Jessie21:
g.The necessary thing has been done...we stayed apart for two months before doing the right thing....Now its been less that 3months that we got back together officially and serious beating has started again,he even used a wooden chair to hit me repeatedly..... Am finally out though.

It is well with you. All these marriage palava self, e tire person.

Just take care of yourself my dear.

This life nawa......@OP be strong, dark days don't last.

Jessie21:
I don't do the stuffs you quoted....when I'm always scared of how he misunderstands and react to little things....The things you mentioned are number one thing I dare not do,its already set as default in my brain.

May the Lord prosper your ways

You are typing this because you alive.


Four months away from him with the kids and he doesnt care? If he doesnt care now, he wont care later.

Coming back gives him absolute power over you, you are telling him that he can do anything to you and go scot free and that you cant survive without him.

Please move on and be strong for yourself.

You go back the abuse will only get worst.

[quote author=Jessie21 post=86492202]I don't do the stuffs you quoted....when I'm always scared of how he misunderstands and react to little things....The things you mentioned are number one thing I dare not do,its already set as default in my brain.[/quote

Ignore that troll. Your actions and inactions should never be a reason for any man to hit you. You have no business staying in that home whether you are now officially married or not.
Better to be single and alive than to be a Mrs and dead as a result of domestic violence.
Stay strong, Sis.

[quote author=Chiebunigom1 post=86636358][/quote] Thanks

HarunaWest:
You were wrong to leave with the kids..Remember both of you are to cater for them..You should have had a heart to heart talk with him and Inform him of your decision Before hand...The fact that he doesn't have sex with you means he is having it with someone else....The sudden despise he has for you has probably stemmed from something that you did or you do. If I were you try to talk to him one more time with both parents present so you can find a way,buh if he is still unwilling, move on.

If there was anything she did wrong, what happened to communication?

donbachi:
an inlaw once use matchet on my female cousin..everyone asked for his head.some asked her to leave her marriage.when she took my advise,her marriage got born again..note:we are all imperfect beings and the devil will always raise his ugly head.

LOL.. not everyone is dat lucky if dats true

Mekenz:
you're talking as if you have not been with a woman, some of them their mouth is so sharp like a razor blade, at least she didn't say that her husband is a drunk, because is majority of them that doesn't behave rational especially when they are intoxicated. I keep saying these,marriage is not easy,it takes so much of patience, endurance and forgiveness to make a successful marriage. you can go and ask your mom what she past through at some points in her own marriage.

hahaha can u endure and forgive her when u catch her on top a man like u?

SirVintageCock:
Op, if you ever go back because you MISSED him, he will leverage on that, kill you and take away the kids. Maybe nobody called because they are tired of the violence and wish you will receive sense. Which you did and you want to fvck it up
Your husband has a faulty upbringing, maybe you do too seeing that you enjoys the sadomasochistic relation by asking this question.

Her hubby is a narcissist and she has the stockholm syndrome

Mekenz:
even the op feels like she made some form of mistakes by leaving her home,maybe her conscience is pricking her, telling her what she would have done. forget all those marriage's you think that are so rosy,just because you have not seen them quarrel each other. let me tell you, majority of good marriage s is solely dependent on the women. a good woman make her home,but the other way round tear it apart. you might not agree with me,but it is a fact.

It's solely dependent on husband and wife that's why it's called a marriage. You know the truth but hypocrisy no go gree u

CanadianNaija:


Your husband doesn’t give a Bleep about you, don’t get it twisted. Don’t use your children as an excuse, go back to him if you want, but please leave your kids with your family so that they don’t grow up thinking it’s normal for men to treat their wives with disdain.

Make your decisions but own your decisions. This is why I tell people to be wary of men and women that come from dysfunctional homes, I still remember how shocked I was as a teenager in school hearing my friend talk about how her dad beats her mum bloody, and she thought it was a normal couple way of resolving conflict.

