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Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Age 25 With 1 Million Naira & Living With My Parents: Buy Land Or Pack Out? / Help!!! My Wife Is Putting Me Through This Right Now! / Why Is She Putting Me Under Pressure To Marry Her (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Legitn(m): 5:53pm On Sep 26, 2019
Which state are you gan
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Nobody: 5:55pm On Sep 26, 2019
Yes
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by pocohantas(f): 5:55pm On Sep 26, 2019
ednut1:
na kitty dey scratch this babe lol. But her parents no dey try

No mind her. When they knack her very well, she will turn "men are scum". She never see anything.

She wants to sleep in her guy's house, while changing TV stations, wearing his favourite Tee. It is not like her parents are restricting her movements, just don't sleep out. No responsible guy would even want you to do such against your parents wish.

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Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by sanmisantos(m): 5:56pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house cry

Hello Sis., I don't see a big deal in this. those guys afraid to meet your parent or meeting you in your parent's place are not ready for the right thing, hence they leave immediately they got to know. What are you into if I may ask? because from what you do, good, matured and ready guys will surface. your parents are not overprotective please. (a ngba oromu adiye lowo iku....)

1 Like

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by mysteryman2014: 5:56pm On Sep 26, 2019
Are you a graduate? Did you attend lectures from home? Normally it is better for you to stay with you parents however they must realise you are now an adult that needs a measure of freedom.

And this includes receiving Male visitors. However you need to be careful about travelling to meet someone you met online. You cant totally jettison the loving care and protection of your parents.
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Happyguy201: 5:56pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house cry


the problem is from you . first of all no guy will take u serious if they know you stay with your parent , most likely they will consider you liability at your age you should consider renting a single room self contain . leave your parents house ,

1 Like

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by jaxxy(m): 5:58pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house cry

U don’t have to go outside ur state of residence to see any guy moreso the one u just met online. What are u even thinking? U shud however be able to meet up with them at regular or public places for a date or getting aquatinted.

Don’t ur parents allow you visit or hangout with frnds around you or what? I’m still trying to understand the abnormal restriction here.

2 Likes

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Kwenty: 5:58pm On Sep 26, 2019
GrabHisBalls:
You sound immature though, and certainly not even ready for a serious relationship. Note, maturity is not in age. grin

How on earth would you expect your mum and dad to just let you go off with some random guy called a boyfriend? The introduction sef is disrespectful and if you were my child, let me reserve my comment. grin

You're a lady and men will only respect you when you respect yourself. Those guys who run don't run 'cause your parents are holding you down, they do so 'cause every of their moves will be accounted for since they already know your parents/would be meeting them.

You crave so much for disappearing for a long time with a guy and it's not a good thing. I am older than you by a few years, was once monitored 24/7, all movements must be accounted for and I can tell you that in my house, you don't sleep out without anyone knowing your whereabout. Of course, you can't tell my mum or oldest brother you want to go spend a night/more in a guy's house. They don't even want to hear you have a boyfriend, but they somehow knew I did when I was seeing someone. All my life, the only telling I did was when I was formerly proposed to, though, it later didn't work out. The few occasions I've had to disappear was from school for 3days even as an adult, they must not hear of it. Like 2yrs ago, my eldest bro wanted to know whom I was dating, but I refused and ignored his enquiries with smiles, telling him to leave me alone 'cause I hate disappointments. I have a self-con to myself, I have independence and I have one or two places to go to for sleepovers, but I don't bug. You can never see me outside my house by 8 for security reasons. I don't expect you to be me, but I think you're complaining about irrelevance for now. Lastly, the only man you should introduce to your parents is the one ready to marry you.
Exactly my dear. I don't know why she is bothered about being allowed to sleep out in a guys house. This generation has swept morality under the carpet. Must you sleep over in a man's house before he is ready to marry you? Some of us are even wishing to reverse the sleeping over and stay for the right person and she is complaining. Responsible and reasonable men will even appreciate her more like that.

5 Likes

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Opeoluwaabel: 5:58pm On Sep 26, 2019
Well, Dear Friend, i think your parents are being too protective of you at your age but then again, i think you need to be careful of the kind of freedom you are asking, there are very hurtful one... meeting people online be careful!

Regards,

1 Like

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by anonymous1759(m): 5:59pm On Sep 26, 2019
pocohantas:
Better stay in one place... What do they want you to come over for, if not knacks?

The boys you are rebelling to go meet, are the same ones that will come online to say single girls who live alone are whores.

