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Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 - Literature - Nairaland

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Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 5:12pm On Oct 24
Hello.

I know I'm late. I actually had plans to finish up with the stories before posting them here so as to not waste time with updates but shaa, life happened and I realized I couldn't keep up with that plan.

So I will give you guys what I already have and then update as much as I can.

DISCLAIMER
All rights reserved. No part of this story may be lifted,
reproduced or utilized in any form or by any electronic,
mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter
invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any
information storage or retrieval system without
permission from the writer, Chipappii or I go drag you like an Onitsha main market thief.

Bloggers and Facebook page admins be warned!

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 6:55pm On Oct 24
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 7:05pm On Oct 24
Hh
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 7:08pm On Oct 24
One

Hello. It’s us again. Me, myself and my beautiful bride, Chinaza, the best thing to ever happen to me. And oh, of course, the twins, the best thing to ever happen to us. In case you are wondering or probably have forgotten who I am or who the heck we are, well, it’s only natural that you forget. Of course it’s been a long time but hey, it’s your favorite playboy. The one without a dime in his pocket and Chinaza is my nemesis, my very beautiful, dearly beloved nemesis. The twins are the price I had to pay or rather, we had to pay for dabbling into things bigger than us but hey again, no regrets about it all. They are beautiful, they look like me [Not that I am suspecting Naza of cheating or something like that but hey again, nothing bejoys a father more than knowing that both his kids has a major semblance of him] and then we love them. We love them so much so that we named them after ourselves, Chinecherem and Chinaza.

Did I mention that I am a playboy? Of course, only a playboy gets a twin few months after his 23rd birthday. Yes I am 23 and this is the pathetic story of my life. Not drastically pathetic by the way, in fact, you will come to realize that such crimes as being a playboy [if you can actually call it a crime, we will let the ladies decide…] actually pays, in several, diverse ways. Having kids along with it is not exactly a good payment, you are warned.
So I have my faults, as you will come to discover along the way, and Chinaza has come to stick with me because according to her, she understands that a man has got to do what he has got to do, however, for me, I have refused to understand that a lady has got to do what she has got to do. Chinaza is mine and mine alone and I am never ever sharing her with anybody. I can only share a bit of her with my twins and that’s all. Just a bit of her.

She had actually been with me through the toughs and the thins, not that the toughs were actually tough for me or the thins thin for me but then, they were for her and I did appreciate that and I also appreciate her, even though I don’t tell it to her. I just assumed she should have known by now, at least I didn’t bail on her when she told me about the pregnancy and I always try to stick around for her those days that she needs someone to yell at and everyone around would yell back at her. I am that very supportive and I love her more than life itself. More than our twins too.

I could talk on and on about her until this page is full or you are bored and falling in love with her. Trust me, she deserves it all. Tall and beautiful, curvy and so hot she could iron three shirts and two trousers and still stay smoking, no guy ever came across Chinaza and ever stops talking about her. Even my kids, I mean our kids, they seem to understand this very hot thing about their mother and had since taken a liken to her, actually more than they do me. You can’t blame them though, not when they only get to see me once in a week, but I am not a deadbeat dad, no, far from that. Just that I am young and yet to understand how to do this father thing.

Chinaza is fine, yes, I have said that enough but I prolly can never stop. A lot of people are actually surprised as to how I can have a beau like her and still run after other girls, but don’t break your head so much over it, even I am surprised at myself.

I would have loved to continue with my rant about my baby mama being beautiful but then, even I am starting to get bored so I will just talk about the rest of us. My family actually.

I have a handsome father. I know because a lot of the girls around would always ask me why my father looks better than I do and trust me, I look good, at least, according to my mirror.

So my father is cute and we took after him in a couple of things but the most pronounced among them is the randy lifestyle. He had/still has an eye for beautiful things and we the kids equally don’t settle for less.

My mother is beautiful and we all love her. Only makes noise when it has to do with her boys, the next noise she makes is when she is praying to her heavenly father. Other than that, she is a shadow that is always there when we need her.

My elder brother is a clown that bears a clownish name. He is Williams and we call him Willie. He is a cute clown but still a clown. He is my best friend and my brother too. A bad boy with a beard that will have any girl drooling. He has a thing or two going on with Chinelo, Chinaza’s elder sister. They don’t have kids yet, apparently, Willie knows how to be uptight with his game but he is still a crown to me though.

