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I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage - Family (3) - Nairaland

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I Cheated-my Marriage Is Falling Apart / I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by cooooooks(m): 3:01pm On Nov 05, 2019
fulaniHERDSman:

Very rude from a woman ... and U senselessly re-echoed my last line.
Now I see why some foolish women go through domestic violence. Online world Shaa.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by merit1988(f): 3:58pm On Nov 05, 2019
So many PMs.....hmmmmm embarassed

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Nobody: 4:09pm On Nov 05, 2019
merit1988:
in selfish reasons,u mean? Oh pls,u know nothing much abt me,so don't think I'm one of those golddiggers ur familiar with

I wonder what you were expecting before when you gave no background to your story and you want complete strangers to advice you.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Saintmary(f): 5:36pm On Nov 05, 2019
Marriage is not a bed of roses madam, I will suggest you confide in an elderly person, most preferably your mom.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by merit1988(f): 3:54pm On Nov 07, 2019
Saintmary:
Marriage is not a bed of roses madam, I will suggest you confide in an elderly person, most preferably your mom.
mum is late.... thanks for your advice though
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by mindful01: 5:12pm On Nov 07, 2019
I said this earlier but she won't listen
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Bbbwings: 5:14pm On Nov 07, 2019
Ariza:
I read a thread here sometimes ago where Men were advised to marry and learn to love those who love them and only use and dump those they love.I asked how does one learn to love but my question was left unanswered, the ones who tried to answer only danced around it. No procedure or How to was provided and I laughed. How men bask judiciously in so much ignorance amuse me! They believe women learn to love so they can do it too.But only the wise one would ask how women easily divert this so called love on their children as soon as they are born neglecting the fathers. Was the love ever there?


The truth is you can never learn to love, you can only learn to appreciate.Love is not something you can create but Gratitude, you can. The misconception comes when people mix up love and gratitude. Contrary to what we see movies like a man learning to love the woman he was force to marry, No! he only learned to appreciate and live with the woman after his brain has been reconfigured by a terrible situation that might have caused him to lose the Good woman.

Op, you can't learn to love. You can only learn to appreciate, learn to be with and learn to accept your Man. In this case, look at the positive sides of things, compare his good qualities to what others do not have and accept him. I wish you luck.
Nobody should talk again
You Don talk everything

3 Likes

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Antoeni(m): 5:15pm On Nov 07, 2019
That is why Working Experience is very Important
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by olayi1992: 5:15pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
most times, it's not how long ,but how well... pple date for years b4 marriage and still end up getting divorced...that's what I'm trying had to avoid
do u guys try to understand ursef? Tho am not married but wat I know from my parents union is dat understanding goes a long way in marriage, wen understand is there that wen u get to love.

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Zimmermann(m): 5:16pm On Nov 07, 2019
Too much childish talk going on here...*leaves thread*

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by BlackCrainte: 5:16pm On Nov 07, 2019
Use your present husband for money rituals.


Your real husband will walk up to you after that.

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Bbbwings: 5:16pm On Nov 07, 2019
Breaststroke:


For some inexplicable reason this made me laugh.

I think unselfish reasons would be ones closely aligned with what heaven originally intended, namely

1. Companionship
2. Sex/intimacy within God's blueprint.

@ OP, sorry I don't know what might help.
Pls what kind of sex is God's blueprint
Missionary? sad

2 Likes

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by grandstar(m): 5:18pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful cry

I checked your profile and noticed that your most visited forum is the Dating forum. Visiting such a forum will breed wrong romantic feelings in your heart. It is as if you're still searching for Prince Romeo. You're waiting for that shining knight who will sweep you off your feet.

Be pragmatic. You're already married. Only single people should visit such places. Stop hurting and putting yourself in danger by visiting such places. Stop wishing for a fantasy

9 Likes

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Edyice: 5:19pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful cry


You need lad like me cool

Let start from here

Look for me and

Forget about the rest ...
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Depressed101: 5:19pm On Nov 07, 2019
Ariza:
I read a thread here sometimes ago where Men were advised to marry and learn to love those who love them and only use and dump those they love.I asked how does one learn to love but my question was left unanswered, the ones who tried to answer only danced around it. No procedure or How to was provided and I laughed. How men bask judiciously in so much ignorance amuse me! They believe women learn to love so they can do it too.But only the wise one would ask how women easily divert this so called love on their children as soon as they are born neglecting the fathers. Was the love ever there?


The truth is you can never learn to love, you can only learn to appreciate.Love is not something you can create but Gratitude, you can. The misconception comes when people mix up love and gratitude. Contrary to what we see movies like a man learning to love the woman he was force to marry, No! he only learned to appreciate and live with the woman after his brain has been reconfigured by a terrible situation that might have caused him to lose the Good woman.

Op, you can't learn to love. You can only learn to appreciate, learn to be with and learn to accept your Man. In this case, look at the positive sides of things, compare his good qualities to what others do not have and accept him. I wish you luck.
wow how can someone dig out my mind in so much detail without my permission... You killed it... I hope op takes your advice

2 Likes

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by auduadeniyi(m): 5:19pm On Nov 07, 2019
Please nairaland let help this young boy

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Hotzone(m): 5:20pm On Nov 07, 2019
Tony142:




We know, but during the dating periods, u should have seen this sign and try to tackle it before marriage, that y I was asking weather ona no date? How old is the marriage?

Please, it’s whether not atmospheric weather

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Starhearts: 5:20pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful cry

Who did diz to u?
Wetin dey sweet ur belle

My advice is
always give am d pussy anytime gin request for am

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by grandstar(m): 5:20pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
I got married as a young virgin...probably didnt understand what love was all about then....

I've never really felt love or being loved in my marriage..coupled with some other marriage issues..

I wear the shoes and I know where it hurts...all I need is advices on how to build my love life and not yabs pls...it's very hurtful cry

When you said young virgin, how old were you? I feel the minimum age a lady should marry is 25 while for a man is 26years. There may be a lot of immaturity if you marry below that age.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by jimmyLd101: 5:22pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
in selfish reasons,u mean? Oh pls,u know nothing much abt me,so don't think I'm one of those golddiggers ur familiar with
Reputable family peleee... That's where the selfishness come from why don't you marry the opposite they probably recommended you guys for each other
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by West2019(m): 5:22pm On Nov 07, 2019
are you in lag
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Myhusband(m): 5:22pm On Nov 07, 2019
Tony142:




How long did u and your husband dated before marriage? Abi ona no date?


Merit1988 you won't get a genuine advise if you don't answer this question

Rules of marriage;

2 Likes

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by webngnews: 5:24pm On Nov 07, 2019
Oh
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by grandstar(m): 5:24pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
if ur "selfish reasons" means financial or monetary gain,well I'm sorry to disappoint you...we are both from reputable and we'll to do families....so I'm wondering what else u literally mean by selfish reasons

Was your husband a virgin? Did he share the values you have? Was he a player?
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by toprealman: 5:25pm On Nov 07, 2019
Tony142:




How long did u and your husband dated before marriage? Abi ona no date?
Second paragraph renders your question irrelevant.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by whitering: 5:26pm On Nov 07, 2019
e
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by gwinaB(m): 5:26pm On Nov 07, 2019
PrincessNZ:
Nonsense talk.






To the OP,

Either you or your husband or both of you married for selfish reasons. Love is permanent when two people marry for unselfish reasons.


Nothing is permanent, not even love. Marriage sustenance transcends just love. Love ends and can be reignited.

1 Like

Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Nobody: 5:27pm On Nov 07, 2019
merit1988:
So many PMs.....hmmmmm embarassed
Ignore them all. They will only cause disaster in your life. Simply face ur life and marriage. Read up books about marriage and passion.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Osyxcel(m): 5:29pm On Nov 07, 2019
sweetmelanin:
OP I understand how you are feeling... and trust me, as you get older, it will affect your sex life in devastating ways.
I know the love isn't there anymore but do you at least like him as a person? If so, you guys can still live together in friendship. There are marriages out there like that (mine inclusive)... sometimes it's hard to walk away from a marriage when there isn't a " tangible " reason like domestic violence, cheating etc... society can be so judgemental and it really sucks. I totally get you dear.

To me, the most important thing in a relationship/marriage should be true companionship. Once that is not there or lost, then things may not be as they used to.

In true companionship, you learn to understand, appreciate, love and respect each other. Add other things such as good sexual life and financial stability, hence, a solid union is built.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by jclassiq(m): 5:29pm On Nov 07, 2019
What do you mean by "never felt love or being loved in marriage"? You mean he doesn't take you to romantic date nights, surprises you with gifts, serves you breakfast in bed? Abi?

Or does he treat you badly? Neglects you?

Madam, I have an advice for you: IF IT'S NOT BROKEN, PLS DON'T FIX IT.


Na so e dey start, before long now you don begin dey run around dey sleep around in the name of " experiencing love". Nonsense.

Abeg u better park well for your husband house.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Mike008(m): 5:30pm On Nov 07, 2019
Seek the advice of a professional counsellor.
Responses here won't help much.
With a counselor you get to communicate face to face, heart to heart. If possible your husband will be invited too.
Don't allow (especially unmarried) folks like us relate your situation with what we see in movies, hear from others but never really experienced and advice you therefrom.
Relationships are far distinct from marriages.
Not every situation applies to marriage.
If you can't find a counselor, look up book on marriage written by experts.
I loved my GF so much but was never ever able to give a convincing answer about marriage.
Re: I'm Struggling With Love In My Marriage by Badonasty(m): 5:34pm On Nov 07, 2019
I dey always pity girls wey dey keep their virginity till wedding night...

1 Like

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