Rather than dwell in the past of how you lost some good men, focus on the future and how you want to move forward with your life and make better choices.

Forget all the people here blaming you for being unserious when you were younger. Thank God they are not God that decides your future. It's still possible to meet a good man. You don't have to make hasty decisions because of age.

All the best

baby124:

You do realize that not everyone has your upbringing? She got married under 4 months. Are you expecting an angel? These are issues that people in relationships work through. But she’s now working through it in marriage. What works for A may not work for B.

Let me tell you! I take serious pride in waking up early to cook for my dear because he can cook and clean even pass me o! So, no shakara there and I am a feminist. But I hold him in esteem because even when we were dating the guy no send me at all for kitchen. So to make myself more important I try to cook what he cant . In fact I do it as competition now.

I come from a home where my dad was a good guy, but his mama spoiled him so my mum did everything for him with love because the guy de hustle die. I have seen both sides of that coin. So everyone has what works for them o!

What I am saying is that these issues did not just work themselves out! We figure out what works and we just adjust ourselves to it. I know it might sound outrageous but you may also find yourself in such peculiar situations while dating and, if you love the person enough! You will find a way to work through it!

Wow.. Beautiful testimony... Thanks

Hmn! Coming to nairaland for advise, how are you sure you won't get more problems when you heed their suggestions

Elesta:

very very well without him. I am not ugly, I am not a bad person, neither am I eating from hand to mouth. I really can't wait to divorce him

Why bringing the thread up when you have concluded in divorcing him.


Do the needful and stop disturbing the airspace


Like baby124 says.....you also need to discover yourself because from your post, you did have attitude problem which could have trigger the lion in the man couple with the infertility problem he has.......


He wanted to use reverse psychology on you which was reverse because of the discovery of the test results.


As he has to work on himself.....so also you have to work on yourself if indeed you want a happy home with him or someone else when you do divorce....

sisisioge:


Aunty! She is the one wearing the shoe! She knows what she's saying. Her description matches the tag fa! May God save us from ndi ara!

You're sick and needs help too just like the op
Madam judge.
This is one the reasons you people keep having problems in your marriage.
Pride
Disrespect
Sharp mouth
Selfishness
And
Carelessness
May God save us from all these miserable women...

Inasmuch As I'm not in support of beating a woman, he is wrong....... But saying alone he insulted you and you insulted him back makes you deserve those slaps you got, and your tears meant nothing to him because he was angry.... WHERE IS THE SUBMISSIVENESS YOU WERE THOUGHT IN CHURCH BEFORE THE MARRIAGE? and you think there was no better way to Err your grievances instead of engaging in tongue battle with him to show your ability to insult?? Reading your text alone, I can easily say you don't even love this guy. You simply married him because Pastors were INVOLVED & bcoz of your health issue(Operated Fibroid)... Else you won't want to run off very fast, when he isn't a threat to your life.... You just feel breaking the marriage is the first and only option you've got right LEAVE AND MARRY SOMEONE ELSE, YOU WILL LIVE TO REGRET IT EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE, WHEN YOU FINALLY REALIZE THERE IS NO SAINT ANYWHERE IN MARRIAGE.....


And we have no right to judge or condemn your husband actions... Bcoz there are 3 Parts of a story.
YOUR PART
HIS PART
THE TRUTH

Elesta:

Thank you very much. I know I am very capable of being loved right that's y I frowned at his behaviour right from time. Thanks for your advice. I am looking at leaving d country if I get a visa

Thanks too

That's a good move
Keep planning until you achieve your aim

Some of them don't worth dying for

And you think there is nothing you too , are doing wrong?

MissR69:
any wise person can see that you are the major cause of whatever bad thing that has happened in your marriage through your post and replies, but many are not going to tell you this because of one reason or another. if you marry another man without changing somethings about you you will have this same experience again. i wish you well in your decision all the same

I do hope @ Elesta reads this.


I spoke so soon without reading this

That Why Am Always Afraid Of Church Things Most Of Them Are Evil...

Elesta:

Thank you so much. Each time I threaten to pack out of the house, you need to see the way he will start begging and even call people to beg me. I think he has a serious psychological problem. Chronic inferiority complex has affected him so much, it's now psychological. He doesn't have parents anymore but his elder brother is very reasonable and always scolds him when I report him. I need to talk to him. but I am scared of raising children in such an environment .my parents don't want me to leave bcoz of what people will say. I wish I can just travel out. that might b d best option. but getting visa isn't easy. We work in the same place,thats why I haven't left him since bops of plenty talk

See the way this one just turned husband to demon on nairaland as if she is faultless. Your age and previous fibroid operation gave me the clue.Two things....did you tell him you had a fibroid operation before getting married? From experience, most women that had a fibroid operation done prior to marriage usually had a very big fibroid that would have been impossible to get pregnant without removing it first. So they usually remove it first without telling the prospective man else most men would be scared at least in Africa. And they usually come down with adhesion meaning even the menses may no longer be coming. And they usually tell them to marry fast else the fibroid would grow back. So...it is you rather than the pastor or the man that forced the man into the marriage. Being in his mid forties, age is not also on his side, so having visited a doctor with you, he learnt about all these and became naturally anxious. His low sperm count is a late finding. Usually at his age, the sperm count may be a little low but with medical support he can impregnate. However, a combination of a woman with post myomectomy adhesion and low sperm at mid thirties and forties respectively is a tight one especially when the marriage was that of convenience. Stop demonising this man. You know what you did. Leave him for his own good.

