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Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? - Family - Nairaland

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Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Kelvin30286063(m): 10:49pm On Oct 26, 2019
My wife and I got married almost a year ago. Last November. Before that we dated for about 6 years before we got married and we were always very happy. We do everything together and everything was just perfect.
Now after our marriage, the first 5 months was blissful until she started expecting pregnancy. At first she was not worried, neither was I.

I have actually never been worried cuz I know it's definitely early and we have all the time in the world (she's only 25)
Now she's going into a state of depression. Every month she will be so expectant that she will start looking out for all pregnancy symptoms as if her life depends on it. Then once she sees her menstrual cycle, she comes very depressed and sad.
I hate to see her sad. Infact it gives me so much pain when I see her sitting alone looking so moody and unhappy and I have tried so many times to speak to her, convince her that she needs to be patient. Though she always lighten up whenever I do but that happiness is only short lived cuz as soon as she see her MP again, the sad face comes bad.

On the pregnancy front, we've done some tests are different hospitals and they told us that we are both medically okay. The doctors advice we take things slow and not worry about it but she's not listening to any of that.
The most annoying part is nobody is pressuring her. My parents are very understanding people and they have not even mentioned it at all since we got married. So what the heck is wrong with her!
I understand that over the years, she must have noticed my obsession with babies and she's really eager to make me happy but at this point, I'm ready to give that up as long as she is happy.

She just saw her menstrual cycle today, she's been moody all day and that mood is gradually killing me.
I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back. At least she will be happy if she's not expecting any positive result at the end of the month.

What do you guys think I can do to make her take her mind off this pregnancy ish?

14 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by blaise26abj(m): 11:07pm On Oct 26, 2019
Atimes women put themselves under unnecessary pressure.pressure to have a man, pressure for the man to propose , Pressure to get married , Pressure to have the first child, pressure to have a second child, pressure to have a male child. Even pressure cookers don’t work that much.

You have to let her be. Reassure her if need be but don’t let it stress you. The anxiety of conception atimes adds to it. As a man, it is not all things that frets your wife you allow to get to you. Atimes ignore and just be happy. She might realize that you are not bothered and follow suit.

PS. Don’t stop the gbenshing. It is your lawful right.

35 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by STARGREEN(m): 11:11pm On Oct 26, 2019
Time resolves most issues.

She's a woman and naturally it's normal for her to feel so.

But however sad she feels, only God gives child believe me. It's not by been medically satisfied ok, God has to ok it at the right time.

Keep on doing your part, time for celebration is certain.

11 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by idesylvester(m): 11:15pm On Oct 26, 2019
God's time is the best bro

For better or worst... na so una agree

2 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Olalan(m): 11:35pm On Oct 26, 2019
OP you just might have unconsciously been pressuring your wife with your reactions at the sight of babies.............you might need to be more conscious about how you talk about babies in her presence.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Donald3d(m): 11:37pm On Oct 26, 2019
I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back
This would not solve anything, it would only make things worse.

-Keep trying, have sex as many times as possible, if possible everyday, I know it sounds crazy, but its possible, to boost your chances.
-You both should learn how to calculate her ovulation period and use it to your advantage.
-Understand her menstrual cycle and prepare something fun to make her distracted whenever her period is around the corner.
-Pray, talk to God, he answers prayers
-Eat a balanced diet, rest well, both of you.
-Limit stress, especially her, sometimes women can have miscarriages without even knowing(no negative prophecy intended, just being factual)
-Make sure your immune system is always solid, integrate garlic and ginger into your food.
-You both should also take fruits regularly.

-Keep talking to her, make her understand that she is your cake, a baby is just the icing, and the cake is delicious even without the icing.Make her understand that you value her more than she imagines. I know she already knows that, but you just have to keep reminding her. A baby or even babies would come.

-Also understand that during menstrual periods, women can be excessively emotional than normal, this has to do with hormonal fluctuations, so its normal for her to "over-react" , or to become sad, just keep cheering her up.

You can get her a gift, or just take her out anytime her period comes, it doesn't have to be expensive, just a thoughtful gesture to take her mind off the worry of conception.

Take it a step at a time, please don't get upset with her. Make her understand its ok to be worried about a situation, but it should not tarry for too long, channel your worries into prayers and works(sex, balanced diet, enjoying yourselves, hanging out with each other, exploring each others bodies).

Enjoy your time with each other and make sure there is always a fun activity . When your bundle of joy start coming you won't have all this time and space again ooo grin grin

Please understand that she wants to also make you happy and she isn't happy she can't "complete your happiness, keep reassuring her that you are happy with her, and she is your world.Please don't be too hard on her.

