mysticgal:


E.g my lovely 10brothers, 2 nephews, and 1 pretty little boxer cousin . Even his parents wouldn’t recognize the bastard

what if the man is rich?
You don see where dem dey go beat rich man before?

nwanneni:
spare the belt,spoil the wife

Nwanne jee chuba ego.
Is that why you despise your father.

Ineedyouradvise:


Funniest thing is he never wanted to have a talk, he kept saying he doesn't have a problem, when I asked what I was doing wrong he'll say I should figure it out myself.

that ur husband get as e take day o,
man way day vex for person way kw day talk am, I kw like them at all,i b guy o,it is good u let people close to u y u day vex,

babe u for check mate dat guy b4 settling down, growing up in a separated homes isn't easy, that ur man lacked motherly care and it's showing on him, don't blame him,i can write a whole page of the type of husband u have, his father is the type dat never admit he is wrong,
no time pointing fingers just try hold a family meeting and settle dis issue,but ur husband needs to see someone that he can relate with to voice out his inner problem, I bet he still gets angry over how his growing up was

Dhinmmar:

Nwanne jee chuba ego.
Is that why you despise your father.

I am not a violent person,too bad you can't get the joke.
I don't despise my father.I don't know where you got that from.

nwanneni:
I am not a violent person,too bad you can't get the joke.
I don't despise my father.I don't know where you got that from.

I'm not good with that kinda of joke then.
Toor, ba wahala

Ineedyouradvise:


I endured a lot, I just couldn't take it anymore, I needed to clear my head.

I bet u, ur husband can stay a whole year he won't call u, I can even bet 2 years, u kw y? he lacked dat motherly care so he sees d presence of a lady not welcome, just hold a family meeting, and talk this tin, if he isn't welling to change and d change must be he must see a psychologist, else I doubt if ur coming back is welcome again, becus u just stepped on his privacy again

Dhinmmar:

I'm not good with that kinda of joke then.
Toor, ba wahala

I will tell you something now.
I can be very dangerous when someone try to mock or insult my family.
Please don't do it again!I don't appreciate it at all.
And there could be consequences!I have time,I have resources.
Don't test me,peace!!

He was beating u black and blue, he wasn't providing tho earning well from his job, is that one a husband?
Anyone telling u to go back to him wants u dead. A man like this can kill u. Marriage is not by force. Don't regret ur decision. Get a good lawyer, get a divorce, hv the court order him to pay monthly child support, look after urself n ur kids. Be strong, all will be well.

nwanneni:
I will tell you something now.
I can be very dangerous when someone try to mock or insult my family.
Please don't do it again!I don't appreciate it at all.
And there could be consequences!I have time,I have resources.
Don't test me,peace!!

Lolz
Toor means OK, ba wahala means no problem. Last time I checked, I didn't insult your family so I don't know what you're blabbing about.
You have time and resources, ehn! gịnị nwe mmezie a
Register my moniker to your head when you want to throw domestic violence joke again.

Shalom

nwanneni:
what if the man is rich?
You don see where dem dey go beat rich man before?

You don see where rich person brothers beat rich person?

mysticgal:


You don see where rich person brothers beat rich person?

No one has ever beat up a rich person's daughter before.
No man is that stupid.do that flatter yourself.
Rich people sue or attack interests,not fight like motor park touts.

Dhinmmar:

Oshey!! Is that how your relatives treat their wives?

I grow up from a lovely home,my both parents are still alive, but I can tell you, during my stay in Lagos I have one neighbour like that, a young couple I must say,if you see the way and manner the woman is using insulting word's on her husband, you will have pity on the young man,she capitalize on her husband easy going nature, just because maybe she has money,more than the man. in fact to cut the story short, she is the husband, while the man is the wife, what if tomorrow the man say enough is enough, and muster the courage and start beating the woman after every insults and abuse, or better still start behaving otherwise will you still blame the man? I personal don't like the way the op paint the husband all black, one will think that she is infallible.

donbachi:
Stop been in a haste to make decision when you are angry.it has never produced good result.now you're not happy cos he has'nt called you.if you had stayed back,you both would have talked over it.but you were too fast in decision taking.not considering the fact that you still love him...dem no dey carry wetin dem use clean nyansh take clean face.na him suppose say sorry,but now,na the other way round.

