I know this is a weird question to ask but it’s me trying to evaluate a few things about me. Currently I’m going through a rough patch in life(financially) and almost all my friends who I’d say I used to do better than are now doing better than me, I’m happy for them, but I’m a competitive person, not in a bad way but I always like to be better and be the best. Usually when I see these friends post on WhatsApp, I feel bad because I know I deserve those things too at my work rate and then somehow frustration sets in a bit, so what I do is, I delete their numbers from my contact list so I don’t have to see what they’re up to. Do you think that’s wrong like I’m a bad person or something? I’m curious

ZikZikZik:
I know this is a weird question to ask but it’s me trying to evaluate a few things about me. Currently I’m going through a rough patch in life(financially) and almost all my friends who I’d say I used to do better than are now doing better than me, I’m happy for them, but I’m a competitive person, not in a bad way but I always like to be better and be the best. Usually when I see these friends post on WhatsApp, I feel bad because I know I deserve those things too at my work rate and then somehow frustration sets in a bit, so what I do is, I delete their numbers from my contact list so I don’t have to see what they’re up to. Do you think that’s wrong like I’m a bad person or something? I’m curious

You are NOT a bad person at all.
in fact you are so healthy that you have the right to feel pained.


But you may have missed a few details... Hence you always need to be HUMBLE.

IT MAY SEEN EXTREMELY DISCOMFORTING BUT HUMILITY TO GO AND ASK THEM FOR HELP is what you lack.

Also you are not seeing the bitter truth that YOU ARE NOT ALL AT FAULT, your issue may be spiritual, may be that YOUR SUCCESS WILL BE GREATER THAN ALL OF THEM BUT IT WILL ONLY TAKE TIME and you are getting worked up because your PROCESS seems longer.

MAIZE and APPLE are never mates.
ONE takes a shorter time to yield results while the OTHER not only take a much LONGER TIME.. but also needs special CLIMATE before anything can happen.


YOU MAY BE THE APPLE and they may be MAIZE

be of good cheer and go to a church that will not collect money to solve your problems today

You're not a bad person. Many of those your friends who show off their achievements on whatsapp may be in worse financial situations than you.

Lay low and work smarter than you do currently. Please and please, never you envy them else you won't grow more than you are right now.

Life has many lanes, stay on yours and never watch others run in theirs else you'll slow down.

There is something wrong with you. Two things, actually. One being you envy your friends, but the greater thing is your sense of entitlement in thinking you "deserve those things too at your work rate".

Surely, if your "work rate" was sufficient to provide you with "those things you deserve", you'd have them. But you don't have them so there is definitely something wrong with your "work rate", and the something that is wrong is your wrong thinking, which is obvious from your first problem which is you envy your friends. Funny though how you only envy their achievements and not how smarter than you they actually are in achieving what you work hard for but fail to achieve.

You see when they say "unless God build the house, the builders build in vain", they do not exactly mean God will come down from heaven and build the house for you, but that you yourself will build the house through the knowledge and wisdom and understanding that you have worked smartly to acquire. It's like fertiliser see. You may work hard tilling your soil but the smart fertilize their soil too and their harvest is therefore bigger than your's who only worked hard.

So, no, you are not a bad person, though envy and having a sense of entitlement will do you no good. You just think and reason wrong is all.

When you apply some intelligence to your working, things are bound to improve for you. But I'd strongly advise you ditch the envy. Those who watch the horse riding of other's ride their own horse into the ditch you've now found yourself in.

budaatum:
There is something wrong with you. Two things, actually. One being you envy your friends, but the greater thing is your sense of entitlement in thinking you "deserve those things too at your work rate".

Surely, if your "work rate" was sufficient to provide you with "those things you deserve", you'd have them. But you don't have them so there is definitely something wrong with your "work rate", and the something that is wrong is your wrong thinking, which is obvious from your first problem which is you envy your friends. Funny though how you only envy their achievements and not how smarter than you they actually are in achieving what you work hard for but fail to achieve.

You see when they say "unless God build the house, the builders build in vain", they do not exactly mean God will come down from heaven and build the house for you, but that you yourself will build the house through the knowledge and wisdom and understanding that you have worked smartly to acquire. It's like fertiliser see. You may work hard tilling your soil but the smart fertilize their soil too and their harvest is therefore bigger than your's who only worked hard.

So, no, you are not a bad person, though envy and having a sense of entitlement will do you no good. You just think and reason wrong is all.