Take care of your Queen bro.

25 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by falcon01: 12:16am On Oct 27, 2019
I heard there are kind of sex styles that guarantees pregnancy
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Karleb(m): 2:29am On Oct 27, 2019
blaise26abj:
Atimes women put themselves under unnecessary pressure.pressure to have a man, pressure for the man to propose , Pressure to get married , Pressure to have the first child, pressure to have a second child, pressure to have a male child. Even pressure cookers don’t work that much.

You have to let her be. Reassure her if need be but don’t let it stress you. The anxiety of conception atimes adds to it. As a man, it is not all things that frets your wife you allow to get to you. Atimes ignore and just be happy. She might realize that you are not bothered and follow suit.

PS. Don’t stop the gbenshing. It is your lawful right.


grin grin grin grin grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Sanchez01: 3:30am On Oct 27, 2019
falcon01:
I heard there are kind of sex styles that guarantees pregnancy
Genders/sexes, not pregnancy.

By default, all positions should guarantee pregnancy.

1 Like

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Richy4(m): 4:11am On Oct 27, 2019
Just maybe you haven't used the right word that will make her relax.. or words that got an alternative should what you guys were doing were not paying off...

Let her know that she is married to u and u only that children were just an addition..

Words like I am not ready for the competing affection with the kids yet..

Things like what I feel towards you won't change kids or no kids... Besides our marriage is still young. That if "shove comes to a push " there are lots of kids looking for adoption. .let her know what matters is her and nothing else.

Any of my relatives that's acting like your wife, I always refer her to living in bondage.. There was a beautiful lady that acted the part of "Chinyere".. she acted a lot of movies in the middle '90s. a leading role in Glamour Girls, True Confession etc.. she was beautiful, speaks flawless English.. she was married to an Actor called Emeka Osai in real life.. Rumour has it that she put herself in a vulnerable conditions just like your wife is doing.. Going to all kinds of place like white garment churches, herbal places, etc
She died in the process. Now Emeka is married with kids. Enjoying life.. I don't think people still remembers her... I can't forget about her because I was a fan.. Her name was Jennifer OLisa. If u type pretty on Google, her picture might appear because she was really good looking.. sad
So I use her as a reference point for any lady acting silly..

7 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Cwhyte(m): 7:00am On Oct 27, 2019
does she ovulates?
if you are not sure, go to a pharmacy and ask for drugs that enhances ovulation. Thank me later
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by bukatyne(f): 7:57am On Oct 27, 2019
Kelvin30286063:
My wife and I got married almost a year ago. Last November. Before that we dated for about 6 years before we got married and we were always very happy. We do everything together and everything was just perfect.
Now after our marriage, the first 5 months was blissful until she started expecting pregnancy. At first she was not worried, neither was I.

I have actually never been worried cuz I know it's definitely early and we have all the time in the world (she's only 25)
Now she's going into a state of depression. Every month she will be so expectant that she will start looking out for all pregnancy symptoms as if her life depends on it. Then once she sees her menstrual cycle, she comes very depressed and sad.
I hate to see her sad. Infact it gives me so much pain when I see her sitting alone looking so moody and unhappy and I have tried so many times to speak to her, convince her that she needs to be patient. Though she always lighten up whenever I do but that happiness is only short lived cuz as soon as she see her MP again, the sad face comes bad.

On the pregnancy front, we've done some tests are different hospitals and they told us that we are both medically okay. The doctors advice we take things slow and not worry about it but she's not listening to any of that.
The most annoying part is nobody is pressuring her. My parents are very understanding people and they have not even mentioned it at all since we got married. So what the heck is wrong with her!
I understand that over the years, she must have noticed my obsession with babies and she's really eager to make me happy but at this point, I'm ready to give that up as long as she is happy.

She just saw her menstrual cycle today, she's been moody all day and that mood is gradually killing me.
I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back. At least she will be happy if she's not expecting any positive result at the end of the month.

What do you guys think I can do to make her take her mind off this pregnancy ish?

Out of curiosity, I went to your profile and I stumbled on a thread about your wife, dog and pregnancy.

While it seems there is nobody pressuring your wife overtly, I believe there are covert pressures else why would your mother take her to a pastor who is seeing vision about dog blocking pregnancy?

You should understand your wife's dilemma:

She wants to please your mother by discarding the dog. The presence of that dog in your house tells your mother that your wife is not ready to get pregnant and/or she doesn't know what it takes to get what she wants from you.

