Fountainofyouth:
I decided to bring this to family section because I need matured advice.

In all my life I've only had three relationships because I always weigh the pros and cons before I commit to anything, my past relationships always start with sex, infact I'm always persuaded for a long time before I finally agree and there is never any attraction at first for me, but when sex sets in, the feelings grow and whatnot.

Then I met this wonderful man, we got talking and chating and both clicked at the same time, he is everything I ever wanted in every aspect you can think of but there is a problem, the sexual attraction and love between us is really strong and it's affecting my health, we are both working and we talk and chat for hours every night, we cant do without keeping in touch everyday (we don't stay in same state but we've seen several times) we've not had sex cos there comes a time in ones life that sex won't be a priority or a defining factor in a relationship but I'm always scared, when we fight it always seem as if we would never talk again, my heart beats fast when he misses my calls, I think of him every night before I sleep, a little thought of him makes me wet, when there is a misunderstanding I don't sleep at all, I've tried my best to shut my heart from my head but it's not working, sometimes I pray to God to take this strong feeling I have for him away cos it's just too much, I have never felt like this for anyone in my life before, this is someone that sex isnt involved at all so why this feeling, he says he feels that strong way too but I cant really describe his,

Last week Friday I had to check my BP and it was very high so I told myself this had to stop cos it's not normal, love shouldn't affect ones health this much, so I stopped talking to him, he called and asked what's wrong I said nothing that I just need a break but he wasn't happy with it, he asked and begged that I shouldn't leave him which I said I won't but I didn't tell him he is affecting my health. Since then we haven't talked to each other and it has not been easy for me especially this holiday, sometimes I lay on my bed and cry and groan cos I long to hear from him but I want him out of my head, I need my complete health restored.

Please is this the real deal? Is this love? How do I go about being in control of my emotions without affecting my health? Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer as discreetly as possible, thank you.

frozen70:


Such feelings do happens especially where sex has not been involved

But the moment you have sex,

your mind
Your brain
Your heart beat
Your emotions
Your fears
Your feeling

All will come under your control

Your body has been desiring him and you are trying to resist it, you can't fight nature

You are actually fighting yourself and it will get to a stage, you will develop migraine headache

Just make a weekend or a date with him and enjoy yourself

Men has the ability to control such feelings because they don't attach emotions to sex and relationships

But women attach emotions to sex and relationships that's why their brains normally play pranks on them just as yours is manipulating you amd it will keep doing so until you make love with him

MariaLavina:
Love wey dey give someone bp, that one nah love?


Dear Op, there is a thin line between Love and Infatuation.Love in it's natural state is calm, gentle, harmless and a continuous process (it grows) sometimes it is invincible (these are the times we doubt those who love us) Love grows with communication but never relies on it to exist. It puts the other first but does not destroy one's health, love is sacrificial, patient, kind and understanding (it gives the choice for it's feeler to make decisions, I.e it does not becloud one's reasoning) While infatuation on the other hand is the opposite of all I described.

Now, is what you are feeling bad? well, I can't answer that for you but what I know it is dangerous.If you go on with your man this way, believe me Sis you are bargaining for short life. You see in every relationship there will be challenges. Challenges that sometimes only logic can solve. For example how will you handle it if one day your husband is held up in a very tight meeting with the new pretty CEO recently transferred to his company and he is unable to pick his calls? Or what if suddenly your man brings up these strange attitudes you don't understand (men do that a lot sis) Or if your man is being sent on errand or on a course by his company? Sis think. How will you cope will this overflowing feelings of yours?.


Can your Situation be helped? Yes! if I were in your shoes, i will take a step backward and think. My First question will be: Why do I feel this way? If you know the cause, you know the solution.

The next question: Who is my man? Now you have to know who he really is. Is he worth the stress? Even if I love him more than he loves me, is he giving his all?
The most important question:Is he likely to take advantage of my emotions.Ma, if you are certain he won't take advantage of your feelings and emotions then get him involved. Open up your fears and tell him about the effect his love has on you but do it in a matter of fact way (business likely) if you talk to him in a romantic settings believe me lots of things will be swept under the carpet.So be Woman enough .


That said, please whatever you decide, your health first. Only one who is alive can love. I wish you luck.

truthsayer009:
A lot of people giving advises on a thread who have not even experienced this kind of Love before LMAO.

There are percentage levels in falling in Love, whether you accept it or not, there are some people you meet & love but not necessarily crazy about them. A lot of Women haven't met this kind of Men, because the average female list is ridiculous & when they eventually meet someone who tops their list, they become crazy.

