought of resigning from my job or requesting a transfer so as not to be in close proximity with my colleague but I know that wouldn't solve anything as I still have his social media info and occasionally stalk him(yes I do). I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do.

Your dilemma is understandable, but you need a sound therapist to help you out if this is not an attempt at becoming a story teller, trying to write a book of fiction.

The annoying part of sexual escapades is that you end up looking like a fool. You'll soon exhaust that euphoria of sleeping with such a guy, painfully he'll dump you for another lady with shallow thinking. Didn't he know that you are married?

Coming back to your husband, even if you're going to still tell him, maybe not now, or else, be ready to leave that marriage. That man, with the way you have described him, may not forgive you easily.

However, your sexual life is also key, the problem is that we have a culture that is very deceptive and people not real with their feelings. All you need do to get that man to the level of sexual excitement you want is openly talk about it with him. You can both learn better ways of enjoying your sexual relationship.

For the non-enjoyment of the sex, you're both guilty.

As a relationship counsellor, I know you need a few more information. All the best.

JasonScoolari:
I have to agree with you on this bro... But in my opinion, I think women can handle it more than us.

The thought of it alone can consume any man in split seconds.

Good morning friend.

good morning to u too. Don't u think, women's internalization of thoughts and feelings is what makes u think they handle it than men?? And internalization of thoughts and feelings towards cheating doesn't make women better than men but worse! Women may hide their resentments and hurt and reprimand in ways u don't know or revenge cheat and men would externalize their thoughts and feelings. A man may case chaos and say he forgives and really forgive. But a woman might not externalize her thoughts and that makes the matter go on forever.

Pls are my points true or not. And do women really handle it better or not

I am not going to judge you, but make sure you don't fall for that guy and don't tell your husband.

We don't forgive a cheating wife, no matter how nice we play along.

Believe me, if you try that game with the guy again you would definitely love him and this is going to unleash you as an Adulterer.

Right now, you are not, until you do it the second time. You can always wave it away as stupid mistake. But indulging the second time, would harden your heart.

A major thing we need to realise is that sex life in a relationship is as important as anything.

Saffi:
Men cannot handle cheating partners mentally like women do and that is just the truth. If you tell him now, the thought of you opening your legs to another man will constantly play in his head when he looks at you, which will eventually ruin your marriage. As a woman, if you cheat on your husband, you must take it to the grave otherwise you have yourself to blame.

To the sex part, encourage your hubby to look appealing for you. Work out together, eat well, mould him into the man that you want him to be physically. Tell him what you want him to do in bed. There’s only so much you can do, but for the sake of your vows and your home, good sex is really not worth it. You have to mentally train yourself to avoid temptation, that is the only way to stay faithful. And realistically most couples go through this at one point, so don’t beat yourself up too much. Dust your shoulders and do better and do not risk your family and your marriage for prick again. It is a temporary satisfaction and You will regret it.

this ur mentality fit kill person

dview001:
keeping fvcking your colleague since your heart wants him, keep it a secret cos what your husband doesn't know won't kill him.


But hear me this is how your story will end: after a 2nd round with this " glorious sex giver" you'll fell in love with him and become very attached , you'll start planning on killing your husband but because he's a good man and u don't want blood on your hands , you will sluggishly give him a divorce , he'll plead but your heart is hardened , you and your glorious sex giver will move in together planning marriage, your husband will decide to move on but b4 doing that he will want to affirm the paternity of the kids and then BOOM he'd discover He's not the real father ( you've been a wh*re from day 1) he'll then bring the kids to your work place dump them with you and leaves, move to another state and starts afresh, months later your glorious sex giver starts giving u attitude cos he's tired of you and he'll suddenly leaves you for a sexier girl , Now all the guys at your workplace will know you're a free giver and they'll sweet-mouth you and get their own share of the pvssy , but karma makes you loose your job and will never find another and you'll end up in a brothel selling your body for 500naira ...suddenly both of the kids will die and you'll continue selling your body till the pussy is worn out ...and you'll die a useless death with no honour, no husband no kids ...but you'll be a FULFILLED WH*RE

Ahhh!! Easy naa this is too harsh

truthsayer009:


How is the husband going to find out if she doesn't say anything?