I have sisters too. Two of them. Very beautiful and very well sought after in the neighborhood but they have what I can’t call high taste. Let’s just say they have absurd taste in their men and not everyone can possibly fit into their ideal partner, matter of fact, not a lot of people can. Take Rita for example. She is the eldest girl, 28, chocolate skin and gorgeous. For as long as we can all remember, she’s had this very fine bloke clinging onto her like her chocolate skin body. I think Rita loves him too but she would often confess in her times of loose lips that she only wanted to ensure he wasn’t so crazy about getting laid. I mean, which guy isn’t crazy about getting laid? Well, rumor has it that Rita is still a virgin and that she and the young bloke has never had any reason to sleep together on the same bed, naked and at the same time.

Uju, well Uju is just something else. The most pretty relative of mine and if she wasn’t my elder sister, I prolly would have put her on my hit list. Anyway, as pretty as Uju is, she is single and not because she is some ogbanje or whatever, damn, even ogbanje should have a spiritual boyfriend or something like that, however, Uju is on the search for a perfect man and she has been so long at it that we have started to wonder if she knew exactly who or what a perfect man was or if she actually remembers what she was looking for. It’s her own issue by the way.

I have a friend. Now pay attention to these people around me. They are the pillars of my life. Never forget about them if you are going to enjoy what I have for you here.
Like I said, I have a friend. James is his name and just like me, we are somewhat of two educated layabout wannabes. Only that our mother’s daily prayers will never let that be. Well, James is a cool guy, a player too and my best friend for as long as I can remember. He has a sister that I just got to know of and we have already fallen for each other. I believe she is the cement that is going to bring about the perfect bond between I and my friend or the other way round, maybe the caterpillar that is going to tear everything apart. Well, whichever way it plays, I guess we will all find out in the end.

I am Chinecherem and I am everything you should never be. It’s fun being me by the way, I assure you but you still shouldn’t be me.

I have dated a girl I thought I could only stare at from a distance, bleeped the one I was supposed to call sister and had twins when I should be having good grades at school. Like Peter Parker would say. This story unlike any other story you’ve heard is not for the faints of heart.
I am Chinecherem again and you are welcome to the Diary of a Broke Playboy 2.0.

10 Likes

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Wane2(m): 7:23pm On Oct 24
Chipappi is back wow, expecting great updates from you. Welcome back
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 7:27pm On Oct 24
Wane2:
Chipappi is back wow, expecting great updates from you. Welcome back

Thanks bro
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Joshblaqq(m): 7:47pm On Oct 24
Welcome back

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Phlimsyjay(m): 7:51pm On Oct 24
We dey

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by chijioke17(m): 8:06pm On Oct 24
I just dey smile as I check followed topics see this one

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 8:07pm On Oct 24
chijioke17:
I just dey smile as I check followed topics see this one

I been wan call una but I no know where to start. Welcome here bro

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by xaviercasmir(m): 8:20pm On Oct 24
Welcome back.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 10:33pm On Oct 24
xaviercasmir:
Welcome back.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks bro
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 11:20pm On Oct 24
TWO

I love my family, not the first one, the second family is what I mean. The pretty baby mama and the gorgeous twins. They are my backbone. The only ones I always go back to when the other girls leave me out in the cold. That’s harsh, I know but I am only 23 and even though a lot of you believe I am an adult, I merely believe that my age clock is on a mad rush. Damn I should still be 16 or so. Anyways, we are here and I don’t believe playboys have a playboy age like footballers have football age, and by the way, the older the merrier.

The sun is usually hot by this time of the year. It’s October on this side of town, I don’t know what month or year it is on your own part of town but it’s October here and the rush is on already. My babies are growing, at least, they now smile at me and know that I am different from every other guy that they see out there, that I am actually their father and not some other guy interested in taking their mother out on a date.

“So you know where to find their food when they go hungry,” Chinaza had asked me. She was looking like someone out of a day dream in her simple body-hug gown.

I don’t know the color, I can’t remember because I was simply color blind at that moment and trust me, if you had a figure like hers staring you in the face and you don’t go color blind, then you are on some gay shit; take it from me.

