Stepmom? Are you asking if my father has a second wife?

Its very disturbing when some folks take it on themselves to accuse other people of not wanting to have anything to do with their step siblings or stepmoms. Occasionally in real life ( not anyone on this thread), some take it on themselves to complain about people who don't embrace their extended families.

Staying away from trouble doesnt mean you're not forgiving. Sometimes it just means you're trying to avoid people who are determined to see you end up in the mental ward.

Everyone knows what experiences they had growing up, and I've never believed its right to condemn some people for staying away from anyone who traumatized them- be it step family, half family or blood family.

With the rampant polygamy in Nigeria, there's so much trauma involved, in spite of all the denials and grandstanding.

There are good stepmoms who are genuinely concerned about their stepkids. Unfortunately, in Nigeria, the bad ones probably outweigh the good ones. And many men ignore their child being maltreated, for the sake of peace. or because they hate the mother. Sad.

i grew up without my mum it was not that easy.i cant blame my mum
cos when she broke up with my dad she was allowed to go with me
but at that tender age i refused to stay with her(which i can not remember taken that decision)
but i have to give thanks to God cos i stayed with my dad until his death in 1991
And those harsh treatmeant has actually helped me to be a better person today
if i had stayed with my mum she would have over pampered me cos I'm the only male
child she has
I'm with her now and I'm loving it,i now know how it feels to be loved

I have a step mum, and thank God we (siblings & myself) had her when we were already in the universities. She pretended a lot especially in front of my dad. Usually heard her complain to my dad that our pocket money was too much while going back to school then. If we don't visit home often from school, she will poision our dad's mind that we were avoiding home. , to make matters worse she was the worst cook I have ever seen in my entire life and a very miserly person by nature, and several other annoying stories.

I thank God we were grown up to an extent when she came in to our lives then. She was good enough to take good care of my Dad who was devastated after our mum's demise. I give her kudos to that though.

I still maintain a very cordial relationship with her, we are all grown ups now & independent as she can't influence our lives any longer, but I have realized that another woman can never be your mum, Having a step mum is not the best of experience in life.

I have a friend with step mum. we once dated for a about three years. I have heard all sort of stories about step mum, but hers is different. When I knew her she rarely talk about her mum. she call her step mum my mummy, she looks after her half sibling like she is their mum. She rarely see or mentioned her own mother's name. She could go to any lenght to protect her step mother. Interestingly this person is no nonsense and temperemental fellow outside, even at work. But she becomes calm whenever she is at home or with her step mum. If not mentioned you can never suspect she is not her daughter. In my mind I feel whoever marries her has gotten a jewel. What do you think. She also respects her (step mum) a lot. Sometimes when I suggest some sneaky things rather than say my dad wont like it she will say, my mum wont like it.

Oolumide

oh dear!
step mums are fiery mexican chillis and we dont like chillies in my house so no shaking!

I won't say I have a step-mum; I have an extra mum. I call her mummy and she raised me up. My parents are separated and my step-mum brought me up. I love both of my mums dearly and often wonder what will happen when I get married. They've both tried their best on me; may God reward them! We weren't so close initially but she was very nice to me. But I'd say that she started viewing me as her daughter after about 2 years of being together. I feel lucky to know someone like her. I used to be bitter about my parents' separation and think of myself as an unlucky and abnormal child. But then I realise that God has the best plans for us. I'm not saying that my step-mum is better than my own mother; they are very different people and each of them has contributed to my development.

Most people don't know she's my step-mum. We still get the "oh your daughter looks so much like you!" comments and then we smile at each other about how people lie. Sometimes I should have something that my peers have but I don't realise it but she will notice and persuade my dad to get it for me. When I came to uni, she's still encouraging me to dress well, spend more on myself, etc (I have a habit of overlooking myself). She's the one who advices me and my confidant. I tell her my secrets; she's my best friend.

Well, i have a step mom,she always want to be with us and we also wanting to be together because we are all loving. Since my fathers death, my mom and the step mom now gettting tighter that you wont believe they two wifes of a man. We are happily together.

after all these horror stories we still have men wanting to marry more than one wife in this day and age?

babyosisi, I think the last 3 or 4 stories were all positive!
Some stepmums are mean,,,others are lovely. It depends on the person. My stepmum is a mother to me.

only? me my step mum is a father to me lol,

I had to read this thread from begining to end,every single detail taken!I commend evryone who had come out on this thread to say a something about their FAMILY!!!'cos wether we like it or not our step mum's are a part of our family.

Well I dont know if I have a step mum or step girlfriend . . .but seriously though,my moms left when i was a teenager my sisters and i were devasted I mean how could this woman leave us(not minding my dad,but us --kids)?she left at a most strategic metamorphosing time in our lives,in other words when we needed her the most.I hated her at first for leaving 'cos she took along so many things that my dad had worked for over the years that he gave to his family and not himself that really riled me up .Anyways as I grew older I came to realize that she had her own reasons for leaving?the funny thing is its been almost 10 years since their seperation and neither of the have re-married?although they are seeing other people

So in a way I guess i have both a step GF and BF but I dont give a flying fu***k cos am so independent right now

booyaya:

babyosisi, I think the last 3 or 4 stories were all positive!
Some stepmums are mean,,,others are lovely. It depends on the person. My stepmum is a mother to me.

oya go ye and do likewise

I'm not encouraging people to go marry many wives. I'm just saying that not all step-mothers are evil. My parents were divorced before my dad re-married, anyway.

booyaya:

I'm not encouraging people to go marry many wives. I'm just saying that not all step-mothers are evil. My parents were divorced before my dad re-married, anyway.

ok then.

