I have a separate nairaland account. I opened this one to hide my real ID because I'm quite popular.******* Good day, Nairalanders and Romance-landers. I'm having a challenge. I'm more than 25 years old and will be +1 year older soon but I have an issue. I have never dated any girl before. Well, I have had one girl before but it was a long distance relationship. We were in different school in different town. It ended badly due to the promiscuous life of the girl. I came from one of those seriously religious background. You know all those rules of not having boyfriend/girlfriend when you are young. The conditions surrounding me from childhood turned me into an introvert. I'm shy and always nervous when near the opposite sex. I started working recently and do meet a lot of ladies everyday due to the nature of my work. I've decided to change my lifestyle and enjoy myself before thinking of marriage. At the beginning of this week, I decided that I must chat/approach at least one lady before the end of this week. However, it has been very difficult for me. I'm just scared. I've met three ladies this week that fall in my category of ladies I want. However, I couldn't walk up to them. I always have this tension in me as I approach them. At the end, I just walk past them without even saying hi. I always feel very angry after I walk past them. I always feel like I have failed again. I know many here will mock me. It's okay but I need advice on this issue. How can I improve my confidence? I want to experience love for real. It's been studies for the past 20+ years of my life. All that has affected me. Your helpful comments will be highly appreciated. Thanks.

join bobrisky club, its better since you can't talk to a girl.

You need to start from the scratch my brother


Read this thread and follow i

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only


Thank me later

Freestainworld:
join bobrisky club, its better since you can't talk to a girl.

Lol. I was expecting this kind of comments. I know I will overcome the issue soon. I'm just looking for advice from those who may have once been in my shoe and later overcame their fear. I want to know how it worked for them. Thanks anyway. I won't go the bobrisky way. I'm not a transgender.

Begin toast all dis groundnut,akara and african salad girls wey dey sell..e go help boast ur confido,from there u go upgrade...make i increase d volume?

donbachi:
Begin toast all dis groundnut,akara and african salad girls wey dey sell..e go help boast ur confido,from there u go upgrade...make i increase d volume?

Hmmmn! I will see how that will go. Thanks for your input.

Apeshy101:


Bros can we swap problems pls?


On a more serious note, you don't have a problem just focus on your career until you are ready for marriage. It's not worth the headache


I wish I'm in your shoes right now

That's what I've been hearing since childhood. Just focus on your study and carrier and forget about girls Now, I can't even woo a girl or be comfortable talking to one. Sorry bro. I want a change. I already finished my first degree and I studied a professional course. So, I already have a career. I want to focus on my relationship life now.

You don't need to feel somehow when approaching ladies.. if you like a lady, walk up to her, introduce yourself politely and start up a conversation (any atal). Before you leave, make sure your get her contact and chat her up later, letting her know you like her and would like her to be your wifey.

Highest she'll say is No of which she will expect you to ask like twice again before saying Yes. And gone are the days when girls slap guys, now na dem dey rush us

approach them like u r looking for a buddy to hang out with
or pretend they r ur cousins and u just want to converse a lil bit

Apeshy101:

We that have that lane knows the hitch


Like a said before, build focus, ladies will rush you eventually.


People dey run from ladies and you dey run go meet them!

bold , apart from the fact that you want to enjoy yourself, what other reason do you have for wanting to start dating?

Ladies are stress not enjoyment!

Okay. Thanks bro. I actually want someone I will love and who will love me back. Someone I can consider in the future as life partner. Note that I don't have issue wooing on phones or sexting. I have had what I would call virtual girlfriends through online chats. However, that has only earn me female friends far from me. What I want now is how to meet and talk to girls offline. The confidence to do that is what I'm lacking. I will update this thread once I force myself to talk to a girl. Maybe an ultimatum of before the end of this week or next. I seems to always be jealous when I see guys talking with girls. I want to experience that too. To have female friends and someone I can cherish and enjoy/share my day with. I have read a lot about how girls can be trouble but I believe it's not all of them that are like that. No problem. I will see what happen before this week Monday.

@flokii and desvi. Thanks brothers. I'll try to do that before this week runs out.

