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Re: He Want To Be My Driver by rubi(f): 3:42pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
@Topic Business has to be done with no sentiment attached. Your father driving you might bring sour to a happy relationship you guys have built for years. Giving him money to start a business will be a good idea. |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 3:59pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
Imagine your wife ordering your or him bashing your car seriously due to fatigue would you be scolding the man or if hez at work would you have your dad sit at the driver's lounge and expose him to all sorts of tongue lashing I think the poster should sit his Dad down and ask him for other things he'd like to do other than driving him around |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by denzel2009: 4:03pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
^^^^ or his Dad drinking paraga with fellow drivers |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Iranoladun(f): 4:06pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
"Dad, here is a list of my itinerary tomorrow -I have a meeting at 8.30am tomorrow so you've got to resume early -thereafter take my dresses to the dry cleaners -pick me up at my client's office at 11am -drop me at the office -get my lunch at tantalizer by 1pm on your way branch at Goodies and get my grocery' Imagine my dad/driver commits a traffic offense and I want to handle it my way; he will definitely brings up the "agba syndrome" I'm your father and have been driving before you were born' lol I cann't imagine asking my dad to do all the above or more as my driver. It is un-African to ask a father to be a driver to his child; imagine having my client or wife in the car and we both sit at the back to have a conversation which role will my dad play then? Is it a drivers role which means he is not permitted to contribute to our conversation or as my dad? As said above, look for a better way of keeping your dad busy and getting to see him rather than he driving you round the town |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 4:29pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
googles:that's just plain silly. . .if she has the liver to do it then the husband deserves the embarrassment it would cause. Iranoladun: all the stuff you listed can be dealt with by anyone with half a brain, of course having your dad drive you isn't ideal, but it's not as much of a taboo as people are making it out to be. @chaircover your mom coming to look after your kids is essentially the same thing, one of your parents is doing something that you would have paid someone else to do, she may do things in a way you dont like, but most times, you'll have to suck it in(if them born anybody well, make the person shout at your average nigerian parent now. . .lol). The success of the task, be it driving or baby-sitting is defined by the skill with which you handle the issues that crop up. and of course for the driving, (like baby-sitting) it's best not to let it be for a long time. if it was me, i'd let him drive me for 2-3 months then give him one nice excuse, prolly that i'm going to be having midnight meetings or something |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 4:49pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
netotse: oh not all wives can drive you know. . . .and dats wat a driver is employed to do. drive his employers around |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 4:58pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
lol. . .in this case, the guy was employed not because the guy needed a driver but because the guy wanted to make his dad happy. . .any woman that would think of doing such is a first call dolt! |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 5:05pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
netotse: ok lets say am the hypothetical wife of the poster o. . . i cant drive my husband employs a driver which in this case doubles as his dad { } he earns 80k monthly which is quiet expensive which would not allow for us to employ anova driver i want to go to a wedding without my husband . . .do i bike to the wedding with my gele ? or call my or should i sit at home and sulk all day cos my driver wont take me out simply because he is my father-in-law |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Iranoladun(f): 5:09pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
netotse: Anyone who employed his dad as his driver in Nigeria is a first Class dolt I seconded that |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 10:43pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
googles:if i was the hypothetical husband i'd ask you if the devil was using you and then ask you why your lazy ass couldn't get into a cab? cos you're too big abi fat(remember we're still hypothetical) or what? then i'd storm out of the house(still want to be the hypothetical wife? ) conversely if your mother (remember i'm still the hypothetical husband) was in our house to look after the newborn twins(once again the hypothetical thing) and i was hungry, would i ask/order her to go into the kitchen to cook something for me? bearing in mind your irresponsible and overweight arse(men i love this hypothetical meinene o) has gone for a wedding,? Iranoladun:babe, the guy didn't say he was looking for a driver did he? he said his dad volunteered, i dont see what the big deal is, personally i think ppl are fussing over this whole thing because over time we nigerians have come to look down on drivers as being sub-human. what if his dad wasn't collecting any money? what if he just said let me be chilling with you? the dad is 67, the money cant be said to be the issue, his dad just might belong to the group of people that absolutely cant do without work. . .there are ppl that die soon after retirement o. . .God forbid in OPs case sha! Of which, if OP's location is right, then it means i might have driven past OP(and possibly his dad) a couple of times. . .lol |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 11:14pm On Sep 27, 2010 |
