iice:

I tend to skip the stages and move straight to acceptance.  It's the only logical direction.
Nice write up

Myne White:

Sometimes, love and heartbreak are totally illogical, lol, We want to believe it will not happen.

Shy-One:

@ Poster - Thank you for what you wrote.

My husband died a young man in 2009 after a one year devastating illness. I did NOT WANT TO LIVE - I loved him SO MUCH - I thought life was over for me. I lost interest in eating, every single thing - I slept for 10 hours straight - I would go to sleep - it was dark; I would wake up it was dark again. I cried constantly. Didn't care who I was, where I was. I wanted to die with him and I turned away from everyone including God. The thought of dating or allowing another man into my life wasn't even an option and I never tried to do this, not even on a friendship level.

For the sake of survival - I turned to God. For the sake of my family - who would grieve me and who needed me to GET IT TOGETHER - I did it for them - NOT FOR ME.

Then J (MY MAN) showed up for me and I resisted him for quite a while. I met him on the internet. I NEEDED HIM to do just what he did - had I met him in person - we wouldn't even be dating now. He very slowly gave me space and just talked casually, slowly - pulling me out of my self-inflicted shell that was created by my loss.

You know, in the end you have to learn to love your relationship with a being outside of "a human". So I cultivated a relationship with God that I truly love - because what if something happens to "My Current Love?". It is soo important that I have a relationship with God because people will come and people will go. This I have learned - a VERY HARD LIFE LESSON for me. What if J and I don't marry as we plan to do? Then I am by myself again.

I love God so deeply and I now trust that God will never leave me and will put people in my life throughout my life that I can turn to, I can talk to, I can love and I can be loved by one that God has provided for me.

Poster thank you for this - your article.

iice:

Wrong. Love and heartbreak are not illogical. People are the illogical ones. The expression/characterization of love and heartbreak are the reflection of the people themselves and not of love and heartbreak. Thus those who say love is wicked are recipients of the actions/characters of people who broke their heart and not of love itself.

Myne White:

I guess that's another way of looking at it iice. But how would you define love outside of the humans who feel it?

It's just a concept.  We give it life, twist it whatever way we want or in rare cases make it bloom as the concept should be.  Though i think people it's perfect, i think by it being a little flawed, it's perfect Even when i'm heartbroken [s]like when Snyder took the job to redo Superman[/s] , i think that heartbreak adds a little something to ones character. It's all the person's decision if he/she wants the effect to be good or bad. Well all have our processes on how we move on, but during the process, you learn something about yourself in most cases i hope.

Tink_sh:

Thank you so much poster, i will re read this as i need to. I am experiencing it right now and i absoutely cant wait til i am back to myself. Some days i am skipping around pretending that i am happy its over then days like today i can barely breath and feels like life is closing in on me. I loved him so much and we planned a wonderful future but circumstances that he chose changed everything. Some days i feel bullet proof and some days i can barely lift my head, today is one of those days. I want this whole in my spirit to heal now!!! Anyway thanks so much for posting those words.

iice:

, i think that heartbreak adds a little something to ones character. It's all the person's decision if he/she wants the effect to be good or bad. Well all have our processes on how we move on, but during the process, you learn something about yourself in most cases i hope.

Myne White:

You'll be fine Tink, just make those bullet proof days last for longer and they'll stretch into each other. I wish you the best. HUGS

Tink_sh:

Thank you for the encouragement. I am trying my best to see the positive. There is no way it could work, thats the reality. I was just hoping for a miracle but as you said hopefully i will take something good from it. Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope your new relationship will bring you much joy.

Okija_juju:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm