Rapmoney:
Throwback Thursday: Your Most Embarrassing Moment On Campus

At one time or the other, we all had one embarrassing moment on campus that one would remember and just laugh...especially, after many years have gone by.

Mine:

In my 2nd year in school, I was chilling at Nwanyi Nempi pepper soup joint after a long boring lecture from a lecturer who took sadism as a hobby. I had a cold HARP in my front (mortuary standard). I say make I take am dey hold conscience because the stress too much for department. Not long, I saw this tall pretty light-skin girl passing. I was instantly attracted to her but I didn't follow her. I grew up with the mentality of not stopping a girl on the road; especially, when you are not coming from an opposite direction. I quickly did a research on her by asking someone at the joint as if I was working as an investigative journalist for Channels TV!!! I was able to get her name, level and department and the info that she's an 'aje-butter' from a known family in Onitsha. From that minute, I started plotting my 'graph'.

The next day, I planned I would approach her. After my first lecture, I went straight to her department (Computer Science) to accomplish my mission. Na so I spread like virus full everywhere...well polished shoes, starched and well pressed shirt, new haircut...come dey form James Bond. After hanging around for some time without seeing her, I decided it was an unsuccessful trip.

That same day, while discussing with friends at photo stands (where school photographers stayed), I saw her approaching. I pinched myself secretly and told myself that it is 'Now or Never'. Based on say I be Warri boy, I nor fit carry last. Right there, as crowded as the place was, I approached her and that was the killing mistake I made. This was what happened:

Me: Hi, Onyinyechi, how are you doing?

Babe: How did you know my name?

Me: They say when you're interested in someone, you would also be interested in things that pertain to them.

Babe: Really? You've not answered my question and moreover, I don't know you.

Me: OK, I got to know your name from a friend in your department. I'm interested in you...

Babe: (Speaking loudly and angrily to the hearing of every student present) You should have something better doing! Pls don't ever stop me again! Now take some steps back and behave as if this conversation never took place!!!

Ogbeni, na so I pose like vulture wey rain beat...right there wey I stand, malaria, typhoid and diarrhoea hold me at once. I come stand like image wey deh carve for shrine One side of my belle come dey do me like say I wan weewee, the other side come dey do me like say I wan poopoo. To look back na problem. Crowd of guys and babes dey observe me like cinema. Even my guys sef dey help me dey shame! I was receiving consoling pats on the back as if say my palee kpai! Dem say when house fall, goat go climb the roof. Na the courage say at least Warri boy try to try I take waka pass school gate that day. I nor gree show face for photo stands through out that semester.

It's been 18 years now but each time I remember this event, I just laugh it off as my most embarrassing moment on campus.

Yoouthu:
Well as an upcoming artiste I registered to perform at my University carnival. I was a very shy introvert so I decided to take some substances so as to gain confidence to perform in front of the crowd. Voila my time came and I was called on stage. What really happened I still can't remember all I know was that I started seeing stones, corn Hobbs(shuku agbado), bottle being thrown at me. The M.C just came to put his arm around me and walked me off the stage politely. How I didn't commit suicide that day I don't know. The most painful part was a girl that I was about to knack that was there. The girl said she saw someone that looks like me on stage. Me wey I be ode instead of me to deny I said yes na so she block me ooo. My only chance of getting laid at the University. 3 years after University at 25 am still a virgin na wa oo.