Over the time, I've noticed that my 1 year and 2 months old daughter does not want me to carry her or stay with me. Anytime she wakes up, and maybe her mom is outside doing some house chores she will start crying even waking me up with her loud cries, I always try to pet her but she never stops and cries until she sees her mother.

Sometimes if her mother is going to the toilet or anywhere, she will start crying and I try to pet her but still same thing. Now I'm wondering if she's truly my blood because if she is, she wouldn't be acting like that regardless of saying she's still a baby.


Also, is it possible that I'm black, her mother is black and we give birth to a fair baby cos that's the situation on ground now.
There isn't any black color on her skin

House pls, has anyone ever experienced this or is it normal cos I'm getting tired already.

It's giving me serious concerns.

Should i tell him?

BTW finally!!! After 4 years!!! 1st to comment

Lol yeah very possible to give birth to a light skinned baby , in rare cases even a white child , but White couples cannot give birth to a black baby

Tell him what he wants to know

should we tell him...

It's possible to have a fair baby if any of the grandparents are fair. This happened in my case... Hubby and I are dark and our little one is fair like my Mum

Is your concern about the paternity of your kid or the fact that she only wants her mother?

Maybe you haven't been much around to bond with her. Let her mom leave her more with you for long periods. You in turn should aim to win her friendship by force by fire...gift her, sing for her, laugh with her, play with her...etc. She will come around.

Meanwhile, why don't you just do a DNA test to put your mind at rest about her paternity.

Your daughter's inability to connect with you has nothing to do with DNA, but your inability to be present and close to her at all time.

People adopt kids and connect with them, it's not all about DNA.

Bring this to your wife's notice, she'll help make her feel comfortable with you.

Get close to her, pay deaf ears to her cries, bath her, feed her, play with her, gift her, laugh with her and always try to make her feel comfortable.

It shouldnt be that hard. If the problem continue, kindly buy KOBOKO!! Simple!

Find money, do DNA test

Ur gate man, is he fair skinned??

Daughters effortlessly connect to their Dads, are you always available to her? Is your wife a housewife? She maybe be more clingy to her mum because she sees her mum around more than she sees you.

Djbond:
Over the time, I've noticed that my 1 year and 2 months old daughter does not want me to carry her or stay with me. Anytime she wakes up, and maybe her mom is outside doing some house chores she will start crying even waking me up with her loud cries, I always try to pet her but she never stops and cries until she sees her mother.

Sometimes if her mother is going to the toilet or anywhere, she will start crying and I try to pet her but still same thing. Now I'm wondering if she's truly my blood because if she is, she wouldn't be acting like that regardless of saying she's still a baby.


Also, is it possible that I'm black, her mother is black and we give birth to a fair baby cos that's the situation on ground now.
There isn't any black color on her skin

House pls, has anyone ever experienced this or is it normal cos I'm getting tired already.

It's giving me serious concerns.

Bro do you have a pet animal like a dog ? I guess not .. Interactions between u and any newborn is 90% in your control ..why am I saying this
1: she can't really understand what ur saying
2: she can't verbally communicate with you
The solution to this is in your hands .. Try to communicate genuinely using your facial expression and ur body language in its pure natural state without thinking too much .. The result will shock you
My sisters baby is always in harmony with the way I interact with her ..sometimes Grandma even says she my friend ..

And bros let me add this genetically its possible to have a fair skin baby at birth ..and its also possible she is not ur child ..

My final take .. A child is a beautiful thing even if she is not yours ..her mother is the real culprit

I have a neighbour whose son used to behave same way towards his father. He clocked 3 years just yesterday. In fact this boy instead of calling his father daddy or baba, calls his father Baba Mustapha, and he's the Mustapha ooo. He never liked staying with his father or even allowing him to carry him. He would cry to high heavens anytime his mother steps out for a few minutes leaving him with his father.

His father started buying him things whenever he's coming back from work, and will drive him to Shoprite to just go have fun and take pictures. Today, the boy loves his father so much that if his mother beats him he will threaten to tell his father when he comes back from work. And recently he will collect his mother's phone and claim it's for his daddy. He now calls him daddy and no longer Baba Mustapha.

Try make friends with your daughter and you will be amazed at the outcome.

My colleague's got the fairest baby ever, but neither herself nor her husband is light skinned. Neither of the grandparents are either. Thankfully, the baby is a carbon copy of the father.

I feel heartbroken on behalf of your wife that you're questioning the paternity of the child you both had together. Really disheartening.

Just learn to bond with your daughter. Act like a child with her...play, laugh with your teeth open... let the love in your heart radiate in your actions.

Just one more thing to blame women for....

PrimadonnaO:
My colleague's got the fairest baby ever, but neither herself nor her husband is light skinned. Neither of the grandparents are either.

I feel heartbroken on behalf of your wife that you're questioning the paternity of the child you both had together. Really disheartening.

Just learn to bond with your daughter. Act like a child with her...play, laugh with your teeth open... let the love in your heart radiate in your actions.

Gloriagee:
Just one more thing to blame women for....

As always. Too bad.

Just too bad. A hardworking woman by all accounts is now being suspected on the basis of skin color. I refrained myself from responding cos this really upset me.

PrimadonnaO:


As always. Too bad.