“I don’t know where to find their food but I know where to find my own,” I said, licking my lips and sizing her up like she was some girl that I had never seen before. I saw the ton of confusion on her face and I guessed I had to explain better to her. “Your body baby. You are my food.”

“Weed,” she said and took a steady and breathtaking walk out of my presence, her body banging right into my face. Damn I love my family.

I took two glances at my cuties as they lay there on the bed, beautiful as cupid angels and then I nodded. They looked good and didn’t look like they were going to wake up in the next six months.

But babies are so untrustworthy and unpredictable with their pattern of sleep. The only predictable thing about them is that they are definitely going to cry when they wake up and they did just that. No, the baby girl woke first and then she cried and her brother woke up too and my babysitter job started. To tell the truth, I think Chinaza is punishing me for always being away for too long. I don’t have breasts to stick into their mouths each time they cry so how does she expect me to look after them or make them stop to cry?

“Okay, do you want to see boobs?” I asked, throwing them a mischievous grin as they lay there on the bed, doing their thing. “Boobs bigger than your mums own?”
I pulled my top halfway and stuck out my left nipple. Truth be told, I didn’t have much nipple and didn’t have broad chests and they understood that perfectly and so they cried more.

I was going to break down and call their mother to run her ass home until an idea cropped up the moment I picked my phone.

“Pornhub big boobs,” I muttered as my fingers ran over my keyboard. Google was quite helpful and the network too. So easy to stream stuffs online these days.
So there we are. A lady with a massive ton of boobs was on the show and the kids seemed to like her. I don’t know if they liked the fact that they could only watch and not touch or suck, either ways, they stopped crying.
“Cute,” I muttered and laid back in between them. “Boobs are magic.”

I don’t know how long we were at it but I knew the moment we stopped. A giant smack right on my leg woke me straight up. I subconsciously had my hand stuck in my pants and that was the first thing I pulled out.

“Are you showing them porn?” a cute voice half-yelled. It wasn’t Chinaza, thank God but then it was someone worse.

“The Bleep are you doing here Janet?” I shouted.
Janet, yeah beautiful Janet. Remember her from the past?

She is beautiful and my ex girlfriend. Chinaza had once caught us about to get down on each other in my room but that was years ago and Chinaza seemed to have forgiven us both.

“I came to see my friend?” she said, snatching the phone from my hand and dropping down next to me. Expectedly enough, she gave me a kiss straight on the lips and the babies giggled. Glad they don’t just look like me, they are naughty like me as well. Those are my blood for sure.

“Which of your friend?” I asked, a deep frown on my face.

“Chinaza, your baby mama,” she said with a sort of sneer on her face. “And why are you showing these beautiful things porn?”

“They were looking for breast and I am showing them one but thank God you are here. We can show them yours,” I said, winking at her.

“You want to see my breast?” she asked, looking me intently in the eye.

“No I don’t. They want to see,” I said, pointing at the babies.

I could see the disappointment crawl out of her face.

“Call their mother,” she said and stood straight to her feet.

“Are you going?” I asked, looking up at her. I obviously didn’t want her to. At least, I needed her company and she could have this really calming effect on these two babies.

“Maybe,” she said, pulling her jean trousers up in every way that makes me want to take her home and let it go down like old times.

“I thought you were going to wait for Naza? Your beloved friend?”

She spun around to watch me with the most seductive smile that I had ever seen on her face. Janet is okay. It’s not so hard to see that Chinaza is jealous of her. Not that she got anything on my queen but again, Janet is not one to rule off completely. A shot from her can kill any relationship and make a man go crazy. I know because I have had a good taste of her shot and if Chinaza wasn’t who she was, Janet would have been in her place by now.

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked, obviously reading my mind. It was very easy to tell what was there, not with the way I kept sizing her up with my eyes.

“Yes. Stay,” I muttered and swallowed hard. “If you go now, these babies will start crying.”

“And you too,” she said.

“What?”

“You too will start crying.”

“Says who?”

She pulled closer and pulled me right up to my feet. Our bodies came closer and I could think of nothing else than

Chinaza walking in on us. I knew I had to put a hold to the madness that was about to get a grip on us but somehow, just somehow, I kinda loved what was coming for me and I let it drag.

We kissed, deeply and sensationally too. My hands ran the length of her body as I just could not get enough of her in that instance.