Step mums are no go area… My parents got separated when I was three so my living as been with either of my grandparents and they are such a loving people to be around. Name it is it from the story telling to my moral development with proverbs, my grandparents got it in stock. But one thing lead into another and at 12 my siblings and I were asked to live with our dad, to cut the long story short my step mum made earth a difficult place for me to live in.
I couldn’t even touch the TV talkless of answering the phone and the funniest part of all is that my siblings and I were made to wash her clothes and that of her kids. I am just a survivor with stories to tell and now it’s all history because I am chilling in Europe feeling the cold breeze as it settles into my skin. I made myself a promise the day I was leaving my father that I will be a good husband someday and that I will never marry twice for the sake of my kids because when two elephants fight the grass is the one that suffers.

nahhhhhhhhhh man step mum ke.i pity those who avgot them.God is in cotrol

yes i have 4 of them to be precise and trust me aint no thing like loving or good step mothers, they are all witches!

Huh, this step mum o f a thing,its only God in heaven that normally saves the children that falls victim, If its not ur really mum, 4get it , it can never be the same, no matter how nice the step mum tries to be.
They are so wicked that they don't even care what happens to u. All they are intrested in is the welfare of their own children.But only few of them are well behaved anyway

i have a step mum. she's wonderful.Its just difefrent strokes for different folks i guess.

Step mom? i have 2 step moms and a step dad. it has been an experience for me but one of my step moms is really cool. i even travel to go visit her once in a while and she does same. my siblings from her are always welcome in my home and you would never know she ain't my real mom. But the other step mom!!!! i don't really blame her. She would never have existed if my Dad was not irresponsible

& I say eeya! E pele eyin pips. Although I've got a half-brother who my dad is renouncing (oops disown now ha). A love-child he had before he married my mom.
Maybe I'd get a bit of the frosty attitude from my half bro's mom cos of the brouhaha brewing now.
God help us.
It's well o jare.

I do have a step mom but will never phatom why they r so difficult. my dad realy thinks she is the best thing that has happened to him, well its hes happiness he seeks. we men could be selfish. any way i trie to avoid confrontation and make sure my status as the first son is not threatend i hold all the documents to the properties and i ahe tries me i put her in her place the key is understanding THE MAN IN ALL RAMIFICATIONS.

is not an experience to be remember at all.

i don't just have a step mum, i have a witch as a step mum, we don't get along at all.

Step mums are great. I had one growing up and was cool. I think people stereotype on most step mums and things that would have being completely ignored if it were the real mum are never ignored.

Step Mums?
Mine was Hell on Earth,
Imagine a Godly home,
We kids choosing her as wife for Dad,
We luvd her more than Mum,
Dad an Ordained minister!
Step Mum authomatically a Pastor too,
After one year of marriage,
Forced Dad to draft his Will,
Keeps all food stuffs in her Beddroom,
We became workers in our Dads house,
God started revealing to her all kids from
other marriage are OCCULTIC!
We became reference for church,
Testimony of Deliverance from Occultic attack from
our ONCE Loving Home, on her kids,
Who cud doubt a Pastor, ?
Na so me and ma Siblings were sent parking!
Well,
Today am a Graduate,
Ma two brothers r Undergraduates,
Her kids?
Teacher's case in school,
Well, I forgive her, and pray she repents on her
last breath on earth.
If we were not kicked out of the house, we wont have
been productive today.
I am Old enough to marry but am taking ma time, cos I dont want to be
repeat ma Mother's mistake on ma kids,
Marriage is for Better for worst,
Now we luv our Mum more than any thing dat matter in d world.
She is a proud mother now, cos we now Understood.

i cant really imagine what its like, am not sure i would last in a situation like that i would snap and do something really

I have a stepmom, and though we've had our rough patches she's really nice. Sometimes we expect too much from them. Agreed some can be mean but a lot of times its our preconception about stepmoms that make us see the things they do as wicked. We expect stepmoms to be nicer than our mothers, if they scold us its cos they dont like us. Most of us who have mothers and stepmoms either get fed stories and thoughts by our mothers or our fathers are damn poor in handling matters properly that eventually it breaks down to outright battle. Yes there's always the tussle for dominion but remember stepmoms are women and women love to be the center of attention whether they be girlfriends, wives, mothers or stepmoms. Why else do wives complain about mother-in-laws?

i have a step mum and we get along fine-don't live with her never lived with her.

talk about the most selfless person on earth.

she will go out of her way just to make sure that im okay  . . .more like a God sent to me.

and shes one woman ive come to have so much respect for.

God bless you Auntie      *******

There is no perfect being, so we have some good ones and we have some extremely callous step moms

I think in the long run if u dont get depressed or died during their reign of terror u may turn out to be a better person.
U know u jst come out of fire shining like Gold