The truth is nothing is hidden forever

zicoraads:
What is wrong with this generation? Don't we have any shame at all? Nowadays, I'm even scared of meeting anyone and committing. It's as if no single person can be trusted to remain faithful in a relationship.

Brother you took the words out of my mouth. The only time I consider my girl to be mine is when she is with me. Once she goes to her place I zero my mind and just feel she could be in someone else's hands. You cant trust these ladies anymore, sad,sad,sad

Gym isn't the problem here. Its just the generational gap. Obviously a guy at 40 something would generally still want a younger pretty lady for marriage but then he may not have that high drive for sex especially if he married a trophy wife or just for procreation. It now depends on whether the woman can cope cos obviously the gifts of love such men can give just to win the lady over will leave these important issues not talked about.

Evtspez:
Getting more reasons why I won't marry

If you knew your conscience will hunt you like you described why cheat on your hubby? You should have analyse the long term effect of your actions instead of the 10minutes of pleasure.

Anyways, forgive yourself and turn a new leaf. Love you husband unconditionally and advice him to visit the gym occasionally
Cheers.

IDERAWOLE:


Your dilemma is understandable, but you need a sound therapist to help you out if this is not an attempt at becoming a story teller, trying to write a book of fiction.

The annoying part of sexual escapades is that you end up looking like a fool. You'll soon exhaust that euphoria of sleeping with such a guy, painfully he'll dump you for another lady with shallow thinking. Didn't he know that you are married?

Coming back to your husband, even if you're going to still tell him, maybe not now, or else, be ready to leave that marriage. That man, with the way you have described him, may not forgive you easily.

However, your sexual life is also key, the problem is that we have a culture that is very deceptive and people not real with their feelings. All you need do to get that man to the level of sexual excitement you want is openly talk about it with him. You can both learn better ways of enjoying your sexual relationship.

For the non-enjoyment of the sex, you're both guilty.

As a relationship counsellor, I know you need a few more information. All the best.

perfect advice. Less justification, more advice. This counsellor advice are normal things any positive minded person should be able to do without a professional counsellor but no

You are not the first neither would you be the last young lady,
Communicate your sexual frustrations to your husband...

Request for transfer...

Go and sin no more...

dview001:
keeping fvcking your colleague since your heart wants him, keep it a secret cos what your husband doesn't know won't kill him.


But hear me this is how your story will end: after a 2nd round with this " glorious sex giver" you'll fell in love with him and become very attached , you'll start planning on killing your husband but because he's a good man and u don't want blood on your hands , you will sluggishly give him a divorce , he'll plead but your heart is hardened , you and your glorious sex giver will move in together planning marriage, your husband will decide to move on but b4 doing that he will want to affirm the paternity of the kids and then BOOM he'd discover He's not the real father ( you've been a wh*re from day 1) he'll then bring the kids to your work place dump them with you and leaves, move to another state and starts afresh, months later your glorious sex giver starts giving u attitude cos he's tired of you and he'll suddenly leaves you for a sexier girl , Now all the guys at your workplace will know you're a free giver and they'll sweet-mouth you and get their own share of the pvssy , but karma makes you loose your job and will never find another and you'll end up in a brothel selling your body for 500naira ...suddenly both of the kids will die and you'll continue selling your body till the pussy is worn out ...and you'll die a useless death with no honour, no husband no kids ...but you'll be a FULFILLED WH*RE

lmao wtf... this is definitely a movie

You are not the first neither would you be the last young lady,
Communicate your sexual frustrations to your husband...

Request for transfer...

Go and sin no more.....