“The bed,” I stuttered in between a mouthful of kisses.

“The babies?”

She stopped and pulled away a bit, looking me straight in the eye.

“You want to have me here?” she asked.

“What are we doing then?” I asked, calling her attention to the bulge in my pants.

“Not here Neche,” she insisted, pulling away totally from me and walking her way to the bed. She sat down on it and lifted the baby boy, cuddling him to her body.

“Where?” I asked, my blood boiling and temper rising from being left out in the cold.

“You know where I live,” she said casually. She had me and she knew that I was never going to let go once I’ve had a taste of the dessert. What she gave me was it and she knew that I’d be coming for the full course meal.

“You are wicked,” I said and just when I was going to push further, Naza walked in, sweating from the effect of the hot sun.

I spent the better part of the day listening to silly girls gist and switching from cuddling my boy to sleep to clowning my girl to sleep.

It’s a hot October and still I love my family, and many other girls too.

3 Likes

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Ayiibobo(m): 1:22am On Oct 25
Chippapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,...welcome back bro
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 7:28am On Oct 25
Ayiibobo:
Chippapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,...welcome back bro

Thanks bro grin

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 7:29am On Oct 25
Three

Chinaza had turned to me with the meanest expression on her face. Even the spark of beauty on her eyes were gone and her face was turning redder with every second that ticked on the clock right above our heads. I had my eyes right in hers and I saw fire within them, getting ready to burn me out.

"What did you say?" she asked, never for a second taking her eyes off mine. I smiled a corky smile and maintained the eye contact. I was ready for her at that moment, or so I thought.

"How is shape?" I asked again. It was the third time. I know you must be thinking, what the heck is wrong with me. The audacity to bring up the Shapy topic after everything, after the last episode and after what it almost did to us. But trust me, I had reasons and I don't know about you but then, I think my reasons are justifiable enough for me to at least, taunt Chinaza with that unsavory episode.

Now, just so you know. Shape was Chinaza's sort of best friend. You know the kind of girl that your girlfriend would make a friend just to be sure she doesn't Bleep you, yea, that girl was Shape. Her name was Chinaza too but for all convinience and for all that is right and wrong with her, I chose to name her Shape. Why? Because that is what she is.. Shape, a massive ton of it. Now go figure.

Shape had shaped up to turn into a tight friend with Chinaza but all that ended soon enough, at least, not until she caught us two, naked and sweating it out.
The friends code had been broken and Shape had betrayed her best friend, my baby mama here, well for me, Chinaza was somewhat used to the notion that she had to unwillingly share me with any girl around but this was off the hook for her. She even fainted that day and would go on to have our baby few hours later. Well, that's a major blast from the past and it all had seemed forgotten until I brought it up again today.

Chinaza still had that how-dare-you look on me and I know you too must think the same thing, how-dare-I, but yes, I dared because I had to. I had my reasons and Chinaza is loosing her mind these days.

"How is Shape?" the third one barely got out of my mouth before a slap stopped me. It was quick and sharp and stung me straight on the cheek and on my pride. Chinaza slapped me, worst still, in front of my kids. That is one good way of undermining my authority as the head of my little family and I wasn't going to take that.

I was going to slap back and I meant it literally but then, I saw early enough, the tears cloud up on her beautiful face. That was one hell of a stuff that I couldn't take and I had to slow down on my thoughts of revenge.

Now, how dare I Shape her up that beautiful afternoon? Here's is how I dared.

The day had started off just as normal. The cold biting away on every part of me and I almost thinking I would never crawl out of my sweater until without a warning stroke, the sun came out on its shinning spree, burning anything within its reach. It was another day to babysit. Chinaza had a wedding to attend, of course it was a Saturday and it was all weddings all over the place. Now, I knew, because Chinaza told me, that it was some guy taking her to the wedding and just like every random guy out there, he prolly had some hidden interests in keeping Chinaza for himself and my hot girlfriend was no learner. She knew that too and nevertheless, she had to toss it in my face that while I will be back home babysitting, not that I hate taking care of my kids anyway, she will be out there with some guy, getting comfy and looking like couples. Of course I hated that idea and I told it to her. I don't mince words these days.