NB
The fact that you are seriously looking for visa means you understand perfectly what I am saying. If you divorce him, getting a partner in Nigeria will be a challenge and you know it. Married @ 35yrs, previous fibroid operation, no pregnancy being the major reason for the divorce...every other thing na cover up. Risk of fibroid recurrence within 3yrs. Madam, be humble for once. While I am not saying you should die in a loveless marriage, stop making it look like you are the best woman the man can get and that he is not appreciating you. For Christ sake you are also abusing him emotionally. Your rant here shows it. By the way, I am a medical doctor who have counselled several couples in similar situation so I know exactly what I am saying.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

Call the pastors that were responsible for your getting together to a meeting with him. Don't give him a hint of what they want to see you guys for. Cos I noticed you are a sanguine too. In the meeting ask for space from him so both of you can rethink the vow. Tell them you will rather divorce and be alive and died married to someone who doesn't care about you.

Tell them exactly what he has been doing with another lady and how he has physically abused you. Tell them you love him and adore him, also you are not perfect which you also made some mistakes but you will rather let him have his heart rub that struggle for his heart and loose yours. In this meeting what ever they say don't raise you voice just behave like a computer repeat what you have said for them to know you are serious. You can stay away for 2-4 weeks to know how well you both desire each other.

Elesta:

Very good question oh. I have actually left several times but family members and pastors usually settle the matter,but I know I have had enough. d moment I able to rent an apartment, I will certainly leave and we will work out the divorce from there

You're the loser.
He'll definitely find someone YOUNGER and BETTER.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

In the first few years or my marriage, I felt like walking away. Trust me, if I hadn't had my child by then I probably would have. And that would have been a big mistake.

Every marriage goes through this stage. Its called 'teething'. Remember you guys didn't even date and get used to each other's weaknesses before getting married. I don't support domestic violence and I don't think it should ever be condoned. But you know your husband better, is he an abuser or did you push him to the wall that day?

Your husband lied to you and deceived you into marrying him when he probably knew about his low sperm count. But think of it this way, he could have married a younger woman and have better chances of conceiving over time, even with his LSC. But he chose you. You are in your mid 30s and already gone through a fibroid operation, let's face it, you are not the premium choice here.

There are some things my husband said and did to me back then that made me so hurt and angry . . . resentment set in And I felt I made the wrong choice. But looking back now, I realize I could have acted better myself.

In a bid to get back at him I did somethings which were both unfair to him and wrong, and that was what made me turn around and decide to put in the work required to make my home peaceful. But once you cross a line, it's too late to take it back.

Love is not magical like people think. It takes time to plant, nurture and grow . . and only marriage creates such a perfect opportunity for love to thrive. Forget what you must have experienced in your past relationships, it wasn't love. Only with your husband can true love emerge and sustain. But it takes time, and a lot of work.

Your husband has a fundamental character problem, but he can change. I changed and my husband too. You also need to examine yourself and try to figure out ways you need to change and grow.

Trust me, the grass is not greener on the other side.

Pls pray very well because d heart of a king is in God`s hand then never argue with him or insulted him and have faith dat u a mother already

...

youngest85:
I stopped reading when I read ' he begged me and pastor begged me'
They begged you to embark on a life time journey in which you are not interested in partner?

my heart started melting not until I got to that stage. I'm even happy you're a scape goat of this my pastor said this, my pastor said that


that's how a lady said her pastor tell her not to married one man she has been with for long, she left him bring in another guy, the pastor said he's the one, only for the guy to got married to her and started beating her, the foolish guy even beat the wife mother to know how cruel some men can be

Just give him time.
Give him children and im sure you will see his love and caring side.
The man I guess is frustrated, afraid and eager to have children.

Elesta:

I cooked rice d previous evening and I told him to please just warm it in d morning since he likes eating early, that was another problem ohmhe said, how can I b telling him to warm food.Imagine. I am living with a lunatic

1. You were unserious with guys that "loved you" in the past

2. You painted yourself all saintly and your husband beastly like you are devoid of fault.

While I don't comment on one sided issue, I believe that you are concealing some fundamental truth in the episode but that's by the way. Only you know the truth and only you can fix it irrespective of the social media validation you seek/get.

BTW The emboldened shows the kind of a woman that your man is married to and even if all you wrote of him are the truth, my question is, are you in any way different? If you can call him insane in an anonymous forum, how much more will you inside the privacy of your bedroom?

youngest85:
I stopped reading when I read ' he begged me and pastor begged me'
They begged you to embark on a life time journey in which you are not interested in partner?

I see nothing wrong about decision taken by the pastors to connect two people so as to bring them together for marriage. This is not the first time pastors have assisted to bring people together to become couples. The problem is from the husband whose impatience and immaturity is playing a role here despite having his own weakness of low sperm count.