As a married man, I will advice you take this secret to the grave. Ask God forgiveness and disabuse your mind from the pleasure young studs offer you. It is very dangerous to seek sexial satisfaction outside your marriage. This applies to men and women. It brings complications. If you tell your husband about this incident your marriage is over. No amount of love will save this marriage

like dey say if a man cheats u won't know, emotions are checked.
if a woman cheat, she becomes confuse.

Shelumiel:
Then don't criticize it . Have a nice day

And U too Have a nice day.

divorce ur husband and marry ur colleague ..... u dnt deserve love u deserve sex so go get alot of it...when your satisfied find anoda man n marry. jus don't torture d poor man by staying and causing him shame.

Gowaga68 was here.

Acidosis:

Your man isn't the problem here. If e like, make e relocate go gym centre, your adventurous lifestyle will never be satisfied.

He should just resign & become a gym instructor.

Marbella003:
.

well for starters research have shown that cheaters normally feels a normal heighten sense of pleasure than normal maybe due to the fear of been caught and fear is tied to emotion. when such people leave their spouse and runaway with those they cheat with, the end is disappointing. secondly most of these young guys you see out there they are fund of taking a lot of stuff just to pleasure a woman especially when he knows its another mans wife.

don't be surprise you just get a dose of tramadol effect Lol.
also if tossing you around in bed is what you want, why don't you introduced those to your hubby. I don't support cheating in any form, my secret is never get bite what you can't chew and swallow the damage has already be done because if I am your hobby, forgiving will be very hard if possible.

BlueAir:
good morning to u too. Don't u think, women's internalization of thoughts and feelings is what makes u think they handle it than men?? And internalization of thoughts and feelings towards cheating doesn't make women better than men but worse! Women may hide their resentments and hurt and reprimand in ways u don't know or revenge cheat and men would externalize their thoughts and feelings. A man may case chaos and say he forgives and really forgive. But a woman might not externalize her thoughts and that makes the matter go on forever.

Pls are my points true or not. And do women really handle it better or not

Lol, you've done so well in your enlightenment and I've learnt something from you today. Many thanks bro.


What a way to start this month.

MrBrownJay1:
You have to be honest with WHO YOU ARE... Aka a betrayer of trust, a woman lacking virtue and integrity. And the earliest you accept that, the better it will be for BOTH of you. Why waste time pretending to be who you are not, pretending to live a life that ain't you. What you need is right there at work....so the choice is yours: be miserable for the rest of your life OR be honest and free yourself from this charade you call marriage.

I won't even dwell on how I would feel if I was that man and getting to find out the above by myself...

Take it easy on the woman. I'm sure you aren't a saint either. I hope you're not the man though.

Idk

Marbella003:
I have a main account but I decided to create this one to post this in order to avoid embarrassment or reveal my identity.

I got married 4 years ago to my husband. He was in his 40s and I was in my 20s. The age difference between us has never really been a problem as we are both educated, well spoken, have similar personalities and share a lot of interests, and as a result we mesh well. My husband is a very caring and thoughtful man. This is one of the traits that made me fall helplessly for him, along with his intelligence and fun personality. I will not reveal anything pertaining to kids as this might punch a hole in my wall of anonymity.

I've always loved my husband and I still do. But I've never really been sexually attracted to him. This is not to say that I find him unattractive. No. He is okay as far as physical appearance goes, but his look has never been the kind to turn me on sexually. To put it plainly, I find that I'm only sexually attracted to young men around my age with tall, athletic bodies and with the energy and agility to please a woman satisfyingly in the bedroom. I met this kind of man in my work place and after we talked a few times I couldn't help but become attracted to him. I realized he was also attracted me, and fast forward to a week ago, we had sex in a hotel room.

I'm ashamed to admit that sex with him was glorious, but it truly was. It was better than anything I had ever done with my husband. I loved how he tossed me around the bed and did stuff to me that my husband doesn't do and I liked how ever part of his body felt firm and strong. After the act I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I recognized that I had committed an atrocity and I knew I had broken my marriage vows. The guilt of what I had done followed me around like a stench. I hated myself for betraying a man that had always loved and cared for me.