I will advise that you don't go ahead with someone you're crazy about, they'll definitely use it against you [If they don't feel same way].
Humans naturally like to take others for granted, this has nothing to do with Wickedness, It's just a natural human trait.

Fountainofyouth:



Lol he is, but does it matter?

armyofone:
Yes - cuz when all is said and done, love cobwebs don clear for eyes, reality don hit, money is the real deal.
crackhaus, say nothing o

crackhaus:
Chei, see love. Such a beautiful feeling.
Even reading your vivid descriptions of it all, gives me a sort of thrill because this is something a lot of people and even me personally have not felt for a quite a while.
Trust me, what you're feeling and the fact that you are still capable of feeling someone this much is a GIFT. You must enjoy the rawness of it, you must revel in it, you must bask in it.

Don't fight it, I repeat, DO NOT fight it.

There's no correlation between loving too much and negative health, none whatsoever. I giggled as I read that part about your blood pressure, it's cute.
Your high blood pressure may just be a result of you fighting your emotions and not the emotion itself causing it - you need to calm down jor. If you feel like hearing his voice, call him.
Don't hold back.

Angeliqué Kidjo when asked during an interview on France24 about what she thinks the greatest problem of the world is today, her response was "...too many people don't know what love truly feels like anymore, everyone now seems too smart and too wise thus making each human relationship a measure of what's in it for me..."

Please you must enjoy what you feel for as long as it lasts, it will make you glow, it will make you more relaxed, it will improve your personality generally - all these are what's in it for you.

Meanwhile, I do have an advise regarding the distance between you two.
Whenever you both can, try as much as possible to see each other often. For a relationship at its infancy, you need all the physical presence you can get.

Cheers, and good luck.

Cc: Fountainofy.outh

Fountainofyouth:



Can't say, kinda known here

pocohantas:
Is he rich?

UyaiIncomparabl:


You get sense o. Now, come let me love you and have some high blood pressure for you.

crackhaus:

And I was starting to wonder what you'd been waiting for all this while.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Waiting for you of course.

crackhaus:

Fair warning, you'll have to be ready for the time of your life.
Try to leave in peace with my numerous honeybuns(don't worry, nothing sexual with them), and above all else, you gotta match my intense frequency cos my energy for love & love-making is off the charts.

Deal?

MariaLavina:
Love wey dey give someone bp, that one nah love?


Dear Op, there is a thin line between Love and Infatuation.Love in it's natural state is calm, gentle, harmless and a continuous process (it grows) sometimes it is invincible (these are the times we doubt those who love us) Love grows with communication but never relies on it to exist. It puts the other first but does not destroy one's health, love is sacrificial, patient, kind and understanding (it gives the choice for it's feeler to make decisions, I.e it does not becloud one's reasoning) While infatuation on the other hand is the opposite of all I described.

Now, is what you are feeling bad? well, I can't answer that for you but what I know it is dangerous.If you go on with your man this way, believe me Sis you are bargaining for short life. You see in every relationship there will be challenges. Challenges that sometimes only logic can solve. For example how will you handle it if one day your husband is held up in a very tight meeting with the new pretty CEO recently transferred to his company and he is unable to pick his calls? Or what if suddenly your man brings up these strange attitudes you don't understand (men do that a lot sis) Or if your man is being sent on errand or on a course by his company? Sis think. How will you cope will this overflowing feelings of yours?.


Can your Situation be helped? Yes! if I were in your shoes, i will take a step backward and think. My First question will be: Why do I feel this way? If you know the cause, you know the solution.

The next question: Who is my man? Now you have to know who he really is. Is he worth the stress? Even if I love him more than he loves me, is he giving his all?
The most important question:Is he likely to take advantage of my emotions.Ma, if you are certain he won't take advantage of your feelings and emotions then get him involved. Open up your fears and tell him about the effect his love has on you but do it in a matter of fact way (business likely) if you talk to him in a romantic settings believe me lots of things will be swept under the carpet.So be Woman enough .


That said, please whatever you decide, your health first. Only one who is alive can love. I wish you luck.

Fountainofyouth:
I decided to bring this to family section because I need matured advice.

In all my life I've only had three relationships because I always weigh the pros and cons before I commit to anything, my past relationships always start with sex, infact I'm always persuaded for a long time before I finally agree and there is never any attraction at first for me, but when sex sets in, the feelings grow and whatnot.