netotse: easy on the hypothetical insults why should i use a cab wen we have cars in the house and a paid driver if the father did not want to be ordered around then why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarassing I wouldnt leave the house for a party without catering to my household's needs first. . . and in case of eventualities if am not around and my mum is she can actually cook for my husband |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Nobody: 12:04am On Sep 28, 2010 |
googles: That's where you're going wrong. Any driver, regardless of age, deserves to be treated with respect. You don't "order them around". With that sort of attitude, it's no wonder you're all up in arms with a guy wanting to drive for his son. The driver occupation turnover in Nigeria probably rivals Mc Donalds employees, if the way you guys claim to treat them is anything to go by. Driver's are not animals, or scumbags. They're human too, and deserve to be treated as such. "why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarrassing?" Lady, listen to yourself. Would you actually address your father that way? Really?! And as for embarrassing, embarrassing for who? Because obviously not for your dad, he's fine with things, so it's got to be you. At last, we've got to the crux of this matter. Status. Your feelings. Society's perception of you. |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 12:12am On Sep 28, 2010 |
googles:lol. . .twas all in jest i'm talking about the propriety of asking your MIL to cook for you, not whether or not she can. so and so's mum, will you please go into the kitchen and fix me something to eat? (if you're of the 'please' persuasion) |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 12:24am On Sep 28, 2010 |
Siena: lol. . . in an ideal world yes, errone should be treated with respect but in this real world we all know he who pays the piper dictates the tune so forget the ideal and be realistic please Siena: address my dad wat way ? calling a retired man retired is now an insult ? please yea its embarassing cos if you are fine with it a whole lot of pple wont be. . . and how would you feel if your dad is driving you on a lagos road and a bus driver rain curses on him. wouldn't you feel embarrassed for your father you need to rush for an appointment and your dad is driving at a pace dat does not suit you . . .would you shout on him or say oh hez my dad i ll rather turn up late your dad is to mingle with other drivers at work then he is the butt of their jokes "oga's father na him be him driver" jokes lol. . . wow |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 12:28am On Sep 28, 2010 |
netotse: well only if he is paying my mum to do the cooking i guess he can order her around since this guy is paying the man to be his driver then he should be ready to do wat he is being paid to do. . .simples |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 12:48am On Sep 28, 2010 |
googles:babe you've tacitly stated you see nothing wrong in being rude to a driver. cos you can do it doesn't mean it's right. Oh and yeah, his dad is/was a driver, that occupation is what he raised his children with. . .there's nothing embarrassing about that. . . babe. . .this is a very weak excuse, who doesn't get curses rained on him? it's not a function of whether you're a driver or not(well i dont sha. . .i've perfected the 'evil look' ) a simple, daddy i'm running late can you move faster will suffice(and i'm sure you'll prolly retort with what if he refuses. . .ha!) if you treat him with the respect befitting a man that was gave birth to you nko? this isn't a valid point. the man was a driver for how many years, dont you think he'll be more comfy with drivers? in addition to knowing how to handle them? babe how much do you know about how drivers think? |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Nobody: 12:51am On Sep 28, 2010 |
googles: I'm realistic enough to remain courteous, Ms Googles. I get paid to do a job, but I will not tolerate rudeness from my employer - unless its acceptable for your boss to treat you like dirt, merely because he / she pays your wages? googles: No, calling a retired man isn't an insult, Ms Googles. However, telling your dad to "Why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarrassing" is as rude as it could possibly get. I'm sure you and I both know what's going down here. So I repeat, would ask your dad such a question, worded the way you've done so here? googles: If your dad chose to drive a taxi, for instance, lets say you bought him a cab. He'd still get verbally abused by other drivers, whether he was driving a cab for himself, or was driving you. Unless you're saying he'd get abused more if he drove you? If he drove you in a private car, he wouldn't exactly have "DRIVER" tattooed on his forehead, yet he'd still get abused by other road users. We're talking Nigeria here. So what's your arargument here? By your own admission, it's acceptable to treat your employees like dirt, so kini? googles: Ms Googles, your dad will be sensible enough to drive at a pace that suited the traffic conditions. So would a sensible driver. If I was a cab driver, and you shouted at me to go faster,mind you, I'm driving at the prescribed speed limit, (contrary to belief, Nigeria does have those laws in place) I'd probably stop my cab, and just sit there till you got out, simple. Every work place has banter, driving's no exception. If your dad drove a cab, and wasn't driving you, he'd still be subject to those jokes, some even worse. |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 12:58am On Sep 28, 2010 |
