Firebrand1:
op plz back off from this matter, so dat u will not be hit n d crossfire, d akhator family are still grieving over the death of their son. I am privy to some of d grievances the late husband family has against d wife. op plz don't try to paint the man's family bad becos of ur selfish interest. Wen u read those rhetorics of a tribute at d funeral we all tot u were a good friend, never knew u were just a snitch. Adviser Nowamangbe back off plz

If only I have the time for idiots like you.

First thing first...she needs to take care of her health. Then when she is in a better position both physically and financially to take care of her child, then she can go to court to fight for the custody of her child. Based on your statements, she can't even take care of the child due to her physical [bedridden] condition. In most jurisdiction including Nigeria, the role of the court in child custody cases is to look out for the best interest of a child. As a birth mother, she has more right over the child than the deceased husband's family [grandparents]. So, my advice to her is to focus on getting well and after that, wage a child custody battle with the inlaws.

MaNyEsq:
First thing first...she needs to take care of her health. Then when she is in a better position both physically and financially to take care of her child, then she can go to court to fight for the custody of her child. Based on your statements, she can't even take care of the child due to her physical [bedridden] condition. In most jurisdiction including Nigeria, the role of the court in child custody cases is to look out for the best interest of a child. As a birth mother, she has more right over the child than the deceased husband's family [grandparents]. So, my advice to her is to focus on getting well and after that, wage a child custody battle with the inlaws.

It is her place to appoint someone to take care of the child if she can’t as a surviving parent. Since she is being taken care of adequately and she knows she can take care of her child then the court cannot deny her, her parental right which is far greater than any relative. Her rights come first!

gabito4luv:
If only I have the time for idiots like you.

U need to have d time Gabriel, just be fair in the narrative, ur story is misleading and lopsided.

2mch:

It is her place to appoint someone to take care of the child if she can’t as a surviving parent. Since she is being taken care of adequately and she knows she can take care of her child then the court cannot deny her, her parental right which is far greater than any relative. Her rights come first!

I can't agree with you more...her parental right supersedes any other rights including the grandparents, however, if she's in no condition to fulfill that role [unless she has her own family member(s) willing to take on that burden], it would be in the best interest of that child to stay temporarily in the care of the grandparents.

Firebrand1:

U need to have d time Gabriel, just be fair in the narrative, ur story is misleading and lopsided.

Kindly tell your side of the story.

If & when she recovers, provided she has
the ability to look after & provide for the child,
the court will grant her custody as the child is
still a minor & toddler.

She should contact a lawyer &
go to court if need be to sue for custody;

after all, she is the only surviving parent & has more
right than any extended family member of
her late husband.

Kindly accept my condolences, you are a .
true friend.

MaNyEsq:


I can't agree with you more...her parental right supersedes any other rights including the grandparents, however, if she's in no condition to fulfill that role [unless she has her own family member(s) willing to take on that burden], it would be in the best interest of that child to stay temporarily in the care of the grandparents.

You cannot say whether she’s in the best position to take care of the child as you cannot assess the situation from online. Wheel chair bound people take very good care of their children. So she can take care of her child. Obviously she is getting care from somewhere now and it’s possibly her family members. Who more than likely don’t have as much power as the man’s family. Let her child remain with her and her family so she can see her child daily. The man’s mother should be the ones visiting to see her grandchild or begging for the child to come and spend time with her. Not snatching and kidnapping the child form the mother. Something the grandma will obviously never take if same was done to her.

Firebrand1:
op plz back off from this matter, so dat u will not be hit n d crossfire, d akhator family are still grieving over the death of their son. I am privy to some of d grievances the late husband family has against d wife. op plz don't try to paint the man's family bad becos of ur selfish interest. Wen u read those rhetorics of a tribute at d funeral we all tot u were a good friend, never knew u were just a snitch. Adviser Nowamangbe back off plz

Oga, it is understandable that the family of the deceased are grieving over the loss of their son. However, it is unlawful and unkind for them to hold on to the child while his/her mother is still very much alive. Think about it, she lost her husband and you are keeping her child away from her! Lawd, some in-laws are terrible people!