I also read you have done several tests and you both are fine. You think it is a reassurance, it isn't. It is the reason why your wife would belive that the goat ten streets away is responsible for the delay.

If the doctors saw something, it makes more sense. You have hope that when you address that circumstance, you will have kids.

When the doctors say there is nothing wrong and pregnancy is not forthcoming despite constant sex, then it calls for a lot of concern because it becomes a case of what is wrong?

When you see people who do not want to get pregnant easily do having sex the same way you are, then you wonder why you.

The first thing is to get rid of the dog: some posters suggested dropping her at the vet for a while or keeping her with a trusted family member.

Next, go to a fertility clinic for hormonal tests especially PCOS and endo (causing heavy flow and painful periods) . Your both organs might be fine however her hormones might need to be regulated or the shape of her uterus might be inverted naturally or something else that would require your guys using a little assistance.

Also, keep reassuring your wife that she needs to relax else getting pregnant becomes more difficult.

I like the cake and icing analogy, keep using it, hopefully she gets it.

Sometimes you have plans in your head and delayed conception throws it away.

It is well.

7 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Kelvin30286063(m): 8:05am On Oct 27, 2019
bukatyne:


Out of curiosity, I went to your profile and I stumbled on a thread about your wife, dog and pregnancy.

While it seems there is nobody pressuring your wife overtly, I believe there are covert pressures else why would your mother take her to a pastor who is seeing vision about dog blocking pregnancy?

You should understand your wife's dilemma:

She wants to please your mother by discarding the dog. The presence of that dog in your house tells your mother that your wife is not ready to get pregnant and/or she doesn't know what it takes to get what she wants from you.

I also read you have done several tests and you both are fine. You think it is a reassurance, it isn't. It is the reason why your wife would belive that the goat ten streets away is responsible for the delay.

If the doctors saw something, it makes more sense. You have hope that when you address that circumstance, you will have kids.

When the doctors say there is nothing wrong and pregnancy is not forthcoming despite constant sex, then it calls for a lot of concern because it becomes a case of what is wrong?

When you see people who do not want to get pregnant easily do having sex the same way you are, then you wonder why you.

The first thing is to get rid of the dog: some posters suggested dropping her at the vet for a while or keeping her with a trusted family member.

Next, go to a fertility clinic for hormonal tests especially PCOS and endo (causing heavy flow and painful periods) . Your both organs might be fine however her hormones might need to be regulated or the shape of her uterus might be inverted naturally or something else that would require your guys using a little assistance.

Also, keep reassuring your wife that she needs to relax else getting pregnant becomes more difficult.

I like the cake and icing analogy, keep using it, hopefully she gets it.

Sometimes you have plans in your head and delayed conception throws it away.

It is well.
Thank you. The dog issue has been resolved. Though the dog is still with us but she doesn't stay indoor anymore. Now has a cage outside in the compound even though she's an indoor pet dog.

1 Like

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Chubhie: 8:13am On Oct 27, 2019
Since you guys are medically good to go, The next step is to strategically shoot for goals.

You can't be dribbling from your own halfway line and expect to arrive at full strengths one on one with the goalkeeper.

Lurk around the edge of the box or inside the box and wait for that window of ovulation. Get her relaxed and make her cum on repeat while at it. You guys stand a higher chance of putting the ball at the back of the net this way.

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by PrimadonnaO(f): 11:24am On Oct 27, 2019
I’m not even married and I’m looking for a baby upandan.


Should I get married and I don’t get pregnant in a month or two, it will take the grace of God to be calm sad. I can almost relate with how your wife feels. But the only thing that can be done is for her to be conscious of the fact that worrying really solves nothing.

And as for you, please cease all baby innuendos if you often make them. As much as you can, try to reassure her that you don’t care if y’all have a baby or not... that you didn’t marry her just for children. Then live freely.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by pweetyoge(f): 11:36am On Oct 27, 2019
It is normal..when I got married, I was not pregnant the first two months, I was downcasted..even hubby was just laughing at me.I wanted to make him happy, by getting pregnant and all that..the truth is that we were doing it wrongly since it was my own first time. I then decided to read the book I was given during my marriage class.it is on intimacy, and all that sha...their are days where even if you do anything, you won't be pregnant.. So I will take my time to read and understand..u can google it for her, and let her pick a paper now that she is seeing her period, after the four red days and find her ovulation, after you do the do sha lol, let her stay down and if possible throw her legs in the air to take it all in...ermm ermmm see my screenshots sha..

