googles:

Imagine your wife ordering your dad driver to come and drive her to a weekend owambe party

or him bashing your car seriously due to fatigue would you be scolding the man

or if hez at work would you have your dad sit at the driver's lounge and expose him to all sorts of tongue lashing

I think the poster should sit his Dad down and ask him for other things he'd like to do other than driving him around

Iranoladun:

"Dad, here is a list of my itinerary tomorrow
-I have a meeting at 8.30am tomorrow so you've got to resume early
-thereafter take my dresses to the dry cleaners
-pick me up at my client's office at 11am
-drop me at the office
-get my lunch at tantalizer by 1pm on your way branch at Goodies and get my grocery'

Imagine my dad/driver commits a traffic offense and I want to handle it my way; he will definitely brings up the "agba syndrome" I'm your father and have been driving before you were born' lol

I cann't imagine asking my dad to do all the above or more as my driver.  It is un-African to ask a father to be a driver to his child; imagine having my client or wife in the car and we both sit at the back to have a conversation which role will my dad play then? Is it a drivers role which means he is not permitted to contribute to our conversation or as my dad?

As said above, look for a better way of keeping your dad busy and getting to see him rather than he driving you round the town

netotse:

that's just plain silly. . .if she has the liver to do it then the husband deserves the embarrassment it would cause.

netotse:

lol. . .in this case, the guy was employed not because the guy needed a driver but because the guy wanted to make his dad happy. . .any woman that would think of doing such is a first call dolt!

netotse:

lol. . .in this case, the guy was employed not because the guy needed a driver but because the guy wanted to make his dad happy. . .any woman that would think of doing such is a first call dolt!

Anyone who employed his dad as his driver in Nigeria is a first Class dolt
I seconded that

googles:

ok lets say am the hypothetical wife of the poster o. . . i cant drive

my husband employs a driver which in this case doubles as his dad { }

he earns 80k monthly which is quiet expensive which would not allow for us to employ anova driver

i want to go to a wedding without my husband . . .do i bike to the wedding with my gele ? or call my father -in-law driver to come and drive ?

or should i sit at home and sulk all day cos my driver wont take me out simply because he is my father-in-law

Iranoladun:


Anyone who employed his dad as his driver in Nigeria is a first Class dolt
I seconded that

netotse:

if i was the hypothetical husband i'd ask you if the devil was using you and then ask you why your lazy backside couldn't get into a cab? cos you're too big abi fat(remember we're still hypothetical) or what? then i'd storm out of the house(still want to be the hypothetical wife?



conversely if your mother (remember i'm still the hypothetical husband) was in our house to look after the newborn twins(once again the hypothetical thing) and i was hungry, would i ask/order her to go into the kitchen to cook something for me? bearing in mind your irresponsible and overweight arse(men i love this hypothetical meinene o) has gone for a wedding,?

googles:

if the father did not want to be ordered around then why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarassing

googles:



easy on the hypothetical insults

why should i use a cab wen we have cars in the house   and a paid driver  

if the father did not want to be ordered around then why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarassing  


I wouldnt leave the house for a party without catering to my household's needs first. . . and in case of eventualities if am not around and my mum is

she can actually cook for my husband

Siena:

That's where you're going wrong.

Any driver, regardless of age, deserves to be treated with respect. You don't "order them around". With that sort of attitude, it's no wonder you're all up in arms with a guy wanting to drive for his son.

Siena:


"why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarrassing?" Lady, listen to yourself. Would you actually address your father that way? Really?! And as for embarrassing, embarrassing for who? Because obviously not for your dad, he's fine with things, so it's got to be you. At last, we've got to the crux of this matter. Status. Your feelings. Society's perception of you.

netotse:

lol. . .twas all in jest

i'm talking about the propriety of asking your MIL to cook for you, not whether or not she can. so and so's mum, will you please go into the kitchen and fix me something to eat? (if you're of the 'please' persuasion)

googles:

lol. . . in an ideal world yes, errone should be treated with respect but in this real world we all know he who pays the piper dictates the tune

so forget the ideal and be realistic please   i know people who aren't rude to their help that makes it realistic enough right?

address my dad wat way ? calling a retired man retired is now an insult ? please

yea its embarassing cos if you are fine with it a whole lot of pple wont be. . . and how would you feel if your dad is driving you on a lagos road

and a bus driver rain curses on him. wouldn't you feel embarrassed for your father  

you need to rush for an appointment and your dad is driving at a pace dat does not suit you . . .would you shout on him or say oh hez my dad i ll rather

turn up late  

your dad is to mingle with other drivers at work then he is the butt of their jokes "oga's father na him be him driver" jokes  

lol. . . wow

googles:

lol. . . in an ideal world yes, errone should be treated with respect but in this real world we all know he who pays the piper dictates the tune
so forget the ideal and be realistic please  

googles:

address my dad wat way ? calling a retired man retired is now an insult ? please

googles:

yea its embarassing cos if you are fine with it a whole lot of pple wont be. . . and how would you feel if your dad is driving you on a lagos road
and a bus driver rain curses on him. wouldn't you feel embarrassed for your father  

googles:

you need to rush for an appointment and your dad is driving at a pace dat does not suit you . . .would you shout on him or say oh hez my dad i ll rather
turn up late  
your dad is to mingle with other drivers at work then he is the butt of their jokes "oga's father na him be him driver" jokes  
lol. . . wow

googles:

well only if he is paying my mum to do the cooking i guess he can order her around 

since this guy is paying the man to be his driver then he should be ready to do wat he is being paid to do. . .simples

Siena:

I'm realistic enough to remain courteous, Ms Googles. I get paid to do a job, but I will not tolerate rudeness from my employer - unless its acceptable for your boss to treat you like dirt, merely because he / she pays your wages?
[qoute]

yea you speak for yourself and dats as far as it gets,yourself, If you are paid to drive one around then he can actually order you around

whether the employer chooses to be rude about it or not is not a problem, if you cant take the heat then get out of the kitchen.