The problem I now face is that despite the guilt and the shame I constantly feel, I still yearn to experience another period of sexual bliss with my colleague. I can't help it. I'm torn. I already told my colleague that that one time was the last but deep down I don't want it to be. I know that if I tell my husband about what I did, that it would mark the end of my relationship with my colleague, but I don't know exactly how my husband would receive this information. I don't want him to look at me and see a betrayer of trust; a woman lacking integrity and virtue. No. I even thought of resigning from my job or requesting a transfer so as not to be in close proximity with my colleague but I know that wouldn't solve anything as I still have his social media info and occasionally stalk him(yes I do). I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do.

useless woman... Cheap thing! I pray your husband finds out... Good men are often treated badly in relationships... I hate marriage! I really wish I have the words to explain how I feel for your useless self right now.... When you opened your legs like the way the red Sea was divided, your mind never ran to your husband n how he's busy working himself out to provide for the family while someone who doesn't even know how you n your husband both started is busy enjoying what your husband rightly owns, how he dipped his dick in your married pussy and dipped it out with all your creamy juices around it and in his mind, he calls you a Bleep mate but in your senseless mind, you've found what you been looking for and your husband can go to hell abi... Idiot! Shameless thing! Go on for another round n let's see how you'll conceal this for long... Madam scratchy cunt!

JasonScoolari:
Lol, you've done so well in your enlightenment and I've learnt something from you today. Many thanks bro.


What a way to start this month.

nice starting this month with u too bro. Thanks

truthsayer009:


How is the husband going to find out if she doesn't say anything?

Wall has ears bro, the guy she slept with might brag about it to his friends and among these friends one will want to try his luck he gets turn down he becomes jealous and sells her out

Any crime committed by more than one party you at risk bro. You can only trust yourself but not the other party/ies.

JasonScoolari:
Dear Marbella003,

I don't advice cheats, infact, I hate cheats whether a Man or Woman.... You did not advice yourself when your pussy was itching you.

Now you seek our advice after cheating on a good man. And you still feel like offering your pussy to the guy as a useless sex slave.

What a promiscuous Dog.


Get Lost. Filthy animal.

.. I so much love the way you said it without sugar coating. The funny thing is that she one of those that will be shouting men are scum, men are cheats up and down this forum but look at her opening legs for a colleague at work.Why is she not bold enough to use her main account,? Indeed she is a promiscuous Dog.

the religious ones here are annoying me with their comments.this is a human issue:more like why some people talk alot and some others dont talk much,and then you saying that loquacious people are sinners or that you who dont talk much are better humans,because of d bible.bullshit! loquacious and libidinous people will continue to exist for as long as the earth exist! its very normal to like sex too much! i hate all these perfectionistic and judgemental people sef

Move on, the deed is done.


No one is perfect, forgive yourself and move on. Sex is a beautiful thingy

BiggyB242:


Walls has ears bro, the guy she slept with might brag about it to his friends and among these friends one will want to try his luck he gets turn down he becomes jealous and sells her out.

Ah try luck ke? Untop married woman matter You pipu should fear God nau

My advice to people is you will always see 100% of menand women better and finer than your husband or wife...self control is the rule of the game.

Pick up your rag , do a self analysis of your mistake , learn from it and Move on..say no to adultery again..don't divorce , remember you are only a human, forgive yourself look into a mirror AND SPEAK SENSE TO YOUR BRAIN.It works..Tell yourself folake behave well otherwise the young guy will continue using you and you become sex slave to him.The young guy can never mary you..you are after 2..so free yourself now.Many women have done this before and got forgiveness from the God of all flesh.ASK FORGIVENESS FROM GOD AND MOVE ON.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. I so much love the way you said it without sugar coating. The funny thing is that she one of those that will be shouting men are scum, men are cheats up and down this forum but look at her opening legs for a colleague at work.Why is she not bold enough to use her main account,? Indeed she is a promiscuous Dog.

If we scrutinize your private life, you probably do worse. At least, she is honest.

OP, you have to move on.