E be like say una no see domestic violence and pool of blood abi? Abi women come this world to die untop marriage? Pls op forget about the man for now and focus on your kids. Abi if he kicks u and you die, you go dey for your own ur kids? D woman he's yanching will attend ur funeral so better be strong

Mekenz:
I grow up from a lovely home,my both parents are still alive, but I can tell you, during my stay in Lagos I have one neighbour like that, a young couple I must say,if you see the way and manner the woman is using insulting word's on her husband, you will have pity on the young man,she capitalize on her husband easy going nature, just because maybe she has money,more than the man. in fact to cut the story short, she is the husband, while the man is the wife, what if tomorrow the man say enough is enough, and muster the courage and start beating the woman after every insults and abuse, or better still start behaving otherwise will you still blame the man? I personal don't like the way the op paint the husband all black, one will think that she is infallible.

Men should learn how to insult too instead of going physical. One simple yab and she go mellow

Dhinmmar:

Lolz
Toor means OK, ba wahala means no problem. Last time I checked, I didn't insult your family so I don't know what you're blabbing about.
You have time and resources, ehn! gịnị nwe mmezie a
Register my moniker to your head when you want to throw domestic violence joke again.

Shalom

You obviously did not follow the conversation.

He was mocking a male poster telling a female moniker that she deserves to be belted because she is rude.

You quoted him and dragged his father into it.

bukatyne:


You obviously did not follow the conversation.

He was mocking a male poster telling a female moniker that she deserves to be belted because she is rude.

You quoted him and dragged his father into it.

He actually quoted me ma using the biblical term for children to a wife.

I asked him if he despite the father cos he did that, which he replied to that he was joking, I replied that I don't fancy such joke and said no problem.
He became angry that I'm mocking his family which I can't remember doing.

Mekenz:
I grow up from a lovely home,my both parents are still alive, but I can tell you, during my stay in Lagos I have one neighbour like that, a young couple I must say,if you see the way and manner the woman is using insulting word's on her husband, you will have pity on the young man,she capitalize on her husband easy going nature, just because maybe she has money,more than the man. in fact to cut the story short, she is the husband, while the man is the wife, what if tomorrow the man say enough is enough, and muster the courage and start beating the woman after every insults and abuse, or better still start behaving otherwise will you still blame the man? I personal don't like the way the op paint the husband all black, one will think that she is infallible.

What happened to your neighbor moving on but because probably he's gaining something from the woman that's why he stayed back and resulted to beating. If he inflict harm on her, people will blame him first before remembering the woman. My anger with the op story is beating and leaving her with blood on her body.

Your obsession with wealth irrespective of the source and the notion that money literally makes you get away with anything is worrisome. Money is not a panacea for bad behavior except you are looking for a chick who's after ur money. Just thot i should drop this here...

nwanneni:
what if the man is rich?
You don see where dem dey go beat rich man before?

Gloriagee:
Your obsession with wealth irrespective of the source and the notion that money literally makes you get away with anything is worrisome. Money is not a panacea for bad behavior except you are looking for a chick who's after ur money. Just thot i should drop this here...

I cannot be obsessed about the things I already had from birth.very unlikely.
I was just pointing out a flaw in her approach which albeit is alarmingly impossible if the offender is rich.
Would her brothers dare go to a rich man's house to beat him up for molesting their sister physically?
Of course we both know they wouldn't dare or risk a total wipe out of their entire lineage.
It's just reality,accept it or continue wallowing in ignorance.

