A conflict with your partner can make you feel attacked or threatened, vulnerable and weak, and this can make you recoil and retreat. When things your partner does upsets you and you feel that you’re under siege, you’re less likely to respond constructively and more likely to resort to old standbys like “the silent treatment” that, ultimately, do more harm than good. This will eventually cause your relationship to break down completely.

If anyone asked you if you knew how to resolve conflict, you’d probably say yes, and if they asked you whether the silent treatment was a smart way to deal with conflict, you’d almost certainly say no. You know better than to resort to these silly tactics, but if you’re hurt enough, you do it anyway. Why? Why fall back on negative patterns instead of working to actually fix the communication issues at hand?HOW TO ESTABLISH NEW HABITS
You must want to be constructive to make it happen, especially if you need to overcome your own hurt feelings to figure out how to fix your relationship. You may have a wonderful store of knowledge, skills and tools, but if you lack the intention to use them, the point is moot.

We have a tendency of retaliating and responding to hostility with more hostility, which creates a vicious cycle that amplifies and escalates the negativity of a conflict. This is called the retaliatory spiral, and it can cause a relationship to wither and, eventually, end. You’re using negative habits to self-sabotage.

What causes this? A conflict becomes harmful when you’re focused on defending yourself from attack rather than on solving the problem that would help the relationship overcome the obstacle. By focusing on your pain and suffering, you are ensuring you’ll experience more of the same, because you’re failing to put your energy toward the one thing that will prevent the pain and suffering: finding solutions to help you learn how to save your relationship.
It’s because people would focus all their attention on not hitting the pole. But, our focus determines our direction. If we don’t want to hit the pole, we need to focus on what we want: steer the car toward either side of the pole. By changing our focus, we can change the result. The lesson applies to your relationship. If you focus on where you don’t want your relationship to end up, fighting and letting anger build over, you’ll find yourself where you don’t want to be – either in a painful, unfulfilling relationship or separated from your partner altogether. If you focus on resolving conflict and growing together, you’ll be focused on the outcomes that you do want and you’ll achieve them. That is, envision yourself communicating well with your partner. The two of you are fulfilled and happy with one another, and have the tools you need to create a beautiful, passionate, long-lasting relationship. Where focus goes, energy flows.

By switching perspective and focus, you can turn a conflict from something bad into an opportunity to take your relationship to the next level. This demands intent, which you set ahead of time and practice in the moment. You learn to respond not with escalation, but with constructive steps that shore up the foundation of your relationship.

Thanks.... I feel like crying right now.... You are truly an angel sent to me this very day.... I'm going through this right now but immediately after this comment I will communicate...

ALL GLORY BE TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST, YOU ARE BLESS AND GOD MAKE YO[img][/img]U HAPPY AND FULFILS EVERY OF YOUR DREAMS . GOD WILL PERFECT EVERYTHING THATCONCERN YOU IN JESUS NAME.