"So I will be here looking after them while you will be out there enjoying with some guy. You think I don't have other girls to go out with?" I had asked. I was pained, understandably too but all she needed was to make me feel better. A smile or a kiss or a flash of her boobs in my face, even a quickie would have done the magic but no, she just had to be corky.

"Who is forcing you?" she had started, not even turning to look me in the face. I was that very insignificant I guess. "You can go ahead and do whatever you want. Na today?"

She had turned to face me from her dressing mirror after the statement of fact. Alright, I'm still significant I guess.

"Must you go to that wedding?" I asked as mildly as I could. I needed her to understand that I was pained that she had to go out with another guy while I sit at home with the babies on a Saturday. Whatever happened to some little family get together? But no, once Chinaza decides to get cheeky, she's cheeky all through.

"Yes. At least, let someone take me out for a change instead of waiting for a broke boyfriend that thinks he has every girl in her pocket," she turned to me again. "You don't have me in your pocket okay, you may think so but you don't. I am free to do whatever I want."

I was surprised as you are right now. I mean, where the Bleep was that coming from? I know a lot about the theory of built-up emotions and aggressions but never before had it been unleashed on me, talk more of coming from Chinaza.

"And what is the meaning of that?" I asked. She had to get up from where she sat to answer that. She had to sit next to me to answer that and she had to lock her eyes with mine to answer that.

"Let a real man do your job for you since you can't do it," she said. My jaw dropped wide, the room became hotter just then and she smiled an I-won-you smile.

"You think being a man is having one million girlfriends everywhere you go but no even bitches keep a million fake girlfriends."
I thought the same thing too. Chinaza didn't just call me a bitch, did she?

Well, I had something to say to her too. Something I had been saving for the whole time because neither of us wanted to hear it. None of us wanted to remember and none of us was going to address it and now she has pushed me.

"How is Shape?"

Judge me all you want or support me either ways, you have to admit that I didn't deserve that level of tongue lashing and savagery from anyone, worst of all, someone that has sworn to love me all her life.

The room is hot, my cheek is burning, Chinaza is crying and my kids just started theirs. Did I say I was too young to understand how this father/family thing works? Well, I said it now.

4 Likes

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by YINKS89(m): 7:57am On Oct 25
Hmmmm.... This is getting tensed

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Ayiibobo(m): 11:43am On Oct 25
See aa my jaw drop for this matter,...

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by spiceybae(f): 12:23am On Oct 26
lovely one OP
bt hw can some guys b dz insatiable smh

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by collinometricx: 5:38pm On Oct 26
Thank God

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by sparta191(m): 10:46pm On Oct 26
bros I troway salute. all the way with you.

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by masinemiress(m): 6:25pm On Oct 27
Welcome back OP

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by lordmayor4(m): 6:43pm On Oct 27
Yippee...
My namesake is back.
Jumped in already...


But why you no dey reply your telegram nah...
Even when I dey Enugu ukwu... Tried to contact you but no reply.

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by collinometricx: 6:56pm On Oct 30
NavalPrince

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Jayslyder: 7:35pm On Oct 30
Guy afa u na..i don dey follow u since 2017 and u no be Jesus.. This is the first time I'm gonna comment tho... So do the needful and drop that update

1 Like

Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 8:59pm On Oct 30
Ayiibobo:
See aa my jaw drop for this matter,...

Even me grin
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 8:59pm On Oct 30
collinometricx:
Thank God

grin
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 8:59pm On Oct 30
sparta191:
bros I troway salute.
all the way with you.

Thanks bro. I salute back
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 9:00pm On Oct 30
masinemiress:
Welcome back OP

Thanks bro
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 9:01pm On Oct 30
lordmayor4:
Yippee...
My namesake is back.
Jumped in already...


But why you no dey reply your telegram nah...
Even when I dey Enugu ukwu... Tried to contact you but no reply.

Welcome bro.

Omo, that telegram dy boring for now o. Na whatsapp everybody dy.

When next you go show Enugwu Ukwu
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 9:01pm On Oct 30
Jayslyder:
Guy afa u na..i don dey follow u since 2017 and u no be Jesus.. This is the first time I'm gonna comment tho... So do the needful and drop that update

Lol. Calm down bro. Thanks for following
Re: Diary Of A Broke Playboy 2.0 by Chipappii(m): 9:03pm On Oct 30
Four

"I don't ever want to see you anywhere near my home or my children. And if you think I need you to take care of the kids then you are so out of your mind. Chinecherem go to hell and don't ever come back. Stupid bastard."