Then I met this wonderful man, we got talking and chating and both clicked at the same time, he is everything I ever wanted in every aspect you can think of but there is a problem, the sexual attraction and love between us is really strong and it's affecting my health, we are both working and we talk and chat for hours every night, we cant do without keeping in touch everyday (we don't stay in same state but we've seen several times) we've not had sex cos there comes a time in ones life that sex won't be a priority or a defining factor in a relationship but I'm always scared, when we fight it always seem as if we would never talk again, my heart beats fast when he misses my calls, I think of him every night before I sleep, a little thought of him makes me wet, when there is a misunderstanding I don't sleep at all, I've tried my best to shut my heart from my head but it's not working, sometimes I pray to God to take this strong feeling I have for him away cos it's just too much, I have never felt like this for anyone in my life before, this is someone that sex isnt involved at all so why this feeling, he says he feels that strong way too but I cant really describe his,

Last week Friday I had to check my BP and it was very high so I told myself this had to stop cos it's not normal, love shouldn't affect ones health this much, so I stopped talking to him, he called and asked what's wrong I said nothing that I just need a break but he wasn't happy with it, he asked and begged that I shouldn't leave him which I said I won't but I didn't tell him he is affecting my health. Since then we haven't talked to each other and it has not been easy for me especially this holiday, sometimes I lay on my bed and cry and groan cos I long to hear from him but I want him out of my head, I need my complete health restored.

Please is this the real deal? Is this love? How do I go about being in control of my emotions without affecting my health? Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer as discreetly as possible, thank you.

UyaiIncomparabl:

Fountainofyouth:

Then I met this wonderful man, we got talking and chating and both clicked at the same time,

How do I go about being in control of my emotions without affecting my health?

Feel free to ask questions

Fountainofyouth:
I decided to bring this to family section because I need matured advice.

In all my life I've only had three relationships because I always weigh the pros and cons before I commit to anything, my past relationships always start with sex, infact I'm always persuaded for a long time before I finally agree and there is never any attraction at first for me, but when sex sets in, the feelings grow and whatnot.

Then I met this wonderful man, we got talking and chating and both clicked at the same time, he is everything I ever wanted in every aspect you can think of but there is a problem, the sexual attraction and love between us is really strong and it's affecting my health, we are both working and we talk and chat for hours every night, we cant do without keeping in touch everyday (we don't stay in same state but we've seen several times) we've not had sex cos there comes a time in ones life that sex won't be a priority or a defining factor in a relationship but I'm always scared, when we fight it always seem as if we would never talk again, my heart beats fast when he misses my calls, I think of him every night before I sleep, a little thought of him makes me wet, when there is a misunderstanding I don't sleep at all, I've tried my best to shut my heart from my head but it's not working, sometimes I pray to God to take this strong feeling I have for him away cos it's just too much, I have never felt like this for anyone in my life before, this is someone that sex isnt involved at all so why this feeling, he says he feels that strong way too but I cant really describe his,

Last week Friday I had to check my BP and it was very high so I told myself this had to stop cos it's not normal, love shouldn't affect ones health this much, so I stopped talking to him, he called and asked what's wrong I said nothing that I just need a break but he wasn't happy with it, he asked and begged that I shouldn't leave him which I said I won't but I didn't tell him he is affecting my health. Since then we haven't talked to each other and it has not been easy for me especially this holiday, sometimes I lay on my bed and cry and groan cos I long to hear from him but I want him out of my head, I need my complete health restored.

Please is this the real deal? Is this love? How do I go about being in control of my emotions without affecting my health? Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer as discreetly as possible, thank you.

DominusPrime:

this is real...it happens...I experienced it recently too though it wasn't as bad as yours...she was just too stubborn and always ready for a fight so we had to part ways...even when I tried swallowing pride to talk to her she still gave me attitude...all I can say is with time you'll get over it...go out, make friends, just don't stay alone...that's when the pain sets in the most...

p.s. u see I'm not such a bad person afterall...smiles...

Fountainofyouth:



No I'm not trying to get over him, we are still together as strong as ever, the issue I had was controlling my emotions and I'm doing that well these days,

Back to you, if what you experienced with your lady is as real as mine, and it is mutual, it will not be easy to get over her, right? And you say she's stubborn and always ready for fights, what do you do that triggers it? Is it the words you say? Your actions? How much do you regard her? I ask all these because I know people who vent out like that have one challenges or the other that is why they behave that way, one just have to be patient with them, I'm surprised the reason why you parted ways wasn't cos of cheating, who leaves a lady that is not cheating? Lol, well she may be going through alot that you didn't know, maybe some insecurities, setbacks, problems etc. Wait, how often do you both see? That is very important in a relationship, if not often, work on it and you'll see changes, I hope you both get back together.

