Are you dating a narcissist?

Who is a narcissist? The dictionary defines a narcissist as a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish. When it comes to Psychoanalysis, a narcissist is a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes.

Several books have been written about people with narcissistic tendencies and when you date someone who is a narcissist, just know that you are in the wrong relationship. To digress a little, anyone can be a narcissist- either male or female; young or old. Parents and children.

Kristen Milstead wrote on fairytaleshadows.com:

Narcissists lure. They lure with promises, flattery, lies and sweet words. The mask shifts with each new person in their sights, adjusting to our likes and dislikes, filling in crevices to become whatever seems to be missing and fulfilling our long-lost dreams.

Scary right? There are some characteristics of narcissists and they include:

They never admit to being wrong
They avoid emotions and accountability
They get angry whenever anyone challenges them
They become childish when they don’t get their way
They instill doubts in their victims
They stonewall during conflicts or arguments
They smear and slander people
They are always in denial and they gaslight people
They subject people to the silent treatment
They triangulate you and tear you down

Here are more things to know about narcissists by Maria Consiglio:

Many Narcissists love drama, because it fuels their adrenaline, and makes them feel alive.
Narcissists have a huge problem with jealousy; they resent other people’s success, and feel entitled to it, themselves.
Narcissists pin people against each other, create chaos, and then sit back and enjoy the show. Some narcissistic individuals get a thrill and are entertained by causing chaos, and other people to fight.
The belief that narcissists are mostly men, is 100 percent absolutely not true. Many women have NPD, as well.
Narcissists slowly groom their victims, to accept abuse. It is done slowly and insidiously. That is why it’s a manner to which it is done, is why people stay and accept the abuse. Most people are confused as to what, is actually going on.
Narcissists are poisonous. They leak venom from their months, their behavior, and it all the ways they treats people. The truth is when you hang around narcissists, you get injected with the poison. Narcissists are sick and destroy you too, if you let them. that is just a fact.
The best way to deal with narcissists is always, not to deal with them. “No contact”, or limited and “emotionally detached” contact.

SOME SPEECHES BY NARCISSISTS:

You are stupid and worthless. Who do you think you are?
You are nothing to me and nothing without me
Don’t tell me what to do. I’ll tell you…
No one likes you
You don’t deserve me
Don’t dare think of leaving
You are the one who caused this

THINGS YOU CANNOT DO WITH A NARCISSIST

Be friends
Enjoy intimacy
Find peace
Share good times
Feel safe
Be comforted
Find true love
Reach consensus
Speak your truth
Reach your potential

HOW TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTS

How do you deal with a narcissist especially if you are deeply in love with them? Here are some things you can do:

Detach from reacting
Know that it is not personal
Become anti-fear
Show up as your true self
Set your boundaries
Ignore what they do
Realize that they likely won’t change
Set limits during contact times’
Surround yourself with people who can give you an honest perspective of yourself
Take care of yourself
If you can’t deal with it, then let go of all emotional ties.

SOURCE: https://opinionsandstories.com/are-you-dating-a-narcissist/