When you apply some intelligence to your working, things are bound to improve for you. But I'd strongly advise you ditch the envy. Those who watch the horse riding of other's ride their own horse into the ditch you've now found yourself in.

If he was envious he wouldn't be posting this here, don't you think?

Mystic1:

If he was envious he wouldn't be posting this here, don't you think?

Why think when he already posted that he was envious?

ZikZikZik:

Usually when I see these friends post on WhatsApp, I feel bad ....

I delete their numbers from my contact list so I don’t have to see what they’re up to.

Op, As a healthy human striving for success, it's perfectly normal to feel bad when your formula is mot working but your friends are. But do not hate on them, instead see them as a motivation to work even better and make sure things work for you. What you feel is normal so long you don't begin to hate them.

About deleting their contacts, well if they're not adding any value to your life rather than oppress you and make you feel dejected with their posts please delete them. The last thing you need to slip into is depression if you really want to breakthrough. I don't follow people like Mompha, Hush, etc on Instagram... It's not because I hate them or I'm jealous, it's because these guys will not help me positively, I love good things and when I don't have them yet and you're flaunting yours in my face you're helping me into anger and depression.


And please, your problem is not spiritual, don't ever believe that and don't ever let anyone tell you that. If you believe that then believe me you just created a whole new problem you will never get out of anytime soon.

budaatum:

Why think when he already posted that he was envious?

I believe the last thing we should do now is addressing grammar and concentrating on his wrong choice of words, I'm looking at it from an objective point and I understand what he's saying.

Mystic1:


I believe the last thing we should do now is addressing grammar and concentrating on his wrong choice of words, I'm looking at it from an objective point and I understand what he's saying.

You and who is "we", Mystic?

Please don't make me smh at your misunderstanding of his "grammar"!

ZikZikZik:
I know this is a weird question to ask but it’s me trying to evaluate a few things about me. Currently I’m going through a rough patch in life(financially) and almost all my friends who I’d say I used to do better than are now doing better than me, I’m happy for them, but I’m a competitive person, not in a bad way but I always like to be better and be the best. Usually when I see these friends post on WhatsApp, I feel bad because I know I deserve those things too at my work rate and then somehow frustration sets in a bit, so what I do is, I delete their numbers from my contact list so I don’t have to see what they’re up to. Do you think that’s wrong like I’m a bad person or something? I’m curious

I went to the US Atlanta for training, I was giving money for food but knowing the US grows genetic modified food, I bought mostly vegetables and used most of the money to get gift cards so I can could buy alcohol and I posted those on Instagram, just from people looking at me, they assumed i was balling but I didn't have much money in my account. I am sure you're smart enough to figure it out. Ask yourself this question ? Who posts WhatsApp status to celebrate a demise ? There more people working hard to look successful than being actually successful.

its normal bro but you dont have to worry .most of them are probably living fake dont envy

hmmmm, I smell something "" is tacha here

Stop it. It's childish. Poeple must be better than you. Just give urself some break from all social media platforms, say 6 months. You can use alternate accounts to keep up with updates till things turn around. With ur alternate account, just keep/follow very few people. Truth is, social media has a way of making one look inferior when one is struggling to find his/her feet.
Mind u Xmas is coming, it's gonna be crazy on social media.

Feelings of frustration at not getting the things you feel you deserve... things you’ve put in good sweat to get, are perfectly normal. Feeling bad, sad, cheated, when it feels all else but you have the good things is normal, too.

But guard your heart jealously lest it becomes jealousy. And if it’s any consolation, the things that people show off or the impressions you get when they post pictures do not necessarily mean that they are having it all good. Trust me on that one. You may be shocked to find out that you’re better off than some of these people. See, we’ve really got to always be conscious of the fact that people always showcase the things that look good and beautiful, but those specific times they post or talk about stuff, may in truth, be the ONLY times anything interesting or good is happening with them.

And yes, as I said earlier, guard your heart with all diligence, don’t allow anything or anyone pressure you unnecessarily. If deleting their contacts so their affairs aren’t constantly all up in your face, then so be it!

Keep at what you do, pray intently always, your glory days are near.

yo go soon die.. enemy of progress

When you say you're a competitive person, I really hope you're not referring to social media competition. If people like Seun Osewa, Mark Zuckerberg, and others with ZERO or little social media life cannot motivate you and make you competitive, then there's a problem.