googles:my point is, a parent is doing something that you'd normally pay someone else to do, should you treat that parent the same way you'd treat the hired help? you seem to be hung up on this money issue? dude said his dad volunteered to be his driver. . .and he's going to pay him 80k for it do you think if he was hiring a driver he'd pay him 80k? i haven't heard of any company that'd pay a driver 80k(there might prolly be one or two) that 80k is simply because it's his dad. ignore the amount. of which it's starting to appear like you're being double-teamed. . .lol |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 1:13am On Sep 28, 2010 |
Siena:[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote] |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 1:23am On Sep 28, 2010 |
netotse: hmm wow. . . . i wouldnt treat anybody anyhow but asking the driver to drop me off somewhere is not treating one anyhow its him doing his job yea? ok lets ignore the money then. . . .it doesnt change the fact that the man is still the driver who should see to his duties so its not abt the money, its just not ok to have your pa as your driver |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 1:34am On Sep 28, 2010 |
googles: the woman is your MIL doing the stuff you househelp would do normally right? hence the guy is your FIL doing stuff your driver would do normally. it depends on how you ask, if a man was to ask his MIL to cook for him, he'd have to be circumspect no? my point exactly. . . my angle is that his dad's request is not as much of a taboo as er'one is making it out to be. . .c'est fini |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by googles: 1:38am On Sep 28, 2010 |
Ah ok. . . I give up o his daddy should drive him den . |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Bhola(f): 3:50am On Sep 28, 2010 |
Netotse and Siena, you guys did well. What you do not understand about the average Nigerian is the oga-driver mentality. The average driver in Nigeria is like you both stated, a sub-human. Someone you can yell at and just about treat anyhow. And they wonder why Nigeria is the way it is. Truth be told, I could see my father making a similar request, cos that man can not sit in one place to save his life. Personally, I love the reference to MIL made by Net. Good comparison. That said, I know Siena is married, Net nko? "Wink wink" |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by invisible2(m): 11:14am On Sep 28, 2010 |
Supposing two of them get involved in an accident? |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Nobody: 2:42pm On Sep 28, 2010 |
// |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Mobinga: 3:13pm On Sep 28, 2010 |
You should not allow a 60 year old drive you. Carry him in the back seat instead |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Iranoladun(f): 4:51pm On Sep 28, 2010 |
netotse: @netotse Do not refer to me as 'babe' OK @topic an average Nigerian man should never be comfortable with employing his 67 year old father as his personal driver unless dem swear for am from village It is wrong in all ramification Rudeness apart. How will the son handle employer - employee relationship between himself and his dad when it comes to ensuring basic duties are carried out successfully e.g. Dad is late to work, Dad met his friend at the gas station and decided to catch up with him and in turn return late to office/home, car is dirty, car is not given the prescribed service, dad commits a traffic offense etc |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Iranoladun(f): 4:56pm On Sep 28, 2010 |
@topic again I should add that the 'agba syndrome/mentality' in Nigeria rain superior to anything. Elders in naija knows all You are not suppose to question your elders actions or inadequacies, you cannot query your dad, you cannot correct your dad, To me therein lies the poster's answer to whether or not he should employ his dad as his driver! |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by calipso(m): 5:49pm On Sep 28, 2010 |
I don't really see where this whole argument is leading us to, the fact remains simple and straight your dad cannot be your driver, so many circumstances point against it! look for something else he can do to keep him busy if he wants to be busy the bottom line is that there must be a way to resolve this without he driving u! |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by netotse(m): 11:27pm On Sep 28, 2010 |
Iranoladun:cool your horses. . . of which those are really weak reasons. Iranoladun:which agba syndrome? now you're pandering to stereotypes? granted, it cant (and shouldnt) be a normal employer - employee relationship but i still maintain any mature person can handle it. |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by kidsam: 9:07am On Sep 29, 2010 |
I understand your dad not wanting to be idle, but being your driver is not pleasant. If he is bent on driving why don't you buy him a car and let him use it for a taxi. that way he will be able to enjoy his hubby and make some money. this will save you also from any embarrasment that comnes with your dad driving you. |
Re: He Want To Be My Driver by Nobody: 9:18pm On Sep 29, 2010 |
kidsam: I don't think you've read the entire thread. It's not about making money, at least I don't think so. |
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