My dear I am glad you had the courage to leave.
I could have say you should get a divorce lawyer, get child support from him. But in reality money from child support won't be able to foot your children's bills. So in reality you have to get something doing
But it seems you want to go back to the marriage so I will give you a second advise. If you are a Christian you have to pray for God to touch your husband and change him for good because going back like that may lead to something else. I will advise you to visit the closest MFM church nearby, lay your problems and they will definitely assist you in prayers

Good luck dear sister

The family may not opt for physical violence but can decide to teach him several lessons which can leave him scarred or at least hurt his reputation. I understand this is Nig and people get away with crap but an enlightened family can mess with the irritant. I hope you know the whole concept of having money is relative. U can say ure rich cos u can afford an aldo bag monthly, while some can afford Prada and way more expensive items. Shoe get size...

nwanneni:
I cannot be obsessed about the things I already had from birth.very unlikely.
I was just pointing out a flaw in her approach which albeit is alarmingly impossible if the offender is rich.
Would her brothers dare go to a rich man's house to beat him up for molesting their sister physically?
Of course we both know they wouldn't dare or risk a total wipe out of their entire lineage.
It's just reality,accept it or continue wallowing in ignorance.

Gloriagee:
The family may not opt for physical violence but can decide to teach him several lessons which can leave him scarred or at least hurt his reputation. I understand this is Nig and people get away with crap but an enlightened family can mess with the irritant. I hope you know the whole concept of having money is relative. U can say ure rich cos u can afford an aldo bag monthly, while some can afford Prada and way more expensive items. Shoe get size...

I still don't understand what point you are trying to make with the bolded statement.
So you are the bigger shoe I presume,that is if I got your point correctly.
Anyways you can continue dodging reality all you want.Goat no dey fight with lion.
That is true capitalism and please don't bring that "in this part of the world equality nonsense!" because if you are really that Prada woman you say you Are,you will know that justice is manipulated even in the West by people with money.
How do you talk about hurting a person's reputation in a country like Nigeria where almost everyone is poor?
Don't you know a little act of philantropy will buy him all the reputation he needs again after whatever damage the poor people thought they inflicted on him/her?
Please I am a realist,keep Cinderella tales very faraway from me Ok?

Me ke? I am not the bigger shoe o. I don't have any interest in comparing stuff talkless of online. My point is you might think a guy is rich but theres always gonna be someone way wealthier. Gosh there's something wrong with your morality if you think a little act of 'philantrophy' can cancel all the wrongdoing in the past. Take a cue from the silly slapping senator who committed his acts, before he was sworn in, then cctv footage exposed him for who he truly is. N while that was ongoing, his deceased's wife sister pulled more dirt on him. Yeah, he won an award after that but nothing can convince me that hes not a messed up sort.

I'm just saying you can hope money can buy you a nice guy image but I'd rather be married to a genuinely nice guy than one that has the image of a nice guy n trust me, you can fool some people some of the time but u can't fool everyone all of the time. Peace!

@op - sorry for hijacking your thread

nwanneni:
I still don't understand what point you are trying to make with the bolded statement.
So you are the bigger shoe I presume,that is if I got your point correctly.
Anyways you can continue dodging reality all you want.Goat no dey fight with lion.
That is true capitalism and please don't bring that "in this part of the world equality nonsense!" because if you are really that Prada woman you say you Are,you will know that justice is manipulated even in the West by people with money.
How do you talk about hurting a person's reputation in a country like Nigeria where almost everyone is poor?
Don't you know a little act of philantropy will buy him all the reputation he needs again after whatever damage the poor people thought they inflicted on him/her?
Please I am a realist,keep Cinderella tales very faraway from me Ok?

Gloriagee:
Me ke? I am not the bigger shoe o. I don't have any interest in comparing stuff talkless of online. My point is you might think a guy is rich but theres always gonna be someone way wealthier. Gosh there's something wrong with your morality if you think a little act of 'philantrophy' can cancel all the wrongdoing in the past. Take a cue from the silly slapping senator who committed his acts, before he was sworn in, then cctv footage exposed him for who he truly is. N while that was ongoing, his deceased's wife sister pulled more dirt on him. Yeah, he won an award after that but nothing can convince me that hes not a messed up sort.

I'm just saying you can hope money can buy you a nice guy image but I'd rather be married to a genuinely nice guy than one that has the image of a nice guy n trust me, you can fool some people some of the time but u can't fool everyone all of the time. Peace!