2mch:

You cannot say whether she’s in the best position to take care of the child as you cannot assess the situation from online. Wheel chair bound people take very good care of their children. So she can take care of her child. Obviously she is getting care from somewhere now and it’s possibly her family members. Who more than likely don’t have as much power as the man’s family. Let her child remain with her and her family so she can see her child daily. The man’s mother should be the ones visiting to see her grandchild or begging for the child to come and spend time with her. Not snatching and kidnapping the child form the mother. Something the grandma will obviously never take if same was done to her.

In as much as I can't asses her physical condition from online, so are you. You're in no position to offer any assessment or opinion regarding her medical condition either way. But if I am correct, the writer alluded to the fact that the mother is bedridden. So, I guess you read the article and failed to understand the meaning of Bedridden. And for the record, I stated that I agreed with your position but I guess also that you got confused...you might need to go back and re-read my initial statement after your first response and digest what I said, "I can't agree with you more..." It might make sense to you. Good luck!

MaNyEsq:


In as much as I can't asses her physical condition from online, so are you. You're in no position to offer any assessment or opinion regarding her medical condition either way. But if I am correct, the writer alluded to the fact that the mother is bedridden So, I guess you read the article and failed to understand the meaning of "Bedridden"

Whether she’s bedridden or not! Someone is providing care for her. The child can stay with the mother and the caregiver. The mother has her mental faculties in tact and she can say whether she is capable of taking care of her child. More than likely she will give custody of that child to her own relative if she wants to. The husbands family know this, that is why they have resorted to kidnapping. As long as she’s alert, return her child to the mother.

Most of the stories u see on the internet are not exactly wat they are. Pls nobody should react based on wat the op posted. The couple got married in my neighborhood in benin city and its unfortunate d circumstance that lead to the death of the husband. However there were a lot of issues prior to d man's funeral that were poorly managed that lead to having the daughter having to stay with the man's family. These issues from all I know could hv been resolved within family elders, an option both families hv nt embraced. The daughter is not been kidnapped. Every problem has a solution. I am of the opinion that it is best for the daughter to be with the mother.

Firebrand1:
Most of the stories u see on the internet are not exactly wat they are. Pls nobody should react based on wat the op posted. The couple got married in my neighborhood in benin city and its unfortunate d circumstance that lead to the death of the husband. However there were a lot of issues prior to d man's funeral that were poorly managed that lead to having the daughter having to stay with the man's family. These issues from all I know could hv been resolved within family elders, an option both families hv nt embraced. The daughter is not been kidnapped. Every problem has a solution. I am of the opinion that it is best for the daughter to be with the mother.

Good. Now communicate it to the man’s family. Tell them to return the daughter. As a parent I can’t imagine the pain she must be going through. Mourning her husband at a young age, dealing with possibly a life long disability, no child to hold unto for hope and joy. That child to her right now is everything. Please let mother and child be reunited. Suddenly taking the child from both parents can even affect the child psychologically. The new environment and the way people will treat the child. The attention and care of good parents will definitely be lacking. The child not seeing the father again and no mother to explain what happened will be so traumatizing. They need each other to get through this.

UjuJoan2:


Having that child with her will fasten her healing process.

Exactly, she need the child by her.

2mch:

Good. Now communicate it to the man’s family. Tell them to return the daughter. As a parent I can’t imagine the pain she must be going through. Mourning her husband at a young age, dealing with possibly a life long disability, no child to hold unto for hope and joy. That child to her right now is everything. Please let mother and child be reunited. Suddenly taking the child from both parents can even affect the child psychologically. The new environment and the way people will treat the child. The attention and care of good parents will definitely be lacking. The child not seeing the father again and no mother to explain what happened will be so traumatizing. They need each other to get through this.