She went on to date a guy in university that usually beat the shot out of her and she made excuses for him then, they are married now, and I’m sure it still happens, and they are raising kids that will probably follow in that footstep.

Madam pack your load and go back to your husbands house, no point advising you.

My last note very few singles here in africa come from loving background and that's the truth. Once had a guy friend who was gracious enough to let me in in his family affair. He once told me his mother has severe hearing impairment and I asked why. He explained how his father gave his mother a very resounding slap that affected her hearing till this day, and it happened when they were still kids. and guess what? his mum is as gentle as a dove and very meek, obedient and very submissive to her husband, but was she saved from battery because she was good? hell no. That little information is enough to see the picture. So can their male kids not have worst tantrums later in the future especially witnessing all that transpired between their parents?. Better leave before you get left.

Akious2k2:

Any other option except divorce... Divorce should be the last option

You just said divorce is an option. An option it is... i don't know whether OP has gone back to her hubby or not, but its still hers to make.

mysticgal:


Ogun kii you there and I pray you have a taste of your advise, or probably your sister.

You are a wife beater, I can see it, batterer!!!! Nonsense and ingredients, go back yenyen

I too like u... and it's cowardly men that are scared of strong ladies like u.. let alone marry your type kudos

spare the belt,spoil the wife

Go and beat your annoying boss at the office or that annoying conductor that refused to give you your change at the park and leave the poor woman ay-li-own.

Mekenz:
I grow up from a lovely home,my both parents are still alive, but I can tell you, during my stay in Lagos I have one neighbour like that, a young couple I must say,if you see the way and manner the woman is using insulting word's on her husband, you will have pity on the young man,she capitalize on her husband easy going nature, just because maybe she has money,more than the man. in fact to cut the story short, she is the husband, while the man is the wife, what if tomorrow the man say enough is enough, and muster the courage and start beating the woman after every insults and abuse, or better still start behaving otherwise will you still blame the man? I personal don't like the way the op paint the husband all black, one will think that she is infallible.

in my opinion he can send her out of his house like most African men are advised na...oh because the woman has money his fist is now jelly... i bet if she was broke she would have been somewhere around underbridge ikeja or modest enough her parents house.

Mekenz:
ma'am your inquisitive mind would have directed you, on what to do initially,before the issues escalated to the extent of him using his hands on you.

first I believe before things gone these bad, you must have been seeing the signs but you chooses to ignore it, when you first notice his strange behaviour, did you care to address the issues lovingly or you chooses to ignore it?

i must tell you different men has their own way of settling their issues, some chooses a life of solitude for the time being, whereas some might start doing some other funny things till they are able to get their minds together.

for him not care about his conjugal right anymore says a lot about the whole scenario, that man might be going through some difficult moments apart from finance,that you didn't care to know. the problem might be partly comes from you, you might not know,his people not calling you till these moment, says a lot about you and the issues, which I don't want to go into details about it. women needs to understand that men are humans after all, they have their emotional moments.

you would have dug deep, and know the root cause of his sudden change in attitude, before leaving the house in the first place.

try and do some recollections, you will definitely see where things went wrong, please for no just cause never use abusive words on your partner, whether jokingly or in a heated arguments.

anyways you knows him better than I do, I wish you good luck in whatever ways you decide to settle the issues.

But women are expected to follow one static pattern to deal with 'issues' right?

generationz:



Why is it that we never hear stories of men praying forbtheir wives to turn a newvleaf, it is always women Doing the praying.


I'm sure if Nigeria was like America where The man looses everything during a divorce it is the man that would be fasting and praying.

Nonsense.

Quite a pity am just stumbling on this thread at a late time. The OP has some esteem issues as a result of constant abuse by Uncle Husbandman which she needs to address first instead of waiting at the door for her Darling's return. OP go out make friends, go to parties, see some movies, dress good and smile more often, take life easy..be social media active, upload pictures don't be a bore around the kids because daddy didnt call(that's if you are still on your own), if you want him to come back or just for him to regret his actions, little things like that will get his attention.