If I didn't know much, I would have concluded that Naza hated me that much but trust me, this was her own clear cut way of saying that she needed me to come over and beg for something that I didn't do wrong. If ever she thought that I was ever going to walk up to her and go on my knees, apologizing that she insulted me, called me names, well not so directly but at least it was suggestive, and slapped me silly, then she is the one that was out of her mind. I flipped my phone away and shut my eyes for a second mid morning sleep. Chinaza can go Bleep herself or some of those guys that had always been on her case for all I care. I was angry and at that point in time, she was a bitch to me, one not deserving my attention.

"But that girl love you shaa," Bros Jide had thrown in later in the evening. The heat was on high key and we were half naked, sitting on a bench just outside our home. The street was half empty, not that it was ever busy but that moment was worse. The half traffic that moved around was merely composed of wayward chickens and the wind.

"I know," I muttered, my eyes fixated on my phone. Facebook was my solace at that point and I only needed to get me a new girl, someone prolly better looking that Chinaza. I miss her, I'm not going to deny it but then, I thought if I could get someone that was just like her or better, the pain would just sizzle away.

"You know you can never get another girl like her?" he said.

"Says who?" I asked, turning to him.

"She told me," he said, brushing some invisible insects away from his body.

Apperantly, Naza has been going around, lodging her complaints with just about anybody close to me as she can reach out to. She was hurt but according to Bros Jide, she would always end the conversation with;

"I don't ever want to see him around my children anymore."

For me, I could care less, okay, I admit I cared a lot but Chinaza had thrown burning shots at me and it's not a thing I was going to forget in a very long time so yeah, I could care less.

"She is beautiful," Bros Jide continued. "Pass her over when you are done with her. We are going to make very beautiful babies, me and her."

He was smiling cheek to cheek. He thought it was funny but it's not in any way near that expression. As far as I was concerned, Chinaza was mine. We are the perfect match and this was just one of those phases where we break apart and get back together, even stronger. But for now, I'll have to take a look around for another chic while we were at it. I had almost forgotten what the thrills of landing myself a new girl felt like, the thrill of a brand new love.

"I need a new girl shaa," I muttered just loud enough for Bros Jide to hear. "A sharp girl, like that one that came to see you the other day."

He turned to me, tons of confusion on his face and the wrinkles forging deeper as he tried to remember the girl.

"Which one?" he asked.

"The one you said popsy was looking at?"

"Your father always looks at any girl that comes to see me naa," he said.

"The only one that you complained about? She's not so tall, let's say brief. She's fair and a massive ton of ass and titties? Remember now?"

"Oh, Amaka?" he exclaimed and fell back on the wall.

"Yes, her," I replied.

"Oya go and look for someone like her naa," he said.
"Abi you want me to give her to you?" he asked with creased brows.

"Probably?"

"No. That engine is too big for you," he said and stood to his feet. "She will grind you to pieces."

"How kwa?" I asked, standing after him.

"Emotionally, physically, financially and every other thing. As in take a look at me," he gestured to me to size him up head to toe. "I have only known that girl for just two months and see my life now. I don't even have money or the strength to go to a chemist and buy condom."

I laughed. That was funny and as we walked into the house I took a good look at Bros Jide.

"But I see no difference," I said.

"Don't I look shorter than before?" he asked.

"Nope, you look alright. You look even better in short."

"Well, I think she is still dealing with me spiritually," he concluded.

"I want to get that kind of dealing," I laughed.

"Boy," he said and turned to me. "Focus on Chinaza. That girl loves you and if you lose her I swear you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life."

I watched him turn away from me and into the house. Now I was really scared.

***

I ran blindly, not minding that her home was just a piss throw away from mine. I still ran, I needed to see Naza. I didn't want to lose her and Bros Jide had scared me so heavily that all I could do was think about the consequences of losing my queen and my babies. I wasn't ready for that emotional wreckage and so I ran and when it seemed like I was running out of breath, I found myself right before their door. I knocked and waited. A hefty male voice laughed and pulled the door open.