@op - sorry for hijacking your thread

Isn't The bolded all that matters?
Is there any essence of say my wife knowing I am a bad man whereas the rest of the world is singing my praise?
If my wife speaks out,she will be condemned.don't you know that?
After all the noise,abbo is still a senator.end of story!
Is there any need for a person to have a true perception that can't be voiced out due to societal realities?If you see Buhari murder someone in your presence and he spares you,will you dare tell anyone about it?
Do I give you instances of where little acts of philanthropy have cancelled a lot of wrongdoings in the past?
And this one weh you just jump enter marriage,you be want marry me but my morality dey fear you shey
It's better to have an honest man than a pretender.reason my supposed ex left in search for phantom good man not knowing she walked out on her only opportunity of having a good life.
Guess What?I am happier and getting richer too.seem she was some sort of bad luck anyways.

Dhinmmar:

He actually quoted me ma using the biblical term for children to a wife.

I asked him if he despite the father cos he did that, which he replied to that he was joking, I replied that I don't fancy such joke and said no problem.
He became angry that I'm mocking his family which I can't remember doing.

He was mocking the first person you quoted.

Mekenze said this:

Mekenz:
a good woman think before talking, using abusive/insulting words to your partner can never be justify, same with using violence on your partner. if you think that you can insult your partner at will, then you should as well be prepared to received flogging....(belt things)

which you quoted highlighting the bold:

Dhinmmar:

Oshey!! Is that how your relatives treat their wives?

Nwanneni then said this to mock the poster your quoted. He was agreeing with you on the absurdity of the post. Hence the allusion to the spare the rod and spoil the child.

nwanneni:
spare the belt,spoil the wife

Anfd you responded to Nwanneni with this

Dhinmmar:

Nwanne jee chuba ego.
Is that why you despise your father.

When it seemed you did not get the joke, he told you here:

nwanneni:
I am not a violent person,too bad you can't get the joke.
I don't despise my father.I don't know where you got that from.

And it went downhill from there.

Funnily, the initial poster you quoted responded:

Mekenz:
I grow up from a lovely home,my both parents are still alive, but I can tell you, during my stay in Lagos I have one neighbour like that, a young couple I must say,if you see the way and manner the woman is using insulting word's on her husband, you will have pity on the young man,she capitalize on her husband easy going nature, just because maybe she has money,more than the man. in fact to cut the story short, she is the husband, while the man is the wife, what if tomorrow the man say enough is enough, and muster the courage and start beating the woman after every insults and abuse, or better still start behaving otherwise will you still blame the man? I personal don't like the way the op paint the husband all black, one will think that she is infallible.

Anyways, it is all good.

bukatyne:


He was mocking the first person you quoted.

which you quoted highlighting the bold:
then said this to mock the poster your quoted. He was agreeing with you on the absurdity of the post. Hence the allusion to the spare the rod and spoil the child

Anfd you responded to i with this

When it seemed you did not get the joke, he told you here:

And it went downhill from there.

Funnily, the initial poster you quoted responded:


Anyways, it is all good.

I actually understand what you wrote. I was angry with what the first poster wrote about using belt before he mentioned me with the biblical quote which annoyed me, he should have just quoted the poster ni. Sarcasm/joke or not, DV should not be joked with. I actually have a family member that died cos of DV even after the advice given to her, she went back because someone told her to go back cos of the kids, heard she was infected with HIV. The husband is late now, the children are now scattered with relatives from both sides.

I wasn't mocking his family and I don't even want to know anything about his family or his time or resources,so he should quit playing victim cos it doesn't move me.
That's why I told him not to use the joke near me, only if there's something peppering him that I don't know.

no problem, have a great day.

Mekenz:
I grow up from a lovely home,my both parents are still alive, but I can tell you, during my stay in Lagos I have one neighbour like that, a young couple I must say,if you see the way and manner the woman is using insulting word's on her husband, you will have pity on the young man,she capitalize on her husband easy going nature, just because maybe she has money,more than the man. in fact to cut the story short, she is the husband, while the man is the wife, what if tomorrow the man say enough is enough, and muster the courage and start beating the woman after every insults and abuse, or better still start behaving otherwise will you still blame the man? I personal don't like the way the op paint the husband all black, one will think that she is infallible.

@Bold, are you insuiating that it is ok for the husband to be verbally abusive to prove his husbandship?

