Causes of Marital Crises
Marital crises could originate from different sources some of which could be psychological and / or psychosomatic in
nature. Tobin (2004) attesting to the above claim retorts that more and more marriages run into crisis and eventually pack
up because one partner has a borderline personality disorder such as narcissist, antisocial, psychopathic personality
disorders. These sort of people are abusers by nature where as some are even unaware or unconscious of their near
helpless conditions.
3.1 Social Incompatibility of Marriage Partners.
There is no doubt that some marriages have absolutely no foundation or basis for being contracted at the first instance.
This is so because the pair is socially incompatible and may only manage to get along for a short while before signs of
incompatibility would start to manifest. It would then be discovered that the couple are strange bed fellows - socially,
religiously and ideologically. Crises are bound to ensue in a situation where a marriage partner sets high and unrealistic
standards in the home. The fallibility of man is unquestionable and as such it is not possible that such idealistic standards
are realized. This is capable of degenerating into crisis in the home. Many married people become disillusioned when
they discover that their union is not all they had expected and that their spouse is not quite what they had envisioned
him/her to be (Awake, 2008). Additionally, some couples unrealistically expect to get more out of marriage than they put
into it.
3.2 Sexual Incompatibility
Poor sexual-satisfaction on the part of a marital partner may spice up crisis in the union which not properly-.and timely
detected and managed could lead to extramarital sexual affairs - a situation that if on its own leads to disaffection and
loss of trust.
3.3 Extreme Sexual Orientation
Extreme sexual orientation of one of a marriage partner is capable of endangering a marital union. Such orientations like
homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, sodomy, MouthAction, excessive sexual appetite especially when the other partner is at
the other extreme of the scale can generate crisis in the homes. Most of the time, such extreme sexual behaviours or
orientations are discovered rather too late or midway into the marriage that it becomes very difficult to pull out of the
engagement. And when once a partner cannot get along crisis ensues.
3.4 Extended Family Affairs/Issues.
Some once upon -a-time happy couples have had their marriages rocked for their inability to properly manage extended
family issues. In most cases, women find it difficult to accommodate relations of the husband (especially mothers and
sisters - in-law) and vice versa on the part of some husbands, a situation most marriage partners may find difficult to
accommodate. Some men/women often quarrel with spouses whose interests are only on the betterment of their own
relations.
Lack of Mutual Respect between Partners
Mutual respect for one's spouse is critical for marital union sustenance and lack of it is a crisis factor capable of rocking
even the strongest marital foundation of hitherto blissful homes. The Holy Bible admonishes couples thus: wives respect
your husband who in turn should love their wives as they would their own body. One can quickly assume that each of the
above mentioned conditions is a sine qua non for the other since a husband might find it difficult to continue to love a wife
who doesn't respect him or his authority; neither would a wife respect the husband who does not love her. Respect and
love are reciprocal variables in every marital union and as such, a spouse owes it an obligation to respect and love
his/her marriage partner, failure which fans the embers of marital discord and discontent.
3.6 Dishonesty and Moral Decadence
Dishonest behaviour coupled with moral decadence in the family can generate crisis in the home. A situation where a
couple cannot tell each other simple truth is not healthy for the union. Once such morality gap is discovered in any of the
spouses, mistrust sets in and confidence gradually gets eroded with crisis eventually taking over the home front. Poor
morality or decadent moral culture may unwittingly be imbibed by the children of such a family in which case the entire
family fabric weakens due largely to an atmosphere of mutual mistrust that eventually envelops it. (Buckwell, 2010)
3.7 Negligent Behaviour of Spouses
Negligent behaviour on the part of marital partners is a critical crisis factor. In taking marital vows, a couple normally
would promise to oblige the partner of his/her responsibility towards him/her, while avoiding indulgences that could mar
their union. But experience has shown that soon after, some marriages collapsed on the strength of negligence of such
avowed obligations. On this, a partner would start to feel cheated thus giving opportunity for tension to build up.
3.8 Poor Marital Communication
A factor that has occupied central position in all discourse concerning successful marriage is 'marital communication1
(Edger, 1996). Inability of spouses to communication effectively with each other is very unhealthy to the union. Effective
marital communication entails that couples discuss issues, respond to questions, call for explanations and accept same
timely (when given), as any delay may send out a wrong signal which a partner is bound to interpret same way. Effective
marital communication can in fact assuage many other marital disquiets before they could degenerate into crisis
situations. Put differently, poor marital communication has been blamed for some other marital problems that have even
culminated into divorce or separation of spouses. Purposeful open dialogue between couples often tends to be overtaken
by incessant arguments about anything, everything, and nothing; misinterpretation generates misunderstandings; verbal
attacks are countered by keeping silence especially on the husband’s side (Awake, 2008)
3.9 Unwholesome Social Behaviour
Bickering, unnecessary criticisms, gossip or what may simple be tagged nagging has rocked some good families. It is not
an over statement that majority of the women take to nagging instead of politely confronting their husbands with issues.
Most men in turn do not take kindly to such threats and would go a long way to crushing such tendencies. This case of
attack and counter attack is crisis prone, as no reasonable man would want his authority as the family head be usurped.