No, calling a retired man isn't an insult, Ms Googles. However, telling your dad to "Why not retire his retired self to sommin less embarrassing" is as rude as it could possibly get. I'm sure you and I both know what's going down here. So I repeat, would ask your dad such a question, worded the way you've done so here?

lol i maintain its not a rude statement. . .you feel its ok to be driven around by your dad and i dont think so,i think its embarrassing so that is wat makes the

difference Mr. Siena. it appears an insult to you cos you feel the driver job is not embarrassing while i think it is. so yes if my dad ever raises dat kind of

thing with me i will tell him to stay retired to sommin less embarrassing



[quote]
If your dad chose to drive a taxi, for instance, lets say you bought him a cab. He'd still get verbally abused by other drivers, whether he was driving a cab for himself, or was driving you. Unless you're saying he'd get abused more if he drove you? If he drove you in a private car, he wouldn't exactly have "DRIVER" tattooed on his forehead, yet he'd still get abused by other road users. We're talking Nigeria here. So what's your arargument here? By your own admission, it's acceptable to treat your employees like dirt, so kini?
[quote]

lol, if my dad was driving himself all by himself fine kini big deal. . . . but am in that car with him getting cursed

its like am paying him to get cursed right in front of me. . .so i should act dumb in the car wen a drunk driver is yelling curses at my dad

act like "oh the music from the radio is good" the man is on his own let him curse back

[quote]
[color=#000099]Ms Googles, your dad will be sensible enough to drive at a pace that suited the traffic conditions. So would a sensible driver. If I was a cab driver, and you shouted at me to go faster,mind you, I'm driving at the prescribed speed limit, (contrary to belief, Nigeria does have those laws in place) I'd probably stop my cab, and just sit there till you got out, simple.
[quote]

yea yea my dad likes to call himself a careful driver _{anova term for slow driver} and then i need to make an appointment and my dad is being

"careful"? and den am late just because he is my daddy i cant tell him not to be careful ?

netotse:

my point is, a parent is doing something that you'd normally pay someone else to do, should you treat that parent the same way you'd treat the hired help?

you seem to be hung up on this money issue? dude said his dad volunteered to be his driver. . .and he's going to pay him 80k for it

do you think if he was hiring a driver he'd pay him 80k? i haven't heard of any company that'd pay a driver 80k(there might prolly be one or two) that 80k is simply because it's his dad. ignore the amount.


_{of which it's starting to appear like you're being double-teamed. . .lol}

googles:

hmm wow. . . . i wouldnt treat anybody anyhow but asking the driver to drop me off somewhere is not treating one anyhow its him doing his job yea?

ok lets ignore the money then. . . .it doesnt change the fact that the man is still the driver who should see to his duties

so its not abt the money, its just not ok to have your pa as your driver

netotse:

babe, the guy didn't say he was looking for a driver did he? he said his dad volunteered, i dont see what the big deal is, personally i think ppl are fussing over this whole thing because over time we nigerians have come to look down on drivers as being sub-human. what if his dad wasn't collecting any money? what if he just said let me be chilling with you? the dad is 67, the money cant be said to be the issue, his dad just might belong to the group of people that absolutely cant do without work. . .there are ppl that die soon after retirement o. . .God forbid in OPs case sha!

Of which, if OP's location is right, then it means i might have driven past OP(and possibly his dad) a couple of times. . .lol

@netotse Do not refer to me as 'babe' OK

@topic
an average Nigerian man should never be comfortable with employing his 67 year old father as his personal driver _{unless dem swear for am from village}

It is wrong in all ramification   Rudeness apart.  How will the son handle employer - employee relationship between himself and his dad when it comes to ensuring basic duties are carried out successfully e.g. Dad is late to work, Dad met his friend at the gas station and decided to catch up with him and in turn return late to office/home, car is dirty, car is not given the prescribed service, dad commits a traffic offense etc

Iranoladun:

@netotse Do not refer to me as 'babe' OK

@topic
an average Nigerian man should never be comfortable with employing his 67 year old father as his personal driver _{unless dem swear for am from village}

It is wrong in all ramification   Rudeness apart.  How will the son handle employer - employee relationship between himself and his dad when it comes to ensuring basic duties are carried out successfully e.g. Dad is late to work, Dad met his friend at the gas station and decided to catch up with him and in turn return late to office/home, car is dirty, car is not given the prescribed service, dad commits a traffic offense etc

Iranoladun:

@topic again

I should add that the 'agba syndrome/mentality' in Nigeria rain superior to anything. 
Elders in naija knows all
You are not suppose to question your elders actions or inadequacies, you cannot query your dad, you cannot correct your dad,

To me therein lies the poster's answer to whether or not he should employ his dad as his driver!

kidsam:

I understand your dad not wanting to be idle, but being your driver is not pleasant. If he is bent on driving why don't you buy him a car and let him use it for a taxi.
that way he will be able to enjoy his hubby and make some money. this will save you also from any embarrasment that comnes with your dad driving you.