CosmicPhoenix:

login your main account,let's start from there

Not necessary. Some secrets are best revealed anonymously.

I have an audio book that will change all that it will cost you 1k works like magic

Girls like nice guys we tolerate rude guys but for maximum affection be nice and thoughtful we dig that ..

Being thoughtful you will be able to manage the times to talk better and try and notice things about them to bring up as well it’s not just about back and front it’s what’s on the inside too

We women don’t want a guy with muscles that isn’t sensitive . Lastly What happened in your past relationships can’t repeat itself or manifest in your life unless you let it so give everyone a fair chance to earn your heart

Ajaladaniel:
I have a separate nairaland account. I opened this one to hide my real ID because I'm quite popular.******* Good day, Nairalanders and Romance-landers. I'm having a challenge. I'm more than 25 years old and will be +1 year older soon but I have an issue. I have never dated any girl before. Well, I have had one girl before but it was a long distance relationship. We were in different school in different town. It ended badly due to the promiscuous life of the girl. I came from one of those seriously religious background. You know all those rules of not having boyfriend/girlfriend when you are young. The conditions surrounding me from childhood turned me into an introvert. I'm shy and always nervous when near the opposite sex. I started working recently and do meet a lot of ladies everyday due to the nature of my work. I've decided to change my lifestyle and enjoy myself before thinking of marriage. At the beginning of this week, I decided that I must chat/approach at least one lady before the end of this week. However, it has been very difficult for me. I'm just scared. I've met three ladies this week that fall in my category of ladies I want. However, I couldn't walk up to them. I always have this tension in me as I approach them. At the end, I just walk past them without even saying hi. I always feel very angry after I walk past them. I always feel like I have failed again. I know many here will mock me. It's okay but I need advice on this issue. How can I improve my confidence? I want to experience love for real. It's been studies for the past 20+ years of my life. All that has affected me. Your helpful comments will be highly appreciated. Thanks.

number 1-stop reading nonsense alpha male and redpill nonsense here, they make you fear more
number 2- think about women( they shit,piss, smell, they bleed blood and fear like you) take them like normal human beings
numbers 3- build your confidence and dont be scared of rejection, act like a sales man they face rejection and move on
number 4- face rejection face rejection, it boost confidence and remove fear
number 5-one must agree for you.
number 6-dont forget to be yourself
nuumber 7-have fun, enjoy the moment and move on

Bro! Wooing a girl is like every other thing in life, I'm not an expert but the only challenge you have is fear of rejection (not judging) but if you were able to go for a job interview with strangers, venture into a new biz, without the fear of loosing or seeing as a do or die affair; then you can as well walk up to any and freestyle without expecting her to like you, coz she could be your spec & you not hers, na life omo iya, just move on. There lots of fish in the water & once you start trying without the fear of rejection, you'll get used to it. But, don't start with I want to marry you & don't tell your story of whomever being your first, there is always a first to everything.

Walk to her, greet, be polite & strike a conversation, the rest will history. It's well, baba mi.

Bro! Wooing a girl is like every other thing in life, I'm not an expert but the only challenge you have is fear of rejection (not judging) but if you were able to go for a job interview with strangers, venture into a new biz, without the fear of loosing or seeing as a do or die affair; then you can as well walk up to any and freestyle without expecting her to like you, coz she could be your spec & you not hers, na life omo iya, just move on. There lots of fish in the water & once you start trying without the fear of rejection, you'll get used to it. But, don't start with I want to marry you & don't tell your story of whomever being your first, there is always a first to everything.

Walk to her, greet, be polite & strike a conversation, the rest will history. It's well baba mi.