I hadn't seen the face before or if I did, it was a sketchy remembrance that I had about it. It was a very fine face covered in fluffy beards atop a great body stuffed into a neatly starched senator wear. I took in all the details because I had dreams of having that ace dress sense when I grow up, like really really grow up.

So there we were. He commanded class and I had unintentionally thrown a "Good afternoon SIR" right at him. He gave me the look you would give a little boy asking for favors and smiled.

"How are you?"

"Fine," I muttered.

I was going to ask about Chinaza until she showed up right next to the guy, a big smile on her face which soon turned to a deep frown when she saw me.

"Yes?" she asked, falling next to the guy, her pretty eyes darting around but still very much focused on me. "What do you want?"

And then I remembered. The big guy was the same guy that couldn't wait to get his hand on my baby each time I so much as turned my back. How could a man forget his biggest contender? I could smack myself for falling in love with the stupid nigger and his stupid dress sense. Yes it was stupid. Call me sentimental or jealous, I could give a Bleep.

Now if he was begging for the same pussy that I had played around with and tossed to the corner, then he is no different for me. As far as I was concerned, we were on the same level, more so, I believed I am even better than he was.

"What do you mean?" I started, my face growing into a big scowl. "I'm here for my kids."

I was visibly angry and all I did was brush past them into the house. Chinaza didn't play her mad self. Maybe she was trying to be the good girl for her sissy man.

A flight of stairs and there I was in the room. My kids looking back at me, smiles on their faces. Cute, they know who their father is. I smiled back and walked to them on the bed. They had grown quite big since the last time we met, which mind you, hasn't been long ago.

"You are all that I have now," I said as I cuddled them to myself. They were real cozy and as always, I appreciated they were mine. "Your mother is out there cheating on me and you two are going to be my only comfort."

They giggled and I felt a hot tear warm up my eye. I wasn't crying from the Joy of hearing my babies giggle at me. No, not that. At that point in time, I could only imagine the many things that the other guy could do for her that I couldn't even attempt, like give her money to take care of her kids, my own kids.

I was bleeped in every way possible, and it's not because I couldn't afford enough to spoil my babies or because another man just might be doing that for me, no, not that. I really love my girl and I couldn't stand another man snatching her from right under my nose. I love her crazy and that's that.

"What are you doing here?" Naza thundered, walking towards me. "I told you never to come to my home?"

"Why? So you can sneak him in and out without me seeing?" I dropped the twins back on the bed and stood to my feet, my eyes penetrating hers. "I thought I was the only one who was cheating in this relationship?" I asked.

"What relationship?" she asked. She was getting too close. I was angry and I could slap her silly, funny enough my hands were stiff, my lip was the only thing that moved freely and all they ever wanted to do was kiss her. I hadn't exactly taken a good look at Naza in a very long while. Now I did and I couldn't help but wonder how I could turn my back on this for a long while. She was magnificent, the type of girl you look at and know you can never ever offer anything that could be enough. She was a queen and all that sauce kept me mute for ages as I stood before her.

"This relationship," I muttered and steadied my voice. "Our relationship."

"The one that ended a long time ago?" she asked with that carefree atmosphere all over her. She was cold, really cold.

"We have attachments," I said, smiling and nodding towards the kids. How do you intend to cut them off?"

"By cutting you off," she stamped.

"You must be stupid," I said. "You really think that guy is going to be around you when you already have kids for me? Do you know what people will say to him when they see you both together?"

I know that was me being petty but if this girl was going to shred my heart, I might as well tear a bit of hers.

"Guess what? He loves me that way. More than you ever loved me even though I stood by your stupid and broke side with these kids to drag me down each time. He loves me more than you do, hear that!" she was screaming. I thought I saw a glitter of tear at the edge of her eyes.

"Really? You think anyone could love you as much as I did love you? You really believe that?" I asked. She had no immediate answer. "I could have denied you and the baby. I could have forced you to get rid of them and I could have slapped you now for making me this angry but no I won't, you know why? Because I love you above all else. Think about that."

I believed I had made an amazing speech and it was time to take my leave. I actually left her standing there. I may have blown my chances of getting back with the love of my life and getting things right but how could I know? I only remembered how I dragged into my room, crashed on my bed and cried myself to sleep. Damn Chinaza was fine.

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