1. Man snaps manhood

After unlucky Alan Parke suffers a penis malfunction we examine the world's weirdest sexual disasters

Passionate Alan Parke hoped to get his girlfriend screaming with pleasure as they enjoyed a romantic night in.

But it was Alan who ended up howling in agony after “breaking” his penis during sex.

"I've never known pain like it,” said Alan, 25, from Donegal, Ireland, after actually hearing his penis snap while romping with partner Clarissa Cairns.

He'd ruptured the tube carrying blood to his erect penis and was bed-bound for two months after the freak accident.

2. Hicky hazard

A 44-year-old New Zealand woman was necking with her lover in 2011 when he gave her a massive love bite. Two days later she lost the use of her left arm. Doctors were baffled until one noticed the hicky on her neck. It was right over a major artery and the force of the love bite had created a clot which caused a minor stroke. She was treated with anticoagulants and recovered.

3 . Nipple shocker

When Pennsylvania cops responded to an emergency call at a mobile home in 2008 Robert Taylor told them his wife Toby had accidentally electrocuted herself with a hair dryer – and died. When police began doubting the details Taylor admitted he’d electrocuted her while delivering electric shocks via nipple clamps. He was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment and involuntary manslaughter.



4. Sex with scarecrow

Argentinian shepherd Jose Alberto, 58, died after having sex with a scarecrow dressed in a wig and wearing lipstick and a strap-on intimacy gadget. Police forced their way in after neighbours raised the alarm and discovered his remains with the Wurzel Gummidge-lookalike. Spokesman Rodolfo Moure said: "I initially thought there were two bodies but then I realized one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig. It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis. There were no signs of violence and we are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow.” Neighbours said Mr. Alberto was seen as a loner.

5. Lfs and butts

Nigel Willis from Forest Hill, London purchased a vibrating butt plug and inserted it in his bottom. He couldn't remove it but was too embarrassed to confess his problem to his mother, who he lived with, so spent the next five days in agony lying on the couch as it buzzed away inside. A friend eventually.....

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