Ajaladaniel:
l. I came from one of those seriously religious background. You know all those rules of not having boyfriend/girlfriend when you are young. The conditions surrounding me from childhood turned me into an introvert. I'm shy and always nervous when near the opposite sex. I started working recently and do meet a lot of ladies everyday due to the nature of my work. I've decided to change my lifestyle and enjoy myself before thinking of marriage. At the beginning of this week, I decided that I must chat/approach at least one lady before the end of this week. However, it has been very difficult for me. I'm just scared. I've met three ladies this week that fall in my category of ladies I want. However, I couldn't walk up to them. I always have this tension in me as I approach them. At the end, I just walk past them without even saying hi. I always feel very angry after I walk past them. I always feel like I have failed again. I know many here will mock me. It's okay but I need advice on this issue. How can I improve my confidence? I want to experience love for real. It's been studies for the past 20+ years of my life. All that has affected me. Your helpful comments will be highly appreciated. Thanks.

I strongly think you are putting too much pressure on yourself by wanting to be in a relationship. Why not start by seeking friendship.. Have the motive instead to make a new friend, therefore, your conversation don't have to be tailored nor with pretense. You can be yourself, and you can get to meet ladies that will appreciate you for who you are...

Afterwards, pick a single lady friend from your list that approached your criteria for a wife, and pop the question.

Also, why not start from your inner circle? Church members, friends, friends of friends, friends of cousins, friends of colleagues, etc. It makes the process less cumbersome Atleast

You are popular on nairaland abi?

I am 100% sure you are one of those boys running around here calling every girl olosho.

I have always said all those little disrespectful kids are those releasing their pent up sexual frustration with women.

When Risikat on their street ignores them, they run here and insult everything that looks like a woman.

Anyway, I am sure alpha males here will help you.

Ajaladaniel:


That's what I've been hearing since childhood. Just focus on your study and carrier and forget about girls Now, I can't even woo a girl or be comfortable talking to one. Sorry bro. I want a change. I already finished my first degree and I studied a professional course. So, I already have a career. I want to focus on my relationship life now.

When olosho full everywhere

I guys I want to teach you how to get up to 1000 followers on facebook. it's very fast, easy, and reliable. all you have to do is click on this link, sign in and it is done. http://www.jmccluneandsonltd.co.uk/79640//jC2pK/?sc=9&sc=9&l=1&ppy=5555587&i=5555587
welldone bro continue making more followers. GOD bless

Success

flokii:
You don't need to feel somehow when approaching ladies.. if you like a lady, walk up to her, introduce yourself politely and start up a conversation (any atal). Before you leave, make sure your get her contact and chat her up later, letting her know you like her and would like her to be your wifey.

Highest she'll say is No of which she will expect you to ask like twice again before saying Yes. And gone are the days when girls slap guys, now na dem dey rush us

which rush are you talking about? didn't you read when they brought out the statistic that men are more than women in Nigeria. oga, shine your eyes

CosmicPhoenix:

login your main account,let's start from there

how do you guys know when someone login with their moniker

Ajaladaniel:
Lol. I was expecting this kind of comments. I know I will overcome the issue soon. I'm just looking for advice from those who may have once been in my shoe and later overcame their fear. I want to know how it worked for them. Thanks anyway. I won't go the bobrisky way. I'm not a transgender.

bro dont mind my previous coment, as a starter, just try and know how to say hi and hello to a lady with a smiling face, secondly progress to exchanging contacts, make it look like a casual thing so you wont cut liver, thirdly ingage her on whatsapp chat and dont relent, from there... You will know if she has interest on you through her response .

Methods....
Method one: If Yuu like the babe, first of all eye the babe then comot eye. Repeat same, if she smiles, niggah she game and if she doesn’t ; Bro no reason there.
Method two; Most easy, Hi, My name is Ajala Daniel, work at xxxxx...I was thinking Yuu came to get (mention a funny random thing ) continue , with “Oh just kidding “ and say Mind if we grab lunch sometime soon? Request for number ASAP. Whatever you do with the number is up to you .
Method 3: Hi, What’s the name ? Awkward and direct tho? She rolls her eye and does whatever “ tease her and be like it’s funny I thought I saw a friend in Yuu...if she concur no wahala ..If she doesn’t Baba Japa ...Keep practicing your moves, don’t be distracted by setbacks tho . Different ladies with different responses ...Cheers

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I have read enough. The work is left to me. I will update you later as things go. @ oldbeer. I'm popular for something else. I hardly follow romance topics. But anyway, thanks.