5 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by ogawisdom(m): 11:58am On Oct 27, 2019
Both of u should be concerned about this and visit a hospital to be sure everything is fine.

How can u be fuking a woman of 25 yrs for almost a year and no sign of pregnancy haba angry

Both of u should go on your knees and pray to God for fruit of the womb, barrenness is not your portion in Jesus name
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by bukatyne(f): 12:05pm On Oct 27, 2019
Kelvin30286063:

Thank you. The dog issue has been resolved. Though the dog is still with out but she doesn't stay indoor anymore. Now has a cage outside in the compound even though she's an indoor pet dog.

Ok, that's just step 1.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Nobody: 2:27pm On Oct 27, 2019
I pray God answers you and your wife soon.

2 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Richy4(m): 2:28pm On Oct 27, 2019
ogawisdom:
Both of u should be concerned about this and visit a hospital to be sure everything is fine.

How can u be fuking a woman of 25 yrs for almost a year and no sign of pregnancy haba angry

Both of u should go on your knees and pray to God for fruit of the womb, barrenness is not your portion in Jesus name


smileyMy brother.. this post shows that you have never attended a literature class for once.. I bet you were a science student while in high school..If not you would have known that euphemism is required when addressing a respectable/ responsible married couple. smiley

After throwing your "F" bomb, You gave a wonderful prayer that Pope himself would have even given you a medal if he sees it grin

2 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Dereformer(m): 2:41pm On Oct 27, 2019
Bro, I really understand how your wife feels. Don't blame her, I have been there.

I and my wife have been looking for a third child. We already have a boy and a girl.

We have been married since 2011.

Each month my DW sees her MP, she will become very downcast, she will not be happy with anything. This is after 2 lively kids ooo.

My children usually compound the problem every month by pleading that she give them a tata (children word for babies).

It has not been easy. I am currently in Lagos and they are in the East.

I wonder what would have happened if I don't have any within this 8 year of marriage
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by OlawaleBammie(m): 3:01pm On Oct 27, 2019
Cwhyte:
does she ovulates?
if you are not sure, go to a pharmacy and ask for drugs that enhances ovulation. Thank me later

Guy u fall my hand.

how person go take menstruate if she didnt ovulate ??

without ovulation there shouldnt b menstruation.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Nobody: 3:17pm On Oct 27, 2019
Why won't she be worried when in 10 yrs time, children will start popping out from all corners.

Don't ever trust a man who tell u to chill when they are looking for the fruit of the womb.

And u want to stay away from her shocked

U always show her u love kids and now u want her to chill.

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Stories that touch will soon follow

7 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Rayes3: 4:02pm On Oct 27, 2019
Kelvin30286063 Thats how mine kept telling me everything was ok and no one was pressuring me until he got another lady pregnant.
It is normal for your wife to feel that way, I felt same way each time I see my period. She knows her home is secured when she has a child.
You can never trust a man that says I don't care about kids you have me. I am talking from experience.
The next thing is another woman is pregnant and the family tells you, you know the child is our blood we can not reject the baby.
Your wife needs all the support she can get. Her worries will alter how her body works.
I hope and pray you hold her hands all through and both of you walk together in conquering it.
She will surely get pregnant. But I must say that the period of waiting is not an easy one.
God help you both.

post6:

My wife and I got married almost a year ago. Last November. Before that we dated for about 6 years before we got married and we were always very happy. We do everything together and everything was just perfect.
Now after our marriage, the first 5 months was blissful until she started expecting pregnancy. At first she was not worried, neither was I.

I have actually never been worried cuz I know it's definitely early and we have all the time in the world (she's only 25)
Now she's going into a state of depression. Every month she will be so expectant that she will start looking out for all pregnancy symptoms as if her life depends on it. Then once she sees her menstrual cycle, she comes very depressed and sad.
I hate to see her sad. Infact it gives me so much pain when I see her sitting alone looking so moody and unhappy and I have tried so many times to speak to her, convince her that she needs to be patient. Though she always lighten up whenever I do but that happiness is only short lived cuz as soon as she see her MP again, the sad face comes bad.

On the pregnancy front, we've done some tests are different hospitals and they told us that we are both medically okay. The doctors advice we take things slow and not worry about it but she's not listening to any of that.
The most annoying part is nobody is pressuring her. My parents are very understanding people and they have not even mentioned it at all since we got married. So what the heck is wrong with her!
I understand that over the years, she must have noticed my obsession with babies and she's really eager to make me happy but at this point, I'm ready to give that up as long as she is happy.