Who told you they were POTENTIAL PARTNERS? Guys are always potential partners till they knack you from all angles. Nne, this has never prevented anyone from meeting a partner. Except you are locked inside your house all day.

Go out and mingle with guys around you. While at it, toughen up- you sound like a pushover.




Who enjoys the knacks more You girls should stop making it feels like you do us a favor by giving us knacks both parties enjoy it.
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by pocohantas(f): 5:59pm On Sep 26, 2019
Happyguy201:



the problem is from you . first of all no guy will take u serious if they know you stay with your parent , most likely they will consider you liability at your age you should consider renting a single room self contain . leave your parents house ,

Lies!!! The right statement should be, "no guy who wants steady access to the toto will take you serious".

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by tweakdude1: 5:59pm On Sep 26, 2019
Dude be patient there is more to Life of a Man than you know. Try see the positive sides of what your parents are doing to you than who your youthful mind is telling you.
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by infogenerator(m): 6:00pm On Sep 26, 2019
I once dated a girl from Akure, we both served together in the northern part of Nigeria as corpers....her dad was a retired Army officer but a very cool man, though never net him.... Truth is some guys you have met online might not be able to visit you right away due to their nature of job, not everyone who wants you to visit first is a ritualist or has an evil motive....... But like someone suggested already, try to be more social offline this might eliminate the problem of distance in any subsequent relationship... And for the record, living with your parents is something that a reasonable dude will appreciate and even love about you.... Don't be discouraged just yet....
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by saasala(m): 6:00pm On Sep 26, 2019
GrabHisBalls:
You sound immature though, and certainly not even ready for a serious relationship. Note, maturity is not in age. grin

How on earth would you expect your mum and dad to just let you go off with some random guy called a boyfriend? The introduction sef is disrespectful and if you were my child, let me reserve my comment. grin

You're a lady and men will only respect you when you respect yourself. Those guys who run don't run 'cause your parents are holding you down, they do so 'cause every of their moves will be accounted for since they already know your parents/would be meeting them.

You crave so much for disappearing for a long time with a guy and it's not a good thing. I am older than you by a few years, was once monitored 24/7, all movements must be accounted for and I can tell you that in my house, you don't sleep out without anyone knowing your whereabout. Of course, you can't tell my mum or oldest brother you want to go spend a night/more in a guy's house. They don't even want to hear you have a boyfriend, but they somehow knew I did when I was seeing someone. All my life, the only telling I did was when I was formerly proposed to, though, it later didn't work out. The few occasions I've had to disappear was from school for 3days even as an adult, they must not hear of it. Like 2yrs ago, my eldest bro wanted to know whom I was dating, but I refused and ignored his enquiries with smiles, telling him to leave me alone 'cause I hate disappointments. I have a self-con to myself, I have independence and I have one or two places to go to for sleepovers, but I don't bug. You can never see me outside my house by 8 for security reasons. I don't expect you to be me, but I think you're complaining about irrelevance for now. Lastly, the only man you should introduce to your parents is the one ready to marry you.

I would like to know you
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Happyguy201: 6:00pm On Sep 26, 2019
pocohantas:


Lies!!! The right statement should be, "no guy who wants steady access to the toto will take you serious".



but she should consider moving out from her parents house .
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Herroy: 6:00pm On Sep 26, 2019
GraGra247:


Did you even listen to me. The guy has no business coming to see your mom till he's ready to start the marriage process.

He should get himself a hotel room in town to spend his nights. You only go to see him at an eatery around your area and discuss with him and find out everything about him.

The rest other discussions can be on whatsapp chat till he's ready to bring his people and come and officially see your parents.

The only avenue he has to physically meet with you is in an eatry till he sees your parents with his family members and formalize his intent.




A million likes. Thank you for this very sensible advice.

3 Likes

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by papyskinsy: 6:01pm On Sep 26, 2019
KaBabs1:
Babe, you already know your problem. Find a way to get off your parents leash. I recently advised a friend of mine currently in your shoes to enroll for masters, that way she'll have a legit reason to quit leaving with her parents at least temporarily.




Meanwhile, we are in need of creative writers that enjoy writing fiction stories. If you know you have top-notch writing skills and would love to get paid for it, send a sample of your work to workndearn@gmail.com

NB: There's no letter 'a' in 'nd' in the above email. Also, your sample should be 2 pages (1000 words) long.

can u imagine.. na wa oh.. going for masters has now become a place of refuge where ppl can life freely

1 Like

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by jimmyolasun: 6:02pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:

I see
oh! I see you too
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Nobody: 6:03pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house cry
Can we talk on WhatsApp pls
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Adinije(f): 6:05pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:

But why are these kind of guys scarce in reality? They are making me feel like being a good lady doesn't hold water. One ended whatever we were trying to build with that line "you're a good girl..."
Stop seeking validation from people. Most especially, fvckboyz.