And by the way, who are you competing against/with? Your friends? Probably 5 or 10 of them? So what if I tell you that over 50 million Nigerians are doing better than you and your friends? What are you going to do about that? How can you be in competion with just 5 persons in a country of over 190 million and you say you're competitive? Improve your envy game bruv. There's more to be worried about.

One of my rules in life is to compete with myself, never with others. Set your own goals and focus on those. But if you're going to compete w| anyone, let it be someone worth emulating.

Yes o..... U have a serious problem. The problem is called COMMON SENSE. And the solution is called MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

Acidosis:


When you say you're a competitive person, I really hope you're not referring to social media competition. If people like Seun Osewa, Mark Zuckerberg, and others with ZERO or little social media life cannot motivate you and make you competitive, then there's a problem.

And by the way, who are you competing against/with? Your friends? Probably 5 or 10 of them? So what if I tell you that over 50 million Nigerians are doing better than you and your friends? What are you going to do about that? How can you be in competion with just 5 persons in a country of over 190 million and you say you're competitive? Improve your envy game bruv. There's more to be worried about.

The truth up there

Acidosis:


When you say you're a competitive person, I really hope you're not referring to social media competition. If people like Seun Osewa, Mark Zuckerberg, and others with ZERO or little social media life cannot motivate you and make you competitive, then there's a problem.

And by the way, who are you competing against/with? Your friends? Probably 5 or 10 of them? So what if I tell you that over 50 million Nigerians are doing better than you and your friends? What are you going to do about that? How can you be in competion with just 5 persons in a country of over 190 million and you say you're competitive? Improve your envy game bruv. There's more to be worried about.

You don’t get when I say I’m competitive. I’m definitely not trying to be richer than some particular people but than I was yesterday and right now it seems my yesterdays are better than my today

As long as you don't abuse people on Nairaland, like some people do, nothing is wrong with you.

I don't use Facebook anymore... I just like keeping sanity. You did the right thing. Only that you didn't have to delete their number.. Muting their status would have been better...

Don't be fooled also... Some of those people are like you, they have nothing. They are just trying to keep up like you.

ZikZikZik:
I know this is a weird question to ask but it’s me trying to evaluate a few things about me. Currently I’m going through a rough patch in life(financially) and almost all my friends who I’d say I used to do better than are now doing better than me, I’m happy for them, but I’m a competitive person, not in a bad way but I always like to be better and be the best. Usually when I see these friends post on WhatsApp, I feel bad because I know I deserve those things too at my work rate and then somehow frustration sets in a bit, so what I do is, I delete their numbers from my contact list so I don’t have to see what they’re up to. Do you think that’s wrong like I’m a bad person or something? I’m curious

Dont't be swayed by what you see on social media.

It's all fake!

This a serious dangerous trait

Competitive comparison is a depressing approach to quantify how bad you're fairing in life especially for less emotionally intelligent folks



It has ended many careers in the grave, prison and abject mysterious poverty.

If you must pursue anything persistently in life; make it contentment



Not everyone will succeed or fail at the sane scale....and besides, success is subjective.....only that; in this part of the world the only proof of success is money and extravagant showing off


The true success is Inward gratification not by spending and buying all the crabs the society measures your abilities with.


Keeping up with friends and relatives' expectations can be draining, exhaustive and directional less

The real contest is between what we had done and what we're capable of doing.

Stop chasing the shadows of those living their lives in their own terms. In the end, you're as useless to them as them to you.

Depressed101:
I don't use Facebook anymore... I just like keeping sanity. You did the right thing. Only that you didn't have to delete their number.. Muting their status would have been better...

Don't be fooled also... Some of those people are like you, they have nothing. They are just trying to keep up like you.

It's better to delete, because if you mute them you'll still be seeing their status post at the bottom but blurred, and the temptation and curiosity to click and see will come upon you.

If you are afraid of losing their numbers, just save it in another small non-browsing phone, or write it down somewhere.

Take drastic measures to protect your mental health if you have to.

You don't have a problem but there's no point deleting their number.

You can mute their whatsapp all you want op, but it will not stop you envying them when they drive the rewards of their smart work past you while you are on a bus or walking in the street, or when they build a big massive house right there on your street and marry the most desirable girl that you can only dream of! So I strongly suggest you fix your own insides instead of focusing on their outsides or you'd find yourself at the babalawos buying juju to ruin your friends instead of mending yourself!

You know very well that you have problems!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_fDhqRk_Ro