I feel your baby sense your emotional distance from her as you doubt her paternity through your vibe thus not feeling that secured attachment with you. In your subconscious, her paternity is not yet well established and unconsciously affecting your relationship with a child you doubt is yours. Until that is resolved in your mind, you are stuck!

you better conduct a DNA test, if your wife is not guilty she won't object


leave all these nairaland women telling you not to do it o

because it will get to a year you will be back on nairaland searching for advice


do it and have peace, then try to connect more with your daughter, that's if everything's well

What is the resemblance like
When that baby will rush you with love na u go tire,
no fairness in your wife's family?

lilmax:
you better conduct a DNA test, if your wife is not guilty she won't object


leave all these nairaland women telling you not to do it o

because it will get to a year you will be back on nairaland searching for advice


do it and have peace, then try to connect more with your daughter, that's if everything's well

u better don't tell ur wife,stop listening to kids who have zero single experience,
Do what u want to do,but don't tell her.
Marriage will pack up if the baby is yours.
Wife will never forgive ur distrust after your marital journey.
What ur baby is exhibiting is natural,when that baby will flood u with love ,u go tire,
Just give her till a year and 6 months.
Again how often does the baby see u around matters,do u feed her,wear her diaper?create bond.my hubby does all these,
Our three kids it's daddy that has been their first word.if I go out and come ,they will just hug me and continue their playing.but their father u need to see drama.they hug him,he carries them,plays with them.i have three girls.he has their time lots,when he is home.
For the fairness she may go dark later,no fairness in both families?what of the resemblance.
You can carry your DNA but if it is postive u are the dad,carry the secret to your grave if u want to still have a home to go back to

I have a one year eight months daughter who will rather stay with me than her mom. But I also noticed that some time slots are reserved for her mother ONLY. Like when she wakes up in the morning, like when she comes back from school hungry and when she wants to sleeps. Babies have needs and they warm up to the one who provide those needs.
As for me I'm her playmate( all things being equal), and comforter when she's sick, hurt, or feeling vulnerable.

My advice is warm her heart, be sincere in your interest ( children know when an interest is sincere), be more observant so as to read her hints and body language. And finally don't push it and never give up. Make yourself more available

I have not forgotten all the blows and kicks I received from my little one for attempting to pacify her in the middle of the nights, especially when she was still sucking.
Which is understandable because I don't have boobs

Except you don't trust your wife, it should have nothing to do with DNA. Some kids are very close to adults who aren't their parents. It's the way they communicate with them and play with them.

Children are simple. Just spend quality time with them, feed them, bath them, play with them and you are good. My daughter is 1 year plus and she is in love with her dad. But he's actually very involved with her. He baths her, plays ball with her, he carries her around if he's stepping out even up to going to put on the generator. She cherishes those times...just generally spending time with her.

Some fathers are more of the disciplinary figure and it makes the kids run away from them. If you are the one always saying "don't do that" "stop that", etc, they won't be free with you.

If you are doing all this and she is still only clinging to her mum, you might just need to keep bonding with her. But if you haven't been bonding with her and you are already accusing your wife of infidelity, then there's a big problem.

shitshappen:
I have a one year eight months daughter who will rather stay with me than her mom. But I also noticed that some time slots are reserved for her mother ONLY. Like when she wakes up in the morning, like when she comes back from school hungry and when she wants to sleeps. Babies have needs and they warm up to the one who provide those needs.
As for me I'm her playmate( all things being equal), and comforter when she's sick, hurt, or feeling vulnerable.

My advice is warm her heart, be sincere in your interest ( children know when an interest is sincere), be more observant so as to read her hints and body language. And finally don't push it and never give up. Make yourself more available

I have not forgotten all the blows and kicks I received from my little one for attempting to pacify her in the middle of the nights, especially when she was still sucking.
Which is understandable because I don't have boobs

If not that my daughter is 3months older than yours, I would have said you are my husband...lol. It's only when she wakes up hungry at night that it's "mummy" because she somehow believes I am in charge of her food.

My husband comes down to her level when they play. It's a joy to watch them. She's very free with him and I can go out and leave her in his care. Children are simple to bond with. If you don't spend time with them, it will show.

.

My response will be brief. Try and bond more with the child. You are not playing/ relating with much with her.

Do a DNA teat for peace of mind

Because she is your daughther does not mean the bond will be automatic, as the adult, you need to create and maintain it. Please don't let the thought about her paternity affect your closeness to your own daughter, because what the mind rejects the body is likely to reject also.

Hope you are not trying to insinuate that the child is not truly from that family, maybe the woman played away match. If that is not the case, then your bonding with the baby is questionable. How do u act around this child. Smile hug dance and sing for the child. Maintain eye contact with the child. Talk with this child even if u both don't know what u saying. Buy small things for this child. That way, u will be the one tired of carrying the child..

ImaIma1:


If not that my daughter is 3months older than yours, I would have said you are my husband...lol. It's only when she wakes up hungry at night that it's "mummy" because she somehow believes I am in charge of her food.

My husband comes down to her level when they play. It's a joy to watch them. She's very free with him and I can go out and leave her in his care. Children are simple to bond with. If you don't spend time with them, it will show.

My drycleaner was around the other Saturday and marvelled at the fact that it was just me alone with my daughter watching her cartoons and dancing to the tunes. He complained of the same thing the OP is complaining of and I gave him this same advice.

These children have minds of their own and can always tell

If you have doubts about the DNA, please clear all doubts. So that in future you will not treat that child badly because that thought will hardly leave you! Do the DNA test. As for bonding, it’s normal for children to favor their mother over their father at critical stages where they feel they need mum. So, don’t feel bad. With time she will warm up. It could also be that you are too busy and not around long enough.