mysticwarrior:

Zainab20198:

Support your niece and her baby and as for the idiot of your husband, divorced him , yes divorced you , packed your stuffs and leave with your kids. God will provide for you and your children. You will be fine as a single mother than living with an idiot who cannot control his penis. Talking from experience. Message me if you want to chat more

You must be a very wicked woman for advicing another woman to divorce her husband, now its your turn we are waiting for you to do the same

A husband that impregnates your niece , is that one a husband or a colossal calamity?

yeyeosoronga:
Please, why are people calling the OP names because she advised another woman to divorce her husband?
She has just come here to ask for advice too, and you can give yours eg divorce your husband, work on your marriage, give up your children for adoption so you can face your husband etc
She still has the final say about the decision to take, but she just needs counsel and ideas from others.
Secondly, circumstances are different..
I would also honestly advice divorce for a marriage where one of the partners sleeps with or gets pregnant for a relative of their spouse. It's a no-brainer, unless of course there are still certain circumstances where divorce may not be feasible. There are boundaries you should never cross, and relatives are one of such IMO so I don't think she's done bad by advocating divorce in such a situation.
Every case should be judged individually with the surrounding circumstances at that time

Her own case also calls for a divorce. After all the two cases involve cheating. So, cheating na cheating. The op should divorce and move on.

yeyeosoronga:
Please, why are people calling the OP names because she advised another woman to divorce her husband?
She has just come here to ask for advice too, and you can give yours eg divorce your husband, work on your marriage, give up your children for adoption so you can face your husband etc
She still has the final say about the decision to take, but she just needs counsel and ideas from others.
Secondly, circumstances are different..
I would also honestly advice divorce for a marriage where one of the partners sleeps with or gets pregnant for a relative of their spouse. It's a no-brainer, unless of course there are still certain circumstances where divorce may not be feasible. There are boundaries you should never cross, and relatives are one of such IMO so I don't think she's done bad by advocating divorce in such a situation.
Every case should be judged individually with the surrounding circumstances at that time

OP doesn't need anyone's advice, she knows the right thing to do and she only came here to gather sympathy and she is not going to get it from us.

yeyeosoronga:


A husband that impregnates your niece , is that one a husband or a colossal calamity?

and what do you think is the best advice to be given to a woman who advice other married people to get divorced during marital crisis?

The main issue is that in modern marriages balance has to be made.
In running the home, a house help or nanny will be needed. Since most men don't do domestic duty, although some do.

But on the other hand its wrong for a woman to neglect a man by giving all attention to the children. This pushes a lot of men into the arms of other women.

Though I am not supporting your husband, but, the truth is that successful marriage is a work. Many couples stop working on there marriage, which is just between the two couples excluding children.
When this is not done, the marriage is already developing crack. That's why many marriages are folding up, you began to question why getting married in the first place.


But there are couples that are still getting it right, having fabulous and wonderful relationships between them, still good friends, and companion. And honestly I believe this should be the goal of every marriage, but if not, then na scam and deception then.

What is it with men neglecting their families then turn around and start playing the victim?
Isn't it the man neglecting the family in the case?
Should she ignore the triplets to appease a grown man?
Doesn't it make more sense for the man, the supposed 'head of house', to join her in spending time with their kids?

@djon78,

I think u mean nigerian marriages not modern marriages. Why is childcare a taboo for our men? The benefits are so beneficial to every member of the family. Its a bonding activity for you and your wife and becomes less of a chore for her, you finish earlier with time for yourselves.your kids also bond with you and don't just see you as a provider, everyone is happy. love and marriage is soo easy if we all treat our partners the way we would like to be treated.
These are really the end times..

What do you expect when a woman start denying her husband of his matrimonial right?. Some men don't joke with sex.

Miarose:
@djon78,

I think u mean nigerian marriages not modern marriages. Why is childcare a taboo for our men? The benefits are so beneficial to every member of the family. Its a bonding activity for you and your wife and becomes less of a chore for her, you finish earlier with time for yourselves.your kids also bond with you and don't just see you as a provider, everyone is happy. love and marriage is soo easy if we all treat our partners the way we would like to be treated.
These are really the end times..

Like I said, a lot of men don't do domestic duty. They feel that, it brings room for ridicule from there wife or next he turns to erand boy. What most do is they pay for the services of nannies or get one from village. I have sisters married and none of there husbands do that. And all of them are professionals, with good paying jobs.

In fact our first daughter has 2 nannies, and oga pays for there services.

Some men still help, but it depends on the wife's attitude also. Some women will start belittling the man. And moreover most men focus on making money. That's the way they were raised.

But on the other hand, like I said women tend to overlook there husbands. And yes it's prevalent in many marriages.
Couples should support each other, man in easing the home run for the woman through the best way either by hiring nanny or helping out. Woman should have time for the husband, that way the issues are addressed, but if not so, they are opening doors for marital problem.
And this is a major problem in today's marriages. Its not something to hide.