3 Likes

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Nobody: 6:05pm On Sep 26, 2019
pocohantas:


She wants to sleep in her guy's house, while changing TV stations, wearing his favourite Tee.

Chai - you took me down memory lane. Good times. cry
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by ProductofGrace: 6:05pm On Sep 26, 2019
Living with your parent is not putting you at disadvantage, you need a man who is understanding and will give you time till the relationship has mautred to the point that there is parental consent from both side. Visiting a man you met on social media can expose you to untold danger, most of them will take you for a runs girl. I'll advise that you pray that God give you a faithful husband that will truely love. Visiting a man is not a guarantee that he will marry you. Your husband may be in that your town take your eyes away from social media.

3 Likes

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by SolarHub(m): 6:05pm On Sep 26, 2019
Hmmmmm!

CHECK MY SIGNATURE NOW
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Ekeseges(f): 6:07pm On Sep 26, 2019
My sister,your parents mean well for you.visiting guys you have not met before is dangerous. You could be killed etc.I advise you to serve God wherever you Go to church and your hubby would locate you.God is not a man
Ifemide123:

I'm really sad about this. I have a shop I run here so except I get a good job outside our town I can't just leave. The best bet is to rent a place and stay on my own but No! I am not married so why should a single lady live alone in same town with her parents? Yet they won't give me the freedom I should have. I can't stay beyond 7 outside, I can't visit a boyfriend in his own town too.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by starwiss(m): 6:07pm On Sep 26, 2019
I feel your mood coz I'm in one now, just set your sights to get your own apartment regardless of if your parents are in the same town. That's why children get spoilt under the noses of their parent.
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by pocohantas(f): 6:08pm On Sep 26, 2019
Happyguy201:




but she should consider moving out from her parents house .

Bros, if her reason for wanting to move is to be visiting men- she should remain there.

You mean if my bf is in America, he would take me unserious because I am living in my parents house? Even when he knows I work and earn?

He would even be happy knowing that I can't move upandan like evil spirit.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by karkinase(m): 6:09pm On Sep 26, 2019
Op wants the D. Nothing more, Nothing less cool

2 Likes

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by BRATISLAVA: 6:10pm On Sep 26, 2019
OvaSabi1:
Ifemide123 you cannot lie ni? Lie that you are going for a friend's wedding or job interview or secondary school re union or something jare. Training, conferences, etc.
But be careful like someone mentioned above, if you're meeting someone for the first time, let it be in a public place. Don't let them serve food before you arrive. Let at least a friend know where you are going and forward the guy's details to the friend. Why don't you start a post graduate program and mix up with fellow single classmates? You will get a chance to develop yourself and still mingle.

And if something happens to her after lying that she's some place else? You are advising her to lie to meet strange men. Is it the friends who will care enough to raise alarm?
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by berbz(m): 6:10pm On Sep 26, 2019
Will u stay one place ... I haven't seen a lady complain about staying with her parents. Why are so in a hurry? Any man dat can love you for staying with your parent won't love u if u are living alone .
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by nunnu: 6:11pm On Sep 26, 2019
izzou:
grin

Visit a boyfriend you met online?
I hope you read about the Port Harcourt serial killer. Don't endanger your life Abeg grin

Let me stop here for now grin

Any serious guy will not mind you living with your parents. Is only those who want to use you and dump you without a trace are they ones concerned that you live with your parents.

1 Like

Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by StarOnEarth(m): 6:11pm On Sep 26, 2019
luminouz:

Ermm....is your sister married yet hommie?

Just asking wink
Nope, she is just 25 too
Re: Living With My Parents Is Putting Me At A Disadvantage by Kwenty: 6:11pm On Sep 26, 2019
Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house cry
Please erase that worries from your mind, because I can't see anything wrong with living in your parents house. Must you sleep in a guys house for him to show interest in marriage? Or are you that desperate? See let me tell you, a responsible guy will never see that as a challenge unless it's chop and clean mouth guys. There is no special meeting point to get a marriage partner, so you don't need to roam the whole city to attract one. Build your self esteem, your life partner can show up anywhere even on your way back from shop. Abi na konji things, you kukuma talk am.

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