And we wonder why this issue will never be resolved?

It is ok for the husband to be obnoxious because he is breadwinner, when women learn same attitude, you start to complain.

You can't eat your cake and have it.

bukatyne:


@Bold, are you insuiating that it is ok for the husband to be verbally abusive to prove his husbandship?

And we wonder why this issue will never be resolved?

It is ok for the husband to be obnoxious because he is breadwinner, when women learn same attitude, you start to complain.

You can't eat your cake and have it.

I think you are exacerbating the issues at hand, let's not digress from the issues, though I told the story for clarity purposes, probably you didn't get the much intended lesson from it, but let me put it straight to us.

from what I garnered from the OP story she make's it look like she married a devil, whilst she exonerated her self as a saint, who does that? anybody that is coming to the equity,must come with a clean hands, I know the husband might not be what she expected,
but still I believe he possess some other goodies, that attracted her to him in the first place.

in a relationship one person must tolerate more than the other for the family to blossom, two locker heads must always be a torn on each others fresh, trying to prove a point.
i have not seen where a man will go ahead and marry a woman, with the intention of maltreating her latter.

even if they later divorce, life will still continue the man will still marry another woman, and he will go ahead and enjoy the new marriage. secondary no marriages are the same, you don't allow the opinions of other people to have effect in your marriage.

there are some persons that can live with a devil, you won't even notice the devil's side anymore. please let us stop encouraging separation in marriages is not good, the union is for better for worse, if you abide on that concept before marrying, you will shine you eye's and do so many investigations before saying I do, today's marriages fails, because,we no longer hold the institution at a high extreme, we believe that we can go in and out of it at will, hence rush in......rush out.hence the children involved end up suffering the aftermath.

Mekenz:
I think you are exacerbating the issues at hand, let's not digress from the issues, though I told the story for clarity purposes, probably you didn't get the much intended lesson from it, but let me put it straight to us.

from what I garnered from the OP story she make's it look like she married a devil, whilst she exonerated her self as a saint, who does that? anybody that is coming to the equity,must come with a clean hands, I know the husband might not be what she expected,
but still I believe he possess some other goodies, that attracted her to him in the first place.

in a relationship one person must tolerate more than the other for the family to blossom, two locker heads must always be a torn on each others fresh, trying to prove a point.
i have not seen where a man will go ahead and marry a woman, with the intention of maltreating her latter.

even if they later divorce, life will still continue the man will still marry another woman, and he will go ahead and enjoy the new marriage. secondary no marriages are the same, you don't allow the opinions of other people to have effect in your marriage.

there are some persons that can live with a devil, you won't even notice the devil's side anymore. please let us stop encouraging separation in marriages is not good, the union is for better for worse, if you abide on that concept before marrying, you will shine you eye's and do so many investigations before saying I do, today's marriages fails, because,we no longer hold the institution at a high extreme, we believe that we can go in and out of it at will, hence rush in......rush out.hence the children involved end up suffering the aftermath.

If you read through my initial post, there was never a time I painted myself to be a saint, there's no perfect human. of course, no one gets married to become separated or divorced later.
When issues arises in marriage, it is imperative that both couples find ways to resolve them, when issues can't be resolved, it's just a time bomb waiting to blow.

Let me ask you a question;
If you had an issue with your wife, would it be enough reason to deny her conjugal rights? Or hit her till she lay in a pool of her own blood? Or refuse to provide for your own home?

I perfectly understand there's no perfect home, every marriages experiences one issue or the other, and your ability to work on it makes you matured. but when you keep making your other half feel like you are doing them a favor by being married to them, probably cause you feel they have a soft heart then that's frustrating.

donbachi:
an inlaw once use matchet on my female cousin..everyone asked for his head.some asked her to leave her marriage.when she took my advise,her marriage got born again..note:we are all imperfect beings and the devil will always raise his ugly head.

marriage got born again indeed. If he had killed her with that matchet, you won't be here typing this.

Dhinmmar:

Matchet on her? Born again indeed, maybe she's only telling you the part that you want to hear.

Go back cos of the kids, go back cos of the kids, that's how someone will die of emotional depression

Don't mind them.