I said modern marriages concerning Nigeria.

Shibaraba:
Three posts on this screen shot. On all of them you gave one advice...... Divorce. Follow your advice. Bye

check mate.

Shibaraba:
Three posts on this screen shot. On all of them you gave one advice...... Divorce. Follow your advice. Bye

Really shows how most people who gives stupid advice here on Nairaland also goes through same faith

Hey Zainab,

Sorry about your experience.

You’ve done nothing to warrant this treatment and heart break. Don’t let your husband cow you into believing you’re responsible for his irresponsibility.

Given that you acknowledge your little defiance in catering to his sexual needs, he should have been able to speak with you about his needs and also do the needful by supporting you with home chores.

Discuss roles and responsibilities with him, tell him you can’t afford sharing him for too many reasons including his own well-being. But not without him first recognizing, acknowledging and truly apologizing about his infidelity to you.

Best regards/wishes to the triplets and your family.

Zainab20198:
I recently found out my husband of 5 years has been cheating on me , he accidentally left his Facebook account open on my laptop and I read everything. He told this girl he loves her and want to spend the rest of his life with her, I confronted him and his side of things is I have been pushing him away to care for our very high needs 2 years old triplets sons and my sons needs constant attention , it’s very tiring working , caring for the kids and keeping the house clean with no house help. I know I have my faults , and all my energy goes into the kids and trying to keep the households running , so there isn’t much left at the end of day. I’m always tired and once the kids are sleeping I’m far to tired to do anything ... like sex. He knows all this yet I’m at fault. I feel heart broken , I try to talk to him and he just blames me , even if I’m in wrong , how is cheating justified by what I have done ? I don’t know what to do ?

elektra:
What is it with men neglecting their families then turn around and start playing the victim?
Isn't it the man neglecting the family in the case?
Should she ignore the triplets to appease a grown man?
Doesn't it make more sense for the man, the supposed 'head of house', to join her in spending time with their kids?

just listen to how you sound like a clown, "join her in spending time with the kids" so he should abandoned the time he uses to fetch money to take care of the family and sit at home with the wife and children abi? You try well well, clap for yourself.

mysticwarrior:
just listen to how you sound like a clown, "join her in spending time with the kids" so he should abandoned the time he uses to fetch money to take care of the family and sit at home with the wife and children abi? You try well well, clap for yourself.

Shut the fvck up, you piece of sh.it!
He was fetching money at the time he was chasing and sleeping with someone else abi? Foolish Goat!
Time that he could have used to build his family, he used it to woo and fvck pvssy. Then this monkey above is telling me he was chasing money. Chasing money kee you there!

elektra:

Shut the fvck up, you piece of sh.it!
He was fetching money at the time he was chasing and sleeping with someone else abi? Foolish Goat!
Time that he could have used to build his family, he used it to woo and fvck pvssy. Then this monkey above is telling me he was chasing money. Chasing money kee you there!

wow how did you escaped from a psychiatric home, you already concluding guilt without evidential analysis, did you see the man with your two eyes sleeping with someone els? Idiot.

Triplets without help You wont have time for anything else, and will be constantly stressed.


It seems some men dont understand the effort it takes to take care of children.

mysticwarrior:
wow how did you escaped from a psychiatric home, you already concluding guilt without evidential analysis, did you see the man with your two eyes sleeping with someone els? Idiot.

LMAO @ bolded, awon FBI.
I will show my evidence when you present your own evidence of the man chasing money.

Until then, SIT THE FVCK DOWN!

elektra:


LMAO @ bolded, awon FBI.
I will show my evidence when you present your own evidence of the man chasing money.

Before then, SIT THE FVCK DOWN!

make I speak pidgin for you because e clear say you no go school, because if you go school you would know that I gave my analysia based on reasonable evidence, but you already draw conclusions out of preconceived bigotry, na people like una dey give men wahala for house with una bad character, what a Jezebel gosh.

mysticwarrior:
make I speak pidgin for you because e clear say you no go school, because if you go school you would know that I gave my analysia based on reasonable evidence, but you already draw conclusions out of preconceived bigotry, na people like una dey give men wahala for house with una bad character, what a Jezebel gosh.

Where is the evidence? Like I said, provide evidence of the man chasing money or SIT THE FVCK DOWN!

You quoted me first with insults yet it is ME that has bad character? I will show you bad character today. Provide your evidence oga FBI or SHUT UP! Monkey banana.

StPete:
One thing most women don’t know is that the moment your attention totally shifts to the kids and place them on high priority, you’re gradually losing your husband. The neglect we feel even though society does not expect us to lament is much more than mere words can describe. Always consider your husband first as you both are living your lives while the kids will grow up and live theirs with their own family.

Not when she is taking care of triplets alone and also doing the housework. When she is not a superhero. The man needs to get involved with his family, get help for his wife instead of conveniently using it as an excuse and cheating.

Do you understand what triplets means?