She just saw her menstrual cycle today, she's been moody all day and that mood is gradually killing me.
I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back. At least she will be happy if she's not expecting any positive result at the end of the month?

1 Like

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Rayes3: 4:08pm On Oct 27, 2019
sassysure:
Why won't she be worried when in 10 yrs time, children will start popping out from all corners.

Don't ever trust a man who tell u to chill when they are looking for the fruit of the womb.

And u want to stay away from her shocked

U always show her u love kids and now u want her to chill.

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Stories that touch will soon follow


Exactly.
I believed all the sweet talk myself not until a child popped up from another lady.
You can never trust anyone.
I pray God answers her soon. Because I understand exactly what the woman is going through emotionally.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Nobody: 4:30pm On Oct 27, 2019
Rayes3:



Exactly.
I believed all the sweet talk myself not until a child popped up from another lady.
You can never trust anyone.
I pray God answers her soon. Because I understand exactly what the woman is going through emotionally.

U understand exactly.

I pray too.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Anonymous29: 4:44pm On Oct 27, 2019
OlawaleBammie:

Guy u fall my hand.
how person go take menstruate if she didnt ovulate ??
without ovulation there shouldnt b menstruation.
menstruation can occur without ovulation.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by OlawaleBammie(m): 4:51pm On Oct 27, 2019
Anonymous29:


menstruation can occur without ovulation.

Shooo !!!! Pleass i need a lecture on dis, am serious, just to add to my knowledge abt it.
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Anonymous29: 4:53pm On Oct 27, 2019
ttc(trying to conceive) is no man's friend. That thing can drain almost all aspect of your life. Only people that have been there can relate. I pray God answers you soon.

2 Likes

Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by frozen70g(f): 5:07pm On Oct 27, 2019
Kelvin30286063:
My wife and I got married almost a year ago. Last November. Before that we dated for about 6 years before we got married and we were always very happy. We do everything together and everything was just perfect.
Now after our marriage, the first 5 months was blissful until she started expecting pregnancy. At first she was not worried, neither was I.

I have actually never been worried cuz I know it's definitely early and we have all the time in the world (she's only 25)
Now she's going into a state of depression. Every month she will be so expectant that she will start looking out for all pregnancy symptoms as if her life depends on it. Then once she sees her menstrual cycle, she comes very depressed and sad.
I hate to see her sad. Infact it gives me so much pain when I see her sitting alone looking so moody and unhappy and I have tried so many times to speak to her, convince her that she needs to be patient. Though she always lighten up whenever I do but that happiness is only short lived cuz as soon as she see her MP again, the sad face comes bad.

On the pregnancy front, we've done some tests are different hospitals and they told us that we are both medically okay. The doctors advice we take things slow and not worry about it but she's not listening to any of that.
The most annoying part is nobody is pressuring her. My parents are very understanding people and they have not even mentioned it at all since we got married. So what the heck is wrong with her!
I understand that over the years, she must have noticed my obsession with babies and she's really eager to make me happy but at this point, I'm ready to give that up as long as she is happy.

She just saw her menstrual cycle today, she's been moody all day and that mood is gradually killing me.
I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back. At least she will be happy if she's not expecting any positive result at the end of the month.

What do you guys think I can do to make her take her mind off this pregnancy ish?

Every woman desires to be a mother, but it's not something you can get by force by force

The woman body must be at its optimum level for pregnancy to occur

Her state of mind must be OK for pregnancy to occur

Her hormones must be stable for pregnancy to occur

But the way she is taking it, she is already distorting her body program

Her mind and brain are playing tricks on her because she is nursing fear

Just let her know that, she is pushing you out of your way by her behaviour anything her PM comes

I know you have calmed her down so many times, invite her mum to talk to her or she can be tricked home to visit her mum

She is in the best position to ca her down since she is not getting your message

Keep loving her and you guys can be on one day off one day on, it's another way of trying since you are not bent on picking any preferred gender
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Nobody: 11:00am On Oct 28, 2019
falcon01:
I heard there are kind of sex styles that guarantees pregnancy
missionary! It will be easier for the cum to go inside well.
Bro,dont worry your mind,and comfort your wife,your child is on the way! Claim this words..
Re: Please What Can I Do To Take My Wife's Mind Off This Issue? by Anonymous29: 7:51am On Oct 30, 2019
OlawaleBammie:


Shooo !!!! Pleass i need a lecture on dis, am serious, just to add to my knowledge abt it.

the uterus lining will shed without ovulation. it is called an annovulatory cycle.

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