My First Crush

My dad dropped me off at the school gate that morning but I couldn’t let go. I guess I loved him more than my teachers. I just couldn’t. I held him tight crying.

‘No No No!!! Don’t leave me here. They will beat me’ I said to him.
‘Don’t worry Livingstone. I’ll be back. I just want to get something’.

Lies. He lied to me. I really don’t know why parents have to lie to make us stop crying. I was little, maybe 4 or 5 years old, I really can’t remember. But I trusted him. I kept quiet and allowed the teacher take me. There my father left me and into the hands of a stranger I found myself in an environment called ‘Nursery school’.

The process continued every morning. I cried at the school gate and he deceives me and ends up leaving. It was as if he enjoyed the game. I made a fool of myself every morning and no one told me the truth.
But this didn’t last long. In primary 1, something kept pushing me to go to school. I was excited when it was Monday and felt sad when it was Friday.
I wasn’t going to school because of the teachers or because I wanted to learn. I was excited about school because of someone.
A human. A being. A girl.

Ladi was her name. Beautiful she was. She walked like a princess. She was gentle, kind and spotless. Everyone wanted to be her friend.
I wasn’t close to her but I was filled with joy seeing her every day. She was my distraction in class. I was little and didn’t know what this feeling meant but I knew I had to be in school every day to see her.

I wasn’t her friend. I can’t remember if she knew my name. I was an introvert and a shy person. There was no boldness in me. So I kept my thoughts to myself. But these thoughts kept me moving. School was fun not because of the teachers but because of this one being that made me speechless.

I can’t remember any of my friends’ name in Primary 1 but I can’t forget her name.
Ladi- my first crush.