Can you even care for one child all by yourself let alone three children.
Gosh you sound so insufferable talking crap about stuff you know absolutely nothing about. Oversabi

Someone is stuck taking care of triplets by herself without help and all you can do is victim blame.

You’re not even remotely qualified to comment on this thread. Just because you have data doesn’t mean you have to comment. Move along please.

Nonsense

StPete:


This is going out of context. Diverting attention to your kids does not necessarily mean been overworked. It simply means your kids appear to mean more than the husband. Most times, these happens to women who consider marriage simply for child bearing.

elektra:


Where is the evidence? Like I said, provide evidence of the man chasing money or SIT THE FVCK DOWN!

You quoted me first with insults yet it is ME that has bad character? I will show you bad character today. Provide your evidence oga FBI or SHUT UP! Monkey banana.

Will you shut up my friend

cococandy:
Do you understand what triplets means?

Can you even care for one child all by yourself let alone three children.
Gosh you sound so insufferable talking crap about stuff you know absolutely nothing about. Oversabi

Someone is stuck taking care of triplets by herself without help and all you can do is victim blame.

You’re not even remotely qualified to comment on this thread. Just because you have data doesn’t mean you have to comment. Move along please.

Nonsense

Shut up. The husband is more important

elektra:
What is it with men neglecting their families then turn around and start playing the victim?
Isn't it the man neglecting the family in the case?
Should she ignore the triplets to appease a grown man?
Doesn't it make more sense for the man, the supposed 'head of house', to join her in spending time with their kids?

Thank you! If he helped around the house more them for see more quality time together. So truth is he wanted to taste other ladies and he saw a good opportunity to do it.

Zainab20198:
I recently found out my husband of 5 years has been cheating on me , he accidentally left his Facebook account open on my laptop and I read everything. He told this girl he loves her and want to spend the rest of his life with her, I confronted him and his side of things is I have been pushing him away to care for our very high needs 2 years old triplets sons and my sons needs constant attention , it’s very tiring working , caring for the kids and keeping the house clean with no house help. I know I have my faults , and all my energy goes into the kids and trying to keep the households running , so there isn’t much left at the end of day. I’m always tired and once the kids are sleeping I’m far to tired to do anything ... like sex. He knows all this yet I’m at fault. I feel heart broken , I try to talk to him and he just blames me , even if I’m in wrong , how is cheating justified by what I have done ? I don’t know what to do ?

You are trying too hard for someone that doesn't even notice. Is this the imbalance you guys agreed upon before saying I do in front of a priest?

Your current model ain't sustainable. You could work yourself to death or he brings home some deadly diseases.

You guys must sit down and discuss what works for you guys.

Hypocrite op. Why can't you take your advise

Madam most of the comments have seen are either blaming u for shifting ur attention to the kids,u doing all house works alone and u been not there for yourself either. The truth is every man cheats directly or indirectly. it is in our nature to do so but not what we are proud about cos its bad in every aspect. All u need to do, Get a house cleaner that works thrice in a week, know that ur husband is ur first child,love him adorably with ur kids, show them care and affection. never bother to check his phone anymore neither accusing him of cheating. In a nutshell "love urself" most. Enjoy ur family mrs.

Shibaraba:
Three posts on this screen shot. On all of them you gave one advice...... Divorce. Follow your advice. Bye

Simple. She should follow her advice. It is why I don't recommend seeking marital advice online because most of these advisers are suffering from similar issues. Forming voltron online and being a sheep offline.

Madam Zainab, divorce your husband. Don't change the goalpost in the middle of the game!

cococandy:
Do you understand what triplets means?

Can you even care for one child all by yourself let alone three children.
Gosh you sound so insufferable talking crap about stuff you know absolutely nothing about. Oversabi

Someone is stuck taking care of triplets by herself without help and all you can do is victim blame.

You’re not even remotely qualified to comment on this thread. Just because you have data doesn’t mean you have to comment. Move along please.

Nonsense

I would not dignify you with a response because that’s what you’re craving. I know your type. If you are frustrated, take your frustrations to your family members. Now get the fvck out of my mentions and never you quote me again

StPete:


I would not dignify you with a response because that’s what you’re craving. I know your type. If you are frustrated, take your frustrations to your family members. Now get the fvck out of my mentions and never you quote me again

yet you still mentioned me

Go away and keep to things you understand

Why don’t they dump the triplets in a dumpster so she can have time for the husband

Or the stupid husband can help out and they both have time for each other. Senseless

Yinibixema:

Shut up. The husband is more important

Sometimes people just use their phones to type out absolute nonsense to people they would never dare to if they were to meet in real life. Just because cyberspace has brought us to deliberate on a topic does not give any one the right to insult. Topics are meant to be discussed with divergent views, if my idea does not suit you, type yours and give the OP your own idea. It is not under compulsion that we must agree or think along the same line. But quoting someone and insulting the person just because u do not agree with their points is the lowest of lows. Give yourselves brain