My advice to the madam don't divorce him yet except the union has turned violent. It's not easy to remarry after divorce. Don't be too quick to respond to him when he starts misbehaving. Treat him well and nice. Be submissive to him with love and respect. Cook his favorite meal, treat him like a king. He will surely love you and respect you and treasure you as his queen but if he doesn't respond your kindness, allow his conscience to prick him. Your marriage is your home. A good woman builds and sustains her home.

You see yourself? When you could have married the serious ones, you dey do shakara. This is why I call women fish brain: They marry anybody for stupid reasons or no reason at all.

that is how it goes......

Lollz 7am... u aren't even awake for breakfast?

I smell massive laziness. That detail shouldn't make social media. Prepare something at night, that can be microwaved, with warm water in a flask.

This is very contradictory ...... "If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect."

As for the man, I cannot judge him until I hear his part of the story. I have seen many women like this, and they are parmenently unhappy. Filled with excuses, complaints and lack of self responsibility. NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.

Leave that marriage immediately. Since you have more than enough reasons to do so.

.
.
.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

babyfaceafrica:
story that touches

D HEART

ibkayee:
Marriage prep after just one month of dating is way too soon, sounds like you were fear mongered into the marriage (typical), but whilst I understand the pressure you were likely facing, your decision to enter a marriage with a complete stranger was less than sensible. But like I said, I can imagine the harassment pressure you were facing

I would leave him personally, you don’t have any children tying you to him which is usually the main incentive for people to stay even though they’re suffering in their marriage. It’s not even like you guys have history together so 'broken heart' won’t be an issue. You don’t depend on him financially either. I guess you’re worried about how it will look? Which is fair enough but is it worth the nonsense he’s putting you through? Cut your losses and divorce him dear. Good luck

It's easy to advice people The same mistake she made is what many of you make. Ignore serious guys in your younger years for some fvck boys then get desperate to marry any demon in your 30's. I hope you don't experience this. Nonsense

May God help us...sister go into prayers..it is well

[quote author=UjuJoan2 post=79213776]

In the first few years or my marriage, I felt like walking away. Trust me, if I hadn't had my child by then I probably would have. And that would have been a big mistake.

Every marriage goes through this stage. Its called 'teething'. Remember you guys didn't even date and get used to each other's weaknesses before getting married. I don't support domestic violence and I don't think it should ever be condoned. But you know your husband better, is he an abuser or did you push him to the wall that day?

Your husband lied to you and deceived you into marrying him when he probably knew about his low sperm count. But think of it this way, he could have married a younger woman and have better chances of conceiving over time, even with his LSC. But he chose you. You are in your mid 30s and already gone through a fibroid operation, let's face it, you are not the premium choice here.

THANK U MA.

[quote author=SageMK post=79203682]You did this to yourself by marrying a complete stranger.
That was a deadly gamble and look at how it back fired.

Can your marriage still be savage?

Even if you birth his offspring, you'll still wake up to cook his meal, take care of the baby, open your legs for him and still receive absolutely no love from him.

I'd advise you to walk away but your post presents you as someone incapable of making good decisions, lack self esteem and give a too much shít about what people say. This here means there is a great chance you will walk into the same kind of relationship again.

I suggest you take the bull by the horns.

It seems you want to leave so threaten him with that.
Demand a change to his attitude. If you can't face him, just pack your bags. Life is too short to tolerate bullshít.



Miss life is a bed of rose keep fooling yourselves, saying or expecting a perfect marriage is like opting for rain nor sun not to beat you.
Every marriage,even relationships av issues, marrying a stranger might sound but what is worst is not allow yourselves all in love therein after... our mamas,fathers,brothers,uncles were once strangers tew
what they are both doing is creating excuses for each other not to fall in love .... its too early to advice divorce when obviously they havent tried to love, from the way the lady spoke sef,no emotion,no love,her words void of feelings only God knows how bitter the 45yrs old man go sound
i don't think both are bad to be a couple there problem is they are not ready to fall in love

TonyeBarcanista:
[/b]

1. You were unserious with guys that "loved you" in the past

2. You painted yourself all saintly and your husband beastly like you are devoid of fault.

While I don't comment on one sided issue, I believe that you are concealing some fundamental truth in the episode but that's by the way. Only you know the truth and only you can fix it irrespective of the social media validation you seek/get.

BTW The emboldened shows the kind of a woman that your man is married to and even if all you wrote of him are the truth, my question is, are you in any way different? If you can call him insane in an anonymous forum, how much more will you inside the privacy of your bedroom?

You are blessed with wisdom !

I believe stories like this are made up by media students in de University as a social experiment just to see people's point of view... and nairaland is a perfect place fr that.

Elesta:
Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

Since u want to avoid wagging tongue, Stay there and wait the day he kills u. The man is giving u signs to quit but u said u dnt want to wag tongues. My advice is simple: Quit! Marriage is nt ultimate, u can make a child outside marriage. U can be happy, rich, enjoy sexual relationship without marriage. My dear pls, Quit the marriage, he's gonna harm u one day.