And I was beginning to like you in that other thread too, lol.

DominusPrime:


you typed like you know us already. thats impressive. you were right about a lot if things. we've never seen. it was an online thing. getting over her wasn't easy though...but I tried reaching out to her twice n she threw it right back in my face. I regretted it.
now talking about beginning to like each other...can I send u a pm? nothing serious cos I respect that u already have a man but no harm in getting to know this strong willed lady better right

Fountainofyouth:



Never even seen? And it ended before it started? Nah not acceptable, you are dwelling on her reaction, tell me, what did you say to her that prompted her reaction? I feel like advicing someone regarding relationship today,

DominusPrime:


funny thing is I can't remember what caused it. I think she did something and then I corrected her for it and then we didn't talk for a few days then i tried reaching her. brick wall...I tried again and it was even worse than the first. since then I didn't bother...

when we have fights I usually don't remember the cause especially when in my head it's just a normal fight that couples have...I can't stay angry for long...

Fountainofyouth:



Awwwwn, I like the fact that you don't stay angry for long, that's really nice, you know we ladies are more emotional right, like we dwell on little things and take it extremely personal, I think that's what happened with her here, I can't tell you to reach out to her anymore since she responded with a brick wall twice, but do not put her off completely, don't you still want to see her? I'd never cut off someone I'd really like to see, she may reach out when she's done seething don't worry, is she pretty? I bet she's pretty, and I bet you're pretty too wait where did you meet her? Here? I hear couples meet and get married here, kinda weird though.......

DominusPrime:


yeah ladies can be a bit picky about things...understanding that is the key to not staying angry...when drama starts I just say to myself, she's just being a woman, and with that I calm down though I'm human so once in a while I lose it...

reach out? we've both moved on. she's here on nl. we met here...she's pretty too. lol...yeah I'm cute with a pointed nose lol...couples do meet and get married here.
as for her reaching out i don't think she should cos I have this fear of this whole cycle repeating itself. I mean the fights, having to struggle with calling her, then missing her and wanting to talk to her...but as things are now I'm past the worst. I feel it less as the day passes...I have this saying that whatever a woman has that's attractive, there are a thousand more out there that have even more...
from experience I've also known that the cure for a woman is another woman. so I've trained myself to cut off and lock up when need be...

now let's talk about u...I loved the part where u said u get wet just thinking about him...and you guys haven't had sex right? have u seen each other?

Fountainofyouth:



Oh wow, you met on nl, that's nice, if you don't mind my asking, what's her moniker? You don't have to tell me the full name just a hint or the first later( let me put on my investigation cap, lol) with all you said you sound like you still really love her right? Yes there are so many women out there that have more attractive qualities but everyone has a unique quality and attraction that can never be found in another person, I bet she has that, so what made you attracted to her? She seems like a nice person, you are too,

You saying the cure for a woman is another woman is annoying, rare qualities are hard for find, if having sex with another woman to get over her is what you meant then that is.........well your choice though.

Back to me, yes we've not had sex, yes I get wet but we see very often, that is very important to keep the fire going, he is my everything, my advicer and guide spiritually, financially etc, yeah sex is out of the table cos it's not a priority, you know as you grow older some things wouldn't really matter anymore, so we decided sex shouldn't be a determinant to whether the courtship succeeds or not, it's been a year now, not easy though but worth it.

DominusPrime:


lol...the investigator...well it would be disrespectful of me to divulge her details. I'm even telling u cos I deactivated the moniker where u could have easily found out who she is.
as for attraction...let's just say we met at a time when we needed each other. and yes I'm a very nice, interesting person who has certain views about things that at first seem annoying but with patience and getting to know me you'd understand.
as for the cure...yeah women find it annoying. what if every man knew that if he could just channel his time and energy to another woman, with time he'd forget the one he loves who's stressing him. men would have the upper hand. I discovered it and trained myself to be like that with women...so when one starts giving me attitude I walk away...but first as a man make sure you have built yourself first cos women are attracted to success stories. so my ideology first starts with being what some people call an alpha male. I hate that word though. in summary just be a real man in as many ramifications as possible.

well as for the no sex thing that's cool seeing that u aren't the demanding type. I can deal with that too as long as I can trust you. one can always wait for sex if the assurance is there that no one is leaving.

so are we gonna stick to nl only? there's only so much we can share about each other here...common fountain...let's take this somewhere else...ok...
i had to retype all these cos network messed up