the couple is a very close friend of mine. The issues the family of the late husband claimed they are having with the wife can not even be made clear. She has been treated badly ( some one they once praised up and down even on the social media) suddenly this hatred just crept up even to the extent that non of the late husband's family even checked on her while in d hospital, even till now. All medical expenses right from the surgeries to the weekly dressing was all financed by the wife's family and some support from the late husband's friends not even a dine was brought by the in-laws either did they ask after her well being. Heaven is my witness. On the day of the funeral, January 12th 2019, the daughter was forcefully taken from the wife's younger siblings at the mortuary . sine then the mother has not set eyes on her 2year old daughter. Several meetings have been held where the wife's family had to go to the in-laws house to resolve the matter but it ended not productive. As the in-laws claimed that the baby is their property . sincerely that lady is trying holding up.

SyNnadi:
the couple is a very close friend of mine. The issues the family of the late husband claimed they are having with the wife can not even be made clear. She has been treated badly ( some one they once praised up and down even on the social media) suddenly this hatred just crept up even to the extent that non of the late husband's family even checked on her while in d hospital, even till now. All medical expenses right from the surgeries to the weekly dressing was all financed by the wife's family and some support from the late husband's friends not even a dine was brought by the in-laws either did they ask after her well being. Heaven is my witness. On the day of the funeral, January 12th 2019, the daughter was forcefully taken from the wife's younger siblings at the mortuary . sine then the mother has not set eyes on her 2year old daughter. Several meetings have been held where the wife's family had to go to the in-laws house to resolve the matter but it ended not productive. As the in-laws claimed that the baby is their property . sincerely that lady is trying holding up.

Did the late husband have money? The only time when Nigerian in-laws are this proactive is when money and property is involved. If they were poor, no extended family will think about taking the child. I cannot even drop my child anyhow these days with all the rape stories not to talk of someone kidnapping my child. Haaa! I go craze o

The child belongs with her parents. Not any pretentious relative.

babyfaceafrica:
this abriad you are satijg a judge oreedered that. mentally unstable wiman abort her child..just last week..the news made frontpage

So long as she's mentally stable, the mother should have full custody of her child.....
All those saying she should recover first....
What if the disability is permanent....does that mean she would give up custody of her daughter....
When it's a well known fact that people on wheelchair raise kids....
Nigerians n wickedness to women....

She should be allowed to see her child. That could lift her up spiritually and emotionally to aid her healing process. When she recovers fully, she can ask for custody. A child under 6 is usually expected to be with the mother.

May God grant her total healing.

delpee:
She should be allowed to see her child. That could lift her up spiritually and emotionally to aid her healing process. When she recovers fully, she can ask for custody. A child under 6 is usually expected to be with the mother.

May God grant her total healing.

I checked the family on Facebook and the child’s mother has a mother and sisters. The husband’s family has no right or reason to steal that baby girl

She should go to the family Court in Benin. The Court will never give custody of a child to someone else when the biological parent is alive. Moreover the child is a Minor, biological mothers usually get custody for minors in court.

Firebrand1:
op plz back off from this matter, so dat u will not be hit n d crossfire, d akhator family are still grieving over the death of their son. I am privy to some of d grievances the late husband family has against d wife. op plz don't try to paint the man's family bad becos of ur selfish interest. Wen u read those rhetorics of a tribute at d funeral we all tot u were a good friend, never knew u were just a snitch. Adviser Nowamangbe back off plz

I advice you and your family to give the woman back her child before this issue escalates beyond your imagination.

rentAcock:
The woman is bedridden and probably traumatized from the accident and somehow you want her to get custody of the child and carter for him or her?? The little child will only become a full time caretaker for the mom; he or she may have to drop out of school, bathe the mom, cook for her, wash her clothes, and provide wound care. The child will get burnt out and overwhelmed sooner or later. Let the child remain in the custody of the relatives until the mom's health improves.

ask yourself if anyone in their right mind will let a 2 year old do any of those things even if the person is evil. She lost someone she loves. If they at least allow her child visit, she would be more at ease. She's lost someone sue loves and her only connection to that person has been taken away from her and I can bet they don't let her see the child.

UjuJoan2:


Having that child with her will fasten her healing process.

thank you. I wonder how insensitive as most of those commenting. She's lost someone she loved the best way to heal is when your emotions re first in order, then it gives you will to survive and that signals your body to hasten healing. The closest thing she has to her loved late husband is that child and keeping the child away will only break her further.

maxiuc:


That's harsh

Is just like torturing her

exactly

Xisnin:

Who will take care of the child?

she has family with her at this crucial point. They can help with that while having the child around will be a source of joy to her and help her heal faster. The healing of the human body is mostly tied to our emotions and that child has the power to lift her spirits and thus help her heal.

INDUSTRIALFAN:
she has family with her at this crucial point. They can help with that while having the child around will be a source of joy to her and help her heal faster. The healing of the human body is mostly tied to our emotions and that child has the power to lift her spirits and thus help her heal.

this the in-laws are aware of that's y they never wanted her to see the child . I also learnt they are using the child to get financial support from his friends and colleagues.

SyNnadi:
this the in-laws are aware of that's y they never wanted her to see the child . I also learnt they are using the child to get financial support from his friends and colleagues.

I'd advice you to contact segalink on twitter bro... That man can help shake things up.

gabito4luv:
My dear NLders. Please your advice and guidance is needed once again. I lost a dear friend and colleague last Dec. He was involved in an accident with his wife (see previous link)https://www.nairaland.com/4914859/how-one-plan-funeral-close#74038218. Six months after the burial his family has refused to release the only child from the union to the young widow. All efforts to settle the matter within the family amounted to an exercise in futility. We have contacted the Min of women affairs in Benin but they haven't done anything yet. The lady who is yet to fully recover (bedridden) from the accident is really saddened by this development. Right now she has run out of ideas on where to seek help. Her current state of health isn't helping matters. Anyone with info on how to reunite mother and child kindly give your suggestions here.

PS. The child is only 2.

Tell her to recover fully before fighting for any custody...The family is only doing initial gra-gra.

When she is ready and fully fit,she should contact an NGo/Human rights group to help her in that

Disgusting.

If you support evil like this, may evil never be far from you.

Firebrand1:
op plz back off from this matter, so dat u will not be hit n d crossfire, d akhator family are still grieving over the death of their son. I am privy to some of d grievances the late husband family has against d wife. op plz don't try to paint the man's family bad becos of ur selfish interest. Wen u read those rhetorics of a tribute at d funeral we all tot u were a good friend, never knew u were just a snitch. Adviser Nowamangbe back off plz

gabito4luv:
Well said. Do you know how long such litigation will take?

They will settle out of court. Remember she had got 3 key person in his family. Like his mum. Sister. And bro arrested for kidnapping already. They'll be in jail during the process awaiting trial

She should add 2 family members with a good job too.civil service or bank So if they make bail. They have to explain to all their employers and prospective employers why they have a kidnapping case.promotions stay on hold to the case is resolved.

Her lawyer can also move a motion for them to to take the child to her while the case of kidnapping is been discussed.The judgement will be effected by court staff. Let them say no they get locked up. Either way it's a win win for her. She should go to court. If she has no money she should call fida

Firebrand1:
op plz back off from this matter, so dat u will not be hit n d crossfire, d akhator family are still grieving over the death of their son. I am privy to some of d grievances the late husband family has against d wife. op plz don't try to paint the man's family bad becos of ur selfish interest. Wen u read those rhetorics of a tribute at d funeral we all tot u were a good friend, never knew u were just a snitch. Adviser Nowamangbe back off plz

If the wife takes them on in courts they'll be in real poo. They'll get no sympathy from any judge. There's no excuse for criminality they should take their grievance with her up in court.

Remember the woman who beat her husband's girlfriend. She had reasons to be aggrieved but the way she expressed it got her a 9 year sentence.

These people have expressed